


Her best friend's sister

by sabrinaavila



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-02-15 00:09:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 112,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13019124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabrinaavila/pseuds/sabrinaavila
Summary: Nicole Haught and Wynonna Earp have been best friends for a long time, but when Nicole's one night stands turns out to be her best friend's sister things get exponentially complicated.OrThe one in which Wynonna forbids everyone to chase after her little sister but after a druken night Nicole finds herself doing the exact opposite





	1. Blame it on the alcohol

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys!  
> So after a long time I'm back with a new wayhaught fic (can't seem to have enough of them, thankfully)!  
> As per usual, comments, opinions and thoughts are very welcome in here or on my tumblr (itsalltoo), and i cannot wait to hear what you think of this one.  
> Just a quick reminder, even though i have the most amazing beta (Thanks Anna!!) English is not my first language, so please forgive any major mistakes.  
> Enjoy!!

"Okay nerds listen up" Wynonna said excitedly as she waved around her doughnut to try and get everyone's attention "You all know that my sister is finally coming back home this weekend, so I will be throwing a kick ass party at our house and you are all invited"  
"Hell yeah" Jeremy mouthed just as excitedly from the chair he occupied by Nicole’s side.  
"Here's the deal, I'll provide the alcohol and the food but I want absolutely no funny business with my sister!" Her look showed no sign of a joke "She's just arriving and I don't want any of you weirdos driving her out of the country again"

Everyone could sense the death threat lingering in the air, but the prospect of free booze made every single person in the room forget that it was "crazy chick with a gun" Wynonna Earp who issued the threats and they celebrated way louder than it would be expected for a work place. Wynonna's grin grew only wider as people passed by giving her high fives and thanking her for the invitation. It was not a stretch to say that the precinct needed to relax a little bit but it hadn’t been long since their last party had happened. In fact, just the prior month Doc was welcoming all of them at his very small apartment so they could commemorate... whatever it was they were commemorating. Truth was, the whole police department would always jump head first on any opportunity to dance, drink, eat crappy food and make terrible life decisions, or pretty much anything that could wash away the dark side of their profession, especially if it was at someone else's account. 

Except that time was different, well maybe not for those outside of the Scooby gang, as Jeremy not so graciously named their group of friends, but it was different nonetheless. For weeks they had witnessed firsthand how Wynonna had grown more and more anxious at the prospect of seeing her sister again. Little Waverly had moved to London with their aunt over twelve years earlier, and who Nicole's best friend hadn't seen in what seemed like forever. Nicole had known Wynonna for five years and even to her the details of the Earp family were very unclear. But the important thing was that her sister was coming to town for a job interview and was going to stay for a little while at first and maybe, if things went right, for a long time. Needless to say that in the midst of all the confusing feelings, Wynonna was ecstatic. The party was just an instrument to avoid any possible awkwardness between her and her beloved, but estranged, little sister. 

"Haughty" Wynonna said as the celebratory high fives ended and she moved closer to Nicole's desk  
"Yeah?" Nicole had a feeling she already knew what she was going to ask of her. It had become some sort of a pattern with them throughout the years.  
"I was wondering, since you don't really like my parties anyway, if you could cover for me on Saturday? I’m on desk duty so nothing wild will happen and you can still make it if you end up wanting to tag along" She said with her annoyingly fake pouting  
"I can join you guys at the end, when everyone is already way too drunk to have any sort of conversation" Nicole couldn't tell exactly why she was so frustrated and offended with the simple request, she knew better than to not expect it, and she didn't really enjoy Wynonna's party anyway, yet she couldn’t help it.  
"C'mon, as if you were planning on staying for the whole thing?" She asked, honestly concerned that she might have somehow misread her best friend's intentions, but the redhead' silence gave away her answer "Nicole, I've known you for years, you were probably going to stay for like five minutes then go back to Calamity Jane and an ungodly marathon of criminal... Scenes? Minds? Files?"  
"Fine" She sighed knowing that the Earp woman was right and that there was no way in hell she was going to deny her friend that simple request, especially not given the situation "But you owe me big time"  
"Thanks. You're the best partner I have!" Wynonna grinned victoriously as she started to walk towards her own desk  
"I am your only partner!" Nicole shouted to which she received only a lazy shrug and an ever present middle finger 

Nicole wasn't a party girl, true, but it is not like she was a complete stranger to them. She loved going to Jeremy and Doll's parties. They always put a lot of effort on creating a pleasant environment where people could talk if they wanted to talk, dance if they wanted to dance, make out if they wanted to do so and get wasted while doing all of it. Eliza and Doc also threw great parties, but they always drew in a strange crowd that inadvertently made it end too soon because of this and that person starting to punch one another. Wynonna's parties however were something else entirely, she always cared way too much about the alcohol and way too little about everything else, specially the food, which is not at all a great combination. So, to Nicole, attending one of Wynonna's parties usually meant making a quick appearance before everyone had time to get irresponsibly drunk. Usually. She could still remember quite vividly what happened the last time she allowed her best friend to convince her to stay for a little longer. That and how terribly it had ended. But she was sort of hoping to relax on Saturday, it had been one crazy week with the new and increased death threats from the revenant gang and Nicole could use a five minutes break from constantly hoping the precinct wouldn't blow up as Bobo had promised. Still she decided to focus on the silver lining, her best friend was happy and that was all that mattered, everything else could be dealt with later. Wynonna needed that party to work. 

-X-

Nicole sighed. 

Her annoyance was visible and palpable. She had been listening to Wynonna's post interview notes and doing the transcriptions for hours without a break, she was determined to go through all the files as fast as possible but Wynonna had a habit of talking a bit too much on them and adding useless information which only made the transcription process longer. The detective could feel her muscles getting stiff from spending so much time in one position by the computer, her lower back hurt like hell, courtesy of the department crappy chair, but it was the pain emanating from her neck that kept distracting her from the task at hand. She massaged it the best way she could, adding a little pressure here and there with her fingers and making circular motions with her thumbs to try and ease the tension. It most definitely did not do the job, leaving her even more annoyed than before. Her best friend owed her big time, Nicole thought to herself. She checked the clock one more time noticing how only five minutes had passed since the last time she had looked, which she felt like was five hours before. 

Nicole's coffee mug laid empty in the middle of her messy desk, not that she cared much for the watery coffee from the precinct but it had helped her feel less like murdering Wynonna and all of her other friends many times before, especially when they made her work on a Saturday evening. It was a strange mix of tasteless and incredibly disgusting beverage, but it was a much needed distraction that Nicole kept turning to during work hours. She had arrived four hours earlier to a rather calm and empty precinct with everyone from the earlier shift already on their way home to get ready for the party. The ones that had to work through it remained quiet and isolated as an act of rebellion for having to miss the party, the expectations were nowhere low for what sort of epic get together miss Wynonna Earp would throw next, and having to work through one of those was a literal nightmare for many officers.

"The date is February 21th" Wynonna's voice came from the speaker as Nicole played another recording "Earlier today we got a call about a grave robbing, Nicole went to the scene and I went to speak with the next of kin. Turns out mister..." Wynonna fumbled with the paper she had in hand trying to find out the name of the deceased "Clootie. Oh yes, former mayor Clootie had not one, but two widows! I remember when Mercedes told me about the second wedding, wild stuff. Anyway, I entered the house and found the polygamous, or was it polyamory widows?" The recording went quiet for a while as Wynonna thought about the question "I found them bickering with one another, they were throwing accusations and I could barely get one word in. They mentioned Bobo's name a few times and everything sounded very vague with their answers. I'm sure they're hiding something. Gotta come back for a follow up soon" Wynonna apparently thought she had turned off the recorder when she spoke next "Enough with this creepy shit, I'm going to get Dolls and then some whiskey"

Nicole laughed at how Wynonna that was, but she was right about those Clootie widows, something felt off about the whole grave robbing and the amount of a dirty secrets they were uncovering. There were all sorts of cryptic signs around the grave, there were shady deals back from when he was mayor, and of course, there was the strange connection between Mayor Clootie and gangster boss Bobo Del Rey. Whatever it was, it made Nicole uneasy to think about it. While she inspected and collected evidences at the cemetery she felt chills in the back of her head, like something really creepy was going on right at that second without her knowing.

Nicole finished typing the transcription, kindly leaving Wynonna's booty call out the report, and fixing the interview paperwork when she decided, much like her best friend would, to drop that shit and get some whiskey. The detective had worked at the station long enough to know that Wynonna and Doc hid not one but several bottles of alcohol somewhere in there to keep them company whenever they were stuck in the night shift, sometimes on the day shift as well. They didn't exactly share the location with anyone but Nicole made an educated guess that it was either in the ceiling of the kitchen or somewhere in the evidence locker. Nicole triple checked if she had properly saved her work before turning off the devices in front of her and leaving the room. She started walking towards the evidence locker on the other side of the building and the detective was happy to find that her detecting skills were still amazing when upon checking the evidence box of one of the precinct's oldest cold case she found three bottles of whiskey, two of tequila, and a few beers stashed away among the real evidence. However the blissful feeling was completely replaced for absolute terror when, around forty minutes later, the captain found her, holding her third, or maybe sixth, glass of whiskey. 

"Detective Haught" Captain Nedley's voice echoed in every surface of the room hitting Nicole's ears with the intensity of a packed up basketball arena complaining about the referee "Care to explain what's going on here?"  
"I..." Words seemed to fly away from her "There was..." she tried again with no success, although, to be fair she was partially drunk at that point  
"Weren't you supposed to be filling in for Wynonna?" He asked seriously  
"I was, I mean, I am. Sir. But I'm done. It wasn't a lot of work, she's just not very productive when it comes to bureaucracy" She answered honestly  
"And you thought you'd have a party in here to celebrate your productivity?" His disapproving tone was killing Nicole's good cop side  
"Well since I cannot go to the other party" The alcohol suddenly started making the detective way more honest than she should be "I thought why not"  
"Oh Nicole for the love of god this is a police station, we are the law. This is a serious environment!" For a second she wondered if she was getting fired, drinking on the job wasn't exactly stellar behavior "But if you're done with your work get out of here"  
"Oh" was all Nicole managed to say  
"Go to Wynonna's party and please send me back whoever is sober while you’re at it, it seems like every officer has forgotten all about their jobs today. The ones actually working are in such terrible mood it's like I kicked their puppies" He sighed "Get out of here Nicole"  
"Yes, of course" She chugged the remaining content of her glass before getting up from the floor, which didn't seem to ease the captain's annoyance "Get to the party, get the officers, work. Got it! See you on Monday captain"  
"And Nicole" He said stopping the woman in her tracks "Get a cab for the love of god!!"

Nicole could still feel Nedley's disappointment as she left the station, making only one quick stop to gather her belongings and add a to do list to her phone before the alcohol took over and made her forget what she was supposed to do once she got the party, which would inadvertently lead to another unwanted scolding from her boss. Lucky for her as soon as she stepped outside the building a cab drove by, sheltering her from the cold February air that embraced her. The drive wasn't very long, the Earp house was just on the outskirts of town, far enough to allow them some privacy and a huge backyard but close enough to work and to Wynonna's favorite pub downtown. As soon as the yellow car turned on the Earp's street the detective started hearing the music blasting through whatever speaker Wynonna had on, and Nicole could only imagine how drunk everyone was going to be at that point. The drive through the remaining five blocks brought back unpleasant memories from their last party. Dolls and Doc going full on Alfa male on Wynonna while Jeremy cried on Eliza's shoulder and Nicole kissed a random stranger. She paid the driver with a much generous tip, an apology for how her drunk self was unable to give a proper address to her destination and for all the awkward moments on the short drive in which she thought she felt sick.

As soon as Nicole entered the house she was welcomed with an intense and all too familiar smell of liquor and bad decisions. The setting was the same for every party: alcohol displayed in a table right in the middle of the room, something resembling food in a corner shadowed by the speakers, and then there were the groups. Much like high school everyone knew their unspoken place, the beat cops, the officers, detectives and the CSIs all hanged with their peers. Meanwhile there was Nicole’s dysfunctional little family: two detectives, one sergeant, one csi, one coroner and an assisting FBI agent. Whether it was because of their unique mix or because they usually ran the parties their group always seemed to catch everyone's attention immediately. Given that, it came as a huge surprise when Nicole’s eyes laid on Jeremy standing alone nursing not one, not two, but three cups of alcohol while looking completely dislocated and out of place. 

"Jeremy? Where's everyone?" Nicole said catching his attention and the immediate look of relief that appeared on his face. That only gave enough away for her to know that she had stumbled upon one messy situation  
"Nicole! Yes! You're here!" He smiled happily before trying, and failing to walk towards her "Hey there!"  
"Hey there drunkie, let's go get you some water while you tell me what happened here" She said as she put one of his arms around her shoulders and forced his legs to move “You gotta help me here buddy”  
"Nothing much really, Wynonna was a nervous wreck and she could barely make it through introductions before she disappeared with Doc. Eliza and Dolls left about five minutes ago and I was trying to mingle but no one here seems to care about the lab rat" he spilled everything in one breath “And you're here now! Wait, why are you here?” He moved to take a better look at her “And why are you drunk?"  
"I'm just like mildly drunk, I think" Nicole said unconvincingly  
"Sure, you have less of a resistance than I do" he said with a victorious sound as the detective sit him on the nearest stool before moving to get both of them a glass of water “And you look all messy”  
"Thanks Jer” Nicole said ironically before she decided to use his help “Look, I need you to do me a favor, I need you to gather up the sober officers and send them back to the station, the captain is shorthanded and pissed off" She said slowly, making sure that Jeremy was actually absorbing what she was saying before she continued "Now, have you seen the owner of this party?"  
"Do you mean Wynonna or Waverly?" He asked in between sips of his water  
"Wynonna" She respond. Just like she expected, five minutes inside and she already felt her desire to run home starting to take over, so she needed to make her presence known before bolting home  
"Well, she took off with Doc and I haven’t seen them since" he said with a shrug as if it was an obvious conclusion "I told you this. Wynonna and Doc, Eliza and Dolls"  
"Oh. Yes yes. And do you know where I can find the sister then?" She said matter of factly  
"Nope” he said popping the e with a childlike excitement “I saw her at the beginning of the party, she looked very out of her element, she went around saying hello to everyone and then she disappeared too I suppose" He said while clearly trying to persuade his inebriated brain into giving his friend more details  
"What does she look like? What was she wearing? Where can I find her?" Nicole asked, feeling the anxiety build up inside of her the more frustrated she got  
"Chill Detective Haught. First off I was drunk when she arrived so her face is kinda foggy, all I know from her features is what we got from that ten year old picture of the Earp siblings" he said defensively "And last time I checked she was wearing a white tank top. I think”  
"Okay, I'm sorry" The Detective decided right there that someone needed to take control of that party before things got out of hand again, but if she was to challenge a bunch of drunk cops she definitely needed to be ten times drunker "Please drink more water, then go look for Captain Nedley's people" She quickly drank two shots of tequila "I'll go look for the Earp girl and if you don't see me or Wynonna in forty minutes, shut this party down"  
"Yes yes detective" he annoyedly mumbled something that Nicole could only assume was his drunken self wondering how he could do what he was asked

Nicole took a deep breath before letting the burn from the tequila ease its way down her throat and numb the unpleasant memories and anxiety away. She allowed herself two seconds of pretending she wasn’t supposed to play the responsible adult at that party before opening her eyes and starting to check the house for any signs of her partner. She knew all along that Wynonna would be a mess, it was expected given the built up nerves and expectations. She would do literally anything and everything in her power to make sure her sister's visit was great and pleasant, and more, so that it eventually could turn into a permanent stay. But it was hard asking Wynonna to deal with her emotions, whatever they were, she barely kept it together most of the time and one glance at what truly hid behind her sarcasm would be enough to destroy her. So needless to say, it was an impossible situation that would only be made possible with time and effort, from everyone involved, specially her friends.

The first place Nicole checked was the bedroom. She hesitantly opened the door, hoping not to find anything non pg rated taking place in there. A younger and less experienced Nicole had walked in on people getting their freak on one too many times, but luckily for her it was empty. The detective then proceeded to Wynonna’s room, fearing once again that she would run into someone naked, a fear which was aggravated as she recalled how suggestive Jeremy's words had been when she asked about Wynonna’s whereabouts. But once again luck was on her side, the "don't come inside" note hanging from the door had been respected by everyone, including the house owner. Realizing that the party hadn’t taken its usual turn, Nicole felt much more relaxed as she proceeded checking every other room in the house, taking time to explore every ounce of it, looking anything out of the ordinary while she tried to spot a brunet in a white tank top. However, as Nicole opened the last bedroom her luck ran out. After scanning the entire house she did not succeed in finding neither her best friend nor her sister, instead, the only thing Nicole found was a rather messy unpacked bag with one wine stained white tank top on top.

At that point the detective realized that it was futile to keep searching for the sister since the only real clue as to who she was was discarded on a bed. Truth was that, even though as a detective Nicole was very good at identifying people, face's and name's, she couldn't really identify the younger Earp’s face because of her relative inebriated state, especially when the only photograph she had ever seen of the woman was around a decade old. Fact which Wynonna never really provided an explanation for and, knowing how sensitive of a topic that was, Nicole always thought better not to push the subject. Even though she had pretty much accepted defeat, and choosing to ignore the fact that Wynonna had most likely already left the house at that point and the fact that she probably wouldn’t recognize the sister, Nicole decided to double check the house before truly giving up on her quest to find the Earp sister.

After a while, Nicole spotted Jeremy talking to a very annoyed woman in blue in the corner or her eyes. She watched him for a little while, realizing than that he had clearly sobered up a lot since she left him in the kitchen and was most likely telling the sober officers to report for duty. Even though the selected ones didn’t seem happy with a csi bossing them around, Jeremy seemed to have the whole party under control, so Nicole gave him a thumbs up before grabbing a water bottled and moving to the backyard, her earlier cab experience having made it clear that she needed to sober up a bit more before heading home and getting some sleep. To Nicole’s surprise, as she opened the door she noticed that the tree house had a faint light on, and certainly if Wynonna had explicitly prohibited the use of the rooms, that particular space was most definitely out of bounds. The tree house was a treasured childhood memory that very few people had the right to visit. The only times Nicole and a few of the gang members were allowed in there was when Wynonna needed help with repairs. The detective climbed the unsteady stairs the best way she could, one step at a time, holding on for dear life to the rope trying to avoid a certain fall. After what seemed like an eternity of an unwanted struggled between her brain and muscles, Nicole reached the top of stairs and quietly entered the tree house.

The faint light came from an old flashlight. 

There wasn’t anyone there except for one person.

Only one. 

A small woman with the silhouette of an angel. Her face was shown dimly on the poorly illuminated room but Nicole could see enough. She could see her eyes and how it looked at ease, at home, while at the same time, it looked like it was hiding ghosts and wars. She could see the tip of her nose and how it perfectly molded her young features. The detective could see her lips as the bottle of whiskey left it and she could see the little drops of alcohol that slip through the side of her dark pink lipstick painted lips. Nicole immediately felt like she knew that person, that maybe their paths had crossed at some point, but despite her best efforts she couldn't put her finger on it just right. Maybe the woman was the new rookie from the night shift, or a waitress at the bar, maybe she was one of Wynonna's informant. All Nicole knew was how absolutely beautiful the woman was, even in that small and poorly illuminated tree house. 

"I don't really believe you're supposed to be in here ma'am" Nicole said with a surprisingly flirty tone  
"And what are you? The tree house police?" She giggled while she tried to keep a serious demeanor  
"Tree house detective actually" Nicole said playfully "I saw the light in here and decided to check if everything was okay. But I can see clearly that everything is in fact okay, it's just you” Her teasing and relaxed tone surprised her and just like that, the urge to go home was gone  
"Oh, way to make a girl feel special detective" she was tipsy, it was clear by the way she spoke ever so slowly, every word that escaped her lips had been carefully triple checked and, although Nicole was definitely still a little tipsy herself, the detective knew the woman was flirting back  
"I'm sorry tree house girl" Nicole smiled feeling braver by the positive exchange "It's most pleasing to find you here. What I meant was, I'm glad no one is having sex in here, you know"  
"I'm sure we are pleased with that detective" she smiled, looking inside her eyes for the first time and Nicole knew right there that she was a goner. 

-/-

Waking up was a nightmare. Nicole’s phone buzzed tirelessly somewhere outside of her reach, her head hurt as if it were under heavy construction and her body trembled as the cold winter wind hit every surface of her very undressed form. Nicole moved her hand up and down in an attempt to find the warmth that was missing, the other body that was supposed to be laying in the wooden floor with her, the nameless stranger that had warmed her night and tired her body. As her hands came empty, Nicole forced her eyes to open as if that would provide any evidence that she wasn't waking up alone after what she could only describe as an amazing night. Regardless of her labeling it a one night stand in the early moments of the previous night, Nicole’s soul felt heavy as she was forced to accept the fact that the only thing with her was the lazy sunlight that made its way through the cracks of the old tree house. That was most definitely going to result in a very, very awkward meeting whenever her path crossed with the tree house girl's, and the only thing Nicole could wish for was it happened somewhere in which she could avoid any form of teasing from her best friend. Wynonna knew no boundaries when it came to making Nicole blush and fumble in front of hot girls.

Her phone rang again catching Nicole’s attention and she had to gather every ounce of strength in her to get it from where it rested alongside her discarded clothes but her muscles complained with the effort, indicating that her nightly activity had exhausted her more than she had anticipated. She picked up the devise and was shocked to find 27 unread texts and six unanswered calls, all from one Wynonna Earp. Nicole got up in one swift move making the floor beneath her feet seem a little too unstable and the world a little too blurry. In the midst of everything that happened in the last 24 hours Nicole had completely forgotten that she was supposed to be having breakfast with both the Earp women because, as Wynonna had awkwardly put it, she needed her best friend and her sister to get along if she had any hopes in showing Waverly that she could grow roots there. They had settled for 8am, which would give them enough time to chat before they had to go to work, however, as she read the first text, Nicole realized that she was thirty minutes late. She quickly called an uber as she multitasked in putting on her clothed, running inside the house to find the spare toothbrush Nicole always kept below the sink on the communal bathroom and taking advantage of the medicine cabinet to grab two aspirins. Surprisingly, within ten minutes Nicole was rushing inside the dinner to meet a very anxious Wynonna Earp, who, upon seeing her, immediately got up and started talking. 

"Hey, finally Haught stuff, I thought you were dead!" She said nervously  
"I'm sorry, it was a..." Nicole thought better not to say anything, in order to avoid the mocking for as long as I could "I lost track of time. I'm so sorry I'm late"  
"It's okay Haughtie" Wynonna smiled "Nicole this is my sister Waverly" the petit figure who had her back to the detective slowly turned around revealing a very, very familiar face "Waverly, this is..."  
"Oh shit" Nicole interrupted as memories of the previous night's tree house adventures came crashing


	2. Oh no!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i finally updated the second chapter, thankfully! This one took a while because of the hollidays and all of that. Hopefully you guys had a great time with the ones you love. If that's not the case, maybe this will make you a little happy.  
> Anyway, I hope you guys like this one. It was very interesting to write ;)  
> As per usual, feel free to comment and to tell me your thoughts.  
> Have fun!
> 
> P.S.: Shout out to my amazing beta. Anna, you're amazing mate.

"Waverly this is..."  
"Oh shit" Nicole swore loudly interrupting her best friend. She felt as her pale face went even paper as color left it  
"Are you okay there Nicole? It looks like a ghost entered your body" Wynonna laughed cluelessly  
"Um, I'm fine" She lied "I just had too much to drink last night, I suppose I’m still a bit off"  
"Oh I didn't know you went to the party, I didn’t catch you there. Did you do anything interesting?" Wynonna knowingly teased her best friend. After all, Nicole had a tendency of doing impulsive and reckless things when she was incredibly drunk, history serving as proof.  
"I, did um..." Nicole was hyper aware of what had happened the previous night but knew it was a terrible idea to say something about it, specially before she had a chance to process what she had done "Waverly” The detective turned to the third woman “I'm Nicole. Nicole Haught"  
"It's a pleasure to meet you detective” Waverly smiled, and the detective wasn't completely sure if her brain was still working but she could've sworn the younger woman had winked at her  
"Okay! This is great. You two will get along just fine!" Wynonna intervened "Let's eat now cause I'm starving"

Nicole sat at her designated spot, a chair between Wynonna and Waverly and slowly but surely she felt the colors returning to her face. Nicole knew damn well what she had done, who she had done it with and just how the whole situation was a screwed up mess. But as terrible as the situation was, dealing with it and its consequences was a problem for another time, because in that moment she had only one job, and it was to be a good friend to Wynonna and to help her in any way she could to rekindle with her sister. And so Nicole did. She helped them navigate through topics and as she did she watched Wynonna's eyes filling with love, pride and adoration as she spoke about her little sister, about her successes and her accomplishments as a historian and as a person in general. As the conversation went on it became clear that despite the many many secrets between them, despite all the things that had driven them apart and all the time they had spent in different continents the sisterly bond was still very much alive. Wynonna smiled every time Waverly spoke and behind her always present sarcasm was her sincere love. And just as present was Waverly’s love when she heard her sister talk mindlessly about the most various subjects. 

After a little chat and a round of hot coffee, Hetty came by with her usual bored attitude and picked up their orders. Waverly asked for banana muffins and green tea, Wynonna asked for an impressive amount of pancakes with a new cup of coffee and Nicole went for her usual hangover food: more, way more coffee, black. Hetty took a minute to reminisce with Waverly about their childhood and soon she was talking about an event with all of their childhood friends that would happen on summer, event which Waverly promptly agreed to attending. Nicole noticed that Waverly’s long term planning made Wynonna smile brightly, and she thought that maybe things would work out after all. As they ate their breakfast they talked about light topics, about Waverly’s flight, which she assured was surprisingly pleasant considering how turbulent London’s airspace was. They also talked about the party, Wynonna tried once again to discover what had gone down with her best friend and Waverly intervened forcing her sister to refocus the conversation on the two of them instead of the blushing redhead. Even though the conversation went another direction, Nicole couldn’t stop the avalanche of memories flooding her thoughts. 

//

"I'm sure we are pleased with that detective" she smiled, looking inside Nicole's eyes for the first time. Nicole knew right there that she was a goner.  
“Do you mind if I keep you company for a little while?” Nicole asked  
“Don’t want to join the party detective?” The girl asked playfully but Nicole saw something familiar behind her eyes. That girl was lonely.  
“I’m not really much of a party person, I just came cause my best friend asked me to” She answered honestly “But everyone is going to get kicked out in a few minutes anyway so I can leave you alone” She paused before shyly continuing “Or I can stay if you want”  
“That would be nice” the mysterious girl smiled and patted the floor with her free hand “come sit”  
“Whatever you want ma’am” Nicole flirted back.

She took in a deep breath and slowly took the place by the woman’s side. Her legs were dangling from the edge of the tree house following the beat of the EDM song coming from the house. Before she knew it, she had synced the movements of her legs with the woman’s by her side who idly bounced them, too absorbed in her own little world to pay attention to what was playing inside the house. Nicole however, hummed to the song. She most definitely did not know the whole lyrics to it but she had attended enough of her best friend’s parties to have heard it before, and once you heard those types of song, it wasn’t too hard to catch on. They watched as groups of angry looking cops were hushed out the door by one very small Jeremy and couldn’t help but giggle when the boy, seemingly thankful for still having his head, took a big gulp of the drink he had taken from one of the man in blue he had just kicked out of the party. The image made Nicole ache for a sip of alcohol so she made a move to drink whatever was in her cup and she immediately cursed herself. Her hand came empty and she remembered how she had ditched whiskey and tequila for a bottle of water that she had left somewhere in the yard before climbing up the tree. To her surprise, Nicole heard the woman sitting by her side laughing loudly at the scene. 

“Drinking on the job detective?” The woman asked “Well, trying to at least” and laughed again.  
“Oh dammit, you caught me” Nicole smiled at the sound of the woman’s laughter “But I seem to have come empty handed”  
“Here” The woman lifted her bottle of whiskey and poured a little onto an empty cup before handling it to Nicole “Let me help”  
“Thank you” the detective took a sip of the drink and felt her throat burning “That’s some hard stuff you have here” she had to take a breath in order to ease the surprising burning “I didn’t know Wynonna was serving the hard stuff tonight”  
“I don’t think she is” The woman giggled lightly before continuing “I just know where to find it”  
“Who’s busted now?” Nicole winked  
“Oh well detective, what are you going to do about it?” Waverly teased 

Nicole considered her options. Ever since stepping foot on the tree house she felt like the woman was not so discreetly flirting with her, but it was always a risk hooking up with a colleague. And added to that complication, Nicole had early on her career decided not to cross that line. Ever. However the line was getting exponentially blurrier as the liquor ran through her veins and desire burned in her heart. And so Nicole started to close the space between them. The line was getting blurrier as brown eyes stared into hers. She automatically put her cup down, freeing her hands to explore. The line kept getting blurrier as those same eyes were close shut and as the woman’s lips parted. The line disappeared as Nicole face rested so close to the other woman’s that she could feel her rapid breathing. The line was immediately back up when all of a sudden the music was gone and a wave of extremely unhappy yells took its place on the completely lighten up house. 

Nicole moved back as quickly as she could. She had been so wrapped up in her own bubble that she had completely forgotten where she was and what time it was. She had asked Jeremy to kick everyone out and it had appeared that the boy had somewhat accomplished that. A horde of drunken police officers started to make their way out of the house and the complains started to die down as they did. Nicole was flustered, she could feel her cheeks reddening and her whole body burning and in the silence she could hear her rapid heart and her short breaths. There was no way she could’ve stopped if she had kissed the woman in front of her. Even if in that moment she had seriously reconsidered the rule she had set up for herself seven years earlier, the moment had passed. However, despite how fleeing that moment had been, Nicole couldn’t help but wish for time to turn back and for her to close the almost nonexistent space between their lips. 

“I’m going to get the bottle” Nicole said as she noticed questioning eyes staring at her.  
“What?” The woman responded with an even more puzzled look.  
“The whiskey” she tried to clarify what she was saying “you asked me what I was going to do” she avoided the woman’s gaze.  
“Oh” the shorter woman answered with an unreadable expression before handling the bottle.  
“Thank you ma’am” Nicole said feeling very stupid for not only ruining her chance but for practically stealing the woman’s drink “I should um, probably go now” she said already moving towards the door. The last thing Nicole needed was to spend another second in that awkward mess she had created.  
“Detective” the woman grabbed Nicole’s hand before she had a chance to leave “I don’t believe that’s what you intended to do” The woman’s tone was suggestive enough for Nicole to know she hadn’t been as swift as she hoped.  
“I... no” Nicole blushed again ashamed to have been caught “I’m sorry”  
“Don’t apologize” the woman smiled “Do something”

Nicole was taken aback by the bluntness of the entire situation. The woman in front of her was something else entirely. Within minutes she had already managed to do something most people couldn’t, she had managed to push Nicole out of her comfort zone, to forget the rules even if just for a second. All of that and the woman was none but a probable one night stand. With Nicole still taken aback the woman got up and closed the space between them, searching inside Nicole’s eyes for permission, which the detective gladly gave. The woman wrapped her arms around the detective’s neck and kissed her slowly. They fit perfectly together and the remaining drops of whiskey in their lips mixed with their burning desire made for an even more perfect match. Nicole noticed how kissing a complete stranger made her feel more relaxed and at home than she had in a long time. Wrapped in the woman’s arms and emancipated by her lips, Nicole allowed the woman to unbutton her shirt and take off her tank top. The woman skillfully explored every inch of the detective’s body, nibbling and placing soothing kisses as she went down. 

She took her time savoring it. With every kiss she learned a little better what made Nicole Haught go weak in the knee and the detective let her. The detective kept her hand on the woman’s hair, feeling as her grip tightened, grasping for something to hold on to. 

Nicole wanted more, she needed more. With every new touch her body ached for release. Somehow her desire clouded mind managed to remember that after they helped Wynonna renovate the tree house, she had kept an old mattress in there from when she used to do sleepovers with her sister. It was small, old and dusty, but it would allow them more freedom to move, explore and pleasure. Nicole opened her eyes and saw the woman kneeling, trailing kisses down her abdomen. It took everything in her to fight the urge to let her take her right there. But managing to keep her eyes from shutting, Nicole quickly scanned the room in search of the old mattress. She was definitely getting luckier by the second. The mattress laid exactly where she had seen it last, by the left corner, near the door, on their opposite side. Grinning with her victory, she softly pulled the woman’s hair to get her to stand up again, her body immediately missing the attention. Nicole blindly guided them towards the mattress as their shared heated kisses, soft bites and muffled moans. The detective straddled the woman beneath her and for a few seconds she allowed herself to awe her. The woman was beautiful. And at least for one night she was hers. Nicole’s fingers traced the contour of the woman’s lips before trailing down her neck, shoulders and abdomen. She lingered on the skin exposed by the red crop top before taking it out. Regardless of how much she wanted to rush, Nicole took her time undressing the woman beneath her, piece by piece, her fingers running through the newly exposed skin and eliciting goose bumps on the woman. 

Her lips followed shortly. Kissing her lips that even then still tasted of expensive whiskey. Kissing her pulse point and feeling it speed up as she did. The contour of her breasts which Nicole could see herself getting lost in. Her abdomen and the ripped muscles in there. Her hips. Her thighs. The brunette’s hand gripped the mattress and Nicole’s breathing was unsteady. The atmosphere grew heavier by the second, both of them waiting for what came next. As expectations built up, Nicole noticed the other woman’s confidence wavering. 

“We don’t have to do this” Nicole said simply “It’s alright” she offered an honest smile before continuing “Maybe you think you’ve had a bit too much to drink or maybe you just changed your mind, whatever your reason is, we don’t have to keep going”  
“Thank you, but I’m alright” She returned the smile “Dealing with alcohol has never been a problem for me, it’s in my genes I supposed” She moved her hand to rest on Nicole’s neck.  
“Duly noted ma’am” Nicole said  
“Plus, c’mon, I would never change my mind after getting you half naked” She winked. “Detective hot ass” Nicole had to fight the urge to laugh at how familiar that nickname had grown to be with years of working with her best friend.  
“Okay” Nicole was glad to see her smiling “But seriously, it’s okay if you don’t want to do anything else” She searched inside the woman’s eye for any sign that she had changed her mind “We can just kiss, or talk, or even sleep”  
“No” She said confidently “I want this. I want you”

It was all the confirmation that Nicole needed. She kissed the brunette’s lips with adoration, pouring all of her desire and building up the tension. Her bottom lip quivered and her arms trembled as she pulled away earning a puzzled look from the other woman. Nicole locked eyes with her as she unbuttoned her pants and slowly took off the rest of her clothes. She repositioned her body on top of the brunette’s and Nicole noticed once again how they simply fit. Every little move Nicole made was quickly followed by the other woman’s. Wherever her hands and lips went they seemed to know exactly what to do to elicit the sweetest sounds from the other woman. When she kissed the woman’s thighs she felt hands grabbing handfuls of red hair. When she kissed her center she heard moans escaping from swollen lips. When Nicole’s finger tentatively replaced her mouth she watched as the other woman forcefully bid on her lower lip and pulled her head back. And as the woman did so, the detective got one step closer to the verge. In the poorly lit tree house Nicole seized the moment, slow touches at first, letting her fingers trail her wet folds, teasing, waiting for the woman to ask for it, driving her insane. Nicole acted and the other woman reacted, rocking her hips to get what she wanted. So the detective’s fingers followed her pace quickly being joined by her mouth, nipping, biting, sucking. Earlobe, neck, breasts, nipples. Nicole knew what she was doing, overwhelming the woman’s sense with pleasure, following her instincts and discovering a map to the woman’s soft spots. It didn’t take long for the woman to come crashing, her body twitching from her climax. Nicole slowed her movements, helping the woman ride her high as she rhythmically caressed the woman’s arm. 

The brunette pulled Nicole in for a lazy kiss and as she did, the officer felt a smile growing in both their lips and for a quick second Nicole thought she wouldn’t mind spending her nights exactly like that. Again and again. However, the thought faded rapidly when her one night stand switched their positions. It was Nicole’s time to shiver in anticipation. The woman eyed her from head to toe, as she had done earlier that night, taking in the view under her. Her eyes stopped as she noticed the scar on Nicole’s left shoulder, a small round gunshot wound. She trailed her finger lightly through it, careful not to hurt the sensitive area and the detective noticed the curiosity and concern in her features. Nicole felt more vulnerable than she had in a long time, so she closed her eyes and waited for questions that never came. Instead of the usual inquiry that inadvertently led people to pity her she felt lips kissing her scared shoulder in the silent tree house. Shivers went down Nicole’s body with the unexpected action and so she gave all of herself to the woman on top of her, allowing her to drive her off the edge with skilled hands and tongue. As the hours passed their lips started tasting like one another, their bodies started dripping sweat and their breathing started picking. They eventually gave in to their exhausted bodies and fell asleep, limbs entangled with one another’s. 

//

The vivid memory made Nicole blush crimson. She was having breakfast with her best friend’s sister, while she kept remembering everything they did the previous night. Nicole knew that in that state she would inevitably catch her best friend’s attention, and knowing Wynonna, she would inevitably put her against the wall for information once she realized that the blush was much more than a simple hangover. In the corner of her eyes, Nicole noticed Waverly staring at her mischievously as she took a bite of her muffin. The younger Earp casually messed with her hair, exposing her neck and a not so subtle hickey on her collarbone and Nicole felt herself blushing impossibly harder. The woman knew what was going through the detective’s mind, she knew exactly what she was thinking and Nicole wondered if she knew just how affected she was by her. By her teasing. By her presence. By the memories of the previous night... She couldn’t take it any longer. Feeling her mind starting to drift once again Nicole got up and excused herself to the bathroom. 

“Oh my god” Nicole said to herself as soon as she entered the bathroom “I slept with Wynonna’s baby sister”  
“Oh you did way more than just sleeping” Waverly said, appearing out of nowhere and closing the door behind her “Are you okay?” Her tone was serious but she couldn’t help a small giggle after seeing the detective’s face  
“Waverly Earp” the startled redhead said.  
“Nicole Haught” Waverly smiled and the redhead’s heart skipped a beat upon hearing the brunette say her name for the very first time “You haven’t answered me, are you okay?”  
“I’m not sure “okay” is the word” Nicole said earning an inquisitive look from the other woman “I wasn’t... I didn’t... know”  
“Oh boy” Waverly mumbled as a panicking thought crossed her mind “Oh no, you weren’t too drunk to not know what you we were doing, were you?”  
“What?” Nicole asked confused “No. I knew what we were doing and I wanted it” her eyes and words seemed to ease Waverly’s mind “I just had no idea that you were well, you”  
“You didn’t ask my name” Waverly said matter of factly.  
“Neither did you” The detective promptly responded “if I properly recall”  
“I was more interested in getting you out of your clothes” The shorter woman said seductively, making Nicole blush once more.  
“Waverly, you’re my best friend’s sister! She made it clear to the whole precinct that you were off bounds” The detective argued.  
“We are both consenting adults Nicole, my sister has nothing to do with this” Waverly took a few steps closing in the distance between them and rested one of her hands on Nicole’s neck “But you should do something about these hickeys on your neck”  
“What?!” A wide eyed Nicole started to check her neck frantically as panic took over her mind before she heard a giggle coming from the other woman “You’re joking”  
“Yes silly” Waverly smiled.

Nicole breathed, relieved. She was nowhere near out of the woods, but as Waverly’s contagious smile started brushing off on her, the redhead was no longer feeling so bad. They stood in the middle of the small bathroom giggling and enjoying the peaceful feeling for a little while. For the first time after learning her one night stand’s name, Nicole’s mind was calm enough for her to study the woman. She was breathtakingly beautiful and that was just the surface, the more Nicole looked at Waverly’s features, at how her hair fell in waves down her back, at how her eyes shone with amusement as she giggled and at how her smile lightened the atmosphere around her, the more Nicole wanted to look at her, at every inch of her, at every minuscule thing that made Waverly Earp, Waverly. The detective noticed how the shorter woman’s hand still rested on her neck and a shiver went down her spine as the detective unconsciously relaxed with the familiar touch.

Nicole felt her heart beating faster and faster the more she acknowledged the hand on her neck. She felt the air changing, getting heavier and charged with electricity as Waverly too noticed just how close they stood. The detective felt her feet moving as the Earp woman sprang into action, leading them to the nearest wall and pressing the detective to it. Nicole felt Waverly’s hand moving with expertise to her cheek and to the back of her neck and it was getting exponentially harder to equate the feeling between her legs and the aching guilty in her heart. However all it took was one look, one look inside Waverly’s brown eyes, eyes which searched inside her own for consent. Eyes which were filled with desire, care and understanding. One look and Nicole found herself longing for their lips to touch.

The redhead swallowed hard but nodded, answering Waverly’s unspoken question. She tilted her head down allowing better access to the smaller woman but just like the previous night she took her time. Nicole had her eyes closed but could easily feel as Waverly caressed her neck as she kissed her chin and cheeks calmly, as she teased the detective blowing puffs of air into her heated skin. There was no point in trying to rush her, but time seemed to drag as Nicole wished for more, for those lips to reach its final destination. Her own lips were parted, waiting expectantly, but Waverly refused to give in. She continued trailing kisses through the detective’s face, kissing her cheeks, forehead and nose. Every time she got closer to Nicole’s lips, she inched closer just to pull back with a grin. However, behind all the teasing and confidence, the detective noticed how barely in control Waverly was. Her pulse was speeding up and every time she placed a new light kiss on Nicole’s pale skin her lips trembled.

They were walking on eggshells because Waverly knew what she wanted while Nicole didn’t. After a small bite on a particularly sensitive spot Nicole couldn’t take it anymore, she couldn’t care less about who Waverly was outside of those four walls. Understanding the small shift, Waverly adjusted herself and moved to kiss the detective’s lips. Just as their lips begin to touch the bathroom door was violently pushed open and both women were jumping to different places. 

“Are you guys alright?” Wynonna asked unbeknownst  
“Yeah” Nicole noticed the high pitch of her voice and faked a small cough to try and recompose herself “I am fine, we’re fine”  
“Okay” Wynonna said doubtfully “You two have been here for a while”  
“I... um, we... yeah” Nicole started fumbling with her words  
“I believe your friend is still a tad hangover and she’s having a hard time standing up let alone socializing” Waverly intervened with shocking ease making the detective question whether she was the only one aware of the gravity of their situation.  
“Oh probably, Nicole here has a tendency to overdo herself at parties” Wynonna grinned knowingly at her best friend “Don’t you Haught stuff?”  
“What kind of image are you trying to paint of me to your little sister?” Nicole huffed annoyed. Even thought she was not supposed to have a relationship with Waverly, she was not at all interested in having the woman that was just kissing her knowing of her past mistakes.  
“That your innocent look is just a play, that you’re in fact very naughty” Wynonna said and it didn’t pass unnoticed to Nicole the irony of the situation  
“I believe I’ve learned this” Waverly said without a second thought earning a questioning look from her sister before she hurried to complete “She must have had a wild night in order to be this...” She picked her next words carefully to tease the redhead and look innocently enough for her sister to not catch on “worn out still”  
“You have no idea” Nicole teased back.  
“Alright then, you’ll have to tell me all about it later “Wynonna said catching both women’s attention  
“I’ll pass” Nicole shrugged knowing full well her best friend wouldn’t let it go until she heard some story that entertained her enough “But your sister is correct, and if you guys don’t mind I’ll head home”  
“It’s alright, I have to get home and rest as well, I too had a very intense night” Waverly smiled innocently.  
“Alright then ladies” Nicole said as they walked back to their tables to gather their belongings “I’ll see you tomorrow Wyn, Captain Nedley was not too pleased with your party so he’ll have a mood on Monday”  
“It’s not like anyone got shot this time” She simply shrug  
“Yes, right” Nicole laughed at the memory “And Miss Earp, it was a pleasure meeting you”  
“I think we’re past this, call me Waverly, and the pleasure was mutual” Waverly smiled and Nicole’s heart skipped a beat “I hope to see you soon”  
“Waverly” Nicole nodded tilting the tip of her hat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr (itsalltoo) is also open for messages and if you ever want to chat about the story!


	3. Little White Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter will introduce a couple of key characters you’re all familiar with and will begin to explore the revenants. I know I said this fic doesn’t follow the supernatural route so you shouldn’t worry about it.   
> Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter and good news is that I’m already halfway done with the next one!!   
> As per usual, comments, thoughts and opinions are always very welcome, here and on my tumblr.   
> And last but definitely not least, a big thank you to my amazing beta, you rock!   
> Have fun!

Nicole sighed when the alarm clock started ringing at 5:30 on Monday morning. She hadn’t slept nearly as much as she needed to. Despite of having spent the entire Sunday wrapped up in her coziest blanket nursing her hangover, she hadn’t been able to rest at all. Her mind kept playing cruel tricks on her, sometimes traveling back to Waverly and what had happened on Saturday. But most of the time, Nicole kept trying to think of ways to excuse what she had done. They hadn’t asked for each other’s names, it didn’t seem to matter much then. All she knew of Waverly was the scarce details Wynonna had shared about their early childhood and a photo of a much younger version of her. And, when formal introductions had been made at the party, Nicole was at the precinct covering for her best friend. The detective could argue that they truly had no way of knowing one another. Nevertheless as much as she tried to find anything to excuse it, she knew that at the end of the day, Wynonna had explicitly asked for them not to get close to her sister and Nicole had not only crossed that line, she had destroyed it.

Regardless of the consequences and of her heavy heart and conscience she couldn’t forget just how right it had felt to kiss Waverly, to have her melt under her touch. Nicole had pushed the romanticized thought away on Saturday as Waverly’s lips trailed down her body, choosing to drown herself in the waves of pleasure the other woman was giving her. And she had forced the same thoughts out of her mind on Sunday morning as Wynonna adoringly talked about her baby sister like she was the most important person in her life. But Nicole hadn’t been able to ignore it any longer when she found herself alone in her apartment. Nicole couldn’t help remembering how well they had fitted together. Almost like they had been doing it together for a long time. Their bodies had fitted together perfectly when they had laid on top of one another. She couldn’t help thinking about how their minds had understood each other’s desires and how they had known just how to please one another. Nicole knew that was rare, that everything they had shared in such little time was more than most people had in a lifetime. The detective couldn’t push away the romanticized thought that every little thing about them seemed to have been matched perfectly to create magic.

The alarm started ringing once again, warning Nicole that she had just missed ten precious minutes with that last snooze. She cursed at the universe for a second before finally pushing the covers away and getting out of bed. She knew she was a little behind on schedule but she decided to win a little time by speeding up her morning routine. Not that a ten minutes delay mattered much to her always late ride. Nicole moved to the kitchen to get a fresh pot of coffee running and to get the cat’s food from the cabinet. She poured a small portion of the ration on the first bowl and changed the water on the second one. Calamity Jane meowed in protest at the amount of food in front of her, but Nicole decided to simply ignore her and stick to her schedule. Nevertheless the officer couldn’t help but to roll her eyes at the cat, reminding herself to speak to Doc about overfeeding her when he cat-sat Calamity. In addition to being spoiled by him, she was picking up some terribly bad habits from the man. Moving to the living room, Nicole picked up her yoga mat and changed into her workout clothes before she started working on her fitness routine, a habit she had picked up early on. Stretching her limbs she started her five steps daily routine. Five sets of sit ups, four of push-ups, three isometric holds and then two sets of pull ups. She began to feel her muscles burning from the effort as the small house started to smell like fresh coffee. The last step was an aerobic workout, fifteen nonstop minutes of skipping. Nicole poured herself a big glass of water to rehydrate, undressed her sweaty clothes and tossed them on the washing machine. She hopped in on the shower, allowing the warm water to massage her muscles and to wash away the lingering hangover. Taking much less time than she usually did, Nicole was soon doing the zip of her uniform, attaching her utility belt to her waist and the small knife she carried around her ankle for safety. Waiting on her ride, the detective moved to pat Calamity for a little while, feeling guilty for not giving her much attention throughout the weekend and having chatted with her only to vent about her own situation.

“Hey there buddy. I’m sorry I was so busy this past couple of days, you know how messy it was” Nicole smile quickly faded as she noticed the cat’s reaction “Okay you need to stop with the judgmental eyes alright?” she rolled her eyes “I know this is not an alright situation but what do you want me to do?” The cat meowed uninterested “I told you what happened and I don’t know what to do but I know I’m going to talk to her, eventually. So will you please stop judging me?” She rolled her eyes as the cat moved away from her “Okay, rude!”

A car honked outside warning Nicole of her ride’s arrival and she hurried to get her coffee and a couple of snacks for the long day of work ahead of her. Mechanically, she typed in the password to the safe and collected her gun and badge, attaching them to her utility belt. Nicole picked her coat and hat from the hanger near the entrance and put on her boots before locking the door and leaving. The detective took a deep breath knowing that the day ahead of her would be very busy, but she was thankful to have something to occupy her mind with. The first thing on her very busy agenda was a debrief on the developments in the grave robbing case that she’d have to lead alongside Wynonna to the whole team, including the Captain. Nicole was tired and she knew that in addition to the already packed up day, she’d have to deal with her best friend and her killer curiosity. The car honked again and Nicole picked up her pace, she hated being late, even when it was to meet Wynonna, who didn’t seem to have any regard towards getting anywhere on time whatsoever. The detective saw her best friend tapping mindlessly on the steering wheel and her stomach twisted with the guilt she had tried so hard to suppress all weekend.

“Finally!” Wynonna said as she noticed her best friend approaching “I thought I’d have to break in and get you”  
“I’m literally five minutes late” Nicole sighed “And you’re never on time, how was I supposed to know today would be one of those rare exceptions?”  
“Waverly is an early bird” The Earp woman shrugged “But you’re never one to be late, I thought you had died or something”  
“I’m not quite sure I haven’t” Nicole laughed.  
“Are you still hangover?” Wynonna asked incredulously and Nicole simply nodded “Damn, what happened to you on Saturday?”  
“Your party happened, that’s what” Nicole turned on the radio in an attempt to distract herself.  
“Ah, yes” Wynonna said simply, turning her attention to the road. For a second, Nicole wondered if her best friend’s silence meant that she too was trying not to talk about something “Things got a little wild. But everyone had fun, right?” She asked hopefully.  
“You’re asking about your sister” Nicole said when it clicked to her.  
“Yes” she answered embarrassed “You’re better at picking up on subtle signs than I am, so maybe you got a vibe from her or something?” Wynonna asked tentatively “I don’t know. She said the night was lovely but I think she didn’t mean it, you know?”  
“Well Wyn, I don’t know your sister enough to weight on it” The redhead pointed out, choosing to hide the fact that she did know one side of Waverly.  
“I don’t really know her either Nicole” The Earp woman’s voice was low, as if she didn’t want the words to truly leave her lips “She’s my sister and I love her with all my heart but I can’t pretend to know her after all this time” The atmosphere got heavy inside the car. It was crystal clear how that statement, regardless of how true it was, weighted on Wynonna’s heart.  
“Ask her Wyn. If you don’t know, ask her. I’m sure your sister feels the same way about you” Nicole said as they stopped at a red light. She knew her best friend knew this was the answer to her problem, but it was a whole different thing to ask Wynonna Earp to actually talk about her feelings “But... I don’t think a huge party was the best way for you to reconnect with her. And as far as I know, you didn’t really spend much time with her at the party, right?” Wynonna simply shrugged “Why don’t you throw a game night next week? Just the Scooby gang and Waverly?” Nicole suggested.   
“That’s actually a good idea, I have a feeling she and Jeremy will hit it off pretty well” Wynonna smiled. For a little while, both women were content to simply listen to the radio, singing along to whatever song was playing at the time. However, the peace and quiet didn’t last long and soon enough Wynonna started talking again “What about you?” Her tone was suggestive.  
“What about me?” Nicole deflected trying to hold on to whatever she could to avoid that conversation.   
“I know you had fun on Saturday. You were completely worn out yesterday morning. Plus you had that “I had amazing sex” glow” Wynonna winked and Nicole twisted in her seat uncomfortably “So who was it?” Wynonna asked excitedly “It must have been with someone good, to get you that exhausted. So was it one of the new rookies? I hear they have some pretty ones” She suggested.   
“Wynonna I didn’t...” Nicole began “I haven’t even met them!”  
“Okay, so not a stranger, got it” Wynonna stopped for a little while she tried to guess the identity of Nicole’s mystery lady “Was it that Doctor again?” She pushed.  
“I haven’t seen her in ages Wynonna” The redhead sighed frustrated “I’m telling you I haven’t...”  
“Okay, good. Than is it someone I know?” Wynonna tried again.  
“Wynonna I just had a few drinks. There’s nothing else to say” Nicole tried to deflect again when her best friend gave her a chance to speak. But her vehement denial did not work in her favor and her best friend quickly picked up on her behavior.   
“Oh my god, I know her?” The Earp woman knew all of Nicole’s usual reactions and avoidance was a clear sign that she was holding back on something juicy.  
”Wynonna, no!” Nicole bolted out of the car as soon as her best friend parked in front of the precinct.  
“No use in running Haught stuff, I’m a detective and I will figure this one out” She heard Wynonna yelling from the driver seat as she walked towards the entrance.

Nicole breathed once the doors closed behind her. Maybe she wouldn’t be able to hide the truth for long, Wynonna was a great detective indeed and once she sat her mind to something there was pretty much no point in fighting it. She just hopped she would have figured it out a way to tell her before she found out. If she knew one thing, it was that it’s always much better to tell people stuff to their face. Not that Nicole thought it would help her case a lot. She once more pushed the thought aside, choosing to focus on the fact that it had been a meaningless one night stand that would not happen again. Hell, maybe she would actively avoid Waverly all together if that could make things less complicated. Less awkward. Once she managed to clear her mind of all thoughts of Waverly Earp, Nicole noticed that she was not the only one still nursing a hangover. On the outside everything looked normal on the precinct, however after years of working with those same people, the redhead had learned a few things about them. Especially how they functioned, or better yet, how they pretended to function after a huge party. Everyone was in uniform and in their desks doing their work, either it was filling up paperwork, answering calls or managing the reception. All was on track, expect they moved much slower, talked only when necessary and stayed far away from the doughnut tray in the kitchen. And, in Nicole’s humble opinion, the most evident sign of a widespread hangover was the extensive amount of used cups of coffee discarded in the trash.

Even though the common behavior seemed to have affected pretty much everyone, Nicole noticed in the corner of her eyes that Captain Nedley, Dolls and Eliza were the exceptions. They were in the Captain’s office having one of their closed doors meetings, which could only mean that something huge was definitely going on. It was not every day that you had a Captain, a Sergeant and a FBI agent have private meetings. In fact, the last time one of those had gone down, the whole precinct was on edge. It was a few weeks after the task force to bring down the current leader of the Revenant Gang had started and everyone was working hard to get fast results. The gang had been terrorizing the town for generations, and they had been filling the pockets of important people for enough time to make them basically untouchable. Enough to make its fame spread around the country, enough to get the FBI to send an agent to assist. Wynonna, Dolls and Doc had worked their connections within the gang and throughout town and finally got a big bust: an entire shipment of guns, ammunition and drugs. And the best part was that all of that was tied to the gang and their fierce leader, one Bobo Del Rey. Nevertheless the winning spirit shortly vanished when The Man walked free within twelve hours of his arrest and when, shortly after that, Fish and Levi, their inside men, appeared dead on the outskirts of the Ghost River triangle. It was then that they had fully understood what kind of man they were dealing with and how far his powers and influence truly extended.

Nicole gathered that this new meeting probably had something to do with the cemetery incident. They had come to learn that nothing happened in Purgatory without Bobo’s knowledge. So he must have had something to do with the violation of the former Mayor’s grave. She mentally went over the notes she had managed to prepare on the previous night to maybe try and figure out what was going on before she walked into the briefing room. Nicole had arrived at the cemetery alongside Jeremy and she had immediately noticed that only Mayor Clootie’s grave had been robbed. The robber had taken the body and left a footprint that Jeremy had collected to further analyze at his lab. However, Nicole knew from her own work outside of the task force and from her colleagues that, on the week prior to the crime, other five locations had been robbed and vandalized as well. Normally she wouldn’t have thought about taking a closer look at them, but her instincts pushed her to investigate them further. The list of locations and robbed or vandalized items also didn’t immediately present a link. A jewelry store had had a ring stolen. A bar had had a wall taken down. An old building complex had had its basement completely trashed. A church had been turned upside down and covered in cultist symbols. And, lastly, an abandoned mine had been broken into. Truly, when she analyzed all these events separately, they didn’t seem to have any connection, however, as Jeremy later informed her, in all of the locations he had encountered the same footprint. Nicole saw the csi entering his lab with a tray of coffee, which she assumed was a cure to his possible hangover, and decided to follow him to try and get any updates on his analysis of the evidence. After Saturday’s close call with the Captain, the last thing she needed was to appear unprepared. Especially if he was having a meeting with the other senior officers about her case.

“Jeremy” Nicole said as she entered the door “Can I talk to you for a second?” She noticed the dark marks under his eyes and sympathized.  
“Sure Nicole” He took a lazy sip of his coffee where he sat and pointed to the only other chair in his lab that wasn’t covered in forensics equipment.  
“So I wanted to talk to you about...” She began saying.  
“Wait!” interrupted Jeremy. The boy put his coffee on his desk and rolled his chair closer to the detective “Are you going to tell me about what happened at the party?” He said excitedly.  
“What happened at the party?” Nicole had no idea as to what he was talking about.  
“Oh c’mon” He smiled “Everyone knows!”  
“What on earth are you talking about Jeremy?” She wondered if she had something big, gossip worth at the party before a thought hit her making her feel completely stupid for not considering it sooner.   
“We all know Wynonna left with Doc and that Eliza left with Dolls” Jeremy said calmly “What we all wanna know is who did you leave with? ”  
“I... what... how” Nicole stumbled with her words “How do you know that?”  
“ Well first of all, one second you were talking to me and the next you vanished in thin air” He lifted his index finger to keep count of his reasons “Second, Wynonna told everyone that you slept with an unknown person and was being all mysterious about it” he lifted his middle finger “Lastly, I’m aware that I seem invisible but I know pretty much everything that happens here” He shrugged.  
“I really don’t know why Wynonna is so obsessed with this” Nicole noticed for the first time that she was more than simply annoyed with her best friend’s behavior “It wasn’t a big thing”  
“Nicole, the last time you magically disappeared at a party you ended up halfway across the country!” He pointed out her terrible record “And it sure was a big thing. So forgive us, your friends, for being cautious. And well, curious”  
“Fine” She conceded “I did sleep with someone but it was a one night thing” Nicole noticed his doubtful eyes and proceeded “I mean it”  
“Okay, then who is she?” He asked  
“I won’t tell you her name” Nicole said firmly “You guys really don’t need to know this. Plus, if I tell you who it was, Wynonna will eventually force you to give her the name and then it’ll be mayhem in here”  
“Okay, okay” He held his hand defensively knowing full well that he probably wouldn’t be able to the name from the Earp woman “But I will figure this out eventually, regardless of whether you tell me her name or not. And if you don’t want anyone else to know, I promise I’ll try to keep your secret” He smiled honestly “But what was it that you wanted to talk about?”  
“Sometimes I hate you and your radar Jeremy. I mean it” Nicole sighed “But I wanted to ask you a few things about those cases I brought you”

Nicole and Jeremy talked for a little while about the case. He hadn’t gotten much information off of the footprint, other than the fact that they were a size 10 and that they were male boots. So it was pretty much a dead end. However he had encountered bits of chewed Tabasco on three of the six locations and had then analyzed the DNA that had led him to one former priest that used to work on the vandalized church. Aside from that, they hadn’t found anything else. Nicole figured that it was enough to not make a fool of herself, one unlikely suspect was better than no suspects at all. And Wynonna had surely worked her sources to find something on the widows that connected them to the crimes. After she had visited them to discuss the grave robbing she had mentioned feeling like they were trying to hide something, mostly because whenever she had asked a direct question about the grave, Mayor Clootie of the revenants they had started bickering and ended up not answering it. But Mercedes and Beth’s family was known for having done some shade deals in the past to get their wealth, so Wynonna had thought that maybe they weren’t above following on their footsteps. Through Doc, Wynonna had a crucial source inside Bobo’s operation: a cook for his drug business that had always tried her best to help them bring the man down. Her name, if she properly recalled, was Rosita Bustillos.

Jeremy cursed himself for having drunk too much and Nicole had to hold back a laugh. The poor boy was two cups of coffee in and still barely looked alive. Nicole was glad that she somehow had managed to not be as bad as everyone else. They talked for a little longer before the detective decided to let the boy try to cure his hangover before they had to go to debriefing. She figured that she had managed to hide from Wynonna for long enough for her to drop her questioning and focus on her job. She knew her best friend had her best interest in mind, but it was not like she could tell an armed and hangovered Wynonna Earp that she had slept with her baby sister. Nor that she honestly felt like doing it again. Nicole smiled at the simple idea of feeling Waverly coming undone under her body once more. That smile seemed to be a constant whenever she thought about the younger Earp. Nicole shook her head to push those thoughts away and she moved to her desk. She started to work on the clues and on alternative approaches and surprisingly found Wynonna doing the same. The Earp woman had her ear buds on and her mouth full of doughnuts as she cleaned her gun, fondly named Peacemaker, and flipped through some folders. 

An hour later the entire task force was called in to the debriefing room. Nicole and Wynonna were asked to present their findings and their main theories and so they did. In addition to Nicole’s findings at the graveyard and Jeremy’s footprint, Wynonna presented the information she got from Rosita. Apparently, through the years, Bobo had had several meetings with Mayor Clootie and after his death, he started to meet with the Widows frequently. They still needed to figure out the content of those meetings and Wynonna was considering a new visit to the widows. She thought her friendship with Mercedes could get her an opening and that maybe she would be less reluctant to talk about her deceased husband. After their presentation, Captain Nedley informed them that the FBI had had its eyes on Juan Carlos, the old priest, for a while and that they had solid information that he was in the city. He also informed them that the team would be conducting a stake out on him for a week to try and gather more information. They would occupy an abandoned apartment across the street from his building and would work in pairs for two days each. The whole room went silent after that but it was Wynonna’s sad expression that caught Nicole’s eyes. The woman was never one to love stake outs, she was more of a “kick the front door open” kind of person. She hated sitting on her ass, as she had not so casually put one time and her reaction to actually having to do it was more often than not of annoyance. Therefore the spark of sadness that crossed her eyes was not a common occurrence and was somewhat worrisome. Nicole made a mental note to talk to her about it as soon as possible.

Nedley finished the debriefing and left to his office. The man looked exhausted as always but whatever peace he was hoping to find in the confines of his office quickly faded away as Wynonna followed him into the room. Nicole moved back to her desk and added to her calendar that she and Jeremy were replacing Wynonna and Dolls on Wednesday morning and would be relieved by them on Friday. She figured that if she was to spend two whole days in a small room with someone, Jeremy was a great company. He was a great chatter, had great music taste and always seemed to know when to shut up. Plus the boy was thorough and liked to keep meticulously organized and complete notes about everything. Which more often than not made their work much easier. And another much welcomed bonus was the fact that if she was to spend two days locked up with her best friend, she would not be able to avoid the “what did you do on Saturday” conversation. Nicole was completely absorbed in her own thoughts when Wynonna dropped the whole weight of her body on her best friend’s desk, immediately capturing her attention. 

“Um... excuse me?” Nicole said annoyed before noticing the defeated expression on her best friend’s face “Is everything okay?”  
“No” Wynonna mumbled “I hate this stake out thing” she sounded irritated, however after years of being friends with her, Nicole knew that wasn’t the end of it so she decided to push a little more.   
“But it’s with Dolls so that’s gotta worth something” she tried. Maybe his company would make her happy.  
“I don’t really care. I had other plans tonight” Wynonna practically pouted.   
“And those plans were with...” The redhead tried to read her expression before guessing “Doc?”  
“No, Doc and I are not a thing anymore” She said matter of factly.  
“Didn’t you ditch your own party with him?” Nicole wondered. It was not easy to keep up with her best friend and those two. Wynonna loved both of them, but she always seemed to be breaking up with one in favor of the other.   
“I did and that was it. No fuss” Wynonna shrugged “But no, I had plans with Waverly”  
“Oh” Nicole said surprised, she still needed to get used to the new person on her best friend’s life.  
“Yeah, after our talk this morning I figured we could do something chill you know? So I texted her and asked if she was up for a homemade dinner and she was more than happy with it” Wynonna smiled “Quality family time”  
“Have you learned how to cook?” The redhead asked curiously.  
“Of course not. But Waves is a great cook” The Earp woman said proudly.  
“Of course” Nicole rolled her eyes. Of course the beautiful, confident, intelligent and sexy woman would know how to cook. It was just Nicole’s luck.  
“Anyway, I can’t do it tonight and I feel like I’d let her down again” Wynonna sighed “This sucks. I’m really trying”  
“I’m sorry” Nicole said sympathetically “I figured that’s what you tried to talk to the Captain about?”  
“Yes. No luck here” Wynonna went silent, contemplating the conversation and her options. After a little while her eyes lit up excitedly “Wait, you can do it, can’t you?”  
“I could do what?” Nicole asked confused “Talk to the Captain on your behalf? I don’t think he’s prone to changing his decision on that”  
“No, not that. You could have dinner with Waverly in my place” The Earp woman smiled proudly “She seemed to click with you and a familiar face would be nice. At least it’s way better than simply leaving her alone tonight”  
“Wait, did she say anything about me?” Nicole felt the butterflies on her stomach getting restless.   
“Not really, she was quite tired at breakfast but she couldn’t stop giggling after you left so I figured you charmed her” Wynonna said obliviously “Anyway, I’ll owe you big time if you do it”  
“I...” Nicole considered her options trying to find a way to deny her best friend this.   
“Please! I can’t disappoint my sister again” Wynonna pleaded.   
“I... I suppose I can ask Doc to check on Calamity Jane” Nicole conceded.   
“Great! Thank you so much Haught stuff” Wynonna smiled. With a pet on Nicole’s shoulder she jumped out of the desk and started to walk away.

Nicole knew that a dinner with Waverly was a terrible idea. She would go to the Earp’s house, eat homemade food and spend some “quality time” with Waverly. Alone. Probably going over everything that happened at the party in her mind. It was most certainly a terrible idea to which Nicole had said yes. She had quickly thought about it, but if the detective was being honest, she didn’t mind it one bit. As dangerous as it was, that dinner was a chance for her to see Waverly again. And that was something Nicole hated wanting. The detective made a mental note not to drink any alcohol, the last thing she needed was to have her inhibitions low. Waverly was sweet, beautiful, clever and talented enough to take Nicole’s guards down on her own. She did not need any help in making it even easier. She wondered if it was too late to back down but as she moved to open her mouth she heard her best friend speaking again.

“Oh, one more thing” Wynonna clicked her fingers as she remembered something “You don’t mind sleeping with Waverly do you?”  
“Oh god”


	4. Hungry eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is, wayhaught’s date-not-date. I got too carried away with this chapter and I had to split it in two, the other half should be up soon.   
> One little detail, this is my first time uploading from my mobile so please forgive any weirdness on this upload.   
> As per usual, I look forward to hearing your thoughts, opinions and hopes for future chapters. My tumblr is also open if y’all want to chat.   
> Also, thanks to my amazing beta!

The redhead detective left the stake out apartment a little earlier than initially planned. She left a grumpy Wynonna to be dealt with by Sergeant Dolls, who seemed just as excited about her partner’s mood as everyone else on the ride there. They had gotten in using a cleaning service van and their presence would go completely unnoticed on the busy downtown building. And that was something Nicole was definitely thankful for. The last thing she needed was to spend her time trying to figure out a good cover story, especially when she already had so much on her mind. She was, however, much less grateful for the smell inside the rental van. 

Nicole figured that with the time they saved by doing a quick job with the delivery of surveillance material and personnel that she’d have more than enough time to shower and change at home. Maybe even stop on her way to grab something for the dinner. A good wine was the first option but she reluctantly shut it down. The detective decided then to get only two bowls of tomato soup from her favorite restaurant near the station. Wynonna said Waverly liked to exercise and Nicole could attest to the amount of care the woman put on her body. So a soup would be a great and healthy entree and she wouldn’t risk ruining whatever meal the younger Earp had spent all afternoon preparing. 

At home, Nicole took out her stinky cleaner’s uniform and got her usual ones out of her gym bag she had taken to work and threw both of them inside the washing machine. Deciding to care to that later on. She picked up a few things for Calamity Jane and put them in a traveling bag to give Doc when he arrived. She also picked up a clean uniform from her closet and a couple of her belongings for her stay at the Earp’s house. She didn’t need to gather a lot of stuff, since kept a few essentials in there for when she needed to sleep at the house without previous planning. 

The detective hopped in the shower, allowing the hot water to ease the tension from her busy day away. She closed her eyes feeling drops of water running down her skin and calming her mind and body. Nicole noticed the small trembling of her hands and wondered when anxiety had taken control of her. She had no reason to be anxious, she was going to dinner at a friend’s house. Much like she had done millions of times before. Except she wasn’t. She sighed and turned off the shower, deciding she wouldn’t find relief in there. She covered her body with a robe and wrapped her wet hair in a towel before checking herself in the mirror. The first thing she noticed was that she looked tired. But behind the first look she could see clearly the nerves starting to build up again. Huffing annoyedly she decided to ignore her fast breathing and tense body and just get ready as fast as possible. 

Nicole looked in the mirror one more time. The outfit looked okay, much like all the others had. But okay wouldn’t make her happy, so Nicole tossed yet another shirt on the discarded pile on top of her bed. The detective had her bed divided in two sections, one consisting of her entire wardrobe and the other consisting of the rejected options. The more she checked herself in the mirror, the more those sections started to converge into one. She had tried on various combinations of different types, colors, fabrics and patterns. She had tried on jeans with plaids, jeans with graphic tees, shorts with graphic tees, shorts with plaids, summer dresses, dinner dresses, casual dresses. Nicole had tried hard, but no option seemed enough to satisfy her. She aimed for an impossible outfit. One that made her look hot as hell so Waverly would inevitably want to rip her clothes off while at the same time one that screamed “you’re my best friend’s little sister and I shouldn’t have slept with you so we should just be friends”. An outfit good enough to make Waverly want something she couldn’t exactly have. Just enough. 

Nicole wouldn’t get involved with the younger woman, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t try to tease her if the opportunity presented itself. A small smiled appeared in the corner of her lips as she imagined the woman turning red with embarrassment. Nicole had been on the receiving end of Waverly’s teasing so she knew what the Earp woman was capable of doing. The detective just wanted to at least try and play that same game. Nicole got pulled out of her fantasizing by the doorbell ringing. Realizing that with her indecision she was half naked, the detective picked up the first thing she could grab out of the discarded pile and pulled it over her head. She figured she would have time to return to her indecisiveness and half nakedness after she dealt with her guest. 

“Nicole” The man tipped on his hat as an extended greeting.   
“Hey Doc!” She said warmly “Thank you for coming on such a short notice but Wynonna asked me to do her a favor...”  
“And it’s not like we can say no to her, am I right?” He joked but only half a smile appeared on his lips.   
“Some of us have an even harder time saying no to her” Nicole winked. Truth was she knew Doc loved Wynonna and that she most likely loved him back somehow. And he knew it too. He knew he maybe held part of Wynonna’s heart and that it was all he could ever aim for.   
“Surely” Doc said sadly “Wasn’t there a lady I was supposed to escort tonight?” He said changing the subject quickly.   
“Yes of course!” Nicole opened the door so he could get in while she looked for the cat and her bag “She’s been in a mood lately, I haven’t been able to pay much attention to her”.  
“Oh it’s alright” Doc picked up the cat “I reckon I’ve never had a problem getting her in a good mood before”.  
“With extra food” Nicole pointed out.   
“With extra food” He nodded happily “This cat of yours doesn’t really like man so I had to do something to win her over”.  
“Alright alright, it’s not like you’re the first one to use this strategy with her anyway” Nicole sighed “But are you sure you don’t mind?”  
“Not one bit” He sat on the couch and Calamity cuddled up in his lap.   
“Nice. So I’ve picked up a few things for her, mostly food and everything is in there so you shouldn’t have a problem” Nicole said pointing towards the bag near the entrance.   
“Excellent” He smiled warmly “I reckon you’re going to have dinner with little Waverly Earp?” Nicole nodded her response “So you’re getting close to her?”  
“Yes” Nicole confirmed but upon seeing the questioning look on his face she continued “Wynonna wants me to. Plus, she didn’t want to cancel her plans so she figured I was the next best thing and it’s not like I had any plans” she tried to sound casual despite her anxiety.   
“Of course” Doc said simply and Nicole was thankful that he didn’t try to extend the conversation “Well I should leave you to it then, after all it’s a little drive to the Earp’s house” He got up and moved to the door.   
“I’m used to it by now” She smiled.   
“Alright then. I’ll take good care of Miss Calamity Jane here and I’ll return her to you tomorrow” He tipped his hat once again.   
“If I’m not here yet just use the spare key under the mat” She tried to mimic his action only to remember she was not wearing her stetson.   
“And Miss Haught” He said without turning back “This outfit suits you”.

Blushing, Nicole quickly moved back to her bedroom to check herself in the mirror once more. Her red hair cascaded down her shoulders. Her initial plan was to dry it and then tie it in a lazy bun that would give her an unpretentious look. But she figured that letting her hair dry naturally would do the trick as well and compliment her outfit perfectly. She had on very little make up, just enough to shape her lips and highlight her eyes. After meticulously picking on every single outfit, Nicole had mindlessly picked black jeans and an old converse that she always wore when she aimed for casual. None of those things were other than ordinary, they were pieces people wore for comfort and practicality on their day to day lives. 

However the piece that really completed her look and made it all wow worthy was the shirt she had so quickly picked to cover her naked torso. She wore a plaid button up shirt that she had gotten as a birthday gift from Doc. The shirt was simply perfect for what she was trying to achieve with that outfit. It was tight enough to bring out her muscles, it had enough cleavage so her breast would catch her companion’s eyes and it still somehow managed to look effortlessly casual. She remembered Wynonna accurately saying it was red like her hair and bold like her personality after a few tequila shots. Nicole smiled with her accidental accomplishment. It was exactly the impossible outfit she was stressing over. She added a thin and delicate necklace that fell down her neck and into the valley of her breasts and decided she was ready to go. As she got in her car Nicole noticed once more that she was truly anxious about what the night held for her and about how she would deal with it. 

The detective decided not to take the shorter path she usually took to get to the Earp’s house. It was a great option when she had to give Wynonna a ride to work or when she had to attend to her drunk friend at two in the morning. But it was a terrible choice when the butterfly in her stomach kept twisting and turning violently. As planned, she made a quick stop on the way to grab the soup and, against her better judgment, she decided to grab a small bottle of wine hoping that it would take a little of the edge off more than it would lower her inhibitions. As she inevitably found herself in the Earp’s house driveway Nicole decided to push her worries away and reminded herself that she was doing a favor for Wynonna. 

The detective got out of the car and knocked on the door but no one came. Standing alone uncomfortably in front of the unanswered door, Nicole cursed her best friend for not getting her doorbell fixed. She knocked once more and when no one came again the detective went looking for the spare key her best friend had given her. Nicole pushed the door open and made her way to the kitchen where she put the soup and the wine and was about to make her presence known when Waverly appeared with a towel poorly wrapped around her still wet body. 

“Nicole?” She said surprised.   
“Yeah... um” Nicole mumbled “Hi”.   
“I thought you were Wynonna” Waverly said.   
“She’s on a stake out and asked me to replace her tonight. Didn’t she tell you?” Nicole thought it was typical of her best friend to leave her to deal with this.   
“She did not” Waverly’s features were ambiguous. Her lips curled up in a small disappointed frown but her eyes had a slightly mischievous glow and Nicole wondered if she truly did not know “But I’m glad you’re here, you’re good company detective Haught” to make matters even more confusing, the detective noticed a hint of nerves on the smaller woman’s tone.   
“Thank you” Nicole smiled.   
“Did you knock?” Waverly asked blatantly.   
“I did. A couple of times actually” the detective pointed out “But it’s alright”.  
“I’m so sorry”. The nerves that Nicole had detected appeared once more and the detective wondered if she had somehow managed to not be the flustered one that time around “I didn’t hear you knocking. I was showering and I didn’t hear you. And you were out there in the cold!” Waverly blabbed and the detective smile grew wider.   
“You needn’t worry” Nicole stopped her nervous monologue “ I have a key”.  
“Oh” The Earp woman nodded “Of course you do” she said and once more Nicole couldn’t quite read her.  
“Wyn gave it to me in case of emergencies or in case she ignored her alarm and was about to miss work” Nicole explained.   
“It’s alright” Waverly passed her hand through her hair and seemed to immediately remember that she had just left the shower “I’m sorry I’m nearly naked, this is no way to greet a guest”.  
“It’s not a problem” The detective smiled “Really”.   
“Okay then” Waverly blushed “Make yourself comfortable and I’ll be right back. You know, put clothes on” she pointed to the towel.  
“Is there anything I can do help with dinner?” Nicole asked before Waverly reached the stairs.   
“You could cut a handful of asparagus and carrots if you don’t mind” Waverly said without turning back. 

As Waverly made her way up the stairs, Nicole watched her. Her privileged position by the side of the stairs allowed her a complete view of the woman’s silhouette. She had wrapped the towel loosely around her torso, probably because she didn’t expect to run into anyone other than her sister. The small noose that kept the towel in place casually stood in between the top of her breasts and the edges allowed a sneak peek of her left leg. Little drops of water travelled through the exposed skin as she made her way up, falling directly into the wooden surface and causing Nicole’s mouth to dry out. Waverly’s long hair left wet spots on the towel as it moved from right to left in a analogously to the woman’s hips as she climbed each step. Nicole observed the remaining drops of water wetting the towel with a bit of envy for her fingers tingled as she vividly remembered the exact feeling of running her fingertips through Waverly’s naked body. The younger Earp walked away and the detective was left alone, lingering to the memories of their affair.

Nicole bit on her lower lip as she stared into the empty staircase and contemplated giving into her desire. Sighing for what felt like the millionth time that day, the detective moved to the kitchen to try and find anything to distract herself. She washed her hands in the sink and threw some cold water on her face to help her cool down. Taking a few deep breaths, Nicole tried to figure out where Wynonna kept her cutting board and every other kitchen utensil. She had been in the Earp’s house many times before, for parties, for beers after a long day at work and for moral support when her best friend was too drunk to function. But in the five years she’d been best friends with Wynonna Earp, she had never participated in a cook out at the woman’s house. 

On her first year in the force, Wynonna offered a home cooked dinner for a few colleagues and all of them missed two days of work in account of a terrible food poisoning. After that moment, Wynonna became a faithful customer to many take out restaurants. Using every ounce of knowledge she had of the woman’s kitchen, Nicole managed to find the tools she needed with just a bit of fuss. The detective picked a handful of carrots and asparagus from the fridge and she began working on her assignment. She forced her trembling hands to adjust the cutting board on the quartz countertop and started to cut the vegetable as requested. As the knife moved up and down, Nicole started to feel more in control of her own body, the repetition pulling her focus to the task at hand more and more with every new slice. 

Nicole was completely absorbed in her own little world to hear the low crack of the wooden staircase announcing the presence of the other woman. She was more than halfway done with the carrots when Waverly reached the kitchen. Her sole focus was on the vegetables, the sharp knife and the cutting board. Nicole was so preoccupied with getting Waverly out of her head that she didn’t notice her approach at first. She didn’t notice it when strong arms swiftly made their way between hers nor when soft hand rested on the countertops just mere inches away from hers. She didn’t notice how the atmosphere of the room shifted and how close she was to the woman behind her. Not at first. But as a warm breathing hit the back of her neck, Nicole felt every little thing around her. She was hyper aware of those strong arms softly pushing her towards the cold quartz and of the knuckles of those soft hands turning white with the strength they held onto the surface. The detective felt how the atmosphere got heavier and she felt a shiver going down her body as the breathing got closer to her ear. But more than anything else, Nicole felt the proximity of her body to Waverly’s. She tried hard to focus on cutting the carrots but she had to try even harder to keep breathing as Waverly’s spoke to in her ear. 

“I see you’re talented with your hands detective Haught” Waverly whispered causing Nicole to freeze in place “These are great”.   
“I... hum” Nicole tried to talk “I didn’t know what you were planning on doing with the vegetables so I just sliced it into medium pieces”.  
“That’s great” Waverly laughed at the flustered detective “I’m making roasted salmon and stir fried vegetables” she didn’t miss her chance, as she casually mentioned the menu, one of her hands moved to rest on the detective’s hip.  
“That’s nice” Nicole said in a high pitched tone “I mean” she tried again “that’s nice”.  
“I’m glad you like it” The Brunette smiled “But you need to finish those if you want to eat it”.   
“What?” The detective’s breathing picked up with Waverly’s gently squeezing her hip.   
“The vegetables” She pointed out “You stopped slicing it”.  
“Oh” Nicole tried to handle the knife but her hands shook “You’re making it very hard to focus on doing that Waverly”.  
“I’m sorry” she faked remorse, her lips to Nicole’s ear “But it’s not like you don’t like it”.  
“I...” The detective tried to find a good comeback but came empty.   
“It’s alright detective, I’ll leave you to your devices for now” She giggled “wouldn’t want you to hurt your talented fingers” she winked and moved away from the redhead.   
“Right” Nicole shook her head to try and focus on anything other than missing the other woman’s touch “I didn’t know what you were doing so I brought a bit of tomato soup. And some wine”.  
“That’s great” Waverly said “I’m going to put on some music and heat up the soup. Once you’re done with the vegetables you can pour us some wine, sit back and relax”.  
“That sounds like a good plan”. 

Nicole tilted her head down and smiled. Whatever plans she had managed to make in the few hours between Wynonna setting her up to a date-not-a-date with Waverly had been completely erased the second she walked in the Earp’s house and laid eyes on a barely dressed Waverly. The woman was something else entirely. She was the first person that had managed to completely throw the detective off her game. And she did so seemingly without even trying. Nicole wondered if it was who Waverly Earp was or if it was Waverly’s effect on her. She wondered if the Earp woman had a talent for taking down people’s defenses while making them feel protected. She wondered if the brunette had picked up along the way the ability to tease so sensually yet so sweetly. The detective, who had early in life learned to distrust people, wondered if she could allow herself to be read so easily by Waverly. Nicole wondered if she should. 

The detective finished slicing the vegetables as Waverly seemed to set her mind on a song and surely a few seconds after, the first notes emanated from the speaker. Nicole put the now sliced carrots and asparagus in a bowl and cleaned after herself before venturing once more into the mystery that was the Earp’s kitchen cabinets. Finding two relatively adequate glasses she poured herself and Waverly a bit of wine before following the brunette’s suggestion and relaxing. Or at least trying to. Sitting on the counter, Nicole watched Waverly move around the room collecting every ingredient and tool she needed for their dinner. While mindlessly humming to the song she had chosen, Waverly poured the tomato soup into a pan and roughly cut a few slices of bread to go with it. Coming the chorus, the woman picked up the spoon she was using and started to use it as a microphone. Singing to the top of her lungs and dripping tomato soup all around the kitchen the Earp woman once more enticed Nicole without trying too hard. Waverly finished her performance and bowed, eliciting an eye roll from the detective. The Earp woman laughed and Nicole felt her heart speeding up. Something she seemed to do quite frequently whenever Waverly was involved. 

Nicole took a sip of her wine. As she welcomed the sweet taste, she wondered how it was possible to feel so at ease and so terrible at the same time. She could remember easily the day she saw inside her best friend’s eyes the guilt. Wynonna had always abstained from discussing her family, something Nicole could relate and respect, but a couple of weeks before Waverly’s arrival she had talked about her little sister. She had talked about Waverly’s teary eyes as she packed up her bags and left London and of how she had destroyed her relationship with her sister while she tried to protect her from the mess and chaos that was the Earp family. On that day, Wynonna had confessed that she would give everything to rekindle with Waverly and she had vowed to give everything she had to not let anyone or anything get in the way of her relationship with her sister again. Nicole remembered the sadness and decisiveness in Wynonna’s eyes and she remembered promising to do whatever she could to help her best friend. After their breakfast on Sunday, Nicole had decided that the best way she could help Wynonna to solve her problems with her sister was by not becoming a problem herself. But Nicole couldn’t deny the butterflies in her stomach whenever she thought back to the party. And she couldn’t deny the power Waverly had on her nor how she could make her smile with the littlest things. 

“Nicole” Waverly half yelled, pulling the woman out of her contradictory thoughts “Earth to Nicole”.   
“Hi” She blushed “I’m sorry”.   
“Where did you go?” Waverly asked sweetly “Thought I had lost you”.   
“No, I’m here. I’m here” Nicole said “I’m sorry, I was just thinking”.   
“Do you wanna talk about it?” The Earp woman asked in a preoccupied tone “Your face did this whole journey and it seemed that you maybe need to speak about it”.   
“Thank you” Nicole smiled “But it’s alright, it’s nothing really”.   
“If you say so” Waverly walked to the stove and bit a piece of carrot, nodding satisfied “Dinner is ready!”  
“I didn’t know you could sing” Nicole pointed out as she hopped off the counter.   
“Oh, so your eye roll was an approving sign?” Waverly teased earning yet another eye roll “My uncle taught me how. I tried to learn piano as well but I’m not any good at it” she continued.   
“You’re good” Nicole said and Waverly smiled shyly “plus I think the kitchen was due a remodeling” she pointed to the drops of tomato soup scattered around the floor “It was a good performance”.   
“I thought so too. And I thought you’d like a complete show you know? For you, the best” Waverly said nonchalantly. She cut a small piece of the roasted salmon and offered it to the detective who accepted eagerly.   
“Oh my god” Nicole half spoke and half moaned “This is absolutely fantastic”.   
“Thank you” Waverly said and the detective noticed her cheek’s turning red at the compliment.   
“No, thank you. This is the best salmon I’ve ever had” Nicole said.   
“You’re welcome then” the Earp woman smiled “Shall we eat?”  
“Yes please!” The detective said excitedly. 

Nicole accepted the plate from Waverly’s hand and sat at the small white table in the kitchen. They ate in a comfortable silence but every now and again Nicole would catch Waverly glancing at her and she would catch the detective doing the very same. It was almost like a game they couldn’t get out of. To Nicole, looking at Waverly was almost magnetic, the woman drew her in effortlessly. Whether it was a glance that Waverly would pick up quickly or it was a long one in which she would have time to regard her, Nicole realized that the moment their eyes locked, they would both turn crimson. She noticed that regardless of how confident the Earp woman was, she was the one to to blush the more time they spent together. She wondered if part of that confidence came from Waverly thinking Nicole would be a one night stand, someone that she wouldn’t have around in her life. Nicole had seen it at the party, that Waverly’s eyes hid a lot of sadness. And she wondered if Waverly too was afraid to let someone in. 

They locked eyes and Nicole noticed Waverly searching for something deep inside hers. She wondered if the brunette was trying to read her and figure out all those things she had always tried so hard to leave behind. Maybe she was. But Nicole realized that Waverly looked for permission. They had finished dinner and the comfortable silence was getting heavier with built up tension. All the unpretentious teasing, the longing looks and the easy smiles were making it exponentially harder to ignore the elephant in the room. They were alone and they could have each other if they wanted to. And they did. Nicole watched Waverly’s tongue wetting her lower lip and she wanted to throw the dirty dishes on the floor and take the woman right there. On top of that small white table. She could feel her lower abdomen tightening with the prospect. And Nicole could see Waverly pressing her legs together harder. Waverly kept looking inside the detective’s eyes, but Nicole knew she would find crippling doubt in there. She swallowed hard waiting for the woman to protest or to insist, but when she looked at Waverly she found only understanding. She wanted to. Nicole wanted Waverly badly, but she knew she couldn’t. 

“So...” Waverly begun “tell me something Nicole, how did you end up here?”.   
“Here?” Nicole asked confused.   
“Yes. In Purgatory” Waverly completed.   
“What makes you think I ended up in here?” The detective asked curiously.   
“For one this isn’t that big of a town and if you were from here I’m sure I would’ve noticed you at some point” she smiled “and no one really chooses Purgatory”.   
“You did” she pointed out “I mean you had a good life in London but you came all the way here for a job”.   
“Sort of” Waverly said, earning an inquisitive look from the redhead “I applied for a lot of universities and I’m just here for an interview”.   
“So you’re not planning on staying?” Nicole asked seriously, already picturing her best friend’s disappointment with that.   
“It’s not that simple” Waverly tried to justify.   
“How so?” The detective pushed.   
“I’m a historian and I specialized in crime. I like to study how a long history of crime changes a society” The Earp woman said.   
“That actually sounds very interesting” Nicole said honestly.   
“Really?” Waverly asked surprised. That wasn’t a common reaction when she talked about her job.   
“Yeah” Nicole nodded.   
“I think so too as well. But anyway, as you probably know Purgatory has a long lasting history of crime with the Del Rey family and I wrote my thesis about this. So working here would give me a lot of opportunity to further my research” She explained.   
“But...” the detective tried.   
“This place has some terrible memories attached to it” The brunette said simply. Nicole had always known something terrible had happened to the Earp’s and it seemed like the whole town knew it too. But she’d always chosen to give people their privacy and if they ever wanted to tell her, it would be their choice. This time wouldn’t be different.  
“Maybe you can create new memories here that can replace the bad ones” Nicole smiled sadly.   
“I’m sure I could” Waverly said looking deeply inside Nicole’s eyes.


	5. Talk Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter begins to give you guys some insight on their past and their present.   
> Plus, a little flashback.  
> I hope you guys like this chapter! I can't wait to see what you think of this chapter and the direction i'm going with this story. So, as per usual, feel free to comment, to send your thoughts, opinions and hopes either in here or on my tumblr.  
> Enjoy!
> 
> P.S.: Thank you so much to my beta for not only helping me with the grammar and stuff but also for giving me so much support with this story! You rule mate.

Nicole watched Waverly attentively. She had seen sadness and trauma in her eyes from the first time she had laid eyes on her. That alone should’ve been an indicative that she was an Earp, for Wynonna too did everything in her power to masquerade the hurt that weighed her heart and saddened her eyes. They smiled and laughed wholeheartedly, but it seemed to appear eventually, when the laughter ceased. A lingering darkness in the corner of their lips. Wynonna’s darkness was her guilt while Waverly’s was something more complex. It was guilt as well, but it was powerlessness and it was anger. Nicole noticed how bits of Waverly had been shaped by those feelings. The woman happily and easily pulled people in, with her charm, with her smile, with her personality. Yet, the more she pulled them in, the harder she tried to hide the cracks in her heart. It was longing to come home while dreading to face the ghosts that inhabited the walls. 

Nicole wanted to throw caution out the window and run to her. She wanted to do whatever she could to ease those feelings so familiar to her own self. But she couldn’t because it wasn’t her feelings and her past, it was Waverly’s. Whatever guilt, anger and powerlessness the woman felt, she needed to deal with it herself, on her time and the way it better suited her. She was entitled to it and she needed it to truly heal. Nevertheless, Nicole wanted to tell her that experience had taught her that running wasn’t the way to fix anything. Running only postponed the inevitable. But she didn’t say anything, it wasn’t her place to. And if Waverly was anything like Wynonna, she’d much rather make believe than face whatever anguished her heart. Instead, the detective quietly hoped that the spark of optimism she had seen in Waverly’s eyes would be enough to make her give Purgatory a second chance. 

“Nicole, you’re staring at me again” Waverly broke the silence.   
“I’m sorry” Nicole mumbled embarrassed.   
“If you’re thinking of ways to get me naked and sweaty I’m all game” she winked “but if you have anything you want to ask, just do it”.   
“So getting you naked and sweaty is that easy?” The detective joked, earning a slight shove from the other woman. “I’m just kidding”.   
“You’ve got jokes now Nicole?” She raised an eyebrow defiantly.   
“I’ll let you know I’ve got a couple of tricks up my sleeve” the redhead flirted.   
“Of course you do” Waverly giggled “but seriously, where did you go?”  
“I was just thinking” the detective smiled.   
“Anything interesting?” Waverly tried.   
“Yes” Nicole said simply, earning an excited yet questioning look from Waverly.  
“Okay, you win” The Earp woman said in a defeated tone when the redhead refused to further her explanation. “I was thinking about something as well” Waverly said with an evil tone.   
“And what were you thinking about Waverly Earp?” Nicole decided to play along.   
“You’ve already got a key to my house” she began “That’s a very interesting development”.   
“Is it now?” She giggled.   
“Oh yes” Waverly smiled “the next logical development in our relationship would be you asking me to marry you” she said casually.   
“Oh you wish Waverly” Nicole laughed but couldn’t help the blush that colored her cheeks.

Waverly might’ve been joking but Nicole swallowed hard. She remembered a conversation she had with her brother soon after they left their parents’ house. Nathan had told her to never stop looking for someone that made her heart beat faster, for someone that made her breathing pick up, for someone that challenged her to be her best self, for someone that saw in her everything she saw in them. She didn’t know exactly why those words came to mind at Waverly’s remark, but once there, Nicole didn’t know how to stop thinking about it. She had noticed how well they clicked when their tongues fought for dominance and she had noticed it when their tired bodies cuddled in the dark tree house. And she noticed their compatibility as Waverly laughed at her own joke. It was simple but effective, an unpretentious gag that riled Nicole up. Planting a large smile to her lips and accelerating her already erratic heartbeat. 

Nicole was thankful for Waverly’s ability to transition between topics and situations effortlessly. They could be trading flirtatious remarks one second and talking about the secrets of the universe the next. And Nicole would gladly talk about any and everything with her. Mere seconds earlier and she was thinking about her hurt and how they matched even on it and with a couple of words Waverly had left her at ease. And more than that, the Earp had made it so Nicole’s ghosts didn’t look so scary. She thought that maybe it was the fact that Waverly could understand her and could, unfortunately, relate to her. So Nicole smiled shyly, choosing to embrace the light mood. Choosing to allow Waverly to pick her brain and look behind the curtains if she wished to do so. 

“This is the second time I catch you drifting off somewhere else” Waverly started “are you sure you don’t want to talk?” She offered a sympathetic smile.   
“I was just thinking about something you said earlier” the detective began “but it sounded personal and I wouldn’t want to pry”.   
“I’m sure it wouldn’t be prying, and we are here to get to know each other better” she giggled softly “As a matter of fact, I have an idea that could help us do just that”.   
“And what would that be?” Nicole asked curiously.  
“I could ask you three questions, to which you’d offer me genuine answers. Then you’d ask me three questions and I’d have to be just as honest” Waverly suggested.   
“Okay, I suppose this is a great way for us to know one another” Nicole smiled.   
“I start” The Earp woman said excitedly “I mean, I have already asked you this and you haven’t answered it yet” she said, earning a questioning look from the redhead “How did you end up in Purgatory?”  
“I was top of my class at the academy and I got to choose where I wanted to work” Nicole shrugged.   
“And you chose Purgatory out of all the other places you could pick?” Waverly asked skeptically.   
“Well it was the furthest place from home” the detective said with more anger in her tone than she would’ve liked “So I had to pick Purgatory”.   
“Complicated family?” The Earp woman asked.   
“Is that your second question?” Nicole questioned, earning a nod from the other woman “No, not really. I have one amazing brother, Nathan. He’s the only family that matters now”.   
“Okay” Waverly said understandingly.   
“I guess your next question will be about the rest of them” The detective said without looking at the woman in front of her.   
“Do you want to talk about them?” She asked.   
“No” Nicole answered quickly.   
“Then no”. 

Nicole smiled shyly. She had been feeling the tightening in her heart that often came with talking about her family and despite her earlier openness to talk about this particular subject, Nicole found it hard to keep stoic about them. So she looked inside Waverly’s eyes to try and find that calming sensation that took over her whenever she did so. She found that and so much more. Nicole noticed the respect and the understanding inside Waverly’s eyes and her heart started aching for something different. Her breathing picking up not from anger but from something else entirely.

The detective moved away from the table and took the dishes with her. She put the dirty dishes in the sink and opened the tap, letting water flow through them for a while so she could clean them before bed. She mechanically did those things while attempting to control the turmoil inside her mind. Deciding that she was far from being drunk, Nicole grabbed a bottle of wine from Wynonna’s cabinet. She figured two bottles wouldn’t harm her or obliterate completely every ounce of her self-control, all she needed was a little distraction to let loose. Nicole acknowledged that it was the second time that day she had used that same excuse to grab some alcohol. She was thankful that, even if she tried to use it a third time she would come empty. Nicole knew that Wynonna wouldn’t have more than one bottle of wine in her bar. She was a whiskey or tequila kind of girl, anything she could drink fast and get drunk even faster. Satisfied with a controlling mechanism to her uncontrollable urge to unbind, Nicole walked back to the couch where she refilled Waverly’s glass and welcomed the comfortable silence that settled between them. 

Nicole closed her eyes and sipped on her wine. This one was much fruitier than the previous bottle but it still was a good pick. It smelled of raspberries and strawberries and the detective was certain she had been the one to leave that bottle at the Earp’s residence at some point. It truly didn’t seem like something Wynonna Earp would willingly purchase. Her palate journey was cut short when the woman sitting next to her caught her attention. She felt Waverly shifting on the couch tirelessly but chose to ignore the movements next to her. It was only when she felt hands on her collarbone that she opened her eyes. Nicole looked at a flustered Waverly with trembling hands unbuttoning the first button of her shirt and she knew she should stop her. Instead, the detective closed her eyes and sipped on her wine once more. She was aroused and wanted to know what Waverly’s intentions were. Nicole was curious, interested and honestly turned on. 

She had managed to hold herself together all through dinner preparation and through all the sexed up eyes the Earp woman gave her. But at that point, Nicole didn’t think she’d mind if Waverly slowly unbuttoned every single button of her red plaid. Or if her lips accompanied her fingers as they undid her shirt. Or if Waverly’s skilled wine stained lips claimed hers with the same passion she had displayed on their first time. Nicole thought she wouldn’t mind if Waverly had every intention of taking her right there, on her best friend’s couch, while she drank her best friend’s wine. Nicole wouldn’t mind if Waverly did just that. But she never did. Instead, the detective felt careful fingers trailing silly patterns on her left shoulder. 

“Can I ask you about this?” Waverly said warily.   
“The scar?” Nicole asked even though she already knew the answer.   
“Yes” the Earp woman kept her eyes glued to the redhead to try and get a read on her “it looks serious”.   
“It was” the detective said unembellishedly “had it been a few inches down and it would’ve been fatal” Nicole tried to sound unfazed although the memory of that night still haunted her.   
“Except for Uncle Curtis and Gus and a few select individuals, my entire family is or was in the police business” Waverly said, allowing the detective a small glimpse at the Earp’s story “So I’ve heard stories of wounds like this”.   
“Close calls?” Nicole asked.   
“Yes” Waverly nodded “what you do is dangerous, especially here in Purgatory” she stated.   
“What do you mean?” The detective asked curiously, but continued before the other woman could answer “I mean, this town has its problems but it’s not like we’re a beacon for outlaws”.   
“Those from my family that worked here never really had close calls” The Earp woman said sadly and Nicole felt terribly sad for what she read between the lines “But you did. Wanna tell me about it?”  
“Long story short, I was a reckless rookie filled with that fresh out of the academy self-confidence who wanted to impress my superiors and I made a terribly bad call” Nicole shrugged.   
“And the full story?” Waverly tried.   
“It’s really long, I’m not going to bore you with the details” Nicole smiled.   
“Nicole, I don’t think I’ll ever be bore of you” Waverly said, making the detective’s heart skip a beat “So if you don’t mind telling me, I’d like to hear the story of how I almost missed you in my life”.   
“Okay” the detective said. Still feeling her heart beating erratically, Nicole made herself comfortable on the couch and began telling the story. 

She thought back to her first year on the Purgatory PD, when she still was a beat cop fresh out of the academy. Nicole lived on the shadow of her brother, a US Marshal, who had written such a stellar recommendation letter that she had managed to get several job offers from even big town precincts. Choosing Purgatory specifically was an ambiguous choice, on one side she was far from her parents and the memories of her early teen days, but on the other side the city was small, which normally meant close minded people. Nevertheless Nicole chose it anyway, telling herself that she’d grow inside the force and would eventually earn people’s respect and consequently their acceptance.

All throughout the first few months, Captain Nedley had assigned her to parking tickets or community oversight, nothing too complex or demanding. Nicole hated being away from all the action that she knew went down in the city. She had heard whispers going around in the precinct about a local gang that was terrorizing the locals and how they planned on rounding up the small fishes to get to the big boss. Nevertheless, she never saw anything happening. Whenever those talks begun, doors would close and only a select few would be given more information than idle whispers. But as a rookie, she was never invited and she hated it. She hated feeling like her dedication to her training was being ignored for the simple reason that she was a foreigner. Nothing bothered her more than feeling like she could be helping people way more than she was. 

On a regular Wednesday the rookie officer crossed paths with one Wynonna Earp. Fresh out of Greece, the brunette had an unjustified position on the force. The woman was always late and often hangover, that was when she wasn’t drunk still. Still, she was a detective and had the respect of pretty much everyone in the station. Not to mention the fact that she never felt the need to hide her relationship status with her coworkers. The first time they exchanged words was when Wynonna had asked Nicole to accompany her to the state morgue. The rookie was overjoyed to finally be on the inside. Except, when she had asked if she was joining the investigation, the detective shook her head and said that the only reasons she was there because Wynonna was slightly drunk and in desperate need of a ride. Apparently whatever was happening was too complex for local flatfoots to grasp. Enraged by that belittling, Nicole made it her mission to prove them all wrong, and to show them that she was much better than she was given credit for. 

During one of her rounds, Nicole had heard the locals talking about some disappearances. A couple of girls had gone missing while coming back from work and the population was restless. The officer had followed a lead she had gotten from a driver she let loose in exchange for information and found a couple of old tunnels from the prohibition days. Apparently, he had said, a few people had been seen entering the tunnels carrying different kinds of equipment at the oddest hours. Deciding not to bring it up to the Captain, Nicole kept a close eye on the most desert entrance and noticed the same car coming in and going out every day. Running the plate she discovered that the car belonged to Jack, one of Purgatory’s finest surgeons, who had rubbed Nicole the wrong way as soon as they had met for the first time. 

When Nicole had decided to bring Jack in, she had told her Sergeant and he had simply brushed her off saying there was no way he could’ve kidnapped the girls. They had all disappeared at the same time and the doctor was on surgery during the events. Apparently Doc had brought him up at some point during the investigation, mostly because he had an old resentment towards the guy, and they had to check his alibi. Which were confirmed by his assistant, one Doctor Reggie. Nevertheless, Nicole had learned from her brother to always trust her instincts, and it was telling her to dig deeper. When her request to bring both Jack and Reggie in, again, was denied by the Sergeant and the Captain she decided to overrule them and investigate her suspects anyway. 

After her shift, Nicole had clocked out and driven her own car to the place she had been staking out for a while. She had texted Nathan her location and plans and without waiting for his response the officer had entered the tunnel. At first, Nicole hadn’t seen anything but darkness and hadn’t heard anything but the sound of her reluctant steps. But after walking for a couple of minutes, Nicole had seen the improvised hospital room used to experiment on the girls. The small room had two beds and several medical equipment connected to them. As the heart monitor beeped, Nicole felt her pulse quickening. She had hoped to find something that pointed to Jack but she hadn’t expected to find anything like that. She saw two brunettes dressed in white gowns, wires connected their chests to several monitors on the walls. The heart monitor indicated that they were alive, but barely and it was easy to see why. Nicole noticed how thin the girls were, even with the IV that fed them, they looked like ghosts of the girls they once were. But what shook her to her core was the extensive fresh scars all around their bodies, like they had undergone several surgeries in a short period of time. The officer knew she had to get them out of there immediately or they might not stand a chance. On her frenzy to free the girls, Nicole had stumbled upon a tray of surgical instruments that fell to the floor loudly. She looked around to see if her miscalculated move had gotten anyone’s attention and she was met with silence. Nevertheless, it did not take long for a gun to go off. 

Nicole had seen it before she had felt it. Blood soaked the front of the work out T-shirt she had picked up from her car to look less of a cop. The strong metallic smell weighed the air, making it heavier and almost unbreathable. Nicole noticed that the more she inhaled, the less oxygen her lungs seemed to receive. She coughed and noticed the splash of blood tainting her lips and hands. She hadn’t seen the shooter when the first shot left their gun, neither had she seen them when the second one hit the wall to her left. The images got foggier and foggier before her eyes as she started seeing through a thin red layer. Nicole knew she should chase her assailant, that she should pick up the gun from her holster and shot at anything that moved and then save the girls. She was trained for exactly that, that was her job. But her muscles ached and she could feel the irony taste on her lips. As Nicole heard another gunshot everything went pitch black. 

The officer had woken up two days later in the ICU of Purgatory’s Metropolitan Hospital. She had been informed that one Wynonna Earp, upon seeing her erratic yet obstinate behavior decided to follow Nicole on her late hours adventures. Apparently she had seen something trustworthy on the woman and loved her rebellious move against her superiors. Wynonna had gotten to the improvised hospital room right after the first shot hit the officer and she had managed to pull the redhead away from the shooter’s aim just in time for them to dodge the second bullet. Wynonna had been the one to fire the third shot and the last one, while Nicole was unconscious on the floor. She had killed both Dr. Reggie and Jack and had managed to call for backup before taking the redhead to the hospital. Nicole was also informed that if they had arrived only a few hours later, neither the girls nor she would have made it. 

“Not too long after that I was awarded a promotion to Detective” Nicole said excitedly “And I got a new partner as well”.   
“I guess that’s how you guys became best friends?” Waverly asked curiously.   
“Not really” the detective smiled “after I left the hospital I tried to thank your sister but she kept brushing me off” she shrugged “and that went on for a couple of weeks”.   
“So how did you win her over?” The Earp woman asked.   
“Well, with a bottle of whiskey” She laughed “We were both working late one day and I just dropped the bottle and two glasses at her desk and that was it”.   
“That does sound like Wynonna” Waverly joined the detective in a sonorous laughter that echoed through the empty house. After a little while, the laugh died down and she spoke again “I’m sorry you got hurt”.  
“Yeah well, I think of it as a reminder that even though I like and am good at my job, it has its risks, you know?” Nicole said.   
“Yes I know” Waverly nodded “But try to be careful not to get hurt anymore alright?” The worry in her tone didn’t scape Nicole’s ears.   
“That was me being a reckless rookie, I know better now” The detective smiled “Plus, Wynonna said that if I die she’ll kill me, so there’s that”.   
“Then she’s doing great” Waverly said seriously.

Nicole noticed that Waverly’s hand still rested on her shoulder and she swallowed hard. The detective recognized the worried tone on the Earp’s woman voice when they had talked about her scar. She didn’t pity Nicole for having gotten hurt and nearly killed because of a stupid mistake, instead, she genuinely cared. She cared that the detective had gotten really close to dying and Waverly recognized her commitment to the force despite that. And it warmed Nicole’s heart. After getting shot she had had several conversations with people who thought they knew what was best for her. More often than not she had heard people telling her to quit her job because of its dangers or because she had gotten lucky once and she wouldn’t get lucky twice. People she had known for a long time had read her wrong and had tried to make her mind for her. But only a handful of people knew that Nicole wouldn’t quit her job exactly because of those dangers. She needed to do something to help others, to protect the little guy, to make the world a better place. And to Nicole’s great surprise, Waverly, a person she’d known only three days earlier, already had a good read on her. The detective noticed how the petite woman didn’t even seem to ponder the possibility of Nicole quitting, but instead, she just knew how the detective felt. Without having to ask. 

Nicole acknowledged her heart speeding up and she hopped Waverly hadn’t. Her shirt was still partially opened and she realized it would be impossible to hide her body’s reaction. And shortly the detective noticed just how right she was. Waverly, who hadn’t been paying attention to the automatic movements of her fingers was suddenly aware of the detective’s chest moving up and down. Nicole looked into Waverly’s eyes and couldn’t find it in herself to deny her. The fluttering of her heart and the tightening of her lower abdomen was too strong to be denied. And Waverly looking at her like she should be protected at all cost while simultaneously being able to protect everyone without even breaking a sweat, was too appealing. So Nicole gave in when Waverly lowered her hand to rest on her abdomen. They kept their eyes locked as the Earp woman expertly straddled her. With the woman on top of her, Nicole wet her lower lip and waited for Waverly to kiss her. 

The detective felt Waverly’s hands resting carefully on her neck. She moved her thumbs slowly, caressing the soft skin and building up the tension ever so softly. When the Earp woman did lower her head and connected their lips, Nicole embraced the familiarity. With her eyes closed, the detective heard Waverly’s low moan escaping her lips and she felt the tightening becoming impossible to ignore. She kissed back with an impossible mix of hesitation and drive. She wanted that kiss badly and she wanted to forget that the world around them existed. Nicole felt Waverly’s lips pulling into a small smile and soon she heard a giggle. As quickly as she had given in, Nicole pulled back. Waverly’s smile reached her eyes and Nicole thought that it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Their rapid breathing and heart beat matched one another and the desire was written on their features. Still their lips didn’t meet again. Instead, Nicole felt warm lips kissing her forehead and an understanding sigh coming from Waverly. 

“You can’t do this can you?” The Earp woman said.   
“I cannot” Nicole responded sadly.   
“Because Wynonna told you not to?” Waverly asked in a half understanding and half irritated tone.   
“No” The detective shook her head.   
“Then why?” She asked.   
“Because she deserves a chance to make things right with you and to rekindle the sisterly bond” Nicole said hesitantly “she deserves this chance without something or someone getting in between”.   
“I see” Waverly lowered her head, seemingly too immerse in her own thoughts.   
“What?” Nicole’s index finger lifted the other woman’s chin so they were facing each other again.   
“I know she’s trying her best” The Earp woman pondered her next words “I mean, she even sent you so I wouldn’t be alone in this house tonight”.   
“But...” the detective tried.   
“But it’s not that easy” Waverly said “She left me in London with our uncles as soon as she turned eighteen. I was a child still, and I had already lost my mother, my father and my sister” Nicole was taken aback by her words “and all of a sudden Wynonna decided she couldn’t be there anymore. She packed her bags and left” Nicole thought back to how Wynonna had described that moment as being one of the hardest things she ever had to do and it broke her heart a little “It’s almost like I lost two sisters”.   
“I’m sure she didn’t mean to hurt you” Nicole said soflty, pulling the other woman in for a hug. She found herself in the middle of a situation she did not want to be. Being friends with Wynonna allowed her to have an unique inside on the woman’s thoughts and feelings and suddenly she was in a very similar position with Waverly.   
“Yes, she lost just as much as I did and they asked her to take care of a kid while she was a kid herself. I get it” Waverly allowed the redhead to embrace her “but it doesn’t hurt any less”.   
“I’m sorry” Nicole realized that there was nothing she could say other than that.   
“I suppose part of me chose to come to the interview here so I could have my sister back” She smiled sadly.   
“You too deserve a chance” the redhead said warmly “and I’m here for you”.   
“Just not the way I want you to” Waverly said pointblank “right?”

Nicole felt her heart breaking even more. She knew exactly what Waverly wanted and she knew she could easily give in, because it was exactly what she wanted as well. But she couldn’t give her what she wanted without maybe hurting someone she cared deeply for. Nicole thought about all those times Wynonna was there for her, when she had her back during work or when she had an unlimited stock of alcohol at a short notice for those nights when their lives were just too hard. She couldn’t simply abandon all of that for someone she had just met. Even if that person felt like home. A feeling she had always been estranged to. Nicole still had Waverly wrapped between her embrace and when she couldn’t answer, she just tightened her grip. She knew that her answer wouldn’t please anyone in that room, not Waverly and certainly not her. But it was the right answer because she couldn’t give in. Not yet at least. 

Nicole felt Waverly carefully freeing herself and she didn’t do anything other than sigh when she got up and moved away from the living room. She heard the tap being opened and water flowing through the pile of dirty dishes and she chugged the rest of the wine straight from the bottle. She hated feeling like every turn she took frustrated someone. Wynonna. Waverly. Herself. With yet another suspire, Nicole got up and walked to the kitchen to help the Earp woman. They worked in silence for the better part of an hour and when they were done, both of them started to walk to their rooms. That was when Waverly pushed her towards the nearest wall and kissed her ardently. 

“You can’t answer my question because you want this as well, I know it” Waverly said in between pants “I get your reasoning but you should maybe consider that you could affect my decision to stay positively”. And with that she walked away. Leaving a hot and bothered Nicole Haught to consider her words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note, given the fact that Nicole doesn't really have a lot of background on the show (yet) i took the liberty of giving her some in this story. You'll see more and more of it throughout the chapters, and even though most of her background will come from my imagination, a great deal will be inspired by bits of the show. Let me know what you guys think of this in particular.


	6. Subtle Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long, writer's block hit me hard and it took me forever to finish this one but here it is. Finally. This is the end of their first "date" and we'll get to see the aftermath of it on the next few chapter, so yay.  
> I hope you guys like this chapter and i look forward to your comments and thoughts on everything about this chapter but also your expectations to future ones.  
> Lastly, thank you to my amazing beta!!

Nicole lazily opened her eyes at the dawn of day. Her alarm wasn’t going to ring for another forty minutes and yet she was fully awake. She had tried to force her restless body to sleep for a little longer, she had tried giving in to the tiredness of two consecutive sleepless nights and she had attempted to embrace sleep but she just couldn’t do it. The detective normally was woken by her 5:30 am alarm and was quick to start her morning routine with exceptional stamina. She would usually be relaxed, rested and energized, wearing a smile at six in the morning and having already been more productive by eight than most people were all morning, which was something that annoyed pretty much everyone around her. Nevertheless that wasn’t the case on that cold Tuesday morning because Nicole hadn’t able to sleep at all that night and the last thing she was, was rested. She kept twisting and turning in her unfamiliar bed, thinking about everything and getting nowhere. The detective kept thinking about the tomato soup spread all over the kitchen floor and all the laughter that it caused. She kept going over everything they had spoken about and everything they left in between the lines. And the more she thought about everything, the less sleep she could get and the more tired and frustrated she got. A terrible combination that would surely weight on her mood throughout the day. 

Nicole shut her eyes trying to prevent a headache from appearing knowing however that she’d eventually find herself taking an Advil at some point that day. She looked around the room, the unfamiliar yet so recognizable place that she had only been to a handful of times. Not that it was her first sleepover at the Earp’s house, far from it. Nicole had spent the night more times than she cared to number. However, whenever she was in there she’d sleep in the room that belonged to the woman that was currently occupying her mind. Her usual room had a very clean design and was kept neat and organized. Wynonna always paid close attention to the state of her sister’s bedroom, even before Waverly had decided to move back. Nicole had picked up long before that it was a sort of coping mechanism to deal with the absence of her, but Wynonna never really uttered those words. On the contrary, she’d rather die than admit that she spent hours attending to the matching pillows on Waverly’s room.

But that room already had someone in it. Someone that made Nicole weak to her knees and made her want to go to bed with and not sleep, at all. So the detective had no other choice then to sleep in Wynonna’s room. Waverly hadn’t protested against it when she noticed the redhead moving her things in there and Nicole was thankful for her understanding, despite having been pushed against the wall mere minutes earlier. The older Earp sister didn’t care much for her bedroom, more often than not she’d sleep on the couch instead of her own bed, making it the second least visited room in the house. The only one that Nicole had never even seen a glimpse of was the one at the far end of the hall, which she had come to learn that used to belonged to someone of the past. She wondered if it was kept as tidy as Waverly’s in an attempt to cope with something or if it was kept messily as Wynonna’s in a clear attempt of avoidance. 

Sighing, the detective cancelled her alarm and forced herself out of bed. There was no point in keep trying to embrace sleep after a night of futilely attempting to do just that. She fished for her overnight bag in the dark room and made her way downstairs. Making sure she was making as little noise as possible, Nicole closed her door and tiptoed to the stairs, stopping once she walked by Waverly’s room and noticed that the door was half empty. The detective looked at the sleeping woman and her heart picked up. She looked effortlessly beautiful. Her hair messily spread on the pillow which rested on top of her left shoulder. The blanket covered her whole body except for her right arm, which laid on the empty side of her queen bed. Nicole couldn’t help but think how easy it would be to crawl in bed with her and cuddle with Waverly Earp. How easy it would be to rest her head on her arm and to forget about every little thing besides the two of them. She knew that if she did that, she’d fall asleep, drowning in everything that was Waverly. 

Taking one last quick look at the woman and forcing those enticing thoughts away, Nicole closed the door slowly and moved to the first floor. The detective took off her pajamas, folding it carefully and putting it back inside the bag and picked up her work out clothes. Dressed in green pants, black sports bra and a white shirt, Nicole put her hair in a ponytail and moved to the bathroom. She then brushed her teeth and threw cold water at her face before deciding that she was as ready as she could possibly be to start her day. Figuring a lot of coffee would help keeping her attentive and awake throughout the day, she decided to start her never changing morning routine by pouring herself a fresh pot. The detective giggled lightly when she remembered that Wynonna kept her coffee related items and the machine by the side of her liquor cabinet because, in her own words, it was the most perfect and reasonable combination and it would make everything much easier when she zombied her way through the house. Still giggling at her best friend’s logic, Nicole filled the reservoir, added the coffee grounds into the filter before turning the machine and getting two mugs from the cupboard. Taking a quick look around, the detective noticed how they had left things quite messy the night before, literally and figuratively. 

Breathing out heavily, Nicole picked up Waverly’s yoga mat that she had seen near the fireplace during dinner and started her work out routine. Getting the rope from her bag, the detective started skipping, speeding up every time the rope hit the floor. She hoped that by exhausting her muscles she’d be able to ignore everything that had happened the night before. Her opening up to Waverly way more than she had opened up to anyone in a long time. Her feeling the lingering on her lips as Waverly pulled away. Her dreading the burning in her heart as she noticed the effect of her rejection on Waverly. The wanting, the longing, the burning desire. Nicole tried to exhaust her body so that she wouldn’t have to think about just how right it had felt to have Waverly pressing her against the wall and kissing her senseless. But she knew that regardless of how much her muscles aches from the exercise, she would still have to face the woman, Nicole would still have to stand there and refuse to answer Waverly’s questions. 

Much like a physical manifestation of her thoughts, as she finished her skipping and began to feel the bitter smell of fresh coffee, the detective saw Waverly Earp leaning on the very wall she had been pressed to mere hours earlier. Nicole swallowed hard. The other woman was wearing a red silk pajama which the shorts barely covered her thighs and the blouse exposed her shoulders and the better part of her chest. Her hair was tied in a messy bun and in her eyes sleep still lingered. She carried a thin blanket in one hand and Nicole felt guilty for probably having woken her up before she was supposed to. The detective noticed that Waverly had wrapped her hands around a mug and, from the smell that invaded the room, she assumed the woman had taken one of the two mugs she had set aside and was drinking the coffee she had made. The Earp woman smiled brightly and the detective immediately felt her heart fluttering. 

“Good morning” Nicole said as she pulled the rope back inside her bag.  
“Good morning” Waverly sipped on her coffee.  
“If I had known you were waking up this early, I would’ve made more coffee” The detective pointed out.  
“I already put more water in the machine, figured you’d want a kickstarter for your day, no?” She said.  
“Yes, thank you” the detective went back to the yoga mat and started stretching so she could proceed with her workout.  
“I stole your coffee, that’s the least I could do” Waverly giggled.  
“Sure” the detective smiled, embracing the light mood. “Did I wake you?” She asked.  
“No you didn’t, I usually wake up early and I’m still a tad jet lagged so still on London time” Waverly said “how about you? Why are you up so early?”  
“I like to work out before work” the detective pointed out.  
“So you slept well?” Waverly asked, moving to sit on the couch near the redhead, using the blanket to cover herself from the cold morning air.  
“I...” Nicole considered lying “not really no”.  
“Too much on your mind?” The earp woman raised her eyebrow suggestively. She knew damn well what the detective was going over and over in her mind and Nicole knew that Waverly was simply pushing to see how far she would go.  
“I guess you could say that” Nicole said.  
“Oh I’m sorry to hear that” Waverly faked.  
“Don’t worry though, I know just how to deal with it” The redhead smiled.

Drops of sweat started accumulating on the detective’s shirt, pulling the fabric closer to her skin. The white shirt became practically transparent and Nicole noticed Waverly’s eyes on her. She still had most of her workout to do and the redhead wondered if she could managed to push the Earp woman’s buttons with it. Surprisingly, at that point, Waverly knew Nicole’s weakness like the back of her hand. She knew how to tease the detective with mere words. She knew how to make the redhead long for her lips, her touch, her body. And more than anything, Waverly knew how to make Nicole’s mind go blank, no questioning, no fearing, no thinking too much. But the detective too knew a couple of things about one Waverly Earp. She knew just how to get under her skin. 

Nicole started stretching her hips, her calves, her ankle. Controlling her breath and pulling her muscles with every new stretch, the detective felt Waverly’s eyes burning her back once more. Figuring she could take advantage of the sweaty and stretchy situation, Nicole put her arms behind her back and spread her legs to stretch her thigh muscles. Bending over, with no rush and without opening her eyes, the redhead heard loud and clear a gulp coming from the other woman. She giggled lightly knowing that the Earp woman hadn’t seen that coming, therefore she couldn’t work on her poker face and confident facade. Nicole had swept Waverly out of feet. And she loved it. 

Finally turning to face the other woman, the detective noticed how she had her hands tightly around the mug. She also noticed that, despite Waverly having just woken up, having promptly moved to the couch and having a blanket around her to help with the weather, a thin layer of sweat formed on her forehead. Which made the detective giggle even harder. Nicole thought it was truly amazing to get reactions like that from the brunette, when she wasn’t overthinking, planning or playing anything. She also thought that the redness of Waverly’s cheek made her look even prettier. Effortlessly and adorably hot. Nicole would have had to catch her breath wasn’t for the fact that she was on a mission to see how far she could push Waverly Earp without getting nowhere near touching her. 

Deciding that she had stretched enough, the detective moved to her work out. Taking advantage of the sport bra she wore, and using the sweat as an excuse, Nicole took off her shirt before laying on the yoga mat and adjusting her feet. With her hands behind her head, the detective started the first of her five sets of sit ups. In between her sets, as she adjusted her position to what the new set required, the detective observed Waverly’s eyes never leaving her. The woman still had her hands around her mug and at that point Nicole was certain her coffee had gone cold. Needless to say that the detective was no short of amused when she started her last set of push ups. Having her head tilted slightly up, Nicole looked directly towards the other woman as she steadily lowered herself and pushed herself back up. Again and again. Waverly was flustered, but she somehow managed to keep her cool until she took a sip of her very cold coffee and immediately started coughing. 

“Are you alright?” Nicole asked jokingly.  
“I’m fine. It’s just, cold coffee” Waverly answered as she got out of the sofa to pour the forgotten coffee on the kitchen sink.  
“I’m fairly certain it was hot when you got it from the machine” the detective teased.  
“I know Nicole” she put her tongue out slightly “I was just a bit distracted and forgot about it”.  
“Distracted?” She faked worry “Too much on your mind?” Nicole winked amusedly with the chance of using Waverly’s words against her.  
“Oh yes” The Earp woman said with a hint of amusement that the detective couldn’t quite explain.  
“I’m sorry to hear that” Nicole tried to tease again as she walked in the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.  
“You know” Waverly shamelessly looked at Nicole’s sweaty body “I could very easily...” she began walking towards the other woman “finish what I started last night” she kept moving and Nicole had to walk back in order to keep her distance.  
“And what was that?” She tried to keep her composed composure but the slightly high pitched tone of her voice betrayed her.  
“Oh Nicole” Waverly kept walking “you’re trying to be coy now?” She smiled devilishly “After you shamelessly tried to seduce me with your sweaty body?”  
“Tried?” The detective arched an eyebrow.  
“Don’t tease me” Waverly heard Nicole hitting her lower back on the countertop and took the last step she needed before planting her hands by the detective’s side.  
“Or what?” Nicole tried.  
“Or...” Waverly let one of her hands travel to the nape of the redhead’s neck “I... will... give... you” she moved her face closer and closer with every word until their lips were an inch apart “what you truly desire.”  
“And what would that be?” Nicole gulped.  
“Me” Waverly said before placing a quick peck on the detective’s lips and pulling away.  
“Waves” the detective sighed.  
“I can tease you right back Detective Haught” She winked and moved to the other side of the kitchen “Coffee?”

Nicole laughed fully. It wasn’t the first time that she thought being around Waverly was easy and effortless, but it was then that she realized that just how right that easiness and effortlessness felt. Waverly pushed her buttons even when the detective thought she had the upper hand. Their dynamic was provoking, was daring, was inciting and it was lustful. But it was constrained, respecting and understanding. They toyed with the invisible line that stopped them from moving forward and going further, trying to see just how far they could go without it being too far. Their dynamic and interactions was naturally convergent, while one was action, the other was an equal reaction. Nicole noticed that Waverly’s presence and her games didn’t drown her in havoc, instead, it involved her in peace. Could they remain inside their bubble, away from external consequences and personal scrutiny, Nicole realized that she’d willingly and naturally seize all of it. Nevertheless their private universe wasn’t so private in real life. 

The detective accepted the coffee and excused herself so she could get ready for work. There was no point in dwelling on that yet again, especially not after having spent an entire night thinking about both Earp women. Wynonna was her best friend of five years, consequently the stakes were too high to risk for a girl she had met not a week before. Regardless of who that girl was. Quickly drinking the rest of her coffee, Nicole took off the rest of her sweaty clothes and hopped into the shower. The water wet her hair and cascaded down her back. For a little while she did just that, with her head resting against the cold ceramic wall tiles Nicole let the water run its course, washing every bit of sweat and cleansing her body of the negative emotions. Automatically, Nicole reached for Wynonna’s shampoo bottle but, surprisingly, she found herself holding one of many new hair products carefully spread on the floor. She knew right away that Waverly had taken up a little space here and there, much like she had done with the detective’s heart and mind.

Nicole finished her shower and changed into her work clothes. However effortless and easy her time with Waverly was, she’d still have to go to the precinct at some point and she’d have to face her friends and worse, her best friend. The stake out would at least provide an excuse so Nicole could avoid Wynonna for a couple of days, at least until she had managed to find a way to tell her what had happened. Surely the woman had been incredibly oblivious when she had asked her best friend to join Waverly for dinner, but there was no way she’d continue to be oblivious after a little while. But that was a problem for her future self, the detective thought. She packed everything she had brought to her sleepover and made her way to the first floor so she could thank Waverly for dinner and leave. Nicole couldn’t hide her disappointment when she walked into the kitchen only to find it completely empty, Waverly nowhere in sight. She sighed. Putting on her coat the detective opened the door to welcome the cold wind that immediately hit her face and that was when she saw the Earp woman leaning against her car with a warm smile that clearly contrasted with the february weather.

“Hi” the detective said amused.  
“Hi” Waverly responded just as entertained “I didn’t want you to leave with saying goodbye”.  
“I would never” Nicole smiled.  
“Good” the Earp woman said.  
“Plus, I wanted to thank you for dinner once again, it was truly fantastic and I stand by my previous statement that it was the best salmon I’ve ever had” Nicole said.  
“I could hit you up when I make salmon again” Waverly smiled “it would be no trouble”.  
“Is that you trying to get my number?” The detective arched an eyebrow inquisitively.  
“That would be lame” She said nervously, being caught made her blush crimson “plus if i wanted your number I could just ask Wynonna” she downplayed.  
“No need, give me your phone” Nicole quickly typed in her contact onto Waverly’s phone as soon as the woman gave it to her “There, now you can text me when you make salmon or if you ever need anything”.  
“Anything?” Waverly asked.  
“Yes” She answered.  
“Okay, sounds good” The Earp woman moved away from the car so she could open the door for the detective “be safe at work”.  
“Will do” Nicole kissed Waverly’s cheek longly “bye Waves”.  
“Bye” She smiled.

Nicole got in the car and waited for Waverly to get back inside the house, waving shyly when the woman turned her head around just before making her way through the door. Putting the gear in reverse the detective swiftly maneuvered the car out of the Earp’s driveway and into the heavy morning traffic. She heard her phone beeping and as soon as she stopped at a red light she picked it up, only to find a text that left her mouth dry.

_What if I need to push you against the wall and kiss you senseless again? ;) - Waves_


	7. Alarm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I made this chapter a tad longer as an apology for taking too long to update, sorry about that lol.  
> Anyway, how does Nicole deal with Waverly showing up unannounced? I wonder...
> 
> As per usual, we can chat here or my tumblr (itsalltoo) and I look forward to see what you guys think of this chapter. Comments, thoughts and suggestions are more than welcome. I wonder what you guys are thinking of the "slow burn".  
> Also, forgive any mistakes. I have the most amazing beta but you never know ;)
> 
> Enjoy mates!

Nicole cursed, loudly. She had already cursed mentally more times than she had bothered to count all the way from home to the precinct at the prospect of what she had to do once she got to work. But when she actually had to zip up the grey cleaners uniform she couldn’t help but to vocalize her malcontentment. She wondered if it was some kind of personal punishment from the Captain for her shenanigans less than a week earlier, it could totally be it. On normal circumstances, the detective would be going out of her way to erase her reckless behavior from her Captain’s mind, but her thoughts had been focused solemnly on Waverly and she hadn’t had a chance to actually consider the possible downsides of her actions. The obviously previously used uniform seemed like the perfect punishment for her, and it was the only way Nicole could justify its use, because it surely wasn’t a budget issue. In addition to the city’s resources, the task force had the backing of the national government and the FBI, so surely her having to use a smelly uniform was decidedly not a money issue. And the thing that annoyed Nicole the most was the fact that they could’ve used anything as a cover since all they needed was an excuse to get into the building unnoticed, not only that, the uniform definitely didn’t need to be a used one. Nevertheless, she was grateful for having to wear it only to get in and out of the apartment, having already sent a bag with her personal belongings when they had set up the stake out place and having another one going with her. 

Nicole rejoiced on the fact that she wasn’t the only one angry about it. Wynonna was boiling the last time the detective had seen her, something about a stake out being awful enough without the stinky uniform and the terrible partner. Nicole wondered what would be her best friend’s mood once she and Jeremy got to the covert apartment to replace them. If she were a gambler, the detective would probably bet on Wynonna and Dolls being one second away from snapping at one another. The whole Doc-Wynonna-Dolls-Eliza situation had everyone simultaneously on their best behaviors and on the verge of a breakdown. However Nicole had to admit that not once any of them had allowed their entangled relationships to get in the way of their work. To the four of them it was the elephant in the room that no one dared to address. But for everyone else, Nicole and Jeremy included, it was one awkward situation after another. 

As for the real situation happening inside the apartment, Nicole would see for herself soon enough. According to the carefully drafted plan, the detective would pick up the rental van from the compound a little after eight in the morning and then she and her partner would go to the stake out place to sub for the other detective and the sergeant. They would enter the building carrying a couple of half empty duffle bags so that when Wynonna and Dolls left, they could inconspicuously take back with them whatever evidence they had collected on their two day stay, either it was a photograph, an audio or better yet, a film. Then in a couple of days it would be her time to enjoy her freedom once the relief team would come to replace them. She was going through the whole plan mentally when Jeremy practically busted the locker room’s door open. 

“This is going to be great!” the boy half said half yelled.  
“We are going to be stuck in an apartment for two days” Nicole said, annoyed She wondered how on Earth the CSI managed to always be the epitome of optimism and great moods.  
“True, but it’s always great to leave the lab” he smiled “I love every chance I have to go on the field”.  
“I get it” the detective nodded understandingly “but still it’s pretty much the same thing you do in here. We are going to observe and try to get any leads and clues. It’s not like we’re even going to use our guns and handcuffs”.  
“Still!” Jeremy refused to budge “it’s going to be a first hand investigation, and if I’m ever to prove to the Captain that I can be more than a simple lab tech, then this is a great opportunity”.  
“You win Jer” Nicole smiled “I wanna see if you’ll be that excited when we meet Wynonna”.  
“C’mon she’s helping make justice I’m sure she won’t be that bad” Jeremy tried to argue and once again, Nicole wasn’t sure whether to question his sanity or to applaud his never wavering optimism.  
“It’s true that she’s the most focus of us on bringing the revenant gang down” the detective said “but waiting is not her thing and you know it.”  
“Remember that one time we were staking out that mansion and Dolls sort of yelled at me to stay put and be quiet and then I started blabbing and didn’t see Wynonna leave the car” He laughed “next thing he saw was Wynonna kicking the front door open and me trying to chase after her and failing miserably as I stumbled over my own foot”.  
“And that was on a typical day!” Nicole laughed as well “now imagine that restlessness combined with her eagerness to take them down and her inability to actually hang out with Dolls without either of them doing something about their unresolved situation”.  
“It’s not like they’ll have much time to notice the awkwardness, they’ll be very busy with the surveillance” Jeremy pointed out.  
“Oh sweetie, no” Nicole shook her head “ninety five percent of a stake out is a silent and boring wait for something to happen” she told him “and since they’re in a small apartment they won’t be able to avoid each other forever and you know what idleness leads to.”  
“So... she’s going to be stressed and pissed off” the boy noted.  
“Yep” Nicole said popping the final consonant as to state the obviousness of that answer.  
“Damn, that’s less fun” Jeremy shook his head and immediately remembered something “talking about the Earp’s, Waverly is here to see you.”  
“What?!” Nicole asked unbelieving.  
“Wynonna’s sister” he said “I saw her in the lobby and she asked if you were here and I told her to wait by your desk while I looked for you” he continued “and now I’ve found you”.  
“Jesus Jeremy, start by that next time will you?!” She said.  
“Sorry?” He held his hands up defensively but the detective’s attention was no longer on the boy. 

Nicole panicked. She was not ready to see Waverly. Being around her was no simple task, it demanded a lot of self control and preparation. It didn’t demand mere seconds, no, it demanded at least a few hours. Waverly had a way at keeping Nicole wondering what she would do next. She could flirt, she could talk, she could peck her lips, she could push her against the wall, she could tease, she could find the solution to world hunger. And this unknown was something the detective truly adored about the woman. Nicole would find herself gawking wordlessly at her every time Waverly did those things. The detective would get week on her knees while at the same time being overwhelmed by a rush of dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin. Nevertheless her unpredictability was the exact reason why being prepared for her was an incredibly hard task. Let alone without a warning. The detective needed to find her chill, to find anything at all to calm her rapid heart and breathing. She needed something to calm her shaky hands, to steady herself. Yet there was nothing that could do that, even if she had had some time to prepare, she would still be unprepared for Waverly Earp because she was the very first person to ever throw Nicole completely off her game. And that was a truth the detective did not want to admit. 

Completely absorbed in her own silent panic and spiraling thoughts, Nicole barely noticed the excited boy in the grey uniform presence. When thoughts of Waverly Earp entered her brain it was nearly impossible to find room for anything or anyone else. Therefore, she had mindlessly assumed that, once he had given her the information about the surprising guest he would leave the women’s locker room and would do whatever it was that he intended to do before they left for the stake out. Nicole was proven wrong when she finally noticed Jeremy looking at her with suspicious eyes. The detective knew he had no way of telling exactly what she was freaking out about, but she had known him for long enough to know just how good he was at figuring things out. The redhead tried to wear a blank expression on her face but by the way he looked at her, she knew it was too late to try and act nonchalant about Waverly’s presence. She had most likely been caught. She hated feeling exposed, she hated feeling as though someone could read her completely, where she had been, who she had been with, what she had done. The detective simply hated that anxiety inducing exposure. 

Nicole wanted to kick herself, there was no way that Jeremy wouldn’t connect the dots. The boy was smart and had a uniquely skilled radar for those kind of things. He was always the first one to know when someone was having sex, specially when it came to everything that went down inside the precinct with everyone doing everyone. And Nicole had made it easy for him to figure things out by not being able to function normally when it came to Waverly. Of course a slim part of her also considered the possibility of the big discovery being none other than her imagination playing a trick on her. She could be overreacting, Jeremy probably hadn’t noticed anything, maybe it was just her anxiety. Hopefully. But realistically, the detective knew that she had given Jeremy enough clues for him to figure out the nature of her relationship with Waverly and from that it would be a quick minute before the whole precinct knew it as well. It would be a quick minute before Wynonna learned that her best friend had slept with her baby sister. And the only thing that could make the whole situation worse was if Wynonna found that out through someone else. Nicole just prayed that she had the time and guts to tell her best friend before anyone else did. 

The detective took a deep breath. Accepting the fact that there was nothing she could do about Jeremy, she simply gave him a stern look and walked out of the locker room. She walked straight to the bathroom and locked the door behind her. Opening the tap, Nicole splashed cold water on her face to try and calm her growing anxiety. She immediately felt her heart rate slowing down and her breathing becoming more under control and for a minute the detective felt her perspective changing and her mind getting some much welcomed clarity. Alone in the empty bathroom and with her eyes closed, Nicole couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her lips. Of course Waverly would be there, of course the woman would continue to push her and of course Nicole would do nothing to steer her on another direction. The detective knew she wanted it. She wanted Waverly to keep teasing her, to keep sending her provocative texts, to keep seducing her with expertly planted kissed, to keep enticing her with milimetrical distances. Nicole wanted Waverly to keep making her want her desperately. The detective unbuttoned the uniform, letting the top half of it fall freely exposing the simple black tank top she wore underneath it and tied her hair in a messy bun before leaving the bathroom. 

As she made her way to her desk she noticed Jeremy and Eliza stopping whatever conversation they were having and quickly turning their attention to her. Nicole decided to ignore the curious looks and to push aside the returning anxiety and focused solemnly on dealing with the beautiful woman that waited for her. Waverly sat cross-legged on the detective’s desk sipping on a cup of green juice while mindlessly moving her feet to the rhythm of the song she heard through her earbuds. Nicole stood still in her track for a second, taken aback by just how fast her heart sped up and how easily she got tunnel vision from the girl in front of her. Much as she refused to acknowledge it, Nicole knew that those were not proportional reactions to a one night stand, she knew better than to reduce her relationship with Waverly to that, even though she repelled every single thought of the reality of what they were. Of what she felt. The detective shook her head and took the final steps to her desk, finally catching Waverly’s attention as she did so.

“Missed me?” Waverly smiled brightly.  
“I had to get take out last night, so it’s safe to say I did” Nicole said, moving to sit on the chair by the side of her table so she could face the other woman.  
“I’d be offended that you were thinking of me while you thought about eating” She paused the music she was listening to and took off her earbud “but I won’t” she winked.  
“Of course” the detective shook her head disbelieving at just how easy she had made it for the other woman “anyway, to what do I owe the visit?”  
“Surprisingly I came by to report an offense detective” Waverly said with an indecipherable tone.  
“Is everything okay?” Nicole immediately ran every possible terrible scenario in her mind “are you hurt?” She felt desperation creeping inside her heart as she waited for the other woman to answer her.  
“Yes” she answered seriously, causing the detective to get even more worried “my feelings are hurt” She giggled lightly upon noticing the worried expression on the detective’s features “you see, I had a date with this woman the other night and she hasn’t texted or contacted me every since” she giggled “in fact she hasn’t even answered my texts, so I think abandonment is also a problem.”  
“Waverly” Nicole shook her head half annoyed and half amused.  
“What? It’s a serious offense to leave a girl hanging detective” the brunette tried to suppress a smile.  
“And what exactly would you have me do?” Nicole thought for a second, deciding to join her “bring her in? Lock her up?”  
“No” Waverly lowered her voice and moved so her lips were impossibly close to the detective’s ear “just give me the go to and I’ll do the frisking myself and if I attest that she’s been bad just give me the handcuffs and I know just what to do” she hopped off the desk with a smirk.  
“You’re cruel Waverly Earp” Nicole smiled amused. She tried to play it cool but her mouth watered at the thought.  
“I’m not the one who’s stopping this from happening detective, in fact I’d be more than willing to take you home right now and help you...” she noticed the detective’s body language “relieve the tension” She smiled evilly.  
“I’m not tense” the detective tried.  
“The way you’re biting your lower lip indicates the opposite my darling”.

Nicole tried to form a coherent sentence but was unsurprised when her dry mouth didn’t manage to say anything. Waverly was right, the detective was more aroused than she’d like to admit, and the Earp woman didn’t even need to touch her. In fact, Nicole thought that should Waverly have done that, she would probably explode, or better yet, she’d push everything out of her desk and not so slowly take the brunette’s sweater out. The detective could picture it, her pushing Waverly’s towards the cleared desk, kissing her mouth and leaving open mouth kisses down her neck as she continued to undress the woman. Nicole could picture Waverly’s head tilting back as the detective explored every inch of her body. She could vividly depict the brunette’s legs twitching as she reached climax right there in the middle of the precinct. The redhead could imagine it all so clearly, and the more she imagined, the more she bit her lips and pressed her legs together. She was gone with two sentences from Waverly and with every new scene she played in her head she grew more frustrated.

“Don’t worry Nicole” Waverly said, pulling the detective out of her daydreaming “I won’t do anything”.  
“So you’ll behave?” The detective asked.  
“Only if you want me to” the Earp woman winked.  
“Are you going to tell me what brings you down to the station?” Nicole said changing the subject before her mind started drifting to the possibilities once more.  
“I came to pick up my sister” Waverly said casually “before she left for the stake out she texted me asking if I could drive her home today and since I didn’t have anything planned, here I am.”  
“That’s awfully nice of you” Nicole said “stake outs really drain all of our energy, so it’s really nice that you’re taking her home” she paused for a second before she continued “make sure you get her to eat something before she grabs a bottle of whiskey and go to bed”.  
“You’re the one who usually takes care of her?” Waverly asked curiously.  
“I’m her best friend, it’s kind of my main job to make sure she’s alive and well” the detective laughed sadly remembering all the times she had to make sure both those things were true.  
“Thank you” Waverly said “for taking care of her”.  
“She’s my best friend” she stated again.  
“Okay okay, I get it” the Earp woman bent over and picked up a medium Tupperware container from her bag “I made you a couple of sandwiches for your stake out” she said and the detective noticed a blushing appearing on her cheek “you seemed to like my food and I figured you’d appreciate a homemade snack” she cut herself and breathed in deep “and I’m going to stop rambling.”  
“That’s great” Nicole said choosing to ignore the adorably nervous rambling before she took the container and gently placed it on her desk “you really didn’t have to” she hugged Waverly longly, embracing the familiar feeling of having the woman wrapped around her arms. She was abruptly pulled back to reality by a shy cough.  
“Nicole, we should get going, it’s nearly eight and we don’t want to be late” Jeremy said while he placed a couple of bags on the floor.  
“Yes yes” Nicole pulled back and started to put her belongings inside one of the black duffle bags “Work, we should go do that”.  
“I’ll let you guys go to work” Waverly said “one of the officers said I could wait for my sister at the lounge” she picked up her bag “I brought a book to kill time so if you guys have coffee I’m all set”.  
“You should really get one from the cart outside” Jeremy pointed out.  
“Duly noted” the Earp woman smiled before she turned her attention to the redhead. “Detective Haught”.  
“Yes?” Nicole said.  
“Thanks for dinner” she winked and the detective wanted to dig a hole right where she stood “try to come back safe so we can have another one okay?” And with that she started walking towards the exit of the building. 

Nicole watched Waverly walking away from her. Hypnotically, she observed the woman put her earbuds back on and turn on her music. The detective found herself once again starring as Waverly Earp walked away from her and felt the urgency to follow her, wherever she went. Jeremy had to nudge the detective to bring her back to reality once more. Nicole finished putting her things inside the duffle bag and picked up the van keys inside her drawer. They walked in silence to the compound where the white van awaited for them but Nicole could see Jeremy’s brain working tirelessly. She knew they’d eventually have to talk about everything he had seen, or maybe hadn’t, nevertheless she was content with ignoring it for as long as possible. Avoiding it would mean the detective could embrace the warm feeling inside her chest for much longer, she could keep the smile that Waverly had planted on her face for a bit longer and that was all she wished for. Whatever wasn’t related to the absolute overjoying feeling inside her heart could be dealt with later, consequences be damned.

When they reached the place the detective had parked the van two days earlier, Jeremy put the duffle bags inside the trunk and started to talk about the plan. They had about thirty minutes to get in, pack everything and kick Wynonna and Dolls out before they had to leave with the van. After that, the CSI and the detective would take turns of eight hours each watching Juan Carlos’ apartment, taking notes of everyone that came in and out of the building and taking as many photographs as possible. They needed every bit of evidence of wrongdoings from him if they intended to get Judge Cryderman to sign off a search and arrest warrant, because if there was one thing Nicole had picked up from day one is that the judge didn’t seem inclined at all to helping them. In fact, she had lost count of how many times he had gotten in their way instead, not even Eliza showing off her FBI badge was enough to make the man think twice. Therefore they needed to do a good job with this stake out, and everyone knew that. Jeremy kept going over every little detail all the way to the apartment. 

The first thing Nicole saw when she opened the door to the apartment was a line dividing the living room and three already made bags. She figured that her predictions about Wynonna and Doll’s stay were correct. The silver lining was that they had managed not to do anything of any nature to one another, at least that was the vibe the detective was getting from the pile of photos and film. Avoidance always led to a job well done she thought. Maybe in an attempt to avoid Jeremy she would probably manage to keep herself busy enough with the task at hand. Wynonna informed them that they had noticed an unusual amount of visits from the fire department to the apartment, more than once they had seen Captain Ewan talk directly to the suspect but aside from that they hadn’t seen anything interesting. The old priest would mostly read all day, when he wasn’t doing that he was either sleeping or eating. Which Wynonna not so gently called a very boring waste of her precious time. Dolls was starting to dress his uniform when Nicole was pulled by her best friend to a secluded corner. 

“Hey Haught stuff” Wynonna started.  
“I’m so glad to see you and Dolls got along” Nicole teased.  
“I can be around the person I’m occasionally sleeping with without wanting to jump their bones you know?!” The brunette stated annoyed.  
“At least one of you girls can” Nicole said before she could stop herself.  
“What do you mean?” Wynonna asked confused but quickly spoke again “you mean Dolls?”  
“Yeah, sure” the redhead spoke, relieved to have an oblivious best friend “of course I mean Dolls, who else would I be talking about?!”  
“You’re acting weird” Wynonna began but was interrupted by her best friend before she could continue.  
“I am not!” Nicole almost yelled, which didn’t exactly work in her favor.  
“Anyway” Wynonna rolled her eyes before continuing “Dolls and I didn’t do anything other than do our jobs” she continued “he was on his ‘shut up and do what I say’ persona, so that’s that”.  
“You have a really messy love life” Nicole pointed out.  
“Says you” Wynonna didn’t waste time in reminding her best friend of her own track, to which she won a stern look.  
“Your sister is waiting for you at the station, you might not want to make her wait for you” Nicole said with a tone more annoyed than she had initially planned.  
“Oh shit, yes. I better get going” Wynonna started to walk towards the pile of black bags before she turned to her best friend again “how was your dinner with my sister anyway?”  
“It was great, thanks for not letting her know in advance that I was going to be replacing you” the redhead said sarcastically.  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Wynonna said confused halfway through the door “I texted her right after you agreed to do it”.  
“You did?” Nicole tried to continue the conversation “Wynonna!” She yelled as the door closed right in front of her “fuck!”

Nicole cackled. She had been played by someone. Either Waverly lied when she said the detective had accidentally surprised her while she was in the shower, or Wynonna had lied about warning her sister and had set her up. A million of thoughts invaded her mind and the detective simply didn’t know what to make of them. Should Waverly had been the one to lie, she had thought carefully how to get Nicole’s mouth dry, she had welcomed the woman wearing nothing more than a small towel. The detective knew that was not at all above Waverly, but that was a bold move even for her and Nicole didn’t know what to make of it. She hadn’t at all minded seeing a barely covered Waverly, but that hadn’t helped at all with her choice to not pursue the woman, in fact it had had the opposite effect. Nicole had dreamt more than a handful of times of that exact scene. Nevertheless, the detective could justify that with Waverly being Waverly, while she had a really hard time wrapping her head around her best friend lying. That would truly be an unforeseen event. Of course it was typical of Wynonna to avoid at all costs getting into situations that would force her to share her feelings, but she always owned up. She might avoid talking about her emotions but she never hid her attempts at avoiding it. Nicole figured that because of it, Wynonna wouldn’t lie about warning her sister of the guest change, in fact if the woman was simply avoiding having a conversation with Waverly she would’ve been straightforward with the redhead. So if she had been the one to lie, than something was up and the detective couldn’t quite figure it out. Either way she needed to untangle that mess before she went nuts thinking about it.

Forcing those thoughts out of her mind for the time being, the detective joined the CSI in setting up their equipment. They worked in silence adjusting the listening equipment, call recording devices and the cameras, they also checked the extra batteries and backed up the computer data on an external hard drive. Jeremy also pulled up a small whiteboard in which he had previously added a few information and names he wanted to be on the lookout for. Meanwhile, Nicole fixed their sleeping bags and got a pot of coffee running. She picked up Waverly’s sandwiches from her bag and offered one to her friend, who eagerly started to eat it as soon as he could. Nicole had gotten used to Jeremy’s everlasting hunger, it didn’t matter if it was lunchtime or three in the morning, the boy would always be hungry and more than willing to hit a burger joint. And that was something she loved about him, how he was always an overly excited ride or die friend. 

They ate in comfortable silence, stopping every now and then to pick up the binoculars to check on the apartment across from theirs. Nicole noticed Jeremy looking completely torn and she knew he was building up the courage to approach the topic of what he had seen in the morning. As much as the detective didn’t want to talk about it, every time Jeremy opened his mouth and immediately closed it she grew more frustrated. That went on for a while until she couldn’t take it any longer. 

“Just get on with it Jer” Nicole said frustrated.  
“With what?” He tried to dodge the obviousness of her words.  
“Whatever it is that you’ve been wondering whether or not to ask me for the past few hours” the detective braced herself.  
“I...” Jeremy started but upon seeing the annoyed expression on his friend’s face he decided against lying “Okay. So, Waverly?”  
“What about her?” Nicole pretended not to know what he was talking about.  
“She’s the one you slept with at the party on Saturday, isn’t she?” He asked point blank.  
“Jer...” the detective started.  
“Please Nic, don’t try to insult my intelligence by lying to me okay?” Jeremy told her.  
“Okay, yes” Nicole confessed.  
“How the hell did that happen?” The boy asked curiously.  
“Well I went looking for her and Wynonna and I didn’t find any of them, so I went outside to get some fresh air and I saw the treehouse light on” Nicole begun “when I went to check it out she was there and she’s hot” she continued “so it just kinda happened”.  
“So you just had sex with your best friend’s little sister?” He asked.  
“Well I didn’t know who she was Jer!” The detective defended herself.  
“Okay, okay” Jeremy went quiet.  
“I think this is a stupid question, but how did you figure it out?” Nicole asked even though she already knew the answer.  
“Dude, you were a blabbing mess when she appeared today” he told her “and it’s rare to see you not being your smooth self” he continued “plus you practically undressed her with your eyes when you guys were talking”.  
“That obvious?” Nicole shook her head.  
“Kinda, babe” he nodded sympathetically “you needn’t worry though, I’m not gonna tell Wynonna”.  
“Thanks” Nicole breathed relieved.  
“Just one thing” Jeremy began “what are you going to do about it? I mean, you clearly have feelings for the woman.”  
“Jeremy she was a one night thing, we’re just friends now” the detective said.  
“Nic, I don’t know if you’re avoiding considering it or if you really are playing dumb but you like like Waverly” Jeremy pushed, emphasizing the verb as to solidify his idea.  
“And what makes you say that Jeremy?” She was no short of annoyed.  
“You just ate this whole sandwich” he said earning a puzzled look from his friend “that sandwich that Waverly made for you and that you ate with a grin on your face was a pickle sandwich” Jeremy saw the shocked expression on Nicole’s face but chose to continue “you hate pickles therefore the only reason you’d eat it with a smile is because she made it for you”. 

Fuck. That was the only word Nicole could think of that made justice to the mayhem in her brain and heart. It was much easier to ignore what she felt when she could just push it aside, pretending it wasn’t real. But the moment someone else noticed it and the moment that Jeremy uttered the words she so fiercely refused to express it became all too real. She’d known it for a little while but in that empty stake out apartment, with her friend looking expectantly at her, the detective was forced to admit to herself that she did, in fact, start to nourish feelings for her best friend’s sister. In fact, Nicole Haught willingly accepted the fact that she really liked Waverly Earp.


	8. Wonder If She Knows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first, I wanna thank you guys for sticking with this fic. I’ve been having so much fun writing it and I have so many ideas (a few of which came from you guys so thank you for that) and your support is making me want to write more and more so yay!  
> Now, this chapter was supposed to be a filler but it turned out to be one of great importance to the story, it allows us to peek into Nicole’s brain and her heart and to see a bit of her reasons for the decisions she makes.  
> As per usual, let me know what you guys think of it, comments, suggestions and ideas are very welcomed and I like chatting with you guys about this so yeah, hit me up. I think I’ll receive a few messages on this one, maybe even have some explaining to do.  
> Lastly, a huge thank you to my Beta who not only proofreads my chapter, but also keeps me motivated when I think nothing I write is good enough and who gives me ideas when I’m stuck. P.S.: Even though there are two of us checking everything, please forgive any mistakes that we let slip through.  
> Without further ado, enjoy!

Nicole analyzed the document for the third time before finally hitting print and allowing her body to fall lifelessly on her chair. That was the third day in a row that she stayed late at the precinct to catch up on her late assignments and paperwork and to be early on her upcoming deadlines and those overtime were finally catching up to her. Not only had she spent those nights in the precinct, the detective had also slept poorly throughout the entire stake out week and the week before that. The redhead was the embodiment of exhaustion. She could feel her attention span decreasing significantly while her coffee consumption moved in the opposite direction. Nicole cracked her knuckles and stretched the muscles of her back and neck before she got up and picked up the freshly printed paper. She took one last look at it and added the photographs and the flash drive to the folder before she sealed it and logged it into evidence. Frustratingly, the folder was not as thick as anyone on the task force would’ve liked.

After one week of around the clock surveillance, they had gathered only circumstantial evidence of a connection between Juan Carlos and the revenant gang. They had over 150 hours of video and audio and about a thousand photographs but nothing too damning. If he truly was one of the bad guys then he was really good at covering his tracks. The most alarming thing they had on him was his casual meetings with a few known associates of the gang, which wasn’t a very rare occurrence to any Purgatory citizen, considering the amount of people involved with Bobo in some degree. They didn’t have nearly enough evidence to convince any judge to issue them even a simple search warrant, let alone Cryderman. On the bright side, after they packed their things and left the stake out apartment, Doc contacted a few of his secret associates who suggested an old fashion investigation. According to them and subsequently Doc, Juan Carlos was the type of man to welcome an honest and open conversation as long as it happened at a bar, over a bottle a scotch and amidst tales of past days. An unconventional suggestion that turned out to be the task force only option for getting to the man before he fled the city, carrying with him many secrets and clues.

With the copy of the finished file in hand, Nicole slowly walked towards the Captain’s office. Earlier that day she had emailed him the last of her notes and a short version of the final report and after a few seconds, he had replied asking her to pay him a visit before she clocked out so she could enlighten him on a few topics. It wasn’t unusual for them to chat in private, the Captain never hid the fact that he liked her much better than he liked his sergeant and he had no problem with overlooking the ranks when it came to her. However, out of respect for her coworkers and friends, Nicole stayed on her desk even after the clock marked the end of her shift, working on everything she could find, until they all left. Thirty minutes later, she found herself pacing back and forth in front of the Captain’s office, waiting for him to finish his meeting before she could announce her presence. Nicole peeked through the blinds in time to see the Captain shaking hands with one of Purgatory most prominent councilwoman and she jogged away to a respectable distance from the door, as to not seem like she was snooping. He walked the white haired woman to the door and said his goodbyes, promising to look into whatever they had discussed behind closed doors before asking the detective to join him on his office.

“Detective Haught! I’m glad you agreed to stay a little past your regular hours” Nedley said with a warm smile.  
“It’s not a problem Captain” Nicole started “I assume you want to discuss the case?”  
“Yes, but I also have other things to discuss with you” he said, raising several red flags for the detective.  
“Okay, I’m all ears sir” the redhead said.  
“I saw your report and it was very thorough” he said “I think we will have to go with Doc’s idea, but you guys work out the details with Dolls first, I don’t want things to get out of hand or messy.”  
“Yes of course. We have a team meeting first thing tomorrow, I think we should get to the priest while he’s under our radar” Nicole said, choosing to ignore the semi pissed off tone on her Captain’s voice at the mention of the Sergeant’s name.  
“That’s great. I think the task force managed to gather a good file, it might not be too damnatory but it’s enough to raise some interesting and pertinent questions to our investigation” Nedley said before taking a big gulp of coffee from his mug.  
“I think so too” Nicole smiled proudly.  
“Now I wanted to talk to you about your behavior two weeks ago” he said and the redhead gulped “I must say I didn’t expect that from you” the man continued. “Drinking on the job is more of a Wynonna thing” he joked.  
“I’m sorry sir” the redhead begun “I was dealing with some personal problems and I didn’t consider my actions.”  
“Have you been having many personal issues lately?” The man asked, genuinely worried.  
“Nothing to worry about, Captain” Nicole smiled at the man “just Wynonna being Wynonna” she laughed.  
“I still remember the day you got here and your first case” the man smiled at the fond memory.  
“Murder at Purgatory high” they said in unison.  
“You were taking notes of everything, inspecting every bit of that crime scene, making sure everything was catalogued and registered to perfection” Captain Nedley said.  
“And you came out of nowhere saying I had to hand the case over to the senior detective, which was Wynonna” she thought back to the day “she was in a corner looking hangover while eating a sugar powder doughnut” she continued “I was so mad”.  
“Truth is, she probably was hangover” the Captain laughed.  
“Most likely” she joined him.  
“What matters though is that you managed to work together” the man said, to which Nicole simply nodded in agreement “I was so relieved when that happened, because I fought so hard to get you to join Purgatory PD.”  
“I chose to come work here” Nicole pointed out.  
“Yes, you eventually did. But you were top of your class and had several offers that could’ve satisfied your personal requirements and more importantly, your needs” Nedley said knowingly “but I knew that you were worth the hustle and that you’d make a difference here in Purgatory. I’m glad Wynonna didn’t drive you away” he smiled “it would have been a shame to lose my future replacement”.  
“Sir?” The redhead asked, shocked.  
“I’m an old man Nicole, soon enough I’ll retire and it’ll be my honor to appoint you to become the next Captain” He said “of course we have to start planning ahead so you have all the necessary qualifications and prerequisites you’ll need, but that’s a conversation for another day” he smiled, upon seeing the constricted celebration and shock on his detective’s face “but for now what I need is for you to go do your work the best way you can if that’s to happen at all someday”.  
“Of course sir” Nicole said, barely managing to keep her emotions under control “I won’t disappoint you sir”.  
“I know you won’t” he took another sip of his coffee “now get out of here because my daughter is bringing me dinner” he said happily.  
“Yes sir!”

Nicole tipped her stetson and left the Captain’s office. Before she had the chance to close the door, the redhead saw an excited blonde bouncing up and down as she made her way through the main floor. The woman held a white paper bag in her hand, which oscillated back and forth with every new step she took towards Nicole. The detective smiled brightly as the woman wrapped her in a tight hug which lasted for a little too long. Nicole had grown close to Chrissy after her first few weeks in Purgatory. Being new in town didn’t make it easy for her to fit in with the locals. They all had spent pretty much their whole lives together and formed lifelong bonds and relationships which didn’t seem to fit a foreigner very well. Seeing her then deputy struggling to adjust, Captain Nedley took it upon himself to help her establish herself. He had helped her find a small house and proceeded to help her settle in on it. He had pointed her towards the best restaurants, bars and supermarkets and lastly, he had decreed that she’d go over to his house for dinner once a week.

At first Nicole had thought that Chrissy Nedley’s friendliness had been another one of the Captain’s attempts to help her. It wasn’t a stretch to think that the Captain had instructed his own daughter to smooth the redhead’s transition to the city. But as the blonde kept being friendly, the detective couldn’t help but to give in. On her first two months alone, Chrissy dragged Nicole to several hockey games, happy hours and house parties. She had been the redhead’s first friend in Purgatory and had truly made her life infinitely easier. Nevertheless, as time passed Nicole grew busier and busier with her career on the force and Chrissy saw her job as a preschooler’s teacher taking more and more of her time. They were unavoidably pulled apart but the detective thought fondly of the woman and whenever they bumped into each other they’d make time to catch up. With an apologetic look Chrissy placed a kiss on Nicole’s cheek and quickly made her way to her father’s office. Waving happily at the redhead as she closed the door behind her.

Nicole smiled. In a matter of fifteen minutes she had had more of a family experience than she had had her entire life with her parents. Along the way, Chrissy had become her sister and Captain Nedley had step up to become the father figure the detective had always dreamt of. Up until that moment, she had somehow managed to remain stoic towards everything that had happened that day, but as she watched the door close she felt a single tear streaming down her cheek. She had felt loved, cherished and appreciated, and more than that, Captain Nedley had complimented her job and her work ethic to the point of announcing to her his every intention of confiding in her the position he owned in the force for the bigger part of his adult life.

Realizing that she was one short second away from sobbing in the middle of her workplace, Nicole took a deep breath, smoothed the invisible wrinkles on her shirt and adjusted her Stetson before walking towards her desk to gather her things and clocking out. The detective cleaned up the mess she had made throughout the busy workday and double checked if she had properly filled everything. She logged out of the computer, put her personal belongings inside her drawer and locked it up. Nicole welcomed the night shift staff and said goodbye to everyone. She was about to enter the elevator when a loud voice called for her.

“Haughty!” Wynonna shamelessly yelled from across the hall “there you are, I’ve been looking for you literally everywhere”.  
“Really?” Nicole said surprised once the woman reached her.  
“Well not really, I’ve looked for you at the parking lot and well” she whirled her hands in the air “here”.  
“I’m thrilled to know you conducted such a meticulous investigation of my whereabouts” the redhead said mockingly.  
“Shut up” Wynonna protested annoyedly.  
“So... any particular reason why you were looking for me?” Nicole asked.  
“Yes!” The Earp woman yelled.  
“Okay...” The redhead tried.  
“I was at Shorty’s and you weren’t and I felt like we haven’t hanged out in a long time” Wynonna smiled “so I went looking for you so we could, you know, hang out”.  
“So, let me guess” Nicole rolled her eyes. It had taken her a little while to pick up on her best friend’s lies and mannerisms but she had since become a master in it “Doc and Dolls were at it again and you had to find a way out of that” she got in the elevator “that’s when you noticed your usual go to, little old me, wasn’t there and spending time with your best friend was the get out car you used”.  
“I brought Tequila” Wynonna said in her defense.  
“Of course you did” the redhead smiled, amused.  
“But really, you’ve been AWOL” the brunette said.  
“Someone has to put in the work if we intend on catching Bobo” Nicole pointed out.  
“Yeah, right” Wynonna’s face fell and the redhead could clearly see the broken expression on her best friend’s face “thanks” she said before walking into the elevator.  
“I’m sorry, that was mean” Nicole said regretfully “I know how bringing him in means to you and I know you’re the one working the hardest to get that”.  
“If you want to kiss my ass, Haught stuff, at least buy me dinner first” said the Earp woman, taking a generous sip of tequila straight from the bottle.  
“So you want to diversify your sex life?” The redhead joked.  
“Like I’d do it with you” Wynonna seized up her best friend before continuing “please”.

After a short moment of silence both women laughed loudly. Nicole had tears cascading out of her eyes as she held onto the elevator bar in an attempt to keep herself from falling while Wynonna chocked on the liquor she had just drank and spilled tequila all of over the floor. The redhead rejoiced on the refreshing breathlessness of a careless laughter shared with friends. Nicole looked at her best friend mindlessly laughing while holding a bottle of Jose Cuervo inside a police elevator and she felt her heart almost exploding once again. Seeing Wynonna completely at ease was a rarity but seeing her genuinely cracking up was something of a blue moon. So to Nicole it didn’t matter at all that she was the punch line of that particular gag. Nor did the fact that she was, more often than not, the punch line of all of her best friend’s gags. The one thing that mattered to her was that Wynonna Earp had been able to let go of her ghosts and monsters for at least a quick minute.

They stumbled out of the elevator and didn’t even bother trying to disguise their carefree and buoyant spirit as they made their way through the front doors of the Purgatory police station. They embraced a comfortable silence as they made their way to Nicole’s car, parked on the her usual spot right in the middle of the parking lot, between Dolls’ and Eliza’s spot. Wynonna sat on the passenger seat and was messing with the radio before Nicole could even turn on the engine. And so, they left the brown building behind, driving towards the nearest drive in, where they always ended up after a night like that. That had become somewhat of a tradition between them, the redhead would pay for their wings and fries and would park the car in a spot that allowed them a view of the street so they could drunkly people watch. They would eat and drink in between remarks on everyone that walked by them. And they’d keep doing that until there was no more alcohol. Usually that was when they’d call a cab and head home, but to Nicole’s surprise, Wynonna started talking right after the last drop of tequila left the bottle.

“I’ve been meaning to ask” she didn’t bother to take her eyes out of the street in front of them “are you really not going to tell me who you banged at my party?”  
“Back at it?” Nicole rolled her eyes.  
“I tried to force Jeremy to tell me who it was, the boy was trembling in fear but he did not say anything” Wynonna said “sadly”.  
“What makes you think he knows?” The redhead asked curiously.  
“When does he not?” The Earp woman pointed out.  
“Fair enough” Nicole smiled.  
“So... are you going to tell me?” Wynonna tried again.  
“There’s no need, it wasn’t important” the redhead felt a lump forming in her throat at the words but kept going “it was a meaningless thing”.  
“Are you sure you’re not running off to get married?” Wynonna joked.  
“Not this time” Nicole shook her head amused.  
“Never hurt to ask” the Earp woman shrugged “was she hot?”  
“Wynonna!” The redhead yelled embarrassedly.  
“Fine, fine” she huffed “so I guess I won’t be getting any information on what happened then?” Wynonna more stated than asked.  
“It didn’t mean anything, she was there and I was there and alcohol was there and you know how it goes” Nicole started “but it really didn’t mean anything. She didn’t mean anything”.  
“That’s unusual for you” Wynonna pointed out “but if that’s what you wanna go with, fine by me” she continued “and hey if you’re happy who am I to judge?”  
“Right” the redhead whispered to herself “happy.”

The detective looked at her friend and a cold shiver went down her spine. She felt the silence that settled between them hunting her. A bitter taste lingered in her lips and she felt her stomach twisting and contracting painfully. Tiny droplets of sweat started forming on her forehead and suddenly she felt nauseated. Wynonna was right, that wasn’t her, that was completely out of character. Yet Nicole sat there and diminished the occurrence of that night, she felt the words slipping through her lips before she could contain herself. So she lied. She found herself saying that it had meant absolutely nothing and that the woman she had been with had meant so little that her name wasn’t worth mentioning. Lies pulling up on top of lies. Nicole knew her best friend was looking after her, even through jokes, Wynonna always had her best interest at heart. But the redhead thought that lying about how much it had affected her was better than allowing Wynonna a peek into her cherished memory.

But regardless of how much she tried to rationalized it, Nicole felt sick to her stomach while uttering those words to her best friend. It wasn’t so much the blatant lie that she told Wynonna that pained her heart. As the detective heard her own voice belittling how she had felt that Saturday night and everything she started feeling for Waverly since, Nicole felt everything shifting out of balance. Ever since her conversation with Jeremy, the detective hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her feelings, she hadn’t just acknowledged them, she had started to accept them and to consider acting on them. Wynonna was right, despite their back and forth, her indecision and her carefulness, the redhead’s life had gained colors that shone much brighter than before. She had been happy that night inside the tree house, she had been happy the following morning in the dinner and she had been so happy every second spent with Waverly or even thinking about her. But while she sat in a partially empty parking lot, holding an empty bottle and lying to her best friend, Nicole was far from happy.

“On that note” Wynonna said catching the redhead’s attention from her inner depressing monologue “how was your dinner with Waverly the other night?”  
“Uh?” Nicole asked surprised.  
“Yeah dude, the dinner you guys had the other day” she stated simply “it was kind of a dick move of me to dump that on you without warning” she continued “and you just went with it, so I wanna know how it went”.  
“Well” the redhead thought about what to say “it was really awkward because your sister looked completely shocked when she saw me and she said she had no idea I was going to show up in the first place” she held her breath in anticipation for the answer.  
“That must have been awkward” the Earp woman said nonchalant “she must have not checked her phone then because I did text her”.  
“You did?” Nicole asked.  
“Yeah, I didn’t want to be rude you know?” Wynonna began but shortly she noticed the shocked look on her best friend’s face “You really think I wouldn’t have?”  
“Well I did walk in on your sister leaving the shower, so you tell me!” The redhead said.  
“That’s probably why she was so weird when I asked her about your dinner” Wynonna pointed out.  
“She was?” Nicole asked.  
“Dude how much alcohol did you have?” The brunette rolled her eyes annoyed at her best friend’s continuous questioning.  
“I asked her if you had been a good date and she turned as white as a ghost” she laughed “if it were anyone else I’d think they’d been bad, but you’re incapable of being anything other than well, you”.  
“It was normal you know? No biggie” the redhead downplayed “we ate and we chatted and in the morning she helped me work out before work” she said.  
“And that’s all you did?” Wynonna inquired.  
“Um...” Nicole swallowed hard “yes”.  
“Don’t take me for a fool Nicole, there’s no need to hide it or make light of it, I know what you did” the Earp woman said in a serious tone.  
“You do?” The redhead said hesitantly.  
“Yes” Wynonna said “I should’ve seen it coming though, of course you’d do it. So wanna try telling me what you and my sister really did?”

Nicole froze. She wondered if she had passed out and was watching the whole thing unfold as a spectator through blurred lenses. Wynonna looked intently at her waiting for a response to her insinuating question. The redhead felt like she was under the microscope, like a common perp they had just picked up from the street and shoved in the interrogation room. She knew that look on her best friend’s face. It was the look of a detective that had all the facts and was just waiting to catch their subject in a lie. And the one thing Nicole couldn’t deny was that she had been caught in a massive lie. She had laid lies after lies all while her best friend inauspiciously led the conversation towards that one moment of revelation. With a deep breath Nicole braced herself and opened her mouth.

“I slept with Waverly” Nicole heard herself saying.  
“When?” Wynonna asked furiously.  
“It only happened once and I was trying to find the right way to tell you” the redhead tried.  
“When, Nicole? When did you sleep with my little sister?” The Earp woman asked again.  
“Why does it matter?” Nicole tried to remain calm.  
“Because of everything you just said” The brunette pushed.  
“At the party” Nicole admitted “but look I didn’t...”  
“Don’t bother” Wynonna said angrily. She shook her head frustratedly before she opened the door and started to walk through the parking lot away from the car.  
“Wynonna wait!” The redhead ran towards her best friend “Give me a chance to explain c’mon!”  
“You know, I could’ve expected this from pretty much anyone else, but you, you knew how much it mattered to me” Wynonna stepped towards the redhead with a furious look on her face “and you just went there and had sex with her”.  
“No! Listen” Nicole tried again.  
“What? Are you now going to tell me it meant everything to you? Please, it’s too late for that now don’t you think?” Wynonna said, her face mere inches away from the other detective.  
“At the time it didn’t but now...” the redhead felt her heart pounding inside her chest.  
“Now you are in love with Waverly? Is that why you didn’t tell me? Is that why I had to find out on my own? Because she’s the reason for most of your smiles and for the beats that your heart skips?” Wynonna laughed maniacally.  
“I...” she found herself without words.  
“Yeah Nicole, didn’t think so. She’s my sister and you didn’t even give a shit about it. Or about the fact that it would inevitably affect me and my chances to atone and have a real relationship with her” Wynonna dropped her hands in defeat “what a great best friend you are Nicole”.

The redhead stood still. The lamppost shone a sad light on her fragile broken figure, all alone with her clouded thoughts and blurred eyes. She singlehandedly had put herself in that position, with her fear of hurting the people she loved, she had done just that. Nicole watched her best friend stumbling away, struggling to keep her balance after half a bottle of Tequila and a short but wearisome conversation. The detective reluctantly started to walk back to her car. With her head hanging low she felt the sadness and guilt pushing her down towards the floor, compressing and reducing her to nothing but a shadow. She snickered at the reminder of a similar situation: thirteen years earlier, she had walked hopelessly and overwhelmed with sadness, guilt and shame towards a car parked under a poorly illuminating lamppost. She beat herself mentally. It had happened again, her worst fear and deepest scar and darkest horror. Nicole had lost her home and her family once again. She closed her eyes and sighed, letting everything sink in.

“Nicole?” Wynonna yelled loudly “Earth to Nicole, hello?!”  
“Wyn?” Nicole’s voice weakened by emotions.  
“Dude I asked you question and you spaced out for like two minutes” the brunette took a generous handful of French fries from the bag and sorted through them to get the crispiest one.  
“I did?” The redhead asked.  
“Yeah” Wynonna said with a mouthful of fries “anyway, you didn’t answer me” she earned a puzzled look from the redhead “do you want to tell me what you and Waverly did on your dinner? What did you do to her?”  
“Nothing?” Nicole said unsure, the vivid memories lingering to her brain disoriented her notions of reality and complicated her decision making.  
“I really don’t know why you always do that, you refuse to take credit where credit is due” Wynonna smiled “whatever you said to my sister worked, we had an honest conversation and I think she’s really considering staying in Purgatory if she gets the job at the uni”.  
“That’s great!” The redhead breathed in relieved.  
“It is, and it’s all thanks to you. So thanks Nicole” she raised an invisible glass “you’re top shelf man”.  
“I’m just glad I could affect positively her decision to stay” Nicole uttered the very same words Waverly had told her during their first date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just wanted to say that this story is from Nicole’s point of view, so everything that happened was her imagination and her fears. Okay!


	9. Ride or Die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a three paragraphs max thing, an intro to the next chapter but my hand sort of slipped and it turned into a full on chapter. So I hope you guys like it!
> 
> Hit me up with your thoughts, opinions, ideas and expectations.

The dream was nice. She was a young little girl, maybe four or five. Running around the house barefoot, holding her ragdoll tightly around her arms as her lungs pushed frenetically against her ribcage. Nicole could feel drops of sweat accumulating on her forehead but it was worth it. Nathan ran after her, chasing her around the old suburban house and the redhead laughed loudly as she hid from him so she wouldn’t be it. It was their third round of tag and she could feel the exhaustion taking over her, but she was having too much fun to stop herself. Philip Haught sat on the couch pretending to watch the hockey game while keeping an eye on her little girl’s chaser, signaling her in Morse code whenever her brother approached her hiding spot under the kitchen table where their mom cooked dinner. Eventually the older of the Haught siblings heard Nicole’s mischievous giggle and it was his time to hide. The dream started to dissolve as a distant and foreign buzzing begun to sound louder than her carefree laughter.

Despite the bad blood between the Haughts, reminiscing about early childhood memories was something Nicole always found herself doing when her heart was conflicted. Not to say that she appreciated it, in fact thinking about Philip and Meghan Haught only ever made things more complicated and painful. It was nearly impossible for her, regardless of how hard and how long she tried, to reconcile who her parents had been while she was growing up to who they turned out to be. But while trying to figure out the best way to make room inside her heart and in her life for both Earp women, the detective welcomed thoughts of her parents. Despite them having left deep scars on her, they had showed her what kind of family she wanted. One that would laugh fully on a Sunday afternoon over the silly things they did together, that would love one another and that would make everything in their power to make sure they were all happy. Nicole knew that she had found that family within the Purgatory police department. She had found brothers and sisters in all of her friends, she had even found a father figure, and in Waverly she had found a possible future. So if dreaming about her parents every night as soon as her head hit the pillow was the catalyst she needed to start figuring out how to make that family work, Nicole would gladly reminisce about hiding under the table in the kitchen of her white picket fence childhood home.

The buzzing continued as the detective struggled to lift her heavy eyelids. Despite being still very early in a winter morning, her room was not completely wrapped in darkness as it was supposed to be. Instead, the TV she had forgotten to turn off the night before poorly illuminated the room. The dim lighting didn’t allow her a crystal clear view of her bedroom but it was more than enough to allow the detective to walk around. She was even able to see the small holes on her wall where, a few years earlier Xavier had tried to install a bookshelf for her as a surprise birthday gift. Another cherished memory that early on a Friday morning. Nicole stole a glance at her alarm clock, glowing red, mechanically beeping tirelessly and indicating, in fluorescent lights, that it was time for her to get up and go to work. Reaching out to turn it off, the detective accidentally knocked off a few folders she had left on her nightstand before turning in to bed the previous night. Case files she had illegally taken out of the precinct so she could make good use of her time instead of wasting it overthinking about what she had seen and how she had felt days earlier inside her car. Things the redhead knew she had to think about eventually but that she had no idea exactly how to. Sighing, Nicole forced her body to abandon the warmth and comfort of her bed to unwillingly embrace the day ahead of her.

The redhead was supposed to give Wynonna and Jeremy a ride to work that morning. It had been snowing hard that week, the equivalent of what the meteorologists had predicted for the entire month of March in the span of two days. The emergency line had been getting several calls for snow related accidents, the more common ones being caused by slippery roads and careless drivers. Given the situation, the Captain had instructed the whole squad to carpool using the police cars to avoid accidents since they were much more equipped to withstand the snow and the ice. The officers, the technicians and the detectives quickly worked out their carpooling system, everyone tried to either ride with their friends or with the person living closest to them. Nicole was asked by a couple of officers who lived a few streets down from her place if she could tag along with them, but she figured it was best if she drove herself and a few others. Jeremy didn’t live that much further from her and he usually took the bus to get to work since he was adamant in not getting a driver’s license and Wynonna was always riding with her, so it was settled that the three of them would be taking one squad car.

Nicole went through her morning routine as per usual, workout, shower, breakfast and a little quality time with Calamity Jane. She hid the hijacked files deep inside her work out bag, making a mental note to put them back as soon as possible before someone else went looking for them. Then the detective picked up the car keys and walked into the storm. Her first pickup was Jeremy, the boy awaited for her out on his porch and as soon as he noted the squad car turning his street he started waving happily. Getting in, the boy opened a small container and offered Nicole a pack of cookies alongside a red thermal with fresh coffee he had prepared as a thank you. His usual morning mood seemed completely unaffected by the negative twelve degrees outside. He sang animatedly to their shared playlist tapping his knuckles against the dashboard to the biggest 80’s dance classics. Nicole couldn’t help but join him once Heaven is a Place on Earth started blasting through the stereo. They patiently waited for their coworker for over fifteen minutes until the detective started to grow inpatient.

“Stop honking, I’m leaving in a minute” Wynonna yelled from somewhere inside the house. “If you keep honking it’ll take me twice as long” she continued “on purpose” she popped her head out the window and scoffed.

Nicole amusedly watched Jeremy check his watch every ten seconds or so. The boy looked exactly like she had the first few times she had given Wynonna a ride. It was a mix of annoyance for having to wait in the extremely cold weather while the woman took forever getting ready for work, which meant more than anything gathering the necessary energy to leave her bed, and anxiety induced by the high probability of getting to work way past the beginning of their shift. Nicole also noticed that the more he checked the time, the more he mentally wondered whether or not he could kick the door down and drag Wynonna towards the car. When Jeremy finally seemed to set on an answer to that pondering, the front door of the Earp House was pushed open and two figured started walking towards the car. Nicole figured she should have gotten used to Waverly making surprise appearances at that point.

“I was going to ask if there was a fire you need to put out but it would imply you’re on Ewan’s team and that’s just ugh.” Wynonna said annoyed as she reached the car “Since there’s no fire, what’s the hurry then?”  
“Work. It starts at eight” Jeremy said “which was ten minutes ago” he pointed to his watch.  
“Back. To the back now” the older Earp looked at him sternly as he fumbled to undo his seatbelt and empty the passenger seat.  
“I’m sorry” Waverly said shyly from behind her sister “I’m the one to blame for the delay”.  
“Don’t worry, it’s really okay” Nicole smiled at the sight of the woman. She took a deep breath to steady her heart and signaled for her to join the CSI on the backseat.  
“She didn’t want to come with us and it took me forever to convince her stubborn ass to move” Wynonna said annoyed.  
“What’s wrong?” Jeremy asked. It would have been a very pertinent question, wasn’t for the fact that Nicole would be doing the driving and that he knew exactly what type of relationship her friend and the youngest Earp had.  
“I didn’t want to bother you guys” Waverly said and the redhead immediately picked up on the lie. Nicole was the reason why she had to be persuaded into joining them.  
“Bullshit” the brunette detective said “she has to go to her big interview at the university today and even though I said you wouldn’t mind stopping there on the way to work, she was adamant on not tagging along” she continued “she intended on taking the public transportation, which is not working today, so she was willing to risk her life by calling a random cab to drive her there, in this weather”.  
“Don’t be dramatic, Purgatory citizens are used to this weather. I’m sure there would have been a few qualified drivers to get me there” Waverly tried to argue.  
“And how long would they have taken to get all the way to our house?” Wynonna asked and Nicole couldn’t help but to smile at the change in pronouns. “Admit it, your skin was crawling at the thought of being on the backseat of a police car”.  
“I’m sure that is what she was thinking about” Jeremy mumbled finally picking up on the situation.  
“Wyn, Waverly is going to a job interview, do you really think it’s a great start if she gets there in a police car?” Nicole tried.  
“I don’t see a problem really, it’s Purgatory, and they know the Earp’s” Wynonna shrugged “Plus it's better to get there like this than to risk missing the interview all together by leaving it to chance in this weather.”  
“Wyn’s not wrong” Jeremy weighed in.  
“Of course I’m not wrong” she said “now will you please drive us to the cafe on Main Street cause you guys were incapable of leaving some for me” she shook the empty thermal.  
“Of course Wynonna” the redhead said annoyingly, already driving away.

They drove in a mostly comfortable silence. Even though Nicole had most of her attention towards the ill conditioned road, she managed to catch glimpses of everyone as she drove. They were all too immerse in their own private worlds and thoughts to notice the redhead staring at them in the quietness of the car. Wynonna stared mindlessly at the street where a few brave individuals, covered from head to toe in countless layers of fabrics, ventured into the thick white layer of snow that kept falling endlessly from the sky. Nicole wondered where those people were going. Since it was the morning she assumed that the main reason for most of them to be out was the obligation to get to work, but some part of her wondered if they braved the unrelenting weather to get to their loved ones. Maybe someone was waiting for them at home with a warm cup of hot chocolate and a lap to lie down on. Either way she hoped they reached their destination safe and sound.

Jeremy had his earbuds on and it wasn’t a stretch for the detective to conclude that he continued listening to their shared playlist without her. In between bites of his recently purchased doughnut he mouthed the words to the song he was listening to by using the remaining pieces of his food as an improvised microphone. Nicole couldn’t stop the smile that started to form in the corner of her lips at the sight. His unwavering uplifting personality in addition to his weird and awkward spontaneity were a few of the many reasons why Nicole loved him. Jeremy was someone who worked daily with the worst of the worst and yet he never let anything affect his quirky nature. Instead, in spite of everything he was always a ride or die friend, ready to walk into an explosion with and for his friends without questioning, and he’d do so with a genuine grin on his face.

But it was Waverly that kept capturing Nicole’s eyes. It was always Waverly. The woman had a focused expression on her face as she flipped through the pages of a leather binder. The detective had briefly seen the folder during their dinner date, it was on the table in the home office the historian had assembled at the Earp’s house. The binder seemed to be neatly organized while the room surrounding it was the complete opposite. There were photos, newspaper clips and post its all over the walls and several books rested scattered across the floor. Based on her knowledge of Waverly at that time, the detective had assumed that that methodized mess was Waverly’s research that she had so passionately talked about during dinner and that the use of constant exposure to the subject was her way of studying. The Earp woman had this thing she did whenever something required all of her focus, she would frown slightly and bite the corner of her lips as she dove deep into her mind. Nicole had picked up on it very quickly. Watching Waverly dive deep inside her own universe and watching the gears shifting inside her brain was mesmerizing and addictive. Through the rear view mirror, Nicole noticed Waverly knitting her eyebrows together and biting down on the pen she had trapped in between her lips, and her heart skipped a beat.

Nicole’s eyes kept finding their way back to Waverly time and time again and the detective knew she wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her just yet. Ignoring her better judgment and pretty much every single alarm ringing inside her brain, the detective decided to buy more time with her, however long she could get. After a few turns the redhead hit the brakes leading the car to a sudden stop. They were two blocks away from the precinct when the unexpected halt made her three absent-minded passengers hit their bodies violently against their seats. They exchanged confused and irritated looks after checking themselves and their belongings and within a second Wynonna started raging.

“Dude what the hell?” She asked angrily.  
“I’m sorry” Nicole said apologetically “are you guys alright?”  
“I’m great” Jeremy exclaimed “now I know I don’t need to get my heart checked anytime soon”.  
“Drama queen” she rolled her eyes.  
“We’re alright Nicole” Waverly said, she tried to mask it but the detective noticed the speeding up of her breathing.  
“Talk for yourself” Wynonna huffed earning an annoyed look from the driver “I’m okay, but things would be a lot different if anything had happened to my coffee”.  
“Good to know you have your priorities right” Jeremy mumbled.  
“Whatever” the brunette waved him off “now what the hell was that all about?”  
“I’m dropping you guys off here, you can walk the rest of the way to the precinct” Nicole said matter of factly.  
“Are you kidding me?” Wynonna half yelled.  
“No, you guys are less than two blocks away from work and you won’t freeze to death” the redhead begun “I’ll give Waverly a ride to the University so she doesn’t arrive late for her interview”.  
“Couldn’t you have done that with us in here as well?” Jeremy asked “it’s not like it would much of a difference if we got there thirty minutes or an hour late”.  
“And I thought that was the plan all along” Wynonna pointed out “that’s the whole reason why she’s here”.  
“Yes I know” Nicole tried “but she can’t get there in the back of a police car” she continued “and I need someone to cover with the sergeant for me while I drive her there”. The detective hoped that the tone in her voice didn’t allow for questions.  
“I don’t want to impose, but that would me most welcome” Waverly said “I could really use a few minutes to get my groove on before the interview” the detective noticed the puppy eyes she was throwing at her sister.  
“Geez fine, whatever” Wynonna said while unfastening her seatbelt “Knock them dead baby girl” she said with a smile to her sister.  
“Good luck Waverly!” Jeremy said happily.  
“I’ll be back in a few minutes” Nicole said as she began to drive off.  
“Just get my sister there safe Nicole” Wynonna yelled “and on time!”

Nicole rolled her eyes at her best friend. Most of Wynonna’s angry attitude came from her need to annoy other people, she got a kick out of getting eye rolls. But truthfully she probably was one of the most caring people Nicole had ever crossed paths with. And she didn’t care only for her friends and family, Wynonna made it her mission to look after everyone, even though she put just as much effort in looking somewhat indifferent and displeased while doing it. Nicole knew that she hadn’t been at all pissed off by her decision to drop them off in the middle of the street in order to attend to Waverly’s needs. As much as she tried to sound composed, the woman was anxious about what would happen in Purgatory University, and if she could do anything to help her sister’s case then she would. That was why the detective could bet she would be offered a few shots on Wynonna the next time they went to Shorty’s. That was her modus operandi and the detective knew she didn’t have to worry about her best friend. Nevertheless, the redhead quickly realized that it was the other Earp she had to worry about.

Much like she had done to the brunette moments before, Nicole felt Waverly’s eyes on her. She supposed the woman was most likely trying to determine what were the detective’s intentions with the stunt she had pulled. The redhead knew that the Earp woman was staring at her intently, she could feel the piercing gaze on her like, weighing her, inspecting her, analyzing every inch of her. Nicole felt the urge to look back growing fast inside of her. She wanted to return the staring, she wanted to look inside the other woman’s eyes and give her an ocean of possibilities and an indecipherable facade, and she wanted Waverly to keep trying to figure her out. But in reality, Nicole knew that the moment she locked eyes with Waverly she would be read like a child’s book. Truth was, the detective did not have a secret agenda, all she wanted was to get the historian to her interview. But she wanted to make the most of their time together because as soon as Waverly walked out of that car, Nicole’s heart would long for its missing piece.

The detective tried very hard to stick to her decision to not look back at the woman sitting by her side, regardless of how hard and tempting it got but eventually she heard the flipping of pages coming from the passenger side and she couldn’t help but to sneak a peek at her. Waverly’s attention had returned to the binder, biting down on her pen, the historian seemed to have moved on from the cryptic detective. Nicole took that chance to take in more of her. The Earp woman looked good in her brown trench coat, white blouse and long black skirt. Those and the way her hair was tied in a high bun along with the red glasses she somehow had managed to match with her lipstick color made her look effortlessly yet completely professional. The detective didn’t have much to compare on the topic of university professors style or historian fashion, but she knew Waverly had most definitely brought her A game, dressed for the job she wanted. Not that Nicole was a fair judge to that case, she was pretty much a biased one, but she was certain the woman would impress every single person inside Purgatory University.

“I don’t get you” Waverly said, pulling the detective out of her thoughts.  
“I beg your pardon?” Nicole asked.  
“You’ve ignored my texts and now you’re being all nice to me?” The brunette said pointblank.  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude” the detective said apologetically “but I really needed to figure some stuff out and you’re too tempting” she confessed.  
“And have you?” Waverly asked “Figured them out?”  
“No” Nicole answered with a smile.  
“So what’s changed then?” The Earp woman asked curiously.  
“Nothing. You’re just too tempting” the detective laughed. “But really, I wanted to make sure you got to your interview. I know how much this opportunity could mean to you”.  
“Because of my sister you mean” Waverly stated.  
“That too, but because I remember you saying it’s a great opportunity to further your studies.” Nicole shrugged. “It’s quite clear how passionate you are about it and if I can help you in any way, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you”.  
“You don’t play fair Detective Haught” she shook her head “I’m trying to behave here and you’re making it so hard for me with your smooth talk” she said with a grin “you’re offering everything and here I am, thinking about a couple of things I’d like you to do to me”.  
“For” Nicole corrected her even though she knew it was a deliberate mistake.  
“Whatever you say Haught” Waverly smiled.  
“I didn’t mean to be a distraction” the detective said as she noticed how close they were to the university “you should focus on yourself and your work and I was just trying to get you here with the least amount of distractions and stress”.  
“I’ve been preparing for this interview for over a month now Nicole, I think if I do as much as look at that binder again I’ll lose it” Waverly pointed out “you’re more than a welcomed distraction” she said in a bittersweet way that immediately caught the redhead’s attention.  
“Waves” the detective picked up just how stressed the other woman was “you know you’re going to nail this interview right?”  
“I don’t know that” she confessed “I mean, I didn’t care much for this place before you know? It was just another option and it wasn’t even top on that list” she said.  
“And now?” The detective encouraged her.  
“It’s not like Purgatory suddenly became this amazing place, but I’ve been here for a while now and I’m finally starting to see this place in a different light” Waverly turned to the detective “my family is here and my future” she stopped for a second “could be here as well”.  
“Waves, you’re amazing” Nicole said as she parked in front of the history building “I’ve seen your research and I’ve heard you talking about it, there’s no one more committed to it then you, and they’ll see this” she continued “and even if you don’t get the job, your family and your friends won’t go anywhere” she smiled “and you could probably work at Shorty’s if you flunk this interview, I can make some calls”.  
“This is serious Nicole!” The Earp said but couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her lips.  
“I know and you know you won’t need me to make calls for you, you’re going to nail this.” The detective took Waverly’s hand in hers and kissed it gently before continuing. “Tonight I’m taking you out to dance and have fun, and we can calibrate the amount of alcohol we’ll drink based on how this interview goes. How does that sound?” She asked.  
“Sounds like a date Detective Haught” Waverly smiled.

Nicole hesitantly let go of Waverly’s hand. They stared at each other in silence for a few minutes, none of them feeling the need to talk and simply enjoying each other’s company. The detective didn’t care for much more in that moment. The heater kept their bodies warm from the cold weather but the warmth in her heart came exclusively from the genuinely happy smile planted on Waverly’s face. They said their goodbyes with a hug and a kiss on the cheek and the detective unabashedly watched as the brunette walked away from the police car. The redhead put the keys in the ignition and started driving to work as soon as she saw the other woman walking into the building. She stood tall and confident and there was no doubt in the detective’s mind that she would get the job. Nicole smiled. Whatever it was that they had, that they were, had been good enough to ease the historian’s mind. And for better or for worse they’d see each other again that night and their relationship would be there either to rejoice on the Earp woman’s success or to soften her disappointment. As Nicole drove away she realized that her heart did not hurt because Waverly wasn’t there, instead, it beat more vividly because it knew it would be complete again.


	10. I Didn’t Just Come Here to Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first things first, this was not supposed to be this long at all. I’m not usually a fan of long chapters and whenever I write something this big I try to split it, but this turned out to be impossible to split. If you guys don’t like big chapters, I’m sorry but if you do yay.  
> Since we do not have a lot of backstory for Eliza, I took the liberty to use Tamsin from Lost Girl (played by the same actress and it’s also a show from Emily) and went on from there.  
> This is my favorite chapter so far and it was so much fun writing it! I wholeheartedly cannot wait to see what you guys think of it everything that happens. So hit me up here or on my tumblr with your thoughts and opinions.  
> Also, huge thanks to my amazing beta, who’s always encouraging and always listens to me when i’m having a hard case of writer’s block.
> 
> Without further ado, enjoy.

Nicole observed the rim of her glass, the salty mix messily dripping through it. Twenty minutes earlier, the detective had walked into the club and immediately ordered the first casual drink she could think off, a classic margarita. The combination of the critic of lime and the sweetness of orange liqueur with the unique taste of tequila paired with a cocktail glass rubbed with lime juice and dipped in coarse salt worked solemnly as a social feature. The detective had ordered it as to not feel so inadequate in comparison to everyone else inside the club and the few sips she had taken of it were simply a distraction for her unrelenting brain. Nevertheless, she had no intention whatsoever of getting drunk, or even finishing that one drink, before Waverly arrived. She knew getting drunk around the woman wasn’t the best idea, it wasn’t even the last in the ranking of good ideas, but she had promised the woman lots of drinks and there was no way she could get out of that promise. Deciding then that the best course of action was to wait for her date to start drinking, the detective sat alone near the end of the bar, pretending to care about her long watered down and warmed up drink. 

For the night, Nicole had chosen to wear her hair down, using a fifteen minutes curly wand and ponytail technique, she had added soft waves to her long hair. The simplicity of her hairstyle differed completely from the boldness of her selected outfit, wasn’t for the redness of both. The detective worn a light red dress which highlighted the results of her peak physical condition, a welcome change from the not all that sexy caquis she had to wear to work every day as part of her uniform. The dress had a medium v neck style, that granted view to the veil of her breasts, and an above the knee length that, paired with the back heels she wore, made her legs go on and on for days, provoking and enticing. The daily push up sessions were clearly noticed as the detective’s arms were completely uncovered because of the dress cut, sleeveless. But it was the alternation between lace see through stripes and the light red fabric that made the dress as sexy as it was. The idea of having her bare skin so close and so visible, demanding to be touched and kissed, begging to have soft palms and hard nails on every inch of it, and yet being safeguarded behind the provocative see through fabric, made it all the more attractive

Because of its boldness, one wouldn’t have naturally assumed it belonged inside the detective’s closet. The dress didn’t seem to match at all her comfortable, practical and easy going persona, it made her stand out whereas she would usually prefer to go unnoticed. The clothing was definitely an outlier, something the detective wouldn’t have thought of buying herself. The dress had been a present from Wynonna. A few months earlier, every citizen of Purgatory had been invited to a huge, yet rather questionable party thrown by the Mayor to celebrate the prosperity of the city and the Earp woman had decided that it was about time her best friend started meeting new people, taking upon herself the responsibility to make that happen. The dress had cost half of Nicole’s paycheck and, as much as she tried to deny it, putting in on always made her feel absolutely confident about herself. Being inside that sophisticatedly sexy dress usually made Nicole want to have all eyes on her, to be seen instead of disappearing into the back. But on that Friday night there was only one person whose attention she wanted. 

From her secluded place at the end of the bar, where she pretended to sip on her margarita, the detective saw two familiar figures walking in through the front door. She gave up on her drink, asking one of the many bartenders for two shots and left the glass on the metallic countertop before hopping off the stool to make her way towards her guests. Nicole found them in line for the coat check when she finally managed to make her way through the already packed house. The snowstorm had eased a little throughout the afternoon, but the weather was still vicious, forcing even those brave enough to leave the house to do so under several layers. When she had planned the night, the detective hadn’t stop to consider the difficult logistics to get there at that time in the night, she only had one thing in mind then. But seeing her friends dusting of snow from their coats while trying not to harm their clothes and looks, she started to wonder if going to the club in the middle of a snowstorm had been the best idea. 

The couple handled over their coats and turned to the detective, the three of them clearly checking each other out happily. The boy wore a button up floral shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a carefully folded handkerchief on its left pocket. He also wore black ripped skinny jeans but his big fashion statement was the stylish black boater hat he wore over his gracefully combed hair. Eliza looked just as amazing as Jeremy, but unlike him, she looked like a woman with a mission. Her natural and effortless beauty was highlighted by a black dress with a slip on the side that showed off her beautiful long legs but it was her blue eyes, brightened by the light expertly applied make up that dared people to look away. On their own, they were outstanding, but together, the trio would most certainly snatch everyone’s attention inside that club. Even though the detective was taken for the night, she was sure both her friends would be taking full advantage of the spotlight. Nicole hugged them both and offered the two shots of tequila she had bought before running towards them, shots which they happily welcomed. 

“You look beautiful” Jeremy said after the burning from the alcohol eased off.  
“Nah” Eliza corrected him “you look jaw droppingly beautiful”.  
“Thanks” Nicole said shyly “but you guys look... wow” she bowed a little.  
“Little Earp has no idea what’s coming for her” the blonde said with a suggestive smirk.  
“Be nice” the detective warned, helplessly trying to avoid blushing “and it’s not like that anyway”.  
“How is it not like that?” Jeremy asked unbelievingly.  
“I second that!” Eliza exclaimed “I mean, for all I know, and by that I mean from what Jer told me” she pointed out “you kicked everyone out of your car this morning so you could get her all to yourself” she said.  
“Sorry” the CSI mouthed apologetically.  
“Not getting enough in the confines of the car, you decided to ask her out to the gayest club in the grand Purgatory area” the agent continued “so clearly” irony dripping as she spoke “it is not like that, at all”.  
“First of all, I really was just giving her a ride this morning” Nicole said defensively “it wasn’t a master plan to get her alone”.  
“Okay, fair” the blonde said as they moved towards their reserved table “second?”  
“She was going to have a very stressful day and I thought she might like to relax a bit,” the redhead said “I was being a good friend”  
“Okay, then how do you explain the dress?” Eliza raised her eyebrow defiantly.  
“You really did go all in Nic” Jeremy said “even I am tempted to buy you a drink”.  
“Oh shut up you two, we are all here as friends” the detective said “and I’d appreciate if you didn’t make it awkward for her”.  
“We won’t” Eliza promised “but please don’t kid yourself, you’re way more well dressed than I’ve ever seen you, no offense” she shrugged “and you can’t stop checking the door”.  
“All I got from this is that I really need to put in more of an effort” Nicole tried to deflect.  
“Little Earp is hot Nic, and if what we witnessed that day at the precinct is any indication, she’s head over heels for you” Eliza said “get out of your head and get the girl dude”. 

Nicole was about to say something in her defense when her phone lit up and Waverly’s name appeared across the screen. 

_Sorry I’m running a tad late. Was finishing up a really awkward dinner with my sister and Dolls, but I’ll be there in five. Can't wait to see you x. - Waves_

Overwhelmed with the purest emotions, Nicole’s heart stopped beating for a few seconds. She stared at her phone with a borderline idiotic grin on her face. Waverly was actually going to meet her there and more, she was looking forwards to seeing the detective after they had spent more than a few minutes together in the morning. That text alone was giving the butterflies in her stomach butterflies of their own. Nicole felt giddy. Her hands shook and her smile insisted in forcing its way through her red lipstick. The detective knew her friends were staring at her with curious expressions. By her reaction it didn’t take a genius to figure out who had sent the text. She’d usually care that they were looking at her like that because it would inevitably lead to them teasing her senseless, but she didn’t care about anything at all in that moment. Nicole had more pressing issues to deal with, the biggest one of them being the wave of anxiety flooding through her veins. The detective needed to remind herself to calm down and breathe and to not start running towards the door like a crazy chick, pushing the ocean of inebriated people out of her way and spilling the drinks of distracted customers in the wooden floor. Nicole needed to remind herself that Waverly was almost there and the night was as young as it was theirs. 

Eliza laughed loudly pulling the detective out of her internal monologue and forcing her to acknowledge the presence of her friends. The blonde opened her mouth to say something, probably remark on the detective’s smitten behavior, but Jeremy stopped her before she could let out one single word. Much like Wynonna, Eliza lived for teasing her best friends, her tongue was quick and witty and she exhaled confidence and sass in every breath. She had been the last one to arrive in Purgatory, even though the agency had kept a close watch over the task force since its initial research process, it took them over a year to put an agent on the field. Eliza had taken her time letting down her guard, but after an obscure event involving Wynonna, underwear and fighting, the Earp woman had dragged the agent to a game night at her place and that had been it. Once everyone managed to see through her layers, they all became friends. Eliza was loyal, protective, strong, passionate and, surprisingly, a huge dork. 

Waving off her friend, Nicole signaled for the waiter to bring her a drink. High quality eighteen year old whiskey, the same thing Waverly had been drinking when they first met. The detective had spent all afternoon thinking about their date, what she’d wear, what she’d say, what she’d do. Still, after hours of pushing her papers aside and blatantly ignoring her responsibilities, the best she could do was just wholeheartedly hope the other woman wouldn’t stand her up. Everything else she could figure out as they went, all Nicole really needed was Waverly with her. Like an apparition, the front door of the club opened up and the historian walked in. She wore a yellow silk crop top and black high waisted shorts. She was simply exquisite. Nicole wondered if she had captivated everyone’s attention much like she had done to the detective’s. She wondered if the other customers had stopped dancing with their partners or if they had stopped taking shots at the bar to look at her. She wondered if everyone’s worlds had suddenly stopped moving just because she appeared. 

Nicole thought that, similarly to the solar system where, pulled by gravity, each planet orbits the biggest and brightest star, the moment the historian walked in, everything changed its focus. Waverly was the sun, Nicole thought, she was the sun and everything else simply gravitated towards her. Much like the Earth, the detective was drawn to her sun, being pulled by an uncontrollable force, something much bigger than her was making it inevitable for the detective to not be attracted to her. Nicole wondered if everyone in there felt at least one bit like she did, but she knew better than to assume they ever could. She knew that the fluttering of her heart and the clouding of her mind was because of the bright smile and small wave that Waverly threw at her and only her. The woman had a magical factor to her that brought color to everything around her and certainly, everyone whose life the brunette had visited at any point of her life, had it forever changed for the better. Nicole knew that her life had started to change from the moment she had laid her eyes on Waverly, drinking whiskey straight from the bottle inside the Earp’s tree house. She could no longer deny the fact that her world shone brighter, the colors were more vivid, and the happiness... Happiness had a first and last name. Waverly Earp. 

The detective walked over to where the brunette was, taking her time to inspect as much of her as she could. Her yellow crop top was tight in the front and had back strings that kept most of her torso exposed. Nicole bit on her lower lip to avoid losing all her composure as the image brought back memories. Waverly’s beautiful long hair was braided into a crown with a few strands hanging loose on each side of her face. As soon as the detective reached the historian she felt arms wrapping around her neck in a tight embrace and a big smile forming once again in the corner of her lips. Nicole wrapped her arms around Waverly’s torso to pull the woman even closer to her before the hug was cut short by a random stranger drunkenly bumping into them. The Earp Woman smiled shyly, putting a strand of her hair behind her ear and Nicole felt an overwhelming need to kiss her. Hardly managing to focus on being a charming, respectful and great date, the detective placed a kiss on Waverly’s cheek before lacing their arms together. 

“You … are a vision” the detective said honestly.  
“Look who’s talking!” Waverly waved her hands around the detective as to prove a point.  
“I’m glad you’re here” Nicole said as she started to guide them towards their table.  
“You thought I’d bail on you?” She giggled lightly “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world” she smiled.  
“That’s good to hear” Nicole smiled back.  
“To be honest, this is the highlight of my day” Waverly said.  
“Oh no, the interview?” The detective felt anxiety starting to build up inside of her at the prospect of that interview going badly.  
“Nothing like that, no” Waverly placed a hand on the detective’s arm “I got the job”.  
“Oh my god, this is great news!” Nicole said hugging the other woman once more “this means you’ll stay!”  
“Yes it does, you’re stuck with me Detective Haught” she smiled brightly.  
“I’m not opposed to that idea” the redhead said “wait, if that went well, why is this the highlight of your day?”  
“Do you really have to ask Nicole?” Waverly looked inside the detective’s eyes and the redhead felt a shiver down her neck.  
“I...” she found herself lost for words at the unexpectedness of that statement. Thankfully for Nicole they had reached the bottom of the stairs that led them to their table, providing the detective with a new topic “We’re here” she exclaimed in a high pitched voice “Waverly do you remember them?”  
“Jeremy and...” she tried to remember the blonde’s name.  
“Eliza” the agent said.  
“Eliza, right, sorry” Waverly said “It’s so unexpected yet so nice to see you guys!” She tried to fake a smile.  
“Don’t mind us” Jeremy said “we’ll jump in at any opportunity to go to a gay club”.  
“And this is the hottest club in town so” Eliza said matter of factly.  
“Okay guys, enough chit chat, we’re here to drink, dance and celebrate” Nicole said picking up Waverly’s drink and handing it over to her then proceeding to pick one for herself “so cheers up guys!”  
“Cheers” they all said in unison.  
“Are you okay?” Nicole whispered into Waverly’s ears after their shot, noticing how the woman’s face seemed to drop.  
“Yeah I’m fine, I just thought it’d be just us tonight” Waverly confessed. 

Nicole blinked a few times, shocked. It hadn’t occurred to her the implications of inviting her friends over, in fact, for the first time since laying her eyes on Waverly she hadn’t purposefully tried to find buffers so they wouldn’t be alone. The detective had simply not considered it. Going to the club was something the three of them always did together, it was their thing. Coming from a city in which she was the very first openly queer person, Nicole never thought she’d find her peers. But only a few months after arriving in Purgatory, she found out about the club, less than a thirty minutes’ drive from downtown Purgatory, and a spark of hope was born inside of her. It was only a matter of time before she dragged Jeremy with her. The boy had a massive crush on both Dolls and Doc and was in desperate need of a distraction, while the detective needed a friend to tag along, making them the perfect pair. Eliza on the other hand was a surprise, they stumbled upon each other one night at the club and just like that she started joining them. At least once a month they’d go together or whenever one of them had business to attend in the area they’d invited the others to club, anything was an excuse to get together in there. So, without thinking much of it, acting automatically, when the detective decided to hit the club, she invited her friends to come along. 

Regardless, seeing as Waverly was genuinely taken aback by the unexpected crowd, Nicole couldn’t help but to feel a little guilty. Maybe she should’ve invited the woman to a nice restaurant or a museum, something classic that would allow them some privacy and time to talk and get to know each other better. The club had sounded like a better idea to celebrate her new job, but even so, Nicole thought she definitely shouldn’t have invited her friends as well. She knew they would’ve understood if she had done it. But in reality, there wasn’t much to worry about, in that case, three wasn’t a crowd. Eliza and Jeremy had their own agenda, the minute they walked into the club their eyes started scanning faces searching for a possible someone to take home, which would inevitably keep them too busy to even notice the other two. And even if the CSI and the agent decided to mingle with them, the detective had planned to focus on Waverly, and her alone throughout the entire night. Pushing aside the awkward situation, Nicole took Waverly’s hand in hers and laced their fingers together, playing with them as she signaled the waiter for a new round of shots. Their date might’ve started off on the wrong foot, but if it was up to the detective, it would turn around in no time. 

“This is one of my favorite places in Purgatory” Nicole whispered into the brunette’s ears to make sure she could be heard over the loud music.  
“I wouldn’t have imagined that” Waverly said.  
“And why is that?” The detective asked curiously.  
“I don’t know” the brunette started “something about a crowded place with expensive drinks and top 40 songs doesn’t look like your scene” she said.  
“And what looks like my scene?” Nicole asked.  
“Well, you’re full of surprises” Waverly smiled “but if I were to guess, I’d say staying in and binge watching cop shows with homemade food sounds more like it”.  
“Have you talked to your sister about me?” Nicole asked. That was pretty much how Wynonna would describe her, as she once put it, boring lifestyle.  
“Now that wouldn’t be very fair would it?” Waverly faked outrage.  
“You!” The detective shook her head amusedly. “But yes, that’s usually my scene alright but I love coming here, it’s liberating”.  
“I can see that” the brunette looked over at the crowd dancing like there was no tomorrow.  
“So, Waverly, would you like to dance?” Nicole got up and held out her hand invitingly.  
“I thought you’d never ask detective”.

Nicole intertwined their finger once more and blindly begun to guide them through the sea of people on the dance floor. Every two seconds or so she’d look back to make sure everything was alright with Waverly, and every time she did that she’d find the woman smiling at her. They tried a few different spots around the club, nearer and further away from the DJ, right in the middle of the dance floor and close to the bar, but every time they seemed to have found the perfect spot, they’d either get stepped over and pushed around or worse, they’d have people blatantly ignoring one of them and moving to flirt with the other. Nicole was half a second away from pulling out the tiny gun she carried around her ankle and shooting at towards the ceiling to get people to clear some space when Waverly pulled her towards a small empty space on the right corner of the club, right in between the bar and the dance floor. As if the universe had suddenly started working in their favor, the DJ started playing a new track, a remix of a pop love song. The lyrics were no short of silly, but as the beat dropped again and again, the detective found herself dancing closer and closer to the other woman. 

Despite the type of song playing on repeat at the club neither asking nor allowing them to dance as a pair, they loosely and excitedly moved with one another, towards one another. Nicole noticed her heartbeat speeding up, she could feel it pounding to the sound of the music coming from the huge speakers spread around the room. She had been to clubs more than enough times to know the power of sound waves and how they resonated through one's bodies, but as she felt her entire body tingling she wondered if it was all truly due to the remix the dj was playing. She knew better than that though. She knew that the lightless in her body and the speeding beats of her heart were a consequence of being around Waverly. So as they danced in that overcrowded club, Nicole couldn't help but to wonder which force of nature was stronger, the physical phenomenon of sound waves or her undeniable attraction to Waverly Earp.

Any other day, she would have had all the time in the world to overthink every little thing, but as the Earp woman slowly moved her body impossibly closer, moving her fingers to the nape of the detective’s neck to toy with the baby hair in there, all thoughts and questions were pushed somewhere deep inside her brain, forgotten. The burning desire started taking over slowly. At first it was a tingling at the top on her fingers, where they occasionally touched the bare skin on Waverly’s back when she twirled, it then evolved to a ragged breathing as the historian threw her head back, daring the detective to lean in. Nicole could barely contain herself when the brunette slipped her leg between hers, the shortness of her red dress allowing for their naked thighs to brush against each other, building the tension higher. The proximity to Waverly, the feeling of having her right there, so close she could actually feel the softness of her skin, so close she could feel the warmth of her skin, the minute distance stopping their bodies to touch once again was exhilarating, was electrifying.

Nicole put her hands on the historian's hips and started to lead them, swaying right to left, left to right. They began slowly at first, trying to find a rhythm together, the DJ played a song that urged their public to move faster, to jump and to forget everything and everyone else. But that was the last thing both women wanted to do then. With their bodies separated only by the clothes they wore, the detective could easily read Waverly's body language. She tightened the grip she had on the other woman's hips, her thumbs caressing her toned abdomen and igniting a fire where they touched. Nicole rolled her hips eagerly against Waverly’s leg and she could feel the other woman’s goosebumps, the hair on her arm standing up and the shiver going down her spine. Despite being barely able to control herself, Nicole had the upper hand, she had the brunette struggling to keep brazen while her heart pounded against her ribcage so hard that it echoed into the detective’s. The detective loved that dynamic, the mutual want and desire, the shared power. The redhead loved feeling Waverly having a hard time keeping her composure, to keep her body and reaction in check, and it was all because of her. The detective couldn’t deny how much she appreciated the always brazen historian struggling to remain poised.

The redhead led them, moving her body freely and inviting the brunette to continue following along. Nicole felt confident, she felt good about herself, and despite her previous failed attempts at dancing, the detective felt unstoppable moving around with her. She kept leading them song after song, drowning in the way she felt right there, with the woman she had so rapidly started to fall for. The redhead didn’t have to demand or to force her next move, like a book that she’d read a thousand times before, Waverly seemed to know exactly what came next. Through her every movement, whether it was a slide, a twist or a twirl of her hips, the redhead led and the brunette expertly followed. The Earp woman might have been the sun to Nicole’s solar system, but together they shone brighter and hotter, they were supernovas. She knew that eyes would be on them, but she didn’t mind being the center of attention, she had simply decided to let go of everything that usually crept around her mind and that had only grew more powerful in the previous weeks. The detective decided to ignore her worries, her troubles, her fears, her pain, her sorrows. Nothing else mattered.

As the redhead continued to guide them she felt the brunette pushing her leg higher against her. The tension building between them growing almost impossible to resist. Nicole saw Waverly looking at her with more fire in her eyes than she’d ever seen, there was a hunger that made the detective weak to her knees. The brunette bit her lips and the detective instinctively wet her own. She towered over the other woman and like a magnet pull, Nicole inevitably found herself tilting her head down, moving towards Waverly. Being this close to her, the detective could smell her perfume, it smelled like a fresh batch of tulips and it somehow reminded her of home. The detective smiled. She wanted this. She wholeheartedly wanted to dive in and kiss the other woman, and at that moment there was nothing and no one that could stop her from doing so, especially with the brunette’s eyes already closing in anticipation. Nicole mimicked her and moved to finally connect their lips again. Just then, a small figure hit Waverly, making her trip and nearly fall. 

“Oh my god I’m so sorry” the woman said sounding desperate “I’m such a clumsy person, I’m so sorry ma’am”.  
“It’s… okay” Waverly said confused with the sudden interruption. She took a quick look at Nicole and she was immensely thankful for both of the woman’s hands being occupied with avoiding her nearly inevitable fall, for the redhead looked like she could easily kill someone.  
“Are you alright?” The detective asked through clenched teeth.  
“Yes, don’t worry” Waverly said sweetly, trying to ease her worries “you caught me”.  
“Thankfully” Nicole said.  
“I’m so sorry once more ma’am” the woman said to the brunette “this dude kind of accidently shoved me and I ended up hitting you, I’m glad you’re not hurt” she continued “can I get you anything though?”  
“No, no. I’m fine, really, thank you” Waverly answered.  
“What about you ma’am, are you alright?” The woman said, finally addressing the redhead “Detective Haught?”  
“What are you doing here?” Nicole asked shocked.  
“Well, I work here, I’m a bartender” the woman said simply, gesturing towards her uniform “what about you? What brings you to this side of town?”  
“The club” Nicole said annoyed, it was the most obvious answer to that question.  
“Yes, of course” the woman noted.  
“Err” Waverly, that had been silent during their exchange, made her presence known.  
“Waverly, I’m sorry” Nicole said apologetically “this is Rosita” she wrapped her arms tighter around the historian before continuing “Rosita, this is my g..” she caught herself before the word slipped her mouth “my friend, Waverly”.  
“Waverly, Earp” the historian held her hand out.  
“I’m Rosita Bustillos, nice to meet you. I wish it were on better circumstances but still” she laughed lightly “I didn’t know there was another Earp”.  
“You know my sister?” Waverly asked.  
“Something like that” Rosita said.  
“I could ask you to clarify, but I know better than to do that” the historian laughed.  
“Rosita is Doc’s girlfriend” Nicole intervened before the brunette could think something misleading about her sister.  
“Again, something like that” the bartender said “anyway, I should get back to work, if you girls need something to drink hit me up, it’ll be on me, for the little accident” she winked.  
“That’s nice of you but you don’t have to” the detective said.  
“Whatever you say Detective Haught” Rosita begun “Waverly, was a pleasure meeting you, I hope we meet again sometime” she continued “and Haught, enjoy the rest of the evening with your…” she smirked “friend”.  
“I intent to” Nicole said annoyed with the tone used by the other woman.

The detective took deep breaths to recover from the unexpected encounter. Rosita had always rubbed her the wrong way and she couldn’t exactly explain why, the woman had never been anything other than polite to her, maybe a little cheeky here and there but nothing that would justify the feeling. Maybe it was the fact that she had appeared on Doc’s life out of nowhere, clearly interfering with his relationship with Wynonna, not that the Earp woman hadn’t done a splendid job at it herself. Or maybe it was the fact that she had a PhD in Biochemistry and Engineering and still didn’t seem able to get a job worthy of such degrees. Instead, she was always found working on dive bars or weirder places known for their sketchy customers. Either way, Nicole’s detective instinct raised several red flag when it came to the woman and she sure didn’t like the idea of her being around Waverly.

The detective felt eyes on her and immediately remembered that the historian was still by her side, her arms wrapped around her and making sure they were impossibly closer. An inexplicably protective act, maybe even jealous, although the redhead refused to think like that, but one that warmed her heart just the same. It was always just perfect to have the Earp woman so close to her. Nicole smiled brightly and kissed the top of Waverly’s head, taking it the smell of her perfume once more. She could curse Rosita for interrupting them, just when they were about to kiss, a kiss the detective had been longing for, dreaming of. But she knew it wouldn’t take them too long to find their moment again, despite the small set back the tension between them could still be cut with a knife. She thought that maybe, when she dropped Waverly off at the Earp’s house that she could get a goodbye kiss, something to hold on to before they could have a second date, then a third and a fourth. She could be mad at the bartender for the interruption, but for the first time in a long, long time, Nicole felt like didn’t have to worry because she had found something real. A girl that could like her back. That could love her back.

“Nicole” Waverly said.  
“Yes?” The detective asked with a silly smile on her face.  
“Are you alright?” The historian begun. “You looked pretty angry for a second there”.  
“I’m sorry, I just thought she had hurt you” Nicole answered honestly.  
“You caught me, you had your hands around me, you needn’t worry” Waverly pointed out.  
“Still, you could’ve gotten hurt because she wasn’t careful enough” the detective said, trying to remain calm about the incident.  
“I’m sure you would’ve taken good care of me, detective” the brunette said with a smirk.  
“Wouldn’t you like that?” Nicole responded, mimicking her action.  
“I would” Waverly said, moving so she could face the detective “now if I’m not mistaken you were about to lean in and kiss me”.  
“Was I now?” The redhead pretended obliviousness.  
“Yes” the brunette said “now let’s try this again”.  
“Whatever you want ma’am” Nicole said. She slowly leaned it, noticing how Waverly automatically closed her eyes and parted her lips. With an evil smile the detective closed the gap between them and kissed the tip of Waverly’s nose. “There, a kiss”.  
“You…” the historian said with a frustrated yet amused tone.  
“Wouldn’t want you to think I’m easy like that” her smile grew even bigger as she noticed Waverly adorably pouting “plus, you’re my friend right” she smiled, thinking about just how close she had gotten to jumping the gun and strongly labeling their relationship scared the detective.  
“Right, friends” the brunette said with an undecipherable tone.  
“Wanna go take a seat? Rest for a little while before we can dance some more?” Nicole proposed. “Then I can get us a few more drinks, I did promise you a lot of alcohol tonight”.  
“I think Rosita has me covered for the alcohol for the night” Waverly smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes like it usually did when she was joking or teasing the detective “but I could rest a little, yes”.  
“Okay”.

Nicole tried to offer her hand so Waverly could take it, but before she knew it, the woman was already walking towards their table. The detective couldn’t exactly explain why, but she knew somewhere along that conversation, the lightness between them had flickered. She wondered if she somehow had used the wrong tone or had made the wrong joke but nothing seemed out of the ordinary to her, they joked and teased like they always did. Even with the kiss, Nicole knew that it wouldn’t annoy Waverly, and it certainly wouldn’t make her act so different. Either way, the detective felt a bit of fear and uncertainty creeping inside her heart, tainting the overwhelming happiness that had taken over her till that moment. As she hurried to catch up to her date, Nicole tried to convince herself that everything was just in her mind, that it was nothing more than her anxiety playing an evil trick on her, making her overthink things and see something that wasn’t there. That it was just her brain trying to use her insecurities to sabotage what was a good date.

The detective noticed, however, that the coldness didn’t last too long. Before they could reach the table Nicole saw Waverly looking back at her and holding her hand out for the redhead to take it. With refreshed confidence, Nicole walked them to their table, where they found Eliza drinking alone. She welcomed them with a lazy smile, a clear sign that she was way past mildly inebriated, to which Nicole simply shook her head amusedly. The detective was about to ask for Jeremy’s whereabouts when the FBI agent pointed towards a secluded corner in the VIP lounge where the CSI talked animatedly to a good looking man wearing jeans and a very, very tight tank top. From where they were standing, it looked incredibly promising. Nicole took a seat near her friend and Waverly sat right by her side, resting her head on the redhead’s shoulder. Unconsciously the detective started tracing random patterns with her thumb on the brunette’s hand. The three women stood like that for a while, in silence, taking in everything that was going on around them and absorbing nothing at the same time, until Waverly excused herself to go get a drink. Nicole tried to offer to go in her place but the historian politely declined the suggestion, getting up in a swift move and making her way towards the bar before the detective could say another word.

“So, you two hum?” Eliza asked without turning to her friend.  
“Yeah” Nicole said shyly.  
“Who knew you had it in you to dance like that” the blonde said “should I have known that, I would have asked you out a long time ago”.  
“Because what the team needs is another messy relationship” the detective laughed lightly.  
“I’m pleased that you chose to answer with that instead of a downright rejection” Eliza teased her, to which she won an annoyed eye roll “but seriously, damn Haught!”  
“I didn’t think you were watching” the detective said.  
“Please, half the fun of going out is people watching” the agent shrugged “plus, the two of you were putting on quite of a show”.  
“She’s just” Nicole tried to find the words to express her feelings but nothing seemed enough “addicting.”  
“One taste and you can’t get enough of her?” Eliza smirked amusedly, it was her first time seeing her friend so taken for someone.  
“I don’t think I’ll ever do” the detective confessed.  
“I didn’t know you were so smitten” she smiled “Jeremy told me you were on the fence about her and I figured it was something about Waverly that made you so indecisive” she said “but it clearly isn’t a problem with her, as much as it’s with her sister, am I right?”  
“I just, don’t wanna hurt Wynonna, that’s all” Nicole said.  
“And why would you hurt her?” Eliza asked “I mean, it’s not her that you’d be dating, I don’t see how she’d factor in here then”.  
“I would be dating her sister, the person she loves the most in this world” the detective begun “and every relationship has problems, who’s to say those wouldn’t end up affecting their own relationship and my friendship with my best friend?!”  
“You really need to get out of your head Haught” the agent said “the three of you are big girls, you don’t need anyone to take care of you or make decisions for you other than yourselves” she continued “life happens to everyone and if things don’t work out, oh well, at least you tried to be happy and that’s all that matters” Eliza looked into her friend’s eyes “and if Wynonna truly is your friend she wouldn’t want you to miss out on an opportunity to be happy” she took a sip of her drink “or to make her sister happy”.  
“I guess” Nicole said.  
“So, why didn’t you kiss her?” The blonde asked point blank.  
“I was going to, fuck the consequences, but then Rosita showed up and she started blatantly flirting with Waverly and I don’t know, things got a bit weird I guess” the detective said with a shrug.  
“Rosita, as in Doc’s girlfriend?” Eliza asked surprised. “And wait, why didn’t you do anything if she was flirting with her?”  
“I’m not her girlfriend” Nicole said “she’s single and if people want to flirt with her and she wants to flirt back, who am I to tell her otherwise.”  
“Jesus Nicole!” The blonde slapped the detective’s arm. “This respecting and righteousness of yours is adorable and charming but c’mon she’s here for you or did you casually asked her out as friends?” She asked annoyedly, making air quotes on the last word to emphasize the ridiculousness of the idea.  
“Well I didn’t specify anything” the detective said.  
“Good god Nicole, go get the girl or someone else will! Damn!”

Eliza shoved her friend, practically kicking her out of the couch, forcing the detective to get out whether she wanted to or not. Nicole knew her friend was right, she knew that all along, but something inside of her always made her think and rethink things over and over again, always choosing to believe in the worst case scenario, the one that didn’t work in her favor. She thought it was better to be surprised than to be disappointed. Except with Waverly, the detective was starting to let herself believe in a bright future. But Eliza was right, she’d have to do something about it because a woman as amazing as the historian wasn’t going to wait around forever for her to make up her mind. And more than that, Nicole knew, with every fiber of her bone, that if Waverly gave her the chance, she’d go above and beyond for her. But just like that, just as she came to realize those things she saw her across the room. With both her arms resting on the wooden counter top of the bar, Waverly was kissing Rosita. 

Nicole hadn’t noticed until that moment just how much of her heart already belonged to the brunette, but seeing the bartender’s hand resting on the nape of her neck, pulling her in and kissing her, the detective realized that it was a much bigger part than she would have liked. She thought it was poetic injustice that when she was about to confess her feelings and jump in head first, when she was ready to put Waverly first, just when she was willing to risk getting her heart broken in many different way, she’d find her kissing someone else. The detective saw Eliza looking at her horrified and knew right away that she had seen it too. Both women had seen the exact moment in which the detective’s and the historian’s story diverged. Nicole accepted that she had simply asked for too much and it wasn’t anyone’s fault but her own, After all, she had said it mere seconds earlier, Waverly was single and she was free to do whatever she wanted or better yet, whoever she wanted, and as the detective could clearly see, she just wasn’t that person.

The detective took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She might have accepted her defeat but it didn’t mean she had to be okay with it, she was far from okay. Shaking her head, the detective laughed lightly. Ironically, the one thing she wanted to do in that moment, the only thing one does when their hearts are broken, was something she just couldn’t. Nicole wanted desperately to call her best friend who’d usually welcome her with enough booze to forget which planet they lived in and with promises to kick the ass of whichever woman had hurt her. But she just couldn’t do it this time. Attempting to pick the best way to reconcile her friendship with Wynonna and her relationship with Waverly, the detective had ended up damaging both. Deciding that the best she could do was to be alone, the detective picked up her purse, ignoring the hesitant hand that Eliza had on her shoulder and moving towards the door.

“If she asks” Nicole said without turning around “tell her I wasn’t feeling okay and had to go home”.  
“Nicole wait c’mon, I’m sure it’s not what it looks like” Eliza tried.  
“Don’t bother” the detective said “you were right all along”.

And with that she walked away. Nicole knew that she owed Waverly a chance to explain or to talk about it, however unclear and messy, they had a thing going on and talking was the mature way of handling things. Who knew, maybe Eliza was right, maybe it wasn’t what it looked like, maybe from where they stood and the angling it had merely seemed like they were kissing when they were in fact chatting. It wasn’t a long shot, they were in a loud club and most of the time people had to whisper into each other’s ears to be fully understood. Or maybe the kiss did happen but Rosita had started it and Waverly had been just about to push her away when the detective caught them. A lot of scenarios were possible, but Nicole couldn’t allow herself to think positively, to wonder and believe in those many, many possibilities that could mean anything other than what she had seen. She just had to protect her heart and avoid having it broken even more.


	11. What Happened Last Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to upload sooner but this took me way too long to write.   
> I hope you guys like it, and I can't wait to hear your thoughts and opinions.  
> Also, huge thanks to my amazing beta!

Nicole took yet another drive around the block trying to find a place to park. Her phone was ringing for the third time and she couldn’t find a place to stop for long enough to answer her caller, who was seemingly growing impatient by it. It wasn’t unusual for downtown Purgatory to be crowded on the weekends, honest citizens and criminals alike filled stores, bars and restaurants from Friday night to Sunday afternoon, but the streets would never be packed. Most of them took public transportation since they’d eventually end up getting to Shorty’s for a drink or ten, but because of the storm, the only option was driving or carpooling, which resulted in packed streets and zero parking spots. Frustrated, the detective cursed at herself for her decision to leave the house and get drunk at the bar instead of at her own bed.

As Nicole considered the appealing option of going back home, to her fully stacked bar, cozy sofa and warm fireplace the ringing died down. She thanked the universe for the silence that fell inside the car, the redhead finally having enough peace and quiet to actually pay attention to the task at hand. The detective saw an SUV pulling out of a huge spot just a few steps away from the bar and a bright smile appeared on her face. She thought that given the day she was having, it was good to celebrate the small victories. Nicole was finishing adjusting the car to the spot when her phone started ringing for the fourth time. The detective’s smile grew even wider and brighter upon seeing the caller’s ID.

“Hi!” She said excitedly.  
“Finally!” He huffed “Thought you had died”.  
“Don’t be so overdramatic, please” Nicole rolled her eyes even though her brother couldn’t see it “I was driving”.  
“That’s what speakers are for, but whatever” Nathan said and the detective just knew he too had rolled his eyes “I emailed you a cool link with a lion costume for Calamity.”  
“You relentlessly called four times just to tell me this?” Nicole shook her head.  
“Thought I was being nice, Jesus, it’s a really nice costume and it’s on sale so I figured you wouldn’t want to miss out on an investment opportunity” Nathan said defensively.  
“I highly doubt this counts as an investment Nate” the detective pointed out.  
“It’s an investment on your happiness” he tried “but now that you finally answered your brother and since we’re talking about things that make you happy” he emphasized the last word “how was your date?”  
“You are so annoying, I knew you had your agenda” the detective sighed. She knew that there was no way she could dodge her brother’s interest “it was great” she faked.  
“You’re lying” he said simply.  
“Fine. I’m driving to a bar at two in the afternoon” Nicole started “does this answer your question?”  
“What happened?” The Marshall said concerned.  
“She kissed the mixologist” the detective said.  
“Was she trying to get free drinks?” He asked.  
“Does it matter?” Nicole asked, shocked that he had actually thought that was valid reason.  
“It is an important question, drinks are important and expensive” Nathan said matter of factly “so, was she?”  
“I didn’t stick around long enough to ask” the detective answered.  
“Wait, what?” He asked perplexed.  
“I saw them, I picked up my bag and I left, simple” Nicole answered.  
“You’re telling me you actually dressed up” he said and the woman immediately regretted having asked for his opinion on her outfit “and then you gave up at the first hiccup?”  
“What would you have me do Nate?” She said frustrated.  
“Well for starters not leaving, instead you should’ve kissed her senseless, shown to her that whoever the bartender was, they were not even close to being as good as you” he said.  
“I suppose, but” she tried but her brother cut her off.  
“No buts Nicole, I didn’t raise a quitter” Nathan said firmly “now you go to her and show that woman just how good you are”.  
“Okay” she smiled.  
“Show her what she’d be missing out” he said.  
“Okay” Nicole said.  
“Dress something jaw dropping when you go to her” the Marshal said.  
“Okay” the detective repeated.  
“And call me more often” Nathan took his chance at annoying his sister.  
“I will, I will” Nicole smiled “bye Nate”.  
“Bye peekaboo!”

Nicole shook her head amused. That couldn’t have been a more typical conversation between them if they had scripted it. Nathan lived in Arlington near the US Marshals headquarters and was always extremely busy with his job. Nevertheless he never went more than a week without contacting Nicole, not even when the agency allocated him overseas. He had always made sure to check up on her and to do all he could to see his little sister happy, ever since they were kids. He was the oldest of four children whereas Nicole was the youngest, the seven years age difference between them never once affecting their relationship. Growing up, they would go together to the city fair, to hockey and basketball games. Nathan had been the one to teach her how to fight and how to shoot a weapon, he would scream the loudest in the bleachers during her softball games and would take her to the arcade after it, but most importantly, he had also been the most frequent guest on his little sister’s tea parties, actively choosing to hang out with her instead of the other two siblings.

That bond had only grown stronger since they left their childhood home thirteen years earlier. Nicole could still remember crystal clear the shouting and all the noises coming from the living room followed by Nathan putting all of their clothes and belongings inside suitcases and duffle bags before throwing everything into the back of their grandpa’s truck. She remembered him helping her put on her coat and carefully carrying her lifeless body to the brown car before turning on the engine and leaving everything else behind them. Ever since that day, Nathan had been the one that raised her, he became more than her big brother, he did everything he could do to ensure that Nicole wouldn’t ever need for anything, wouldn’t ever feel alone or unloved. And he never asked for anything in return. He gladly took up the responsibility of raising a teenager on his own, leaving his youth and early adulthood behind to become who he had to become for his little sister, and never backed down from it.

Nevertheless, Nathan was still Nicole’s big brother, the same one that had always called her peekaboo because he knew how much she hated it. As brothers do, he pretty much made it his life mission to annoy her. Whether it was to fill her inbox with a hundred emails with shopping links for cat costumes or to blow her phone with countless texts picking on her date, or better yet, lack thereof, Nathan was always finding ways to play with her. The latest chapter of his never ending mission happened the day before, when, in a desperate attempt to find someone to replace Wynonna on her pre date best friend duties, Nicole had made the mistake of FaceTiming him. Nathan had spent half the time laughing at her nerves and trying to get information on his sister’s date’s identity, and the other half failing miserably in actually helping her at all. 

The detective was still laughing lightly as she pushed open the double door from Shorty’s bar. Talking to her brother had helped ease her displeasure and forgetting the turn of event that had led her to the bar at two in the afternoon. She had spent the entire night trying to force every thought of Rosita’s lips pushing against Waverly’s out of her mind, but the more she had tried, the more those images had flooded every neuron of hers. She kept seeing the way the mixologist’s hands played with the historian’s hair, her fingers curling the few strands that had fallen out of her carefully braided hair as she danced the night away with the detective, and she couldn’t help thinking about Rosita tasting the high quality eighteen year old whiskey on Waverly’s lips. The same taste that was tattooed into the detective’s brain from the first time she tasted the malted barley flavor off of the same lips. The detective had spent her sleepless night trying to work through her sadness and anger, and it had taken just a ten minutes phone call from Nathan to make her forget everything, even if just for a little while.

The easiness, however, didn’t last long, just the exact amount of time it took Nicole to scan every face in the half packed room. Usually, the low life probable members of the Revenant Gang, that were frequent clients, were enough to make the detective uncomfortable and annoyed, however this time, it was the man behind the counter, the one that would always make Shorty’s feel warm that set her off. He looked up from the taps where he was filling up four big mugs and immediately flashed a bright smile in the detective’s direction, inviting her to the bar with a simple nod. Nicole looked at him. He managed effortlessly his old western bad boy style, wearing a blue flannel under his vest, brown pants and his classic cowboy hat that he pretty much always had on. A violent twist in her stomach made the detective want to turn around and leave. The redhead didn’t want to end up misplacing her frustration onto him, but she found herself without much of a choice when she heard the man yelling her name from where he stood.

“Miss Haught!” he said with a smile as the detective sat on a stool next to him.  
“Doc, hi” Nicole said, still wishing she had had time to turn around and bolt.  
“Not that I’m not glad to see you, but isn’t it a bit early for you?” He checked on the watch hanging on the wall behind him. “Is everything okay?”  
“Yeah, I just didn’t feel like drinking alone today” the detective tried to smile “plus, you have better drinks in here anyway”.  
“Yeah, first thing Rosita did when I hired her was to throw half my inventory away” Doc poured a shot of tequila and gave it to the redhead “she said there was no way we’d be selling sludge in here and that we needed better bourbon”.  
“She seems very smart” Nicole words dripped with sarcasm.  
“She’s the best mixologist around” Henry said and the redhead noticed how he actively chose to ignore her tone.  
“Ooh, I bet she shakes in all the right places” the detective tried to drown her growing anger with the tequila but her words betrayed her.  
“Anything you’d like to say Miss Haught?” He said defensively. “It sure seems like there is”.  
“I just..” Nicole considered what to say “I don’t get it, her, how she seems to get everyone effortlessly wrapped around her fingers” she decided not to explicitly bring up what she had seen with a certain historian.  
“Where’s this coming from?” He asked calmly. “She’s a very nice girl, if you just give her a chance”.  
“I don’t get a good vibe from her, plus she always keeps popping up everywhere, including in several of our cases” Nicole tried to stop herself from getting worked up “everyone knows she’s with Bobo and I don’t like her being around us”.  
“I see” Doc had a stern look on his face when he started again “she’s had a rough time and ended up on the short end of the stick but she’s not bad, in fact, she’s been helping our squad and our cases for a long time now” he continued “ask Dolls or Jeremy if you don’t believe me”.  
“What?” The redhead said confused. She had no idea that Rosita’s involvement with Bobo had anything to do with the Scooby Gang.  
“And I wouldn’t be so quick to judge Miss Haught” Henry poured another shot and handed it over to his friend “not too long ago I was riding with Bobo myself”.  
“Doc, look...” the detective tried to apologize for her explosion but was cut off before she could finish.  
“Tequilas are six dollars each” he said walking away and without turning around.

Nicole felt terrible. She knew from the moment she had laid eyes on Henry that if she wasn’t careful, she’d end up misplacing her anger from Rosita onto him and that was far from fair. In fact, if there was a completely innocent person in that entire story, it was him. Doc, who had always welcomed everyone with a warm smile under his neatly maintained mustache, who was the first to jump in whenever his friends needed someone, who never judged anyone based on anything other than who they were. The detective knew that she wasn’t mad at him, she knew that feeling was towards everything that had happened the day before, how she didn’t understand why Waverly kissed someone else and her anger was most definitely caused by and directed to the bartender. Yet, Nicole pretty much watched helplessly as she talked to Henry, unable to run interference in her own brain and to stop herself from offending and hurting one of her dearest friends as she unleashed, through belittling sarcastic remarks and straightforward mean accusations, the emotions weighing her heart.

The detective looked at the small glass in front of her for a little while, filled with the brownish Mexican drink, it carried more meaning than one innocent bystander could fathom. Being friends with the owner awarded the Scooby gang a very generous discount at the bar, usually a whole bottle of whiskey or tequila was given to them the second their stepped foot at Shorty’s, but this time around she was only one drink in and already had a tab going. The cold shoulder Doc had given her didn’t pain her nearly as much. Nicole held the drink tightly in her hand and chugged it in one go, signaling for a waiter to pour her four more, deciding it was best to swallow her anger and frustration with the burning of the tequila to ease its journey down.

Nicole glanced at her friend from across the room, where he sipped on his beer and talked animatedly with someone she couldn’t quite see. He looked much more relaxed and happy then when he had left her, Doc gestures while he spoke and his smirk was a constant when he listened to the other person. His attention was stolen when a small fight broke in close to the door between Pete and his brother. Nicole noticed Doc excusing himself from the conversation and starting to walk towards the altercation that was starting to draw in a crowd. He put his hands on his pistols around his waist and changed his relaxed features into a stern, disapproving look but as he walked past the detective, he didn’t even bother to steal a glance at her direction, making her heart ache. Nicole figured that was as good of an excuse as she could get to leave the bar so she lined up her tequila shots and drank one after the other, turning the cups upside down as she went. With the alcohol starting to travel through her veins, the detective reached for her wallet on her back pocket with much difficulty, but before she could pay for her drinks a warm voice behind her made her stop in her tracks.

“Put the whole thing on my sister’s tab” Waverly said to the waiter before turning to the redhead “hello”.  
“Hi” Nicole said weakly. That was most certainly not someone she thought she’d bump into.  
“I have a table in the back” she pointed towards the exact place the redhead had seen Doc mere moments earlier “join me?” She asked unsure.  
“I think I should head home” the detective tried to keep her tone controlled but was betrayed by her inebriated brain making her voice a little more desperate than she’d have liked.  
“Please, stay” Waverly said in a pleading tone, to which Nicole found herself unable to deny anything.  
“Okay” she said, and the butterflies in stomach started twisting and turning tirelessly as the brunette flashed her a shy smile.  
“So...” the historian started as they sat across each other on the somewhat secluded booth “I didn’t think I’d run into you here at Shorty’s”.  
“I could say the exact same thing about you” Nicole said “this is like a second house to us in law enforcers of Purgatory” she pointed towards a group of men and women in blue “plus I usually come for the friends and family discount”.  
“Usually?” Waverly asked curiously.  
“It looks as though I’ve been deprived of this privilege tonight” the detective felt another wave of guilt hitting her.  
“Put it on Wynonna’s tab, I heard she gets the biggest discounts over here” she laughed lightly and Nicole couldn’t help but to shake her head, amused.  
“Even if she didn’t, I don’t think she’d ever pay that tab” the detective said with a smile.  
“Probably not” Waverly confirmed. An uncomfortable silence fell between them as both women started pondering whether or not to talk about the elephant in the room instead of casual pleasantries.  
“So I wanted to talk...” they both said at the same time, making things even more awkward.  
“I didn’t see you leave last night” Waverly said as the redhead indicated for her to start.  
“Yeah” Nicole said simply.  
“I assume that since you’re here, at a bar, not twelve hours later, that you weren’t feeling sick, were you?” She asked and by Nicole’s refusal to answer the historian knew she was correct. “Why did you bolt then?”  
“Didn’t want to get in the way of your fun” the detective said sadly. For her surprise, the anger she had been feeling all night had somehow disappeared, as if looking at the brunette made her feel solemnly the pain of not having her. “I saw you kissing Rosita and took that as my queue to leave”.  
“You..” Waverly started “you saw Rosita kissing me” she emphasized the last word “and didn’t think to talk to me about it?” Her tone was serious. “Why?”

Nicole thought about it. She heard Eliza’s voice inside her head telling her to see past the seemingly obvious conclusion and give the truth a chance to come out because she was worth more than lies. She heard Nathan telling her to stop quitting at the first inconvenience because he had raised her better than that. She heard her heart, telling her to give Waverly a chance to explain. But the detective also heard her father, years earlier, telling her that she was utterly and absolutely unworthy. As much as she tried to hide that little part of herself, that completely broken part of herself, Nicole knew that she couldn’t help but to drag it out of its shadowy corner in the back of her mind from time to time. Whenever she had something good, something that made her feel special and worthy, she’d find herself self-sabotaging. Whether it was by doubting herself and everyone involved or by actively pushing them away, Nicole would always find a way to prove her father right.

Why had she really ran off without as much as a blink of an eye? Why hadn’t she listened to her friend and waited for an explanation or something? Why hadn’t she been the person her brother had taught her to be? She knew exactly why. In the middle of that loud club, Nicole had acknowledged that Waverly was a beacon of light in a rather dark place, that the brunette was someone that made her feel seen, made her feel special and notable. And by doing that, she had opened the door for her insecurities, for the part of her that believe she was not worthy of such a beautiful soul. Seeing the historian kiss someone else, even from a distance, with a dubious angling and an unlikely turn of event, she had chosen to believe she had been left behind. Nicole instinctively did so because it was what she was accustomed to, feeling lesser than everyone else, feeling like she deserved just that.

And with Waverly, those insecurities were stronger than ever, no longer creeping in the back of her mind but actively haunting her every thought. Waverly who was amazing, beautiful, funny, smart, strong, brave and bold, who could have anyone she desired. Who could have someone assured of themselves, unafraid to take the leap with her, brazen enough to entice her and unpredictable enough to keep her guessing at every corner, someone exactly like Rosita Bustillos. Nicole knew that her main reason for not even giving the woman her heart beat faster for a chance to explain was because it was easier to accept her defeat than to try and fight the voice inside her head.

“I just...” Nicole carefully picked what to say next, unwillingly to tell her the real reason “couldn’t face it I guess”.  
“I’ve been telling you this from day one” Waverly signed “we are both adults, and I like to think we’re mature enough to actually communicate with one another, right?” She played with the coaster under her beer mug for a few seconds before she continued. “You could’ve just asked me instead of leaving me there feeling like a complete idiot”.  
“Why did you kiss her then?” The detective finally asked the question that had been toying around her mind for over twelve hours even though she pretty much knew the answer at that point.  
“I didn’t” the brunette said somewhat calmly “I was frustrated and upset, not gonna lie about it” she paused for a second to make sure the redhead was paying attention “so I went to get us some drinks” she continued “I kept trying to yell my order and I guess she didn’t hear me quite right so she pulled me closer and next this I know she kissed me”.  
“She kissed you” Nicole stated in a low voice, close to a whisper.  
“Yes, and I pushed her away pretty much as soon as it happened” Waverly said.  
“I see” the detective tried to soak in everything.  
“What I really don’t get is why did you think I had actually kissed her?” The Earp woman said, her hurt finally showing in her worked up tone.  
“I don’t know really, but she’s hot and was flirting with you, being clear and sure about it” Nicole confessed “I just figured you were fed up with me and my hesitation and went for someone better”.  
“Look, I know you’ve got your issues and I don’t mind waiting for you to work on them” Waverly wrapped her hands around the detective’s “I get your hesitation, we all have baggage and I’m willing to wait if that was all that was holding you back”.  
“What?” The redhead asked, suddenly very confused about the turn of events.  
“I’ve been telling you and showing you this, that I’m up for the journey with you but you don’t see it” the historian shook her head sadly, as if all of a sudden things had clicked for her “you don’t see it because you don’t really see me”  
“You’re pretty much all I see” Nicole responded right away partially offended with the accusation.  
“No you don’t, not really” the historian pulled back her hands, focusing once more on the dissolving paper coaster “you see Wynonna’s sister” she laughed lightly “better yet, you see your best friend’s little sister, the one you accidentally had a one night stand with, that’s the lens through which you see me”.  
“Waverly, you can’t possibly believe that I see you as a simple one night stand” Nicole said anxiously “you’re way more than that”.  
“If you had actually given me a chance, you know, if you saw me for me, than you would have known” she said firmly but with a sad tone.  
“Would’ve have known that you didn’t kiss her back?” The detective tried.  
“That I would have never because I was there for you and you alone” Waverly said “I was at a most important job interview and all I could think about was getting to that club, what I was going to wear and what to do, what to say to you, how to wow you” she continued “I spent the whole day looking forward to be with you, to dance and have fun and you didn’t give it a second thought”.  
“I don’t think you’re being fair Waves” Nicole said sadly.  
“Can you honestly say that I am wrong?” The historian asked. “That you don’t see me first and foremost as Wynonna’s baby sister?” She pushed. “That if I were anyone else you would be dealing with this” she signaled between them “in the exact same way?”

Nicole wanted to tell her she was wrong, that she saw Waverly, that she only had eyes for her. The detective wanted to tell the brunette that she was on her mind all day, every day since the first second she had laid eyes on her. She wanted so badly to tell the historian that her sudden psychological insight had been completely wrong, but she knew she couldn’t. Not without lying to her. The detective hadn’t seen it until that moment, that regardless of actually having feelings for Waverly, feelings that were real and exponentially growing, she still saw the woman as her best friend’s sister just like she did that morning at the dinner right after their perfect night. The lenses were there and were actively getting in the way of them happening beyond the detective’s daydreams. Nicole could justify this as being a normal reaction because Wynonna was her best friend way before Waverly was her potential partner, she could easily justify it as being a normal reaction. But she could not deny it.

Nevertheless, knowing that she had brought pain and hurt to the historian made it nearly impossible for the detective to not do anything to try and help thus unintentionally she leaned closer to the other woman across the table from her. Nicole wanted to make it all stop, she wanted to make Waverly feel good however she could. The detective reached for her, her hands trembling unsure of what to do and her lips parted slightly open. She needed to touch the brunette, to feel her healing under her fingertip, to feel her smiling through a kiss, the detective needed the historian to know everything she couldn’t yet say. Because despite everything, every fear, ghost, every refusal and every insecurity, Nicole desperately needed Waverly to know just how much she meant to her. The redhead took a deep breath and closed the last few inches between them.

“Hey guys!” Wynonna said, pulling both women back to reality. “Surprise, surprise!”  
“Hi” Nicole said in a high pitched voice.  
“Is everything okay in here?” Wynonna asked upon sensing the heavy tension in the air.  
“Yes” Waverly said “we were just having a friendly conversation”.  
“Okay” Wynonna looked between the two before dropping the subject. “What are you doing here? I thought you’d still be out on your date.” She asked her sister.  
“Nop” the younger Earp responded “I was here to grab a burger and a beer and now I’m going home to work on my class plans” she picked up all of her belonging hurriedly.  
“Stay” Nicole asked “please?”  
“I really have to a lot to thinking and working to do” Waverly said dryly “we can get together when you have an answer for me detective” she completed before excusing herself and leaving the bar.  
“What was that all about?” Wynonna asked curiously.  
“Just...” Nicole sighed “it’s nothing”.  
“Okay then, it looked a bit tense here when I arrived but whatever you say ” the Earp woman said shaking her head “now since you’re here, let’s start a tab shall we?”  
“You’re six tequilas late” the redhead said sadly. She really didn’t want to stay at Shorty’s for much longer, but for the first time in what felt like forever, she was hanging out with her best friend and in that moment, that was everything Nicole needed.


	12. A Kindly Reminder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to start by apologizing for taking so long to update. I’ve been going through some big changes and I’ve been super busy the past few weeks, I’m going to try and update every two weeks but I cannot promise I’ll be able to do it. I hope you guys stick around anyway.  
> This chapter was not on my original plan, but thanks to the amazing feedback I got from the last one I felt like I needed to write this. So thank you for those of you who pushed me to do it, it was great.  
> As per usual, shout out to my amazing Beta who makes sure I don’t write a lot of nonsense! Please forgive any mistakes we might have not seen though.  
> I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on this one!

Nicole looked at the unsent text on her phone. She knew that looking at it would only make her more anxious but she did it anyway. The detective had written the text six days earlier, right after drunkenly leaving the bar with Wynonna’s help. She had discussed with her taxi driver whether or not to send Waverly a text and whether if it should be apologetic or angry, but she had ended up chickening out just before pressing play. The text read simply “I need more time” but it was more than enough to stress the detective out every time she picked up her phone. Nicole thought once more about sending it, she figured things couldn’t get any worse than the radio silence. Waverly hadn’t texted or called or even smoke signaled in almost a week and the detective assumed that was rock bottom. But even after acknowledging the possibility of a doomed relationship, the redhead decided against pushing it, just in case she still had one more chance. 

Sighing, she put the phone back inside her desk drawer where it would be out of sight and out of mind, at least until a momentary wave of boldness hit her. Nicole closed her eyes for a second and started massaging her forehead to try and ease a bit of her headache. The detective had so much on her mind with the whole Waverly storming off debacle and her unresolved fight with Henry that she couldn’t quite avoid the throbbing pain in her temples. To top all that psychologically exhausting situation, on Tuesday night, a body had been found on the outskirts of town, putting an enormous spotlight on the detectives’ work. Ambrose Dickenson, going mostly by Fish, had found his husband’s dead body chained and burned, a crime that even by Purgatory standards was something of a nightmare. Ever since, the entire precinct was on edge, the pressure for a quick and conclusive investigation adding even more stress to the already heavy shoulders of Nicole. 

“Wynonna” Dolls yelled from across the room, pulling Nicole out of her thoughts.  
“Yeah?” The brunette asked.  
“I need you to go down to the morgue and grab the autopsy report on Levi” the sergeant sighed “Doc was supposed to deliver it yesterday and I need it as soon as humanly possible.”  
“Can’t you just dial him and ask for it?” Wynonna tried, clearly uninterested in paying a visit to the morgue.  
“No, I need you to pick it up, otherwise he’ll give it to me god knows when and I don’t feel like doing overtime today or taking work home for the weekend” Dolls said, looking sternly at her.  
“Okay, alright I’ll go” the brunette said angrily. She was about to get up from her chair when Nicole had an idea.  
“I can go” she spoke, already getting up.  
“I’ve never seen anyone this interested in visiting the morgue” Wynonna said.  
“I need to talk to Doc about something and I figured I could spare you the trouble while at it” Nicole said.  
“Suit yourself” the brunette said, returning to her previous task.  
“Get it fast Haught!” Dolls said. 

Nicole nodded in agreement as she made her way to the elevator although she knew it would take her much longer to get back with the report than it would have taken Wynonna given what she had to do. She was thankful for having an excuse to approach Doc. After all, that had also been something weighing on her heart. The detective absolutely hated how they had left things on Saturday. Nicole had spent the entire afternoon at the bar with Wynonna but not once had the owner approached them to chat, or for anything at all for that matter. Not even when a barely sober Earp struggled to carry a incredibly drunk Haught into a cab in the middle of the snow did Doc show up to help. The detective knew it was her fault but she just couldn’t find a good opening, a good opportunity to approach him and explain herself and most of all, to apologize. Using work as a pretense to talk to him sounded heavenly.

The redhead had to squeeze herself in order to fit in the packed elevator. One of the flat foot officers had arrested an entire bar on the outskirts of town, keeping the entire precinct busy all day long with people coming and going. Nicole knew however that before getting to the basement floor all of those people would leave and she would find herself enjoying the emptiness of the elevator. The morgue wasn’t exactly a hot spot in town, civilians hoped to never have to visit it and officers dreaded it, only ever going to the basement when they absolutely had to. Not even Doc, the coroner and the person responsible for it, liked being in there. The big room was too white and too clean while having a smell that never really left the clothes. The several autopsy tables gave it a dark vibe that was intensified by the lack of windows and sunlight.

The mechanical recording called out the basement floor, announcing to Nicole that she had arrived at her destination. She held the doors opened as she took a deep breath, giving herself a few seconds to gather her thoughts. The detective heard an old country song as she walked the long corridor from the elevator to the morgue, the song growing louder as she reached the airtight metallic doors meant to keep the gory smell from leaving. Nicole found Doc sitting behind the computer, seemingly struggling to work with the machine as he cursed ten times in the spam of the five seconds that it took him to notice her presence. Without his warm smile, Henry fixed the collar of his lab coat and lowered the stereo’s volume before addressing his visitor.

“Detective Haught” he said “what can I do for you today?”  
“Sergeant Dolls asked me to stop by and see how the report on Levi’s body is coming along, he was expecting it by yesterday and he’s now growing impatient” Nicole said in a professional tone, still unsure of how to approach the real reason for her visit.  
“Well he’ll have to wait. I had everything finished and I tried to print it” Doc said “but as I clicked the buttons on this dreadful machine, the whole report disappeared” he continued “now I’m going over my notes and redoing it from scratch, so you can tell your boss I’ll try to send it to him tonight”.  
“Have you tried restoring the file?” The detective suggested even though she knew he hadn’t. Doc had the same amount of knowledge about computers as an elderly.  
“Tried what?” He said.  
“Well usually the computer saves a preliminary version of the file, it sort of works as a security blanket in case something goes wrong, like the going out or the user accidentally deleting it” Nicole said.  
“And I can recover the whole thing?” Doc asked happily.  
“You can try, you have to type in a few simple commands…” the detective begun “actually, do you mind if i give a try?” She asked, knowing it would go much faster if she helped him.  
“Please” he said, giving way for her to replace him. He watched the redhead working attentively, trying to understand what she was doing for the next time he found himself in the same situation.  
“There you go” Nicole said after a few minutes of typing and waiting for the file to be recovered “I don’t know if it’s the final version but it’s something at least, should speed up your work”.  
“You’re a lifesaver Detective, thank you so much for your assist” he said, without paying much attention to her, instead focusing on the file in front of him “the whole thing is here” he smiled “I owe you big time”.  
“It’s okay” Nicole used his opening to start the conversation “as long as you can forgive me for my behavior last saturday” she begun “I was out of line and I was completely unfair, you had nothing to do with my anger and I let it out on you” she continued “and I had no right to attack Rosita, I don’t know her well but she’s your girlfriend”.  
“I was taken shocked by your explosion, but it’s alright” he said.  
“I’m sorry Doc, I’m really sorry” the redhead finally said.  
“Forgiven and forgotten.” Henry said and for the first time since the bar he wore his warm smile again. “Now do you want to tell me what was really eating into your heart then?”  
“I…” the detective sputtered, taken aback by the question. She hadn’t expected him out of all people to notice her distraught and to actually ask her about it.  
“It’s absolutely alright if you don’t want to, I just feel like you might need to vent” he said sympathetically.  
“I actually do wanna talk about it” Nicole said.  
“I’m all ears” Doc pulled another chair, setting it by his side and patting the spot so the detective could sit.  
“Thank you”

Henry turned off the small stereo allowing the silence to take over the room. Nicole looked at him, sitting there, patiently waiting for her to start speaking her mind, but she had no idea of where to start. The detective always thought about things to the smallest detail, but ever since Wynonna’s party, her brain seemed unable to fully process the events. She had been having a hard time wrapping her head around everything that had happened that night and every night that followed, and it looked to her as if things kept unfolding without allowing her even a second to think about it. Ever since the party, Nicole had been moving in autopilot, trying to handle things as they happened and postponing dealing with the consequences for when things got quieter. Except they never did. Instead, the redhead found herself deeper and deeper into the mess she created.

The worst thing was that Nicole didn’t know how to let the turmoil out. Fuelled by her anxiety, the avoidance to deal with everything regarding Waverly turned into overthinking and to spending sleepless nights wondering about possible scenarios. And she didn’t know how to stop this endless cycle. The detective had tried avoiding the source of all the mess, but whenever she tried pulling Waverly away she found herself aching for her presence and inevitably moving towards her. Nicole also tried working her body to exhaustion, drinking herself to sleep and throwing herself into the Revenant investigation, all without the desired outcome, instead she ended up taking too many painkillers at night, drinking too much coffee in the morning and wasting too much of her time in dead end leads. 

Nicole was overreacting and she knew it. She knew what had to be done to fix all that. She needed to talk to Wynonna and to Waverly, but everytime she seemed to muster enough courage to do so, it all dissolved into yet another wave of overthinking, uncertainty and insecurity. The detective was overwhelmed and she felt incredibly lonely. Her best friend didn’t know what was happening inside her head because she simply couldn’t tell Wynonna that the root of her restlessness was her little sister. And the friends who knew what was going on tried to be supportive of her happiness, of her relationship with Waverly, while failing to ease her mind. She needed much more than incentives into bravely jumping head first into a relationship, regardless of how good those were. 

Having Henry give her space to talk about what was eating into her heart left Nicole speechless. She hadn’t realized up until that moment just how much she needed someone to simply listen to her, even if she couldn’t paint a clear picture of the unorganized mess inside her head. The detective had to take few deep breaths to keep her emotions from leaking through her eyes. Nicole felt an encouraging hand tracing soothing circles on her back. She turned to look at Henry who smiled at her, his eyes filled with understanding and patience. She still had no idea of where to start, but once she opened her mouth, the words started flowing like a waterfall. 

Nicole decided to start from the very beginning, telling the man how she accidentally stumbled upon a beautiful woman at Wynonna’s party and how she ended up being Waverly Earp. As she talked, the detective realized just how much more she had to talk about, whenever the topic was the historian, she’d find an endless amount of feelings and thought. And, regardless of how much she wanted to confide in someone, the redhead told her friend a summed up version of the whole story. The detective did not tell her friend about all the times the historian had pushed her buttons and excelled at driving her crazy nor did she tell him how Waverly made her heart skip a beat while simultaneously beating at the speed of light, how she effortlessly made the detective think about a future. She barely managed to stop herself from confessing how the world shone brighter whenever the historian was around and how everything seemed out of balance when she left. It was evident, however, how she did not say three little words that represented everything she felt, either it was from not knowing it herself or from actively refusing to say it, fact was, it stood out from her declaration. 

Nicole told Doc how conflicted she was between the two sisters even though she didn’t know for a fact how her best friend would react any of it. That was when she noticed the first few tears streaming down her face. Whilst talking about Waverly filled her stomach with butterflies, talking about Wynonna made her want to throw up. Nicole told Henry how torn she was between the pessimistic part of her brain that made her believe she’d eventually have to make a choice between the two sisters and the realistic part that knew things were not that doomed. What the detective didn’t tell him was how shivers went down her spine every time Wynonna came close to catching them or when the brunette tried to build a friendship between her sister and the redhead. Nicole tried to make sense of everything she feared when it came to Wyn, from the possible abandonment to the hatred, to the disappointment. And, uttering those words for the first time to anyone, even to herself, even a incomplete version of it, Nicole confessed that she feared her best friend wouldn’t think she was enough for her sister, a self analysis that the detective had made several times before. She went to use her sleeve to wipe out her tears when Doc pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and gave it to her instead. 

The detective proceeded then to telling him about the club. She reminisced about how beautiful Waverly had looked on her yellow cropped top and how her crowned braid gave her an angelic aura. Thinkking about her made Nicole smile through the tears, even though she still vividly remember how the night had ended. The detective did not tell her friend about the completeness she felt with the historian dancing impossibly close and how weak her knees went when she nearly tasted the whiskey on Waverly’s lips, but she did tell him just how special she had felt by simply having the historian with her. Doc heard her explaining how the night had gone downhill because the detective had lost her nerve. Keeping Rosita’s name out of the story, Haught told Henry how she had left herself believe Waverly had given up on her. Nicole spoke for almost an hour and Doc listened to all of it without saying anything but when she finally ran out of things to vent he filled in the silence. 

“That’s quite a tale miss Haught” he finally said.  
“I know” she responded sadly “so what’s your advice?”  
“I could say a lot, but I think you just needed someone to listen to you, for a start” Doc said.  
“No, say something, please” Nicole pleaded. She thought that maybe after pouring her heart out she could finally listen to one of her friend’s advice and actually understand it.  
“Alright miss.” Doc thought about his words for a second before starting “You have placed everyone in your life in a pedestal for this or that reason but you refuse to do the same for you” he continued “to see your worth”.  
“I...” the detective tried to interrupt him but he simply shook his head stopping her on her tracks.  
“And you’re doing the same thing to little Earp” he started again “I know she’s smart, funny, goofy, captivating and beautiful, but so are you” he smiled fondly at his friend “literary nothing and no one is and will ever be too good for you”.  
“It’s not that easy to see things like this” Nicole confessed.  
“Believe me, I know one thing or two about being scarred for life” he said “but nobody, past, present or future, has the right to make you doubt yourself, to make you feel that you’re not enough, that you’re lessen” he wiped the tears that started rolling again and kissed her forehead “You, my darling, you deserve the world”.  
“I think that’s more of a life advice than I was gunning for” Nicole giggled lightly, finding some comfort on her friend’s words.  
“I think you wanted a blueprint for dealing with the two most important women in your life” he laughed as well “and you’re the only one who knows how to do that”.  
“So you don’t think I made an unfixable mess so far?” The detective asked.  
“I don’t and, if you want, I can try and help you untangle this situation over whiskey and burgers at Shorty’s tonight” he continued “on the house”.  
“I would love to, but after the week I had I think I just need to sleep” Nicole said with a smile, she knew what his proposition actually meant “rain check?”  
“Absolutely” he said.  
“Great!” The detective said happily, making her way to the door.  
“The report miss Haught” Doc waved the file “that’s what you came all the way down here for” he winked. 

Nicole smiled like an idiot on her way up. For the first time in months she didn’t feel her mind running against an invisible and tireless clock, she didn’t feel the weight of the world crushing her shoulders. Instead, the detective felt light. Having someone listen to her fears and feelings was, on its own, freeing enough, but having Doc validate her felt more amazing and liberating than the detective could’ve imagined. She had allowed herself to voice her anger, her pain, her desire and her confusion, something she had been actively stopping herself from doing before, she had allowed herself to be vulnerable and the world hadn’t ended because of it. Nicole hadn’t magically figured out what to do about those emotions or how to properly communicate with Waverly or even, how to come clean to her best friend, but she had gained a new perspective on the entire situation. Henry had shown her that whatever happened she would make it out alive because the redhead was just that strong and resilient. 

Once inside the elevator Nicole found herself laughing at her reflection. Regardless of how light and calm she felt on the inside, her face was tear stained and blotted from all the crying. The detective knew she had to do something about it, not because she cared at how she looked at the moment but more because she knew it would raise countless questions from her friends and coworkers. Questions which would only stress her out and erase the lightness she felt. So with a quick stop to the bathroom, a few deep breaths and a lot of cold water the detective found herself composed enough to avoid suspicious. And an hour after leaving her desk to fetch the report for her sergeant, Nicole heard the mechanical voice on the elevator indicating the fifth floor. She dropped the file on Dolls desk without allowing him a second to address her tardiness and walked back to her desk, decided on putting in as much work as she could before the day was over. 

“I got you off” Wynonna said as soon as her partner sat down.  
“I’m sorry, what?” Nicole asked confused.  
“Yes, you don’t have to work tomorrow, I got you off” the Earp woman explained herself.  
“Oh! This is great!” The redhead said excitedly, she had unexpectedly earned a full weekend to rest and do nothing.  
“Okay so, this feeling, this excitement, remember that I made you feel that alright?” Wynonna said.  
“Why?” Nicole asked even though she already suspected where that conversation was going.  
“Because I need you to go somewhere with me tomorrow” the brunette said, earning an annoyed eye roll from her best friend.  
“Yeah, I pass” Haught said.  
“Wait, you see, I’m like number one on Purgatory High’s most hated list” the Earp woman begun.  
“I wonder why” the redhead interrupted sarcastically.  
“Don’t be jealous of my amazing accomplishment” Wynonna bit back “as I was saying before you so rudely interrupted, the school is throwing a party, a homecoming thing, you know”.  
“A reunion?” Nicole asked genuinely wondering if her friend knew that was the correct word.  
“Yes, the name is not important. What really matters is that because everyone hates me, I need someone to tag along like, for moral support, and who’s better than my amazing best friend?” The brunette said pleadingly with a pout.  
“You don’t have to feed me a line” Nicole rolled her eyes again “can’t you ask Dolls?” She pointed towards the sergeant that was focused on the Levi’s report.  
“Can you really imagine Xavier at a high school event?” Wynonna laughed “I think his head might explode or he’ll start spitting fire five minutes in”.  
“Okay, I guess you do have a point” the redhead shook her head “you win, I’ll go with you”.  
“Great! I’ll pick you up at seven then” the Earp woman said before returning to her work as if the conversation hadn’t happened at all. 

Usually, Nicole would be opposed to anything regarding high schools, having had her fair share of drama in one for two lifetimes. But with her renewed spirit the detective figured it would be a good chance to eat and drink for free while spending time with her best friend. She was an adult after all and a strong one, her fears and traumas from the past shouldn’t get in the way of her happiness.


	13. What I Need (for you to be sure)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, once again this is a huge chapter, I feel like I’ve been writing a lot of those lately. As per usual, it was not supposed to be this big but I ended up too wrapped up in the story to stop writing and next thing I know this happened.  
> Anyway, I really cannot wait to read your thoughts and opinions and hopes for the future. Next few chapters will be… interesting.  
> I’d just like to thank everyone who pointed out Nicole’s addiction, I promise that I’ll do my very best to address it on the following chapters and as the story goes. If anyone wants to talk about it and give me ideas and directions on how to proper address and write it, please come talk to me either here or on my tumblr.  
> Also, thanks to my amazing beta does way more than just edit what I write, but who also gives me a lot of inputs and support! You rock

Calamity Jane purred from her seat on the couch. The cat had been patiently listening to her owner rambling about how she needed to get new clothes because every time she had an event she couldn't manage to find anything appropriate, even though she had an entire closet full of options. Calamity had seen Nicole try several options before deciding on wearing skinny black jeans and a red plaid, a choice she always seem to ended up making, regardless of how much time she wasted trying to avoid it. The cat was incredibly annoyed but the occasional belly scratching she got every time the detective walked by her while pacing the room made it all worth it. Nevertheless, Calamity was starting to grow restless as her owner’s nerves started showing. The cat stayed in the room until the dark cloud around the woman became way too dark.

“Great” Nicole yelled as the cat ran away “I don’t need your help anyway” she sighed turning around to look at herself in the mirror.

The detective looked no short of stressed and tired. The bags under her eyes had softened with the night well slept, but it was still very clear the toll the past few months had been taking on her. After her talk with Doc the day before, or better yet, the reality check Henry had given her, the redhead had gotten a full night of sleep for the first time in a long time. She had gotten home around seven, ordered a tomato soup from her favorite delivery place and taken a warm shower to wash away all the dirt from the long and tiring day at the precinct. In her pajamas, she had eaten her dinner before making up the bed with her comfiest comforters and closing all the blinds, and to make everything even more sleep inducing, she had dug up an eye mask from deep inside a drawer. With an extremely relaxed body, a clear mind and a brand new perspective, Nicole had managed to push away every single thought and dream that crowded her thoughts, and had managed to sleep uninterrupted till ten in the next morning. 

Nevertheless, the second she opened her eyes, her whole body went alert, her heart beating fast, her breathing speeding up and her palms sweating. It seemed like everything she had done to get the weight off of her shoulders and to ensure calmer nights and days had been in vain as the redhead found herself fighting an inexplicable sense of urgency that rose inside her heart. The detective thought about texting Nathan, the one person who fully understood the deepest roots of her anxiety, but she knew he would still be asleep and she’d only make the poor man worry about her. Using an old technic she had picked up from one of her therapists, Nicole made a list of everything she could smell, feel and hear to try and control the anxiety attack that was sneaking up on her. The detective didn’t know why it happened. Not that she had ever been able to explain it, but despite her best attempts, she had woken up anxious and stayed the whole day feeling it creeping up in the corner of her mind.

Nicole had reluctantly gotten up and kept herself busy all day long trying to avoid the urgent feeling inside of her. She had cooked her lunch and dinner for the entire week, going as far as trying to bake cinnamon cookies for when she wanted a relatively healthy snack throughout the week. But even then, the weird feeling didn’t go away. The detective cleaned the entire house from top to bottom, washed all of her dirty clothes and cleaned the snow out of her driveway but still, nothing. Normally, keeping herself busy was an option to deal with her anxiety, but Nicole thought that, much like most things in her life at that moment, that was something she could not plan or control. Still, as she looked at herself in the mirror, she considered taking one of the pills she kept hidden inside her drawers, just to manage the anxiety a bit better.

“I really don’t think I should be this worried about a party, I’m just emotional support” she told her reflection “I’m going for the free food and drinks and for Wynonna” she sighed “I don’t know anyone there anyway, what’s the worst that could happen?”

Nicole noticed right there how utterly pointless it was trying to justify being anxious. She knew that the whole premises of anxiety were something completely vague and with little to no sane explanation. The detective shook her head. In addition to her irrational fear, she looked rather crazy having a full on conversation with her own reflection. Nicole decided then that she was as composed as she was ever going to be. The redhead checked her watch. She had a good half an hour before Wynonna was supposed to show up, which meant she had at least two hours to waste. She picked up a few of her fresh cookies and moved to the couch to try and find something worth watching on TV while she waited for her best friend. In Nicole’s experience, Saturday night’s TV wasn’t the best, in fact, for those like her that preferred the comfort of their homes to the bohemian scenario, all she could do was to wish for something good to be on or resort to streaming old episodes.

Ignoring her previous experience, the detective shifted through the channels trying to no avail to find something slightly worth watching. She momentarily chose a local high school hockey game to watch but the teams were so bad that it was making her eyes bleed. Record said that the Blue Devils, Purgatory High’s Men’s Hockey Team, were a joke, having won only one championship ever, and by the players’ clear inability to control the puck and score even the easiest shots, Nicole could clearly see why they had such fame. Having had enough of their offensive attempt at playing hockey, the detective decided to look for a movie or variety TV show, coming once again empty. Forced to accept the disappointing lack of content on TV despite it being on its alleged golden age, she moved on to an old episode of Criminal Minds she had started rewatching a few nights earlier when she couldn’t shush her brain enough to embrace sleep. 

The episode ended with an exciting rescue, with Reid figuring out in the last minute why the killer in question had changed his usual modus operandi. Nicole smiled brightly at herself at having figured out the ending way before enough clues had been presented, not that she would ever need really it. The story was unchanging, it was always some deeply rooted childhood trauma that unequivocally led people to do the worst things conceivable. The detective checked her watch and seeing as it was only eight, she knew she could start another episode with no problem. Wyn was supposed to pick her up exactly then but the woman wasn’t known for her punctuality. Nicole pressed play and her focus was immediately pulled to the events on the screen, that was until she heard her front door creaking open. She launched for the safe where she locked her gun when, much to her surprise, Wynonna walked it.

“Sup nerd” the brunette said.  
“Jesus, you nearly scared me to death” Nicole complained “couldn't you have knocked or rang the bell like a normal person?”  
“I assumed you gave me a key so I wouldn’t have to” Wynonna shrugged “plus, it’s not like I walked in on you doing anything, you’re just being your usual geeky self”.  
“I could have had company, you didn’t know” the redhead protested.  
“Nic, there’s no way you’d have a girl in your life without telling me, you’d die” she said nonchalantly “you’re only cool and brazen on the outside, you’re a mess when it comes to girls” she continued.  
“Can we just go? Nicole rolled her eyes, already making her way towards the door. “Are you coming or what?”  
“Actually I wanted to check if you’re okay” Wynonna said “you were crying yesterday after you went to the morgue and I figured you wouldn’t want talk about it at work, so I wanted to check if, well if you’re okay” she continued “and you’ve been a bit off for a while now, being all jumpy and always looking like crap”.  
“Thanks” Nicole said.  
“No, what I mean is, you normally are all composed and your clothes are all tight, but now you look tired and disheveled and you’ve arrived hangover a few times, it’s scary to see that, it’s worrying me“, Wynonna said, “I know I don’t always look welcoming and attentive, like I don’t even see what’s going on with other people, but I do care and I do notice, especially with my best friend. I didn’t say anything before because I was waiting to see if you’d open up to me when you were ready, but I had to say something after yesterday.  
”I’m fine.” The redhead begun, but suddenly stopped. That was the moment she had been longing for, a chance to talk to her best friend about the mess in her life, and she wasn’t about to let that slide. “Actually, I did something bad and I have no idea as how to fix it and I might end up hurting people at every turn because of it”.  
“You did something bad?” The Earp woman asked. “What did you do? Changed lanes without signaling?” She laughed lightly.  
“You know what, never mind, let’s just go to your stupid party and forget I said anything” Nicole said annoyed.  
“No wait, I’m sorry” Wynonna tried again “look I really doubt you actually did something bad, you’re the most righteous person I know and there’s no way you’d willingly hurt someone, mentally or other side” her tone was soft and understanding yet serious “but if you really think you’re hurting someone, just say you’re sorry for whatever it is that you think you did and I’m sure they’ll know you actually mean it. A genuine apology can go a long way”.  
“That’s the thing” the redhead begun “I’m not one bit sorry for what I did”.  
“If you don’t think you should apologize, then move on and leave your guilt in the past” she said.  
“But...” Nicole went to contest her best friend but she was interrupted before she could really start.  
“No Nic, no buts, ands or ifs” Wynonna said “you’re one of the best people I’ve ever crossed paths with, your heart is pure and good and filled with the best of intentions” she continued “every day you do everything in your power to make everyone’s lives better, and not just because it’s your job, you’re ... special Nic.” She took a second before uttering her next words “Despite seeing the horrors of this world, every single day you chose to be kind and I know how much easier it would be to just be bitter and skeptical” the brunette smiled sympathetically “so if you don’t think you’re in the wrong and you don’t think you have to apologize for something, then you probably don’t”.  
“Even so, I did end up hurting someone behind their back and I can only imagine how they’ll react” Nicole held back from telling the whole truth.  
“You can’t control how people react to things, that’s their choice, you just gotta work hard on making yourself happy and if anyone has anything against it, I have a gun” Wynonna winked.  
“Are you going to go crazy chick with a gun on them? Nicole smiled back.  
“That was one time okay?” the brunette rolled her eyes “but for you, I wouldn’t mind a redo” she smiled annoyedly. “Now, are you ready to go?”  
“Let’s go have cheap drinks on school grounds like the law enforcers we are” the redhead joked. 

As she closed the door behind her, hearing Wynonna laugh lightly, Nicole felt her anxiety vanishing for the first time that day. The shaking in her limbs no longer came for her built up nerves, instead they were the result of a joke among best friends. The detective put on her seatbelt and turned on the radio once she had joined Wynonna inside the red Jeep. She looked at her and wondered just how badly the woman would react to her having slept with Waverly once, and having kissed her a handful of times. The hopeful side of her believed that she would be okay with it. After all, the woman had just listed several of the redhead’s qualities and those should be more than enough to make her worthy of Waverly. Except she knew that, not once in a million years, would they have had that conversation if Wynonna knew the actual context, still, she allowed herself to hope for a few minutes. Maybe, just maybe, Wynonna would see her as a great partner for Waverly, one that would do everything to make sure the historian was happy and fulfilled. And maybe Wyn would even ignore every wild adventure Nicole had ever been on while single. The detective let herself believe she could be enough. 

The redhead watched her best friend tapping her fingers on the wheel as she drove through the snow covered streets of Purgatory. Nicole noticed around her best friend’s neck, barely visible under her dress, two military tags that she had seen before around Doll’s. For a really long time the detective had tried to make her best friend see how happy she could be if she stopped pretending to be cold and heartless and actually give one of the boys a chance, a real chance. She couldn’t lie she was secretly rooting for Doc a bit but what actually mattered was the shy enamored smile that appeared on Wynonna’s face when her mind was allowed to wonder, undoubtedly, towards the sergeant. Despite her badass exterior and serious facade, Wyn had a very sensible heart and when she allowed it to appear, when she allowed other people in, she showed the very best version of herself. The detective had learned through the years that, despite being stubborn as hell and more often than not adamant on her point of view on things, all it took was a nodge in the right direction for Wynonna to take a leap of faith.

Nicole shook her head amused as a realization came to her. For a long time, she used easy conversations and seemingly indifferent insinuations to put her best friend on the track of opening up, while at the same time having no clue whatsoever of how to do same for her own self. The detective had made a habit of dramatizing things too much, she always saw things darker and harder, therefore she struggled to see the light at the end of the tunnel. During her conversation with Henry the day before, Nicole had heard him saying exactly the thing she had taken so long to realize, that she just needed someone to listen and to stand by her and the conversation she had had with her best friend proved just that. Within five minutes of a redacted and secretive talk, the detective had figured out how to get what she wanted, and ironically it was surprisingly simple. If Nicole truly wanted to get Waverly, she simply needed to allow it to happen.

The detective’s self-analysis moment was cut short by their unexpectedly fast arrival to Purgatory High’s parking lot. Nicole pinned the car’s location to her phone’s map in order to avoid forgetting where they had parked it when it was time to leave, an awkward situation that had happened to them more than a few times. She opened the door and a wave of cold air hit her, making her appreciate her very wise decision to not go with a fancy or sexy dress instead of a comfortable and weather appropriate outfit. Sadly that wasn’t the case for Wynonna, who wore an impressively low cut red dress and was trembling furiously as she waited for the redhead despite wearing a coat. Together they made their way through the crowded parking lot, taking their time to analyze the variety of cars and gathering clues as to how Wynonna’s former school mates had turned out to be. There were simpler and fancier cars with plates from Purgatory and from other states, some looked brand new while others looked a mile away from falling into pieces, in other words, the parking lot for the reunion party looked mostly like you’d expect it to look on regular school days. Well, except for the shiny helicopter parked in the middle of the football field.

“Someone has to have made a deal with the devil to turn out that good” Wynonna said without waiting for a response.

Nicole nodded in agreement. Purgatory had some rich families like the Gardeners, but she had no knowledge of anyone having enough money to flash out a helicopter during a high school reunion. She was curious, but she decided not to dwell too much on it, in a city like Purgatory the likelihood of someone having that kind of economic power were the same as that person being involved with some sort of unlawful business. Following her best friend, the detective walked through the gym’s door where ambiance songs played smoothly and waiters kept the alcohol flowing. She noticed how despite the passing time people seemed to gather around in groups much like they probably did when they still were high schoolers. She noticed a couple of men by the entrance checking out every woman that passed by them, completely ignoring the ring on their fingers, which made her assume they once were the jocks. A small group combined of neatly dressed women and soccer moms’ sipping on their glasses of cheap champagne indicated those that once were the popular mean girl. There were five men incredibly well dressed proudly wearing a classic championship ring, which hinted to them being part the infamous hockey team. As for the rest, it was clear who was who, and it was even clearer just how detached and excluded Wynonna was from all of them. 

The redhead thought about her own high school experience, and how messed up the whole thing had been. For starters, it hadn’t been a common one. She had taken her junior year in the small town she grew up in with everyone she had studied with since kindergarten. But a couple of days before the beginning of her sophomore year, she was transferred to a huge school across the country where she knew absolutely no one. Even before her life turned upside down, Nicole had never been the popular kid, the one who had tons of friends and that had her own well established place on the social hierarchy of high school. She used to hang out with the nerds at the advanced science classes she took, with the jocks after school while they did warm ups before their trainings and she had even participated in the arts scene after a couple of theater classes. But she never really belonged to any of those groups nor did she have any real friend. With the exception of her childhood friend Sara, it was like everyone knew who she was but not enough to remember her name. 

Pulling her thoughts away from her highly traumatic teenage years, Nicole started scanning the room once more, trying to find someone that could have been a part of her best friend’s life at some point. That was when she saw her, right in the middle of a group of women wearing cheerleading clothes. Instinctively the detective smiled. She took a couple of steps towards Chrissy, hoping to surprise the woman who hadn’t seen her yet when she froze. Her friend laughed at something someone said and threw her hands around a petit woman’s shoulders, pulling her closer and bringing her directly into Nicole’s line of sight. Every one of the cheerleaders laughed wholeheartedly whilst Waverly, however, faked hers as to not upset her friend because her attention was entirely on the redhead that looked in shock at her. They stared at each other from across the room unsure of whether or not to approach one another. They didn’t have much time to process the surprise encounter when an oblivious Wynonna started dragging her best friend to another room. 

“I swear to God if I don’t find a fully stocked bar I’m leaving” Wynonna mumbled “the waiter wouldn’t let me take more than one half empty glass of whiskey” she continued “how much alcohol do they think I need to stand these people?”  
“Are you really trying to tell me you didn’t bring your own flask hidden somewhere inside this dress?” Nicole noted.  
“I did!” The brunette said happily before huffing sadly. “Fuck, I left it in my jacket at the coat check”.  
“We better hope the bartender doesn’t care about quantity then” the redhead said when they reached the improvised bar “worst case scenario you can try and flirt with them to get us better drinks” she giggled remembering Nathan telling her that.  
“I know you’re kidding but I will if I have to” Wynonna said while trying to get the bartender’s attention.  
“You didn’t tell me Waverly was going to be here” Nicole said.  
“Didn’t know I had to” the Earp woman replied without paying attention to her best friend.  
“Well if I’d known she was going to be here I wouldn’t have come” the redhead said harshly before correcting herself “I mean, if she’s here then you don’t really need me to keep you company”.  
“I didn’t want to impose on her” Wynonna shrugged “yes hi, I’ll have four glasses of whiskey, please bring them full” she told the bartender.  
“And what about me?” Nicole asked frustratedly.  
“Look I couldn’t use Waverly okay?” Wynonna sighed. “She’s been mopping for like a week and I wanted her to have some fun, I mean the woman just got a badass job and she walks around the house as if someone kicked her dog” she said “I tried to help but she won’t tell me what happened so I figured a night with her old girls could help lift her mood” she said.  
“And you’re not fun enough to do that on your own?” The detective asked.  
“I am, but reconnecting with old friends might help turning Purgatory into her home again, and who knows” Wynonna said “maybe they can steer her towards a good boy, I don’t know, maybe she just needs a one night stand to blow off some steam” she shrugged.  
“You’re unbelievable.” The redhead felt an anger burning through her at her best friend’s words “You told all of us that you didn’t want any funny business with her and now you’re trying to get her laid with some random... dude”.  
“Yeah well, you know just how great a meaningless no strings attached one night stand is” the Earp woman said “you’ve been glowing since my party”  
“That’s not...” the redhead wanted to confess just how meaningful the hopefully not a one night stand had been but she gave up, knowing how many questions that confession would raise “why vetoing all of us at the precinct then?”  
“We’re the law, we put ourselves in the line of danger every single day, the last thing I want is for my little sister to have to worry about losing someone else because of our job” Wynonna said “plus, I know all the dirty secrets, weird kinks and hook up stories, and some of you guys have some pretty wild memories, so it’s a no no”.  
“This is such bullshit” Nicole said frustratingly.  
“You’re so upset that one could think you were interested” the brunette provoked.  
“I...” the redhead found herself speechless.  
“I’m joking, I know you’re just trying to stick up for your friends at work and that’s honorable, although it’s not happening at all” Wynonna split the whiskey cups between them before saying “now let’s get back to the party shall we?”

Nicole couldn’t exactly form words, there was something about Wynonna’s joke that didn’t sit well with the detective, it sounded more like a warning than a joke. She wondered if somehow Wyn had figured out how she felt about Waverly but Nicole knew it didn’t make sense. There was no way she could know that when not even the detective knew what those feelings were. She shook the thought away, crediting it to her anxiety and deeming it inadmissible and tainted. The redhead however was not so successful in ignoring Wynonna’s carefully orchestrated attempt in getting Waverly a boyfriend or a boy toy. It left a bitter taste in her mouth just thinking about the historian kissing someone else, but it left an even worse taste thinking just how possible that was, especially with Nicole sabotaging whatever they had at every turn. To make matters impossibly worse, if Chrissy was on the job, then she would have no problem being the best wingwoman she could. The detective could attest to her friend’s ability in that department. If Waverly had had enough and had decided to accept the help, Nicole knew it was game over.

Taking generous sips of her cup of whiskey, the detective thought about everything else that had been said, and a spark of hope appeared in her heart. Even though Wynonna might have considered the possibility of Nicole having some sort of feelings towards the historian, she hadn’t even considered the possibility of Waverly ever returning those. So even if, worst case scenario, Wynonna knew Nicole was attracted and falling in love with her little sister, she didn’t really threatened the redhead as hard as she had done with the boys on the squad. The detective knew she didn’t have the best dating track ever, in fact for a long period she had wooed more women when the gang hung out then Doc and Dolls, combined. But Nicole decided to be thankful she wasn’t even really considered a possible threat instead of being mad that she hadn’t. After all, ego aside, it was much better to be overlooked by an angry Wynonna than being on the receiving end of her anger.

Nicole looked at her best friend drinking her whiskey and trying to believably fake interest in everything that was going on at the party. Wynonna was a great person, a genuinely big hearted woman and everything she was willing to do for her sister made complete sense. The detective considered Wynonna’s refusal to let anyone from the squad date the woman because of how dangerous the job of a detective was, especially ones deep into an organized crime investigation. It was justifiable that she would want to protect her sister from having to mourn a partner or a loved one in general, and the life expectancy of a law enforcer in Purgatory made death an all too real scenario. Wasn’t for the fact that Nathan was, himself, a US Marshall, she too would be adamant in him not dating another agent or a cop. That was something she could easily understand, and if she was being honest, she understood the other reason as well. Wanting the very best for her sibling was something Nicole understood.

Being okay with Wynonna and all she wanted to do to ensure her sister’s happiness and to ensure she built a home in Purgatory was something Nicole could do. She respected her best friend and she understood where the woman was coming from. But seeing from across the room as a tall man pulled a loose stray of Waverly’s hair behind her ear and noticing the historian tilting her head down and smiling shyly as he did it, that was not something she could be okay with. It was the second time that Nicole felt her heart breaking for the very same reason and even then she couldn’t help thinking that it was Waverly’s right to do just that, with whoever she wanted and that she had no right to be angry. The detective bit her lips hard to stop her mind from going down that rabbit hole again. She had learned her lesson and knew she needed to assess the entire situation before drawing any conclusion.

“Who’s that with Waverly?” Nicole asked pointing towards the two people.  
“That... looks like Champ” Wynonna said after squinting her eyes to get a better view.  
“Champ?” The redhead questioned, annoyed.  
“Yeah, he’s a cowboy and tried to get in the force like six times, he flunked every single test” the Earp woman said “not even I could’ve done that”.  
“Oh, he’s that guy?” Nicole exclaimed.  
“Yup” the brunette nodded “anyway, he sort of grew up next to my uncle’s farm and he went to school with us” she begun “he was crazy about Waverly since forever but we ended up moving to London before he got the chance to ask her out”.  
“And what about her?” The redhead asked.  
“Waverly was always too quiet to pay attention to him, and they are the complete opposite, she’s amazing and educated and he’s... well, not” Wynonna laughed.  
“So you don’t think she’d go for him?” Nicole pushed, finally getting to the question she actually wanted the answer to.  
“Eh I don’t know, but I support it if she goes for him” the brunette said “I’ve heard tales of his success and abilities on the dating department, and, I mean the guy has to be good at something right?” The brunette shrugged. “But let’s stop talking about my sister’s sex life before I throw up” she finished her first whiskey glass in one go “I think I see Mercedes over there”.  
“As in, the mayor’s widow?” Nicole asked surprised.  
“We were classmates and used to be tight, let’s go talk to her, maybe I can use our past to help with the investigation on her dead husband” Wynonna suggested.  
“Shouldn’t we go say hi to your sister first? Make sure she’s all good?” The redhead tried to sound nonchalant.  
“Stop cock blocking the girl Nicole” the Earp woman lightly punched her best friend’s arm “now let’s go!”

Nicole followed her best friend closely, knowing that she was still speaking to her but being unable to fully process it. She knew the woman was saying something about how she would try to get Mercedes to talk without the pressure of an usual police interrogation room but that was all the redhead could understand. Her mind was racing and she couldn’t get her eyes off of one Waverly Earp. The detective hated feeling like the woman was slipping through her fingers. Even if just for one night, seeing someone else’s hands caressing her arms and playing with the waves in her hair made her sick to her stomach. Champ took a step closer, standing mere inches away from the historian who continued to smile shyly. Nicole hated it, she hated seeing that smile being flashed towards someone else.

There was no denying that the detective was jealous, she was pretty sure everyone in that room who paid attention to her for one second could see that. She felt the anger mixing with the sadness and the hopelessness and it made her want to throw up, but there wasn’t much she could do about it. Nicole knew that helplessness she was experiencing was the result of seeing someone so close to getting the side of Waverly that she saved for those she fancied, that she had shown time and time again to the redhead. The helplessness was a consequence of the fear of losing and the anger of not knowing how to fight it without crossing a line between right and wrong. The bitter feeling came from knowing that the one thing Nicole could do was to take what she wanted, right there, in the middle of a crowded room, the only way was to embrace how she felt and ignore the consequences.

Wynonna tugged the redhead’s arm and introduced her to Mercedes who started telling the adventures of Earp and Gardner, the two most hated bitches in Purgatory High. Something was said about them banging the entire school and getting in trouble everywhere they went, but Nicole wasn’t even trying to pretend to pay attention anymore. Red flags were raised when she noticed Waverly carefully pushing Champ away. It was a subtle move but Nicole noticed how her hand was carefully placed on his shoulder, stopping him from moving further. The detective wondered for a second if that was actually happening or if she was seeing things that would justify her intervening, but as Waverly kept her distance from the man despite his charming attempts at getting closer, Nicole knew she wasn’t imagining things.

“Will you guys excuse me?” The detective said, interrupting yet another one of Mercedes’ tales and not giving them time to respond before she started moving.

Nicole made her way through every small group spread around the room. She pushed through people she’d run into every day in town while doing her groceries or during patrol, and she pushed through faces she’d never seen before. There were men in suits and in jerseys and some women wearing their most fabulous dresses while other wore their most comfortable pair of old jeans with baby food stains on them. The small walk from where she was to where she was going seemed a lot longer as she moved passed the bodies of former high schoolers. But Nicole was focused, her eyes seeing only the woman she loved and her heart beat faster and faster as she approached her. That close from Waverly, the detective could clearly hear Champ saying how amazed he was that someone so pretty could be so smart and she could see the historian’s eye roll at the statement. Nicole reached them before she had really thought things through and as both looked at her she had absolutely no idea of what to do.

“Hey baby” the detective said to Waverly, refusing to acknowledge Champ’s presence “I told you I’d be here”.

Nicole didn’t wait for Waverly to respond, she knew that the woman had no idea of what was going on and she’d end up ruining her rescue. So the detective did the first thing that came to mind, something she couldn’t stop thinking whenever images of Waverly invaded her thoughts. She wrapped her arms around the historian’s hips pulling her closer carefully, almost too scared that the woman would break or disappear if she moved too fast. Nicole closed her eyes and smiled as she tilted her head down, closing the short distance between them with ease and expertise. The detective didn’t have to think about it or how to move or anything, it was carved in her mind and with her eyes closed she was guided by memory. Waverly’s breathing hit her face bringing shivers down her entire body and before the detective got lost in that feeling, she closed the remaining distance and kissed Waverly. There was a short moment in which the historian didn’t kiss back, a small gasp left her lips in surprise but another second was all it took for her to give in to it. 

They kissed slowly, Nicole taking in the familiarity of Waverly’s lips on hers and how they tasted of raspberry and wine. She noticed how much they fit, how their lips moved in harmony and how despite the desire burning her insides, she still lost herself in the easiness of the kiss. Time and space didn’t exist anymore. Nicole gripped Waverly’s hips tightly, feeling the hardness of the denim and the smoothness of the skin exposed by the cropped top the woman wore. The detective felt soft hands coming to rest on the nape of her neck, toying with the baby hair in there, curling them around the woman’s fingers. The kiss felt exactly like it had felt the first time and the second and the third, it felt like home and belonging, it dripped with desire and longing. It was a wordless conversation that spoke volumes. Kissing Waverly was something the detective could never get tired of, it was something good and pure that she wanted more and more and more.

Without thinking about it, Nicole bit down on the historian’s bottom lip. Waverly’s legs trembled with the unexpected action and she held onto the detective, wrapping her arms around her neck hard, needing the proximity for more than just balance. The redhead’s heart started beating faster as she struggled to keep control of the situation, to keep control of her own body and its desires. Her breathing picked up when Waverly quietly moaned into her lips, begging for more contact, for more intimacy, for more of everything Nicole Haught. They were so focused on one another that they forgot they were in the middle of a school gym, with lots of people around them paying attention to the small spectacle. Not that Nicole would actually care much at that point, in fact she wouldn’t care if World War Three started and the entire planet collapsed into chaos, all she cared was with preserving that moment for as long as she could. But they were pulled back to reality by Champ’s cough.

Nicole pulled away slowly, not wanting the moment to end. She smiled like an idiot with her heart bursting with happiness. The detective noticed Waverly’s hands still resting on her neck and as soon as she opened her eyes, the redhead saw that the historian mirrored her bright smile. It was pure happiness. Nicole couldn’t help but to kiss Waverly again, just a quick peck, just enough to make her want to run away with the historian. With a final kiss to her forehead, the detective moved to stand behind the shorter woman, her jaw resting comfortably on Waverly’s head. The historian let her body fall onto the detective’s and Nicole thought she would not mind staying like that forever.

“Hum, hello?” Champ said, trying to get their attention.  
“Hi” Nicole said warmly.  
“Who are you?” The man said, clearly angry with the turn of events.  
“Oh, forgive me for the rudeness” the detective’s tone was filled with fake pleasantries “I’m detective Nicole Haught” she begun “I’m Waverly’s girlfriend” she said easily “I don’t believe we’ve met”.  
“I’m Hardy, Champ Hardy” he hissed.  
“Oh, I know you, you’re that guy that tried to join the force ten times, right? You’re sort of a legend” Nicole provoked.  
“Six, actually, but I decided to dedicate myself to the rodeo world again” the man said angrily.  
“That’s great, just try and be careful not to hurt yourself” the detective said “I heard rodeos are not for the weak”.  
“Stop” Waverly whispered to her.  
“I’m going to be fine, thank you detective” Champ said. “I didn’t know Waverly was yours though”.  
“Mind you, she doesn’t belong to anyone other than herself” Nicole begun “but I am lucky enough to have this amazing and brilliant woman chose me every day”.  
“I thought you said you moved to town like two months ago” the cowboy said, turning to the other woman.  
“I did” Waverly said before looking straight into the detective’s eyes and continuing “but it took me exactly five minutes to fall in love with Nicole”.

Nicole was taken aback. Wasn’t for the hold she had on the historian, she would have inevitably hit the ground. There was nothing but pure honesty in Waverly’s words, it was impossible to mistake it as a part of the act they were putting up. No. Nicole knew she had heard a true confession and she had no idea of how to react to it. The detective had imagined several scenarios in her head about everything that had happened and that was happening with Waverly. She had thought that maybe the woman needed someone to have fun and blow off steam with, or maybe she was playing the field or even that she was just trying to somehow piss off Wynonna. But not once, not even for a second, had Nicole considered that Waverly in fact had real and strong feelings about her, that the historian honestly wanted her for her. All of that went completely against everything the detective had thought she could get. Looking straight into Nicole’s eyes was Waverly, an amazing, intelligent, strong, special and beautiful woman declaring her love for the detective.

“I didn’t know you were a... uhm” Champ said “gay”.  
“You didn’t bother asking” Waverly smiled.  
“I suppose I’ll leave you two then” he said annoyedly.  
“Thanks for the talk though, it was great catching up” the historian said “I really hope you’re successful in you cowboy career, let me know when you have a rodeo in town and we’ll check it out”.  
“It’s okay” Champ grabbed his drink “tell Curtis to hit me up when he’s is back from London”.  
“I will tell Uncle Curtis that, he will love to chat with you about the ranch” Waverly said “It was nice seeing you Champ” she continued “bye!”  
“Bye Waverly” he said already halfway through the room.  
“Nicole, are you okay?” The historian asked.  
“Yes” the detective managed to say.  
“Not that I’m complaining but what was that all about?” Waverly asked.  
“I…” 

Nicole started scratching her brain to try and find an explanation to everything that had happened, from the kissing to the possessiveness but she couldn’t find anything. She knew jealousy had been the main reason behind her out of character action, and that the instinct to protect people had kicked in when she had seen how uncomfortable Waverly looked, but how could she explain that without expressing just how much seeing the historian that close to someone else had affected her. Nicole couldn’t. It was the second time that she had faced a similar situation and on both she had acted explosively, without thinking things through, without giving the situation a second to resolve itself. But that was it, whenever it came to Waverly, the detective had no impulse control, she’d speak in tongues and mess up everything, she’d jump the gun and ignore everything and everyone, she’d make a plan and think everything through and then would throw caution out the window with the blink of an eye. That was just it, Nicole had no default response when it came to Waverly because nothing could have ever prepared her to how the historian would make her feel.

The words were on the tip of the detective’s tongue but she just couldn’t bring herself to utter them, not when it would make everything real. Nicole couldn’t just flip a switch and start seeing herself in completely different light, it wasn’t that simple, no matter how many times her friends and her family tried. It took more than a few seconds for the detective to feel worthy of Waverly, of the love she had so honestly declared. Nevertheless Nicole’s heart belonged to the other woman, even if she couldn’t word it yet. The historian looked at her, expectantly waiting for an answer to her question, one that was written on the detective’s eye and that was spoken when they entered their own private world. The silence between them made the staring even harder to bear, it was nearly impossible for Nicole to deny Waverly anything, especially when her hazel eyes pleaded an answer. The detective kissed her again, this time because she wanted to, she needed to, and not because someone else made her do it. Completely overwhelmed by her feelings, Nicole had to take deep breaths to avoid breaking down in the middle of the kiss.

“What the hell?!” Wynonna’s voice pulled both women out of their intimate moment.  
“Oh shit” Nicole said, finally remembering her best friend’s existence.  
“Hey sis” Waverly said simply, without letting go of the detective’s embrace.  
“Care to explain what the hell is going on?” Wynonna said.  
“Well, first of all chill with the judgmental tone” the historian begun “and Nicole and I are da...”  
“I was helping your sister” Nicole half yelled, interrupting the other woman before she could say anything.  
“With your tongue down her throat?” The older Earp questioned angrily.  
“Well, yeah” the redhead started “I noticed that Waverly seemed rather uncomfortable with Champ’s presence and I came to her rescue” she continued “it didn’t seem to me like he was a man that took no for an answer so I did the first thing that came to mind”.  
“Was Champ really bugging you?” Wynonna asked her sister. “I’ll kill him”.  
“It’s fine, he’s more of an inconvenience than anything else really” Waverly said “I thought if I entertained him for a few minutes he would just give up and leave, but I have a feeling one of the girls put him up to it, so he wasn’t really giving up”.  
“I’m glad that Nicole came to your rescue then” Wynonna said.  
“Yeah, my knight in shining armor” the historian said “I’m thankful that she took one for the team” her words were heavy with venom.  
“Next time just try not to kiss my baby sister alright Nic?” Wynonna half joked.  
“Don’t worry, detective Haught doesn't have to kiss me ever again” Waverly spat “now if you girls excuse me I’ll go redo my makeup” she continued “I noticed you were chatting with Mercedes, go reconnect with your best friend” she emphasized “and I’ll see you in a bit”. With that she walked away.  
“Turns out you were right about Champ” Wynonna said “Nicole, are you with me?”  
“Yeah, Waves deserves better” the redhead said “do you mind if I go outside for a minute, get some fresh air?”  
“It’s cool, Mercedes is talking quite a lot, I think it’s actually better that I keep her talking to me alone” the brunette said proudly “I really think I might get some useful info from her”.  
“Great, yeah, go do that”.

Nicole tried to find where Waverly had disappeared into the ocean of people that suddenly were no longer divided in groups, but rather, gathered together as one single element in the dance floor. Someone had ditched the ambience music and had started playing the top hits from the turning of the millennium. Ironically, when N’sync started playing, the detective saw her, at the top of the stairs that lead outside of the gym and into the general school facilities. The chorus to Bye Bye Bye came when, after nearly sprinting towards the doors, Nicole reached the outside of the gym. The detective climbed it two steps at a time, running against the clock, chasing after the woman who was once again walking away from her. It was becoming something of a habit for them, running away and chasing after each other, the detective just hoped that at some point, sooner rather than later, they’d start walking together. 

Waverly leaned on the wall on the other side of the corridor, looking outside towards the filled parking lot. Wasn’t for the emptiness of the space and for the way the moonlight illuminated the woman, Nicole wouldn’t have noticed her standing there all alone, nearly hidden behind the wall of lockers. It was not the time to be gawking over her, but the detective couldn’t help it. The moonlight highlighted Waverly’s silhouette, her face was hidden in the shadows but the rest of her shone with the rays of light that hit her. It wasn’t an exaggeration to say that right there, in that moment, Nicole thought Waverly was holy. The detective thought that the historian wasn’t just a lighthouse helping guide the detective out of the darkness, she was the embodiment of everything good and pure, she was her angel. Nicole took a deep breath and started walking to the other side. 

“Waves” the detective said once she was close enough to be heard.  
“Of course” Waverly shook her head “what are you doing here?”  
“I came to check up on you, to see if you’re okay” Nicole said wholeheartedly.  
“I’m peachy” the historian’s sarcasm hit her like a ton of bricks.  
“Please don’t do this okay?” The detective pleaded. “Tell me why you bolted and what’s really upsetting you”.  
“You. You kissed me” Waverly spat.  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to kiss you without checking up on your first, but you looked so uncomfortable and I couldn’t just watch that” Nicole said all at once.  
“Do you really think I’m upset because of that?” The historian asked in disbelief.  
“You just said that” the detective answered confused.  
“No Nicole, it’s that you kissed me and I fell for it again” Waverly begun “you kiss me and I let myself believe you’ve figured things out and I hope that that’s finally it” a small tear fell out of her eye “but then you pull away, you take it back and it fucking kills me” she continued “and I fall for it again and again and again, the very same routine”.  
“I’m sorry” Nicole desperately pulled the other woman close, holding her in a tight embrace “seeing him with you, I just had to do something and I... ”  
“Wait, you were jealous?” Waverly asked.  
“I...” the detective hesitated for a few seconds “yes”. 

Next thing she knew, Nicole was being pushed against the wall, struggling not to fall with the unexpected movement. She felt Waverly’s lips crashing into hers, tasting of raspberry and tears. A kiss much more desperate than the one they had shared before. One that asked, that pleaded, that begged for any sign that it could lead somewhere. For every swirl of their lips, moving in perfect synchrony, Nicole lost herself more and more in the warmth of her heart and the unfogging of her mind. The detective knew she shouldn’t kiss back, she shouldn’t allow Waverly’s tongue to push against her lips, she knew she shouldn’t pull the historian’s hair slightly. Nicole knew that by doing all those things she would be hurting the woman once more because the kiss, the heat and the pull would end eventually and they’d have to face the same scenario that kept leading them to fall apart. It wasn’t as simple as the detective would like, neither denying Waverly nor giving in to her were easy things to do. 

Fighting her every cell in her body, Nicole pushed the historian’s shoulder lightly, breaking the kiss and forcing them apart. The detective dreaded opening her eyes, too afraid of she would find inside Waverly’s, too scared to see the hurt. She could easily understand where the historian was coming from, it hurt too much not knowing whether or not someone cherished you, and Nicole wanted nothing more than to kiss away that feeling. But even if she had moved past the obstacles that held her in place, which she hadn’t, the detective knew it wasn’t right to make that decision in the spot, without considering everything. Nicole felt Waverly setting herself free from the redhead’s embrace and heard her footsteps walking further away from her. A weight of impending doom weighed on her heart, getting heavier with every step the historian took, getting more urgent the further they were from each other.

“Don’t do that” Nicole said loudly.  
“What?” Waverly asked surprised, stopping where she stood.  
“It’s not fair that you put me against the wall and walk away without giving me a chance to speak” the detective said “it’s not so kind to leave”.  
“I’m not sure you actually have something to say” the brunette said, unable to hide the hurt “do you?”  
“I wasn’t ready okay?” Nicole begun. “I wasn’t ready for someone like you to walk into my life” she continued “and I was not ready to have to face everything that’s wrong about me and make decisions in a split second”.  
“No one is asking you to” Waverly said, walking closer to the other woman.  
“Except you are” the detective confessed “I’m sorry that I seem blind to your feelings, but you cannot push me to be ready”.  
“I am not” the historian argued “I told you, I’m more than willing to wait”.  
“So what’s this all about then?” Nicole pushed.  
“You ask me to be patient, and I am but it’s not fair of you to push me aside and then act all jealous” Waverly said.  
“I was trying to help you” the detective said.  
“I don’t need you to help Nicole” the historian snapped.  
“God Waverly, I know you don’t need me” she said.  
“I do need you, no, I want you. I want you to want me back, that’s all”. The brunette said.  
“Waverly…” the redhead tried.  
“I want you, okay?” The Earp woman confessed. “I’ve hinted at it many times and I even confessed my feelings for you but you don’t seem to get it, so let me say this with all the letter, I” she said “want” she continued “you”.  
“I know, and I want you to” Nicole said, closing the distance between them.  
“Don’t say that unless you’re sure” Waverly interrupted. “Look, whether it is because of Wynonna or because of your ghosts or something else, you are not sure or you’re not ready to say you’re sure” she said “and every time you try to say it, or better yet, you force yourself to say it you give me hope that you actually might” she continued “and this hope hurts too much” she wiped a tear “I don’t want you to not know and to not be sure or even to say that you want me just because someone else might want me as well, it’s not fair” Waverly took a deep breath “I’m done”.  
“Wait” the detective tried.  
“It’s okay, really, you’re not obligated to choose me just because I want you to, you’re free to make your decisions Nicole, just like I’m free to walk away from a situation that’s hurting me, from this situation” the historian kissed the detective’s forehead “I’m not going anywhere though, I’m going to stay right here in Purgatory and if you ever manage to say that honestly then I won’t hesitate to jump head first, but until then let’s just be what we really are okay?”  
“And what’s that?” the redhead asked.  
“I’m your best friend’s sister”

Nicole didn’t try to follow Waverly once she left. Instead she looked at her hands that hung loosely in the air, right where the historian’s face had been mere seconds before. She laughed sadly. It was ironic just how capable Waverly was of understanding the detective, even when she didn’t understand herself. She wanted the brunette, that was crystal clear and Nicole knew that the other woman was aware of those feelings, but by not being able to admit it with unwavering certainty and courage it shown just how little it mattered in the context. Waverly had so easily picked up on that and on why Nicole had uttered the words anyways. It terrified the detective, the possibility of losing the woman, so she would do everything in her power to ensure that it didn't happen, even professing her feelings. It wasn't fair though, it wasn’t fair to Waverly to put her in a situation where she couldn’t really believe the honesty of the words and it wasn’t fair to Nicole to force herself into something she wasn’t one hundred percent ready for.

The detective looked at the dark hallway. The upbeat music could still be heard from where she was standing, and she could imagine how everyone still laughed, danced and cheered with every new note from the song. But Nicole didn’t share the sentiment. She felt lonelier than she had felt in a long time and it wasn’t because she stood alone in a dark high school hallway. Nicole felt lonely because the second Waverly left, the second that the detective realized she had most likely missed her chance, that was the exact moment she knew without a shadow of doubt that she wanted the historian and that was ready for whatever it could possibly take to be with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it was so much fun writing this fic guys, I hope you liked it and more, I hope you liked how I chose to finish it.
> 
>  
> 
> Jk, imagine if I had actually done that. Next chapter will be a fun one I promise ;)


	14. What’s It Gonna Be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took waaaaaaaat to long to write. Dammit. I’ve been trying to finish it for over two weeks and I’ve barely had one second to breathe. But here it is, finally!  
> I can’t wait to see what you think of it, I feel like we’ll have long conversations over this chapter...  
> As per usual, I must thank my beta who’s a badass and who always push me to deliver the best I can.

“Okay so let’s go over it again” Eliza said “I’ll bring the chips, Doc will bring the burgers, Dolls is responsible for the hot dogs”.  
“I’ll bring the guac” Jeremy said “and Nicole’s got the cocktail ingredients”.  
“And as per usual, I’ll be providing the alcohol” Wynonna said happily “everyone okay with it?”  
“Hell yeah!” Everyone yelled excited. “Party!”  
“Nic?” Eliza said once she realized the redhead hadn’t said anything yet. “You good?”  
“Yeah, I’m just not sure I should go, you know, with everything that’s happened” the detective whispered into her friend’s ears.  
“Dude this is the first time we’re hanging out together in months, you can’t not go just because of a girl” the agent said angrily.  
“You know it’s not that simple Eliza, it’s not just any girl, it’s Waverly” Nicole said, the name making her smile automatically.  
“I know, I know” the woman said “she’s Waverly Earp, the historian you’re crazy about and the only woman you have absolutely no idea how to act around” she continued “but it’s not like I can do anything about the unresolved sexual tension between the two of you…”  
“Eliza!” Nicole cursed anxiously.  
“What? It’s true!” The agent shrugged. “As I was saying, I can’t do anything about that, but as for Waverly, I promise I’ll keep you guys from getting into any weird situation, I’ll physically stop any weirdness if I have to”.  
“That really isn’t necessary” the detective said “and I really do believe it’s impossible to run from the mess I’ve made” she continued “but you’re right, we haven’t hung out in a long time and I miss you guys”  
“Awn, I know I’m special and you can’t live without me” Eliza put her hand on her chest dramatically.  
“Jerk!” The redhead rolled her eyes.  
“Okay, but who knows, maybe it can be a good opportunity to start fresh with Waverly, maybe you guys can be friends?” Eliza suggested.  
“Yeah… No” Nicole said firmly “I’m going to the party, you don’t have to keep trying to convince me, but I’m definitely drinking half of Wynonna’s alcohol if I’m to stay the entire night around Waverly”.  
“Yeah, you could do that” the blonde hesitated before she continued “or you could try to stay sober for the night and who knows, maybe with a clear head you’ll think clearly and not act imprudently” she looked at her friend “don’t you think you owe yourself to at least try to stay sober?”  
“This might be a good idea” the detective said “but I don’t think anyone can stay 100% sober when hanging out with Wynonna at a party”.  
“Well, I’ll be your designated drinking buddy then”. Eliza said excitedly.  
“Meaning?” The detective asked curiously.  
“Whenever someone hands you a cup, I’ll chug it down before they realize you’re not drinking it”. She laughed.  
“This sounds like a terrible idea, but I’m down” the redhead said.  
“Great! I think it’ll do you good to stay completely sober” the blonde said before walking away.

Nicole shook her head amusedly. There was no way that would end up well, even if Eliza had a pretty high alcohol tolerance. She could already feel things going epically wrong for one reason or the other, either because the simple idea of being next to Waverly without anything to take the edge off brought shivers down her spine or because the idea of leaving Eliza in charge of her was not very enticing. And an incredibly drunk version of her friend trying to keep her sober without anyone else figuring it out was way worse. But the sentiment was way more important than the act itself, it was heartwarming to see someone trying to go out of their way to help her, even if it was just something seemingly simple. It always made her day to see that people actually cared about her. Luckily, Nicole had been seeing a lot of that from her friends the past few months. First it was Jeremy who casually started leaving fresh cookies on her desk, then it was Doc who stopped by her house every few days with food although he did use the excuse of being there for Calamity. She might have kept silent about everything that was going on, but they knew just how to be supportive without being pushy. 

That support was not so obvious with others though, especially with Wynonna. Wasn’t for the fact that Nicole had learned to read and interpret the little changes in her best friend, she wouldn’t have seen just how hard the woman was trying to care for the redhead. Nicole had noticed after the reunion that Wynonna was being more attentive towards her, as if she had picked up on how torn the redhead was, but she didn’t talk about it or asked for the redhead to tell her what was going on. Instead, Wynonna had passed on all of her new cases to her best friend, accepting the job of second in command happily, which, one could say, was something of a blue moon coming from her. The brunette tried to excuse it by saying it was only logical given how busy she was with her open cases and the task force, but the redhead knew better. Nicole knew that it was simply Wynonna’s way of keeping her occupied in order to keep her mind busy. 

The redhead knew that her best friend had cornered Dolls at some point and made him accept her decision without so much as a single protest. During Monday’s briefing, he had been furious with the suggestion but by lunch he hadn’t even dared to show one bit of annoyance at the distribution of tasks. However, Nicole knew that the man would have done it earlier if he’d known how much it helped. It felt good to see how much she mattered to her friends. For them, maybe those things were easy and common, like they didn’t have to even consider stepping in to help her, but for Nicole those things were short of simple and small. It gave her permission to be unapologetically her, with all her shortcomings, her mistakes, her issues, with the good, the bad and the worse. And with all of that she could finally allow herself to maybe push past everything holding her back from the person she could be, the woman she wanted to be with and the future she deserved. 

Everyone started parting ways and Nicole watched as they got in their cars and drove off, thankful for the work week being nearly done. She saw through the window wall that the sun hadn’t started getting low yet despite the hour. A small reminder of how close winter was from being over, bringing with it the warm and full of possibilities winds of spring. Nicole started gathering her things and making her way towards the parking lot. The detective picked up her phone from the back pocket her uniform khakis and typed a quick reminder on it.

_“Stop by the market and get cocktail ingredients”._

-/-

Nicole passed her hands on her shirt to smooth any wrinkles that might have happened during her drive to the Earp’s. She had spent a good half an hour ironing the denim shirt and her white pantsuit and an extra thirty minutes trying to choose the perfect jacket to go with all of that, choosing, at the end, her favorite one. Despite the evidence, the detective wasn’t anxious as per say. Of course her impending meeting with Waverly and everything that she had planned for the night were things that worried her more than just a bit. But it was the uncomfortableness she felt while standing on the steps of the homestead that truly scared her. It was a strange feeling, Nicole thought, to be standing in a place she had stood countless times before and feel nauseated. She felt more dread than comfort at the familiar sight and it put her nerves on edge. 

The detective had absolutely no idea as to what to expect from the night, she didn’t know when and how she’d cross paths with Waverly, if the woman would smile or frown when they unavoidably did meet, if she’d know what to say and how to be bold, if Eliza would come through with her promises when things surely got weird and awkward. Nicole had no idea if she’d manage to keep a clear mind through all of those unpredictable variables, and worse, she wasn’t sure she wanted to. All the detective knew for a fact was that it was becoming a habit for things to get out of hand really quickly, regardless of how much time she spent analysing, thinking and trying to plan for everything and everyone. Just as quick and certain as a blink of an eye, things would take an 180 degree turn, for better or for worse, and all that was left for Nicole to do, was to look as it happened. She shook her head to try and push the thoughts away. Taking a deep breath, Nicole double checked if her clothes were smooth and decided to hope for the best from the night, from her friends, from Waverly and most of all, from herself. 

The redhead could hear the song that was playing inside the house, they clearly had gone full on with the sound system. It probably was the one Wynonna had borrowed from the impound room at some point and had conveniently forgotten to take back. Instead, she used it at every chance she got. Party or no party. The perks of not having a close neighbor. The song was an upbeat country classic from a singer the detective couldn’t quite recognize, yet she was quite familiar with the lyrics and the chords. Nicole smiled brightly as she heard the unmistakable sound of laughter echoing through the walls over the banjos and guitars. The detective gathered her shopping bags once she was done composing herself. She had bought a wild variety of seasonal fruits, flavored sugar and of pretty much anything that could be used to make a cocktail. With a final deep breathe, the detective turned the doorknob and pushed the unlocked door open, welcoming the warmth of the house with a smile. 

Nicole took a look around, trying to get familiar with the surprising layout changes. It was the first time she had ever seen the furniture in different places for a game night. The first thing she noticed was that the small kitchen table had been moved into the living room to accommodate Doc’s huge ice box and a few too many beer kegs. Next thing she noticed was that seemingly every chair from the Earp House was being used around the table. The mismatched seats were being occupied by the other invitees who didn’t seem to care at all about it. Nicole recognized a greenish armchair near the back wall, she had brought it right after moving to Purgatory and had taken it to Wynonna’s for a movie night but had never taken it back home. She wondered if every other chair in there had been brought at some point by someone in that room. 

She wasn’t really late for game night but it seemed like her friends had already started with the entertainment. A poker game was well on its way on the table that once was in the kitchen. However, out of the seven invitees only three were still sitting. Henry, Wynonna and Eliza all had a pile of chips in front of them while Jeremy, Dolls and Waverly were not in the game anymore. Nicole wondered for a second if anyone had acknowledged her arrival but it didn’t take much to realize they hadn’t. The three players were completely focused on their cards, the sergeant, while with a displeased pouting, watched closely to the game from his place by the brunette’s side. Jeremy, being Jeremy, seemed more than content to sit eating his chips and guac while Doc taught him how to play. 

There was, however, one person missing from the scene. Nicole took another look at the small living room, naively expecting the woman to sneak up on her. She knew that she’d eventually run into her throughout the night since she was clearly the only in charge of the house preparation. But for all the built up nerves about meeting Waverly again after royally screwing up, it surprisingly hurt more not laying eyes on the historian than doing so ever could. The detective was hoping to see her at the beginning of the party so she could at least have a sense of what to expect, and in all honesty, Nicole just really wanted to see Waverly despite everything.The muscles on the detective’s arms started reacting to the weight of her shopping bags so she made her way to the kitchen to put them away before she could join her friends. Making her way through the house with muscular memory, the redhead was too distracted with her own thoughts to notice the petite brunette partially hiding behind one of the beer kegs. 

The loud noise and subsequent mess was what caught her attention. Her detective senses took over at the sound of a light bang, almost like an explosion, similar to the sound of a small gun going off. She dropped the bags on the floor and ran with a sense of deadly desperation towards the place of origin, behind the countertop. Nicole quickly found out that all the raised red flags and the adrenaline pumping through her veins were not necessary. What the detective saw when she made her way to the kegs was Waverly, struggling to contain the outflow of beer coming from a broken tab fixed on the metal container. The historian desperately tried to stop the waterfall from flooding the entire kitchen while struggling to keep her balance on the wet floor. 

“Bloody hell” Waverly cursed “Jesus, argh” she continued “just... perfect”.  
“I didn’t know we were having wet a T-shirt contest tonight” Nicole smiled “are you okay?”  
“Yeah” the brunette said “I kept telling Wynonna that this darn tap was not gonna work but she insisted it would” she picked up another piece of cloth to try and stop the mess “guess who was right?”  
“Want some help?” The detective offered.  
“Yes, please”. Waverly pleaded after realizing there was no way she could fix it all on her own.  
“This isn’t the first time this happens by the way” Nicole said while she wrapped a piece of cloth around the tab and tied it tightly with a knot “your sister is just too stubborn to get a new one”.  
“Typical” the historian shook her head “God. I’m soaking wet” she blushed furiously at her own words.  
“You better change your clothes before you get sick” Nicole said, choosing to ignore the dryness of her mouth at what she had just heard “here, you can have my jacket”.  
“Do you mind just, uh, turning around?” Waverly asked shyly.  
“Yes of course” Nicole did as she was told.  
“Oh! Oh crap!” Waverly mumbled almost inaudibly “Huh, detective, I’m stuck”.  
“Let me” the detective pulled the historian’s shirt with ease “there you go”.  
“Thank you” the brunette blushed again “good thing you’ve never seen me naked before or this would be really, really awkward” she joked while she struggled to cover herself with the detective’s jacket.  
“Imagine that” Nicole laughed.  
“I owe you one” Waverly said.  
“It’s alright” the detective said “I think we are far from being even”.  
“Maybe” the historian said.  
“Since were chatting, I’ve been meaning to ask you something” the redhead said, her tone dead serious.  
“What?” The historian asked.  
“Did you mean what you said the last time we saw each other?” Nicole said.  
“What do you think?” Waverly asked.  
“I.. hum” the detective begun but was interrupted before she could continue.  
“Nicole, there you are c’mon let’s go” Eliza said in a high pitched voice and winked at her “Waverly I’m going to steal my friend real quickly” she started pulling the detective away “I really love the jacket, it looks great on you”. 

Nicole thought about holding her ground, at least until she got an answer. But seeing as her friend restlessly pulled her arm, the detective unwilling let her drag her away from the kitchen. She tried to figure out exactly when the woman had noticed her presence since she was too absorbed in the game and most likely hadn’t seen her arrival earlier. The detective knew better than to assume that the blonde had lost the game that quickly, especially with the amount of chips she had. Nicole wondered if she had folded a good hand or dropped out altogether just to make sure there was nothing going on between the redhead and Waverly. Either way, the detective knew for a fact that Eliza was doing whatever she thought was necessary to keep her promise. 

Except, in that exact moment, Nicole didn’t want or need to be away from the historian. On the contrary. The impromptu rescue mission from a friend adamant on saving the other had, in fact, hurt more than it had helped. The detective wasn’t completely sure of whether or not Waverly was going to answer her honestly or even if they were on the same page about what was being asked. The detective wanted, more than anything, to know if the historian had meant the casual love confession. But she also wanted to know, despite her fears, if there still was something to fight for. Nicole needed to know if Waverly had actually given up on them. A semi inebriated Eliza smiled proudly once they made their way out of the kitchen. She clearly had acted solemnly with the intention of saving her friend from getting hurt. A rather noble gesture that Nicole was genuinely thankful for. Even it meant she had lost her one chance at an easy going conversation with Waverly and getting the answers she so desperately wanted. 

The rescue mission, however, ended the second they reached the improvised poker table. Wynonna and Henry watched their approach with an annoyed look on their face, clearly dissatisfied with the interruption of the game. Eliza ran back to her sit where her cards were already laid for her with no more than a simple glance over her shoulders, leaving Nicole to her own thoughts. The detective had to fight the urge to turn right back to the kitchen to try and continue the conversation. But she knew Waverly was most likely somewhere else at that point and their moment had certainly passed. Nicole sighed. It was extremely frustrating, to say the least, the push and pulling, the cliff’s edge. It was frustrating knowing someone as well as Nicole could say she knew Waverly and taking so long to realize just how much it was worth. The detective felt no short of stupid for it and for wasting so much time trying to control things that were completely out of her control. 

Throughout the week, Nicole had spent quite a lot of time actually thinking about everything. Taking into consideration all that had led her to breaking Waverly Earp’s heart on a dark high school corridor. She knew it was not longer time to look for justifications for her actions, that was long past. Nicole had seen her reasons being debunked time and time again by the historian until the second the woman had walked away. It had taken the detective a little time to understand the effects of her holding back, but since the reunion she had learned that it was past time to wonder. In fact, the redhead knew she had to start making decisions or the world would do it for her. Nicole shook the thoughts out of her mind. Focusing on the now was the only way she could move forward, something she also had come to realize throughout the week. She looked around the room where the poker game still happened and found Jeremy walking towards her with two glasses of cocktail. 

“This is the first game of the night” he said “Doc’s choice”.  
“Why am I not surprised by that?” The detective stated.  
“He won the coin toss and got to pick first and my game is next” the CSI said excitedly “but they have been playing for what seems like forever so who knows when I’ll have my chance” he said with significant less enthusiasm.  
“Who’s winning?” The detective asked.  
“You know I don’t really know how to play” Jeremy said “and as far as I know Wynonna doesn’t really know how to play either” he continued “she wins out of pure luck”.  
“I wouldn’t bet against her though” Nicole cautioned “especially if Dolls is not so secretly helping her out”.  
“You’re right about that my friend” he nodded “as for Doc and Eliza, they both have excellent poker faces so they can either be really good or really bad”.  
“You were the first one to lose?” Nicole asked.  
“Yes, turns out having two pairs is not that great to go all in on the second round” Jeremy shrugged “I made you your favorite” he passed her one of the glasses he was holding.  
“I didn’t know you were mending the bar” the detective said.  
“I’m not” the CSI said “I went to get a beer but I think the keg exploded, so that was a no no”.  
“And you took over the cocktails?” Nicole said.  
“Well, your girl is the designated bartender but she had a wardrobe malfunction so I stepped in” he winked.  
“My girl?” Nicole laughed.  
“Yup” Jeremy said “Miss Waverly Earp”. 

A big commotion coming from the poker table interrupted their conversation. Wynonna shouted angrily at Dolls, who had both his hands up defensively. Her previous large pile of chips was being added to the even larger pile belonging to Eliza. The later smirked maliciously. Meanwhile, Henry’s feature were a mix of disbelief and complete shook. Nicole took a look at the card on the table to try and understand the reason for such a reaction from the players. The man had a full house of three knights and two aces, the brunette had four queens and, incredibly, Eliza had a Royal Flush. The highest hand possible on poker, with a probability of less than 0,0001%, had led the blonde to an extraordinary win. She put all the chips in her purse to cash in later on, an amount that Nicole assumed would be around the hundreds. Suddenly, the detective was thankful for having arrived late, otherwise her own money would be filling up the blonde’s pockets as well. 

“I’m never following your advice again” Wynonna said to Dolls before walking out of the table.  
“Do you know what the odds were of anyone getting that?” He tried to argue.  
“Don’t be so bitter Wyn” Eliza said walking towards Nicole and taking her glass away “here, have a drink to help you swallow your loss” she winked at the redhead.  
“I hate this game” Wynonna said annoyed “goddammit, what the hell is this?” She cursed after taking a sip of her drink.  
“It’s a margarita” Jeremy said, offended.  
“No it’s not, did Waverly make this?” The brunette asked.  
“I did not” Waverly said as she walked into the room.  
“I did” Jeremy said “Waves was not available and I wanted a drink”.  
“You nearly wasted good tequila with this.” Wynonna said before drinking the rest of the drink in one go. “Where were you anyway?” She asked her sister.  
“Your beer tab broke and I needed new clothes” Waverly answered annoyedly “I was getting changed”.  
“Why do I feel like I know this jacket from somewhere?” Wynonna asked, ignoring the keg comment.  
“Can we please just start with the next game already?” Nicole said; the unfocused conversation was starting to get on her nerves.  
“I think that’s a good idea Nicole” Waverly said.  
“Yes!” Jeremy yelled excitedly.  
“I would’ve never guessed you’d be that eagered to play never have I ever” Eliza whispered into her friend’s ear.  
“Wait, what?”

Nicole rubbed her temples frenetically. She had a feeling that this game choice wasn’t random. She knew better than to assume that Jeremy, who had been casually bugging her about Waverly, had randomly chosen to play a game most of them hadn’t played since their teenage years. Whenever they got together to game night they’d always suggest the same games. Henry and Dolls would pick poker so they could continue their ongoing search for who was the best at it. Eliza would suggest blackjack while Wynonna would pick a random drinking game. As for Jeremy, he was a huge fan of cards against humanity and was not afraid to show it. It would have been a huge surprise to hear the CSI had suggested a new game wasn’t for the fact that Nicole knew better. He had an agenda. The detective shook her head, accepting her fate. 

Nicole sighed. Everyone was starting to get back from refilling their drinks and was starting to get cozy on the sofas, where Jeremy had decided the game would take place. The detective moved to sit on the greenish armchair that once belonged to her but was pushed out of the way by Eliza before she could reach it. Nicole tried to protest but the agent brushed her off and winked before pointing towards the only other empty sit. She looked at where the woman was pointing at and once again found herself taken aback by her friends. Nicole saw Waverly sitting alone on a two people divan, playing with the zipper of her jacket, completely unaware of Eliza’s change of heart. Once again, Nicole would’ve been surprised by her friend sudden shift in attitude but she, much like Jeremy, had been clear about her thoughts on Wayhaught, as Jeremy had casually named her relationship. 

The detective watched Waverly as she made her way to the crimson divan. The woman was too focused on whatever it was that she was thinking about to notice the redhead’s attention on her. As expected, Waverly had taken out the beer soaked clothes and changed into dry ones. More specifically, she had changed into a floral salmon knee length dress. Although the outfit was fitting for warm days, Waverly used her newly acquired jacked to protect herself from the cold of winter. Much as if she had thought it out, the whole outfit matched perfectly. Nicole smiled shyly at the image. Waverly looked good in anything really and any outfit looked perfect while she wore it. But it was something else entirely to have the woman wearing her clothes. It was more than appropriate, the detective thought. She didn’t even mind if she never got her favorite jacket back. It was just another part of hers that belonged to Waverly. 

“Alright ladies and gentlemen, shall we begin?” Jeremy asked excitedly.  
“How do we play this game again?” Henry asked. “I feel like I haven’t played it in 300 years or so”.  
“It makes sense given your age” Dolls teased.  
“Shut up you too” Wynonna intervened before the playful banter escalated.  
“Let me refresh your memory” Jeremy said “we’ll go around saying things and if you’ve done it, you lower a finger, it ends when only one of us remain with fingers up”.  
“And what’s the prize?” Doc asked.  
“Everyone wins really” Eliza said “we’ll all learn a lot about each other’s dirty secrets”.  
“That does not sound so fun” Waverly said.  
“Got anything to hide Waves?” Nicole tried.  
“Do you?” The historian hit back.  
“I guess you’ll have to stick around to see” the detective said firmly, her words no longer playful but instead full of deeper meaningful.  
“Okay you two, we’ll find out soon enough.” Eliza said. “Hands forward everyone, I’ll begin” she thought about her question “never have I ever...”  
“No, let me” Waverly interrupted “never have I ever hooked up with anyone in this room”.  
“Ah, c’mon” people said in unison before putting down their fingers.  
“What the fuck?” Wynonna yelled. 

Nicole didn’t have to look at everyone’s hands to see why her best friend had had that reaction. It was no secret that the hook up history between them was long, confusing and messy. In theory Eliza, Wynonna, Doc and Dolls had to be the only ones to lower one finger given their on and off hook ups. Jeremy got to keep his ten fingers despite his constant attempts at getting Henry to take him out. The only two other people remaining shouldn’t have lowered their fingers either, except Nicole did it as soon as Waverly uttered the words. The redhead looked inside the historian’s yes, making sure that she could see the fearless honesty that came with the gesture. The detective didn’t look at Waverly’s fingers. In that moment it didn’t matter, whether or not she said she had hooked up with someone from the Scooby gang. Nicole’s boldness to do something as simple as lower her thumb was the sole reason for the game, for the question and for all eyes being glued on her. 

“Did you hook up with Eliza?” Wynonna asked, clearly trying to understand what was going on.  
“What? No” Nicole said, somehow repelled by the thought.  
“Well you didn’t hook up with me” the brunette started “and you didn’t do it with Eliza, so I don’t get it”.  
“Wyn, c’mon” Nicole said. She refused to believe her best friend could be that oblivious.  
“Waves?” Wynonna asked once she realized.  
“Yes”

Nicole held her head up despite the anxiety that creeped into her brain. She had made her big confession, the boogeyman that hunted her since the party. She had rehearsed what to say for an entire week because the detective knew that if she wanted to move forward with Waverly, she’d have to be honest to everyone, including one Wynonna Earp. A game of never have I ever wasn’t the ideal way of doing that but Nicole knew having the truth out was the only thing that mattered. However, the long overdue confession started to feel less and less of a win as the sudden silence in the room started making her blood as cold as the winter air that hit the window and forced the animals to hide. Her limbs tended up and she automatically started bouncing her legs up and down to try and ease a bit of the tension. 

Wynonna’s reaction was not a surprise though. Nicole knew that after everything she’d heard the woman say about Waverly coming to live in Purgatory, there was no way it would’ve been any other. But what surprised and somewhat hurt her was everyone else’s. As she struggled to keep a serious and unaffected face, Nicole hoped to find some solace within her friends. Solace that never came. Their features were of pure awkwardness. They didn’t dare to say anything, or even to breathe a bit deeper, they didn’t move to save her from the ever growing tense situation. No one moved to fill the heavy emptiness brought by the silence. Nicole hoped that maybe Eliza and Jeremy would intervene on her behalf, or maybe Henry and Dolls would step up. But the help never came. The silence was a poison to her, for in that lack of sound the weight of her confession was laid bare. 

Nicole finally mastered enough confidence to look at Waverly, who hadn’t moved or said anything since uttering her question. The woman looked at her with an unreadable expression. It was something between pure shock and utter surprise. The detective knew that after everything she had done, all the pulling and pushing her away, Waverly had every right to be confused. Except, behind that, the detective could see, as clear as day, the purest adoration and love. Nicole didn’t need to hear Waverly say it, for in that moment of silence confession she saw the woman’s love in her eyes. It would’ve been so easy to just kiss her and leave the doubting and fucking up behind them. And in that moment there was nothing else Nicole would’ve love to do more. But everything went out the window as the detective felt, and subsequently saw, Wynonna’s hand on her shoulder. 

Nicole could feel the muscles testing up where her best friend touched her. She felt her trapezium contracting, from the top of her neck to the middle of her back. Wynonna’s fingers burned her skin through the thin layer of her denim shirt. With every new breathe Nicole took, she noticed the other woman’s grip tightening, as if she was holding her down. It was like quicksand. The situation wasn’t innately unsteady, however, just like quicksand, the more the detective tensed up and struggled, the deeper Wynonna’s digits dug into her shoulder, pressing her down. She felt like a prey, desperately and uselessly trying to escape their predator only to find out they’ve ran directly into a trap. Nicole’s breathe started picking up, as she tried to think of a way to get ahead of the unavoidable confrontation. 

“Funny” Wynonna said seriously “very funny”.  
“Wyn, look...” Nicole stood up to look her into her eyes “I can explain”.  
“Don’t bother” the brunette said.  
“Look..” the redhead tried again, but her best friend stopped her.  
“I may be a bit oblivious, but I’m not stupid” Wynonna said with a weird smile “I know”.  
“You do?” Waverly said surprised from where she sat.  
“Haught stuff over here” the older sister said, tightening the grip she had on the woman’s shoulder “can’t keep her hands off of you”.  
“Oh shit” Jeremy whispered not so discreetly from the other side of the room.  
“I know you guys know about it too, so ... yeah” Wynonna laughed “everyone knows about the stunt you guys pulled at the reunion” she shoved her best friend lightly.  
“What?” Nicole said surprised.  
“C’mon, it’s been the talk of the town, how” she air quoted “Detective Haught smoothly stole Waverly Earp from Champ’s fingertips” she laughed “If only they knew how much of a lie this is”.  
“Wyn, I don’t really think that’s what Nic said” Eliza tried to help.  
“She was joking” Wynonna said as she made her way back to her sit “imagine that, my best friend dating my sister” she laughed “I’d have to kill Nicole”.  
“Wyn, you cannot be serious” Waverly said defensively.  
“C’mon” the older woman said “I know everything about Nicole, Waves” she begun “I know all about her girlfriends and their stories ended, I’ve gone with her to countless strip clubs and I’ve kicked half asleep women out of her apartment in the morning more time than I can remember” she continued “she’s my best friend and I know all she has ever been up to”.  
“Wyn, this is enough” Nicole stopped her friend before she could list every terrible thing she’d ever done.  
“All I’m saying, for the sake of this conversation, is that there’s no way in hell Nicole is dating my sister’ she turned to her fellow detective “Nic, you’re nice and all but I can’t remember the last time you were even remotely serious about any girl you’ve hooked up with” she shrugged “plus, how much of a terrible detective would I be if I didn’t know you guys were doing it behind my back?”  
“I...” Nicole considered saying something more in her defense but found that there wasn’t much she could say at that point “it’s good to know what you think of me”.  
“Bud, you’re great” Wynonna said “this is all a joke” she laughed “I know you and my sister are not an item, it’s cool”.  
“Okay, okay, how about you girls talk about it later?” Dolls suggested, trying to avoid the confrontation from getting any worse. “Let’s enjoy the party for now okay?”  
“Whatever you say” the redhead gave up trying to fight, at least for that night “let’s just finish the game” 

Nicole sighed. Once again she had witnessed things, in a matter of seconds, take a complete turn for the worse. And just like every other time that this had happened in a span of weeks, the detective found that there was virtually nothing she could do other than watch as the events unfolded right in front of her eyes. It wasn’t that Nicole had assumed that by working things out with Waverly she would eventually get Wynonna’s approval. She wasn’t that naive, there was way too much history between them and far too many warnings to just believe things would be immediately fine. But after seeing just how strained and dire things were between her and Waverly she had decided that the possibility of her best friend reacting badly wouldn’t hurt as much as losing the woman she loved. She was wrong. Nicole let her body hit the divan, too hurt to worry about how her defeated expression looked to everyone else.

The detective felt a shift on the cushion and noticed how Waverly seemed to be sitting impossibly closer. She looked at the woman and saw understanding written all over her features. It was like, for once, Waverly was finally able to understand just how serious and big of a gamble the detective had to do in order to choose her. It was a small gesture, something imperceptible to the other attendees but it was everything that the detective could’ve wished for. It restored her faith in her decision. It didn’t make everything right all of a sudden, Nicole was still hurt and pissed off that Wynonna didn’t think she was worthy of her sister. And more than anything she was shocked that her best friend would throw everything they’d done while single in her face just like that. Waverly’s comforting touch didn’t wash that away, but it sure made things seem less dark. 

Nicole tried to think of something else as the game went on, focusing on how much her friends blushed every time they had to lower one finger. The detective laughed loudly as Jeremy struggled to explain why he had been the first to lose the game after losing his last finger to a question asked by Waverly. The man turned red as everyone tried to get him to confess under which circumstances he had been handcuffed. But it was when Doc lowered his middle finger, which he had decided to keep last to flip everyone else when he went down. Nicole didn’t last long after his demise though, after a strategically posed question by Eliza, the detective found herself leaving the game. She still rolled her eyes as she made her way to the kitchen, of course someone would mention doing something regrettable in Vegas as a way to make her lose. 

“Never have I ever taken a good looking doctor to Vegas after a pretty wild party” Henry laughed.  
“Very funny” Nicole protested “mock your friend, go ahead”.  
“I’m sorry, but c’mon” he shrugged.  
“Yeah I know” the detective shook her head “but let’s not talk about the past” she said “especially not mine”.  
“Okay okay” Doc said amusedly “I’m surprised Wynonna and Eliza are still playing”.  
“It’s not that much of a surprise, they’re playing to make everyone else blush” Nicole said “and confess their secrets” she continued “right now this is a game of strategy“.  
“It seems to me that they’re not the only ones though” the man said, not needing to mention who he was referring to.  
“It was more of a inside question, it was something between the two of us” the detective corrected him “it wasn’t really the intention to have that happening”.  
“She didn’t mean it” Henry said.  
“Waverly?” Nicole asked confused.  
“Wynonna” the man took a sip of his beer.  
“I think she said with all the letters just how much she meant it” the detective said.  
“I’ve known Wynonna for longer than I care to admit and I can say for a fact that her life is better with a friend like you in it” Doc said “she knows it and she knows Waverly’s life will also be better with you around”.  
“That’s probably why she’s so repulsed by the thought of Waverly and I being together” the detective protested.  
“I’m not defending her, don’t get me wrong, she has no right to try to control your lives” he said “but tell me that when you think about your best friend’s love life, the first thing that comes to mind isn’t Aphrodite” Henry pushed “if Nathan told you he was dating Wyn, wouldn’t you immediately think back to that club?”  
“But I know that she’s much more than that” Nicole protested.  
“And she knows that about you as well” Doc said.  
“Are you willing to bet on that?” The detective asked sadly.  
“Are you?” Henry asked seriously.  
“I...” she found herself out of words.  
“Look Nicole, I know this is a huge risk and I can only imagine what’s been going through your mind this past couple of months” Doc started “but what I do know is that you deserve to be happy” he said “and in order to be happy you need to make many decisions, decisions that sometimes aren’t easy”. He huffed lightly “Hell, most of the time they are really hard. But you have to take your chances anyway because you owe that to yourself, to try and be happy despite of the world and its challenges”. 

Doc didn’t wait for a response. He knew he had given the detective a whole lot to think about. So instead of expecting an answer, he kissed her forehead and started to make his way back to the living room. But what he didn’t know was just how fast Nicole would grab his hand and pull him into a hug. Tears wet his shirt where the detective’s head rested against his chest. He pulled her closer, tightening his hold to offer her whatever comfort he could provide. The detective pulled back and took a deep breath before pulling a pen and a piece of paper from the top drawer of the kitchen cupboard. She quickly wrote something down before handing him the paper. 

“Will you give her this, please?” Nicole asked.  
“Who?” Henry asked before reading the paper. “What are you going to do?”  
“Nothing I’m going to regret” she said.  
“Do I need to worry?” He asked, trying not to let his emotion appear.  
“Just give this to her” Nicole said “I need her to know”.  
“I will” Henry said.  
“Bye Doc”. The detective turned to leave.  
“Just remember we all love you” he said.  
“I know” Nicole mumbled to herself after she was too far for him to hear.


	15. Point of View

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, first things first. I suck for taking a whole month to update this, I know it’s terrible for you guys to wait around that long for updates and believe me, I hate not being able to update sooner. But turns out adulting makes time scarce. However I’m organizing my schedule better and hopefully will be able to return to posting every two weeks, no promises though. So I wanted to thank you guys for the patience and for sticking around. You needn’t worry, I will finish this. 
> 
> Now on to the chapter, this one was the way I found to clarify something regarding the other characters. Note that the timeline in this one is a bit different so yeah.   
> I really hope you guys like this and I cannot wait to see what you thought of it. As per usual, my awesome Beta deserves several kudos cause she rocks.   
> Btw, I updated this from my phone so please forgive any mistakes. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Waverly starred at the ceiling. It was a quarter to three and she had to be up in less than five hours to meet with the Dean of Purgatory’s University History Department. She had no idea as to what to expect from the meeting, she figured the interview a couple of weeks earlier had been all she needed to get the job. Waverly was anxious with why she was being practically summoned by the old man but that wasn’t what kept her up. Sleep had been running away from her since the day she arrived in town. In a span of two months, the historian had tried all sorts of calming teas, sleeping apps, meditation techniques and popular hacks, but nothing seemed to work. Night after night, after night Waverly would find herself exhausted and yet unable to shut her brain down for long enough to catch some sleep. So she stared at the ceiling. Every night.

The brownish misshaped form was a result of spring then and now. She remembered walking up late at night when she was still a little girl, nearly a toddler still. Winter was starting to give way to the warmth of spring, and the heavy snow accumulated on the roof begun to melt. A mix of water and dirt made their way through the ceiling, waking her up with its dripping. Waverly didn’t as much as move one muscle though. The dirty water was wetting her bones despite how hard she tried to find solace in the warmth of the comforter. But the cold was nothing compared to how bad things would be if she accidentally woke Willa up. Maybe the girl would force her to cross the beam once again or she’d push her into the frozen lake as she had threatened to do so many times, or maybe she would do something even worse. Waverly was terrified of her older sister. And so she stayed up all night, hoping for a sunny and warm morning. 

Waverly sighed. She hated all the terrible memories that lived inside the house. She hated how being in there made her feel so small and insignificant. Waverly hated everything she had to endure while living in the homestead. But what she hated more than anything was just how guilty hating her dead sister made her feel. It was nearly impossible to even out the good and the bad of staying in Purgatory, but somehow there she was still. Waverly had stayed because the job was good and she’d have a lot of opportunities to further her research. She had also stayed for Wynonna, who seemed completely devoted to making up for leaving London. And the historian had stayed for the chance at love, regardless of how tired she was getting of Nicole’s indecision. Waverly picked up her phone and added a note to buy some paint when she returned from the meeting. If she was going to live in the haunted house she might as well try and make it home. 

Closing her eyes, Waverly tried to force sleep to embrace her, hoping that the tiredness of her body would win over the darkness of her memories. As she forced her eyes shut, traces of red started appearing against her eyelids. The thin lines started multiplying and suddenly red was all Waverly could see through shut eyes. She embraced it. Not because anything was better than the absence of color from her nightmares, but because as the images begun forming, Waverly saw her. Red hair flying with the wind as she ran away, laughing as they played around the park. Nicole laughed even louder when the historian caught her, not even trying to pretend to be disappointed for losing the game. Waverly curled a stray of Nicole’s hair on her finger, embracing the overwhelming happiness that took control of her heart. Two small figures ran towards them, racing against each other. Red was quickly becoming her favorite color. The happy dream, however, was cut short when a muffled cursing woke the historian up. 

“Wynonna?” She said sleepily.   
“Fuck” the woman said “I’m sorry I woke you up”.   
“What are you doing in my room?” Waverly asked. “It’s like five in the morning”.   
“I know” Wynonna started “I wanted to see if you had managed to sleep a little” she continued “I noticed you haven’t been sleeping well and I’d offer to make you some of that awful British tea of yours”.   
“I’m fine, thank you.” Waverly lied “Did you just got back from the party?”  
“Half an hour ago or so.” The detective said “I was trying to decide whether or not to come in, I didn’t want to bother you” she confessed.   
“It’s okay” the historian petted the bed, inviting her sister to join “I assume you had fun with your friend then”.   
“Nicole?” Wynonna asked, earning a nod in return. “Not really, she went home like half an hour after you left, she’s been a bit strange these past few weeks, I don’t know what’s wrong with her ”.   
“Did you try talking to her?” Waverly suggested, not because she wanted to get inside knowledge on the redhead but because she truly worried about her.   
“Before we went to the reunion actually” the detective begun “but Nic is not the kind of person you can push, you have to give her time and space and be there I guess” she continued “the more you try to get her to open up, the harder it’ll be for her to get out of her head”.   
“Who would’ve thought you’d be this good at handling people’s emotions” Waverly said.   
“I just look like an asshole” Wynonna shrugged “I’m going to let you get back to sleep, or do you want some of that tea?”  
“I’ll pass for now, but maybe another time though” the historian smiled.   
“Sure” the older woman kissed her sister’s forehead before she started walking away.   
“Thanks Wyn” Waverly said. She noticed her sister hesitating to live but chose not to pressure her into talking.   
“Waves” she began “I’ve noticed that you don’t seem to be at ease in here, in Purgatory” she continued “so I wanna say I understand if you don’t want to stay”.   
“You know I did take the job, right?” The historian asked.   
“I do, but getting it didn’t change your mood” Wynonna said “you haven’t been sleeping well and you seem quite agitated, and the last thing I want is for you to not be happy” she went on “and Purgatory doesn’t seem to be doing it”.   
“Wyn...” the younger woman tried.   
“No, just...” the detective stopped her “I know how painful this city, this house, the memories of our family and all the things I did are” she confessed “you built an amazing life in London away from all of this crap and away from me so if you think going back is what you need to do to be happy, then I think you should”.   
“So you don’t want me to stay?” Waverly said, hurt. Despite her sister’s emotional confession it was a bit hard to dissociate the woman who abandoned her years earlier from the one standing in front of her.   
“I want you to stay, God only knows all I’ve been doing to make sure you do, but I want you to stay because you want to, because you’re happy” Wynonna smiled sadly “I’ll always do everything in my power to take care of you, to make sure you don’t get hurt anymore, but as hard as I try, I cannot control everything and everyone” she said “so if you realize that leaving me and this place behind is what you need to do to be happy, I’ll support it”.   
“I’m not leaving anytime soon” Waverly said simply “goodnight Wyn”.   
“Night Waves”. 

The historian sighed. There was absolutely no way she’d be able to go back to sleep after the atmosphere in the room got that heavy. At first, when Wynonna had left her to be raised by Gus and Uncle Curtis, Waverly had simply assumed that she didn’t mean anything to her sister, in her pre-adolescent mind, leaving had seemed easier than straying and caring for a small child. But as she grew up and begun to learn about the Earp’s history and Wynonna’s part in it, Waverly had started to understand that going back to Purgatory was the actual hell. Of course the historian still somewhat resented her sister for leaving her behind but it had been a long time since she had even thought about blaming her big sister. And maybe that was exactly the reason why seeing Wynonna so hurt by the decision she had made years earlier and seeing just how scarred, broken, scared and insecure because of the wall between them, killed Waverly inside. 

The historian understood the desperate necessity Wynonna felt to keep her safe, to protect her from all the dangers of the world, from all the bad in Purgatory. They had lost too much in there and even before that, they had been hurt one too many times by the people in that town. Waverly was still trying to get to know Wynonna but she knew the woman only pretended to be at peace. The humor, the sarcasm and the distance she kept from people were a clear indication of that. So the historian was certain that she too would do just about anything in her power to make sure that her sister was safe. And Waverly knew that, even though Wynonna didn’t considered herself enough for and worthy of her sister, Purgatory was only home because the detective was working hard behind the curtains to turn it into one. 

-/-

“Oh my god, yes!” Chrissy said from across the dinner as she ran towards the door “I’m so glad you’re back!” She said when she finally reached her friend “we have so much to catch up on”.   
“Hello to you too” Waverly smiled.   
“We barely had a chance to talk at the reunion, with everyone circling around you” she winked “but now I have you all to myself”.   
“Why do I suddenly feel so much like a snack?” The historian laughed.   
“Oh darling, you wish” she winked. 

Waverly allowed her childhood friend to lead her towards a booth in the corner of the dinner. Chrissy mentioned that she had taken the liberty to order some coffee for the two of them, both of which she had drunk while waiting for the woman in a futile attempt to ease her nerves. Waverly took a few seconds to look at her friend. The woman had clearly aged and still, she had the very same face from when they were kids. Chrissy, at a first glance, looked like nothing more than a mean it-girl and in fact, for a little while in school, she did hang out with a couple of other girls that turned her into that. But little Waverly had seen her friend’s true colors when Ward and Willa died. The woman, not much older than a child, had made sure to look after her orphan friend. She would stop by the Earp’s house every day after school to take their homework and class notes and to make sure they had eaten something all day. Truth was that much like her dad, Chrissy Nedley had this innate ability and desperate need to help people.

They talked for a couple of minutes about how winter was clearly starting to give way to spring and how the cold winds were slowly being replaced by the warmth of spring and it’s renovating winds. They ordered more drinks and a selection of dishes before getting into the real conversation. They had a lot to catch up on and they didn’t want to waste a single second. Chrissy told the tale of how she became a lawyer because of a stupid boy who said she couldn’t and Waverly explained how her search for answers had led her to become a historian. She confessed how growing up in London had been bittersweet because of all the opportunities she had to explore the world and herself but how, at the same time, she had never really belonged there. Chrissy told the brunette about her boyfriend and how she had met him while in the last year of law school. And that was when Waverly noticed the woman working on a good way to ask her something and the historian didn’t really need to a be genius to know what the question was about. 

“So... you and Nic hum?” Chrissy ask casually, trying to contain her excitement and curiosity “I must say I did not see that coming, but now I can’t not see how perfect you are for each other!”  
“No need to get excited, we’re not a thing, really” Waverly said in the same casual tone.   
“Girl please” the lawyer said “I know what I saw with my own two eyes and it surely was something with a capital s”.   
“That kiss didn’t mean anything” she lied “it a swift and impromptu rescue mission from an extremely inconvenient guy” she downplayed “it was women solidarity at its best”.   
“Oh yeah, no. I know that the first kiss was about Champ. I mean I didn’t know it sooner but when I thought back to it, Nicole’s jealousy could be felt from the way across the room” Chrissy said “but if you really wanna downplay it to a kiss between friends I can roll with that, I mean, that woman is hot!”  
“Excuse me?” Waverly protested before she could stop herself.   
“No need to get jealous sweetie, I’ve known Nicole for years and nothing ever happened between the two of us” the lawyer said.   
“And...” the Earp thought about the implicit subtext “have you tried to?” She asked, unsure of whether or not she wanted the answer.   
“Nicole was single, sweet, fun, hot, interesting and a damn smooth talker and that’s all I’m going to say on that” she shrugged, leaving the other woman confused “but we’re off track here, back to you and her”.   
“Like I said, it was just a kiss” Waverly said.   
“Sweetie, the first kiss maybe, but everything that happened after that was not just anything”. The lawyer said.   
“Okay, I’ll entertain you, what makes you say that?” Waverly asked.   
“Like I said, Nicole is amazing and I’ve known her for over five years now but I’ve never seen her the way she is with you, with anyone else” Chrissy begun “it’s safe to say that she’s smitten and, not putting it lightly, possibly in love with you” she continued “I noticed how calm she was when you were there and how agitated she was when you left”.   
“I sort of dropped a bomb on her so that’s probably it” the historian tried.   
“No, that’s not it. Nicole is always agitated, her mind is always running at the speed of light, she always look haunted and more than anything, she’s always stuck in her past and never fully .. present ” she took a deep breath and continued “what her dad and her family did to her haunts her to date, she’s always stuck in a horrible loop of past traumas projecting into current events, something I’m sure you can understand”.   
“Yes, of course” Waverly said, thinking about the infiltration on her room.   
“But during all the time she was near you at the party, Nicole seemed calm and centered even though her mind surely was busy with infinite thoughts.”  
“You’re her friend, an old friend and you probably know her much better than I do, but I cannot see this Nicole” Waverly sighed “I know she does feel something for me but she keeps pushing me away, running away from this and making up excuses after excuses for not giving us a chance” she continued “I spent hours trying to understand what was going through her head and how I could make it easier for her” she continued “and I get that she’s afraid of a lot of things, including of Wynonna being mad or whatever, but it’s exhausting and painful chasing after someone who doesn’t even want to be chased”.   
“Oh. Why is afraid of Wynonna? Because of the no funny business with my sister rule?” Chrissy asked.   
“Yes. Apparently Nicole wholeheartedly believes that my sister will act crazy and will somehow punish her for putting her hands on me or something” the historian said, incapable of hiding her frustration any longer.   
“Look this fear of her has very, very little to do with Wynonna and everything to do with her own father and how he treated her after she fell in love with someone” Chrissy said “Nicole is amazing but she’s not perfect, far from it, but I know that behind all of the chaos that you perceive as a lack of feelings, there’s a girl who’s in love with you”.   
“And how would you know that?” Waverly pushed.   
“I’ve seen her with lots of women before and I even saw her like a couple of them but I never saw Nicole give someone the power to hurt her as she does you” Chrissy said firmly.

Waverly looked at her friend. Her shoulders were tense and her hands gripped tightly the cutlery. There was something about the way she had ended the conversation, about how she was adamant on standing up for Nicole that made the historian not want to argue any further. One could assume it was the lawyer in her presenting a solid defense that ended the debate. But Waverly knew better. Chrissy took the critics against her friend personally because she understood, cherished, loved and felt the indisputable need to protect Nicole. The historian couldn’t help but wonder if something had happened between the two women but she knew that regardless of the unlikeliness of that having happened, the reason why Chrissy so fiercely fought was Nicole being who she was. Waverly took a sip of her coffee to stop herself from saying anything else. She had nothing valid to say even if she hadn’t opted for the quiet. 

The historian thought about the redhead. Waverly had only seen two versions of Nicole, one that was kind, sweet, respectful, understanding and wholeheartedly present and one that was fearful, uncertain, unwilling and stuck. Reconciling these two completely distinct versions of the woman was Waverly’s problem all along. Much as she tried to understand and to make sense of all the pushing and pulling, the historian would always find herself short of an explanation. It didn’t really make sense. Not when Nicole would turn around and smile at her like she was her whole world. Waverly had experienced more than a handful of time the traumatic experience of giving her all to people who easily brushed her off at the end of the day and she couldn’t help but think Nicole was doing the very same. Ironically, it took Chrissy playing defense attorney for Waverly to noticed that her own scars were preventing her from seeing and understanding the true extent of Nicole’s. 

She sighed, that conversation was giving her a headache and was making her feel too guilty for comfort. The historian remembered Nicole’s face as she left her all alone in that barely lit hallway and in the new light, the regret begun eating her away. What she had done during the reunion, had been an act of self-defense. Waverly had real and strong feelings for the detective and every time she got her hopes up, she saw them fall apart in front of her eyes. She could understand and sympathize with the reasons why the redhead had held back and stopped herself from giving all of her to someone else. The historian could understand that. Butat the end of the day, Nicole would walk away and Waverly would have to care for her broken heart all alone. It pained her to deposit all of her hopes in an ultimatum and it pained her even more to accept the answer she had been given. But even though she really could understand the deepest roots of the father issues that Nicole felt, Waverly had to choose the safety of her heart over anything else. 

The historian raised her hand, signaling for the waiter to bring more food and way more coffee. The best thing she could do was to embrace her friend’s abrupt change of subjects. Thinking about Nicole was making her mind wander to places that weakened her decision. Waverly wrapped both her hands around her cup of coffee to stop herself from reaching out into her bag and texting the redhead. Walking away hadn’t been easy at all but staying away was proving to be something much, much harder than the historian had anticipated. Waverly did not expect Nicole to become so inevitable that fast. 

-/-

“Did you hook up with Eliza?” Wynonna asked shocked.   
“What? No” Nicole said, shocked at the thought.   
“Well you didn’t hook up with me” the brunette started “and you didn’t do it with Eliza, so I don’t get it”.   
“Wyn, c’mon” Nicole said, she refused to believe her best friend could be that oblivious.   
“Waves?” Wynonna asked once she realized.   
“Yes.”

Waverly felt the air being sucked out of her lungs. There were seven people in the room and the historian knew without a shade of doubt that that simple word was meant for her and for her alone. The three letters confession took the brunette completely by surprise but not because it was unexpected given where they were in their relationship. It wasn’t even the improbable way in which it had been delivered. What swept Waverly off her feet and took down all of her defenses was the unwavering certainty that she saw within Nicole’s eyes as she confessed to whoever was paying attention that she was all in. For what seemed like the first time, the detective did not look doubtful or afraid. The ghosts were still there creeping in a corner of her mind but in that moment, while Nicole held her gaze despite the growing tension, Waverly knew. 

The warmth inside her heart was quickly poisoned by the shivering cold silence that took over the room as everyone waited for a reaction from someone. Waverly sort of expected Jeremy and Eliza to jump in and save Nicole since they were clearly behind the game choice. And she also expected one of her sister’s boyfriends to use their calm personalities to stop the situation from escalating. But what Waverly did not expect, even with Nicole’s previous warnings, was just how terribly Wynonna would lash out. The historian sat paralyzed as her sister started listing all the reasons why her best friend was not at all a worthy match for the younger woman. Waverly observed the whole thing with incredibility. She wanted desperately to help Nicole but the words were stuck on her throat. And so just like everyone else in their own selfish shock, Waverly watched as the woman she loved was dragged and humiliated by her own best friend. 

The tension dissolved into awkwardness that turned into uncomfortableness that made everyone suddenly disappear. Nicole was the first one to get up, her red eyes and stiff chin showing how badly she was struggling to keep her composure. Henry followed her before Waverly could. She heard muffled conversation coming from the kitchen and had to fight the urge to run to the redhead. A few seconds passed and the historian heard the front door slamming shut and a car speeding away the driveway. Waverly saw Henry drink a glass of whiskey in one go before she lost sight of him. She noticed Jeremy and Eliza opening the french doors and walking towards the backyard while having a whispered conversation, too scared to say what they were thinking out loud. Dolls began cleaning out the living room to create a justifiable reason for leaving the two Earp sisters alone. 

Wynonna sat on the black couch that belonged to their great granddad. Waverly noticed that her sister, much like everyone who had owned that couch before, drank an unidentifiable and yet highly alcoholic beverage. The detective wore a distant and nearly unrecognizable look, one that Waverly recognized from their conversation on her bedroom a few nights earlier. It was guilt. The woman had let herself go in a moment of weakness and she had acted harshly because of it. The historian knew the fire that ran on her sister’s blood, the urgent and unstoppable force that made them act out of pure momentum. And Waverly knew well enough how easy it was to regret it one second later and how hard it was to deal with the guilt. The historian felt the fire in that exact moment, while she struggled to contain her limbs aching with the anger that started to fill her brain. Wynonna noticed her sister staring at her and with the last remaining boldness she could master, she spoke. 

“I know you want to say something, so get on with it or stop staring” she said.   
“Do you really want me to say something? Because I have a whole lot to say and I’m not sure you want to listen” Waverly said angrily.   
“I don’t need a lecture okay?” Wynonna sighed “I know what I did and I don’t need anyone to guilt trip me because of it. I’ll apologize to Nicole on Monday”.   
“That’s not good enough” the historian bit.   
“And what would you have me do then?” The detective lashed out. “I was sticking up for you, I was just trying to clear the air and protect you like I’ve been doing since you arrived” she continued “I am genuinely sorry that Nicole got the short end of the stick but she gets where I’m coming from!”  
“I don’t know if you’re joking or if you’re seriously that insensible” Waverly said, trying to keep her anger in check.   
“C’mon, can’t you just pick me? Be on my side?” Wynonna sighed sadly “I’m doing my job okay? I’m trying to do literally everything in my power to make it so you’re safe and happy!”  
“I...” Waverly shook her head “God Wynonna! I don’t need saving” She said exasperated. “You fucking left me in another country when I was a small kid, when I actually needed my big sister, the only blood relative I actually had” she continued “that’s when I needed you to look out for me!”  
“Waves...” the older woman said sadly, her eyes were teary with the emotions she tried to contain.   
“No, you have to listen to me” the historian took a deep breathe “I understand why you came back and why you had to leave me behind, I get that it wasn’t easy for you and I do not blame you for leaving, not anymore, and you need to do the same” she continued “this thing that you’re doing, this is not protecting or caring, this is manipulating and controlling and I don’t want or need this, I need my sister to just be by my side”.   
“I’m sorry” Wynonna said after a few moments of silence.   
“Don’t apologize to me, that’s not the point here” Waverly started getting heated up again “you think you’re trying to protect me and you said it yourself that you’re willing to do whatever it takes to ensure that, but what you just did?” She pondered. “It was plain cruel”.   
“I know, I know okay?” Wynonna yelled “I know that I was wrong and that I crossed too many lines. I know I fucked up and that I hurt one of the only people that genuinely gives a shit about me” she continued “I know all of that and I don’t need you to make me feel guiltier about it!”  
“But I do! Someone has to!” Waverly walked towards her sister to make her message clearer “you just teared down and shamed another woman for stuff she did when she was single, free and consenting. You humiliated your best friend, someone who holds you on such high standards, you were unnecessarily cruel to her over the deranged idea that I’m not able to know what’s best for me” she half yelled “Nicole might be too sweet, good and kind to call you out in your bullshit but I am not”.   
“I...” Wynonna stuttered.   
“When we were kids, dad used to drunkenly sit on this exact chair and try to control every single one of us” Waverly wiped a tear from her cheek “we didn’t grow up together, you weren’t there to see me change from a preteen to the woman I am today and I didn’t get to know the new changed you neither” she said “but if you somehow turned into dad, if you’re someone who can easily do the awful things you just did, then I want nothing to do with you once and for all”.  
“Waverly?” Wynonna said shocked. “You don’t really mean that, do you?”  
“A few nights ago you told me you just looked like an asshole, and I wholeheartedly want to believe you’re a good, generous and kind person” the historian said, taking her time to deliver every word carefully “I know you’re troubled by all of the things you did but it doesn’t justify what you did to Nicole and all the things you’re trying to do to me” she took a deep breathe “I’ve already had to deal with one unnecessarily cruel, absent, heartless and self-absorbed Wyatt Earp, I don’t want to have to deal with another version of his”.   
“I really am sorry” the detective tried.   
“I can see that, so here’s a piece of advice: I don’t need your protection, I need you to be my sister and that’s all” Waverly said “and you need to stop lashing out and disrespecting people that have the guts to call you out”.   
“Where are you going?” Wynonna asked once she noticed her sister walking away.   
“I’m going to Chrissy’s, I think you need some time alone to think a little about the people you wanna keep in your life”. 

Waverly walked towards her bedroom without looking back. The fire in her blood had eased and she couldn’t bear to look at Wynonna’s face knowing exactly how broken and guilty it would looked. It was something to know that the detective needed some though love in order to prevent her from doing something truly unforgivable in an attempt to ease her guilty conscience. But it was something else entirely to see just how hurt she was because of the surprising amount of honesty spat in Waverly’s heated moment. The historian slammed the door frustratedly. A headache was starting to form and the last thing she wanted was to think any further about everything, about Wynonna. About Nicole. 

Something somewhat inexplicable had happened to the redhead and Waverly did not know how to wrap her head around that. The sudden and violent change from the broken woman she had walked away from a week earlier had taken the historian completely unprepared. Seven days and Waverly was a complete blabbing mess while the detective was smooth and bold. Wasn’t for the fact that she had actually accidentally spilled beer all over her kitchen floor, Waverly wouldn’t have believed that had been an unplanned encounter. She laughed lightly. The historian saw her reflection through the mirror she had on the behind her door. She still wore Nicole’s jacket even though she didn’t feel cold at all. It just felt good and right to be embraced and involved in the detective’s smell. It was a lot like being between her arms. Something Waverly wished for more than anything, especially in that moment. 

The historian picked up her phone from the nightstand and hesitantly checked to see if Nicole had texted or called her. Maybe, just maybe the detective longed for her presence like she did hers. Disappointingly enough, her only notifications were emails from the university. Waverly tried to brush it off but that ever present mistrust made her question whether or not the detective had meant her confession. Taking a long deep breathe, the historian put a couple of clothes, her charger and a brand new red toothbrush on a small bag. She unlocked her phone without allowing herself a second to feel the lack of notifications and quickly texted her friend asking for permission to stay over for the weekend . Waverly grabber her car keys and walked the small distance from her bedroom to the front door with her head hanging low. She nearly managed to make it to her car unnoticed when a calm, and yet extremely surprising voice called her name. 

“Miss Earp” Henry tilted his hat “may I steal five minutes of your time?” He asked.   
“I...” she considered brushing him off but changed her mind “sure, what can I do for you?”  
“I’m sorry” he said “it shouldn’t have been you the one to confront Wynonna, I heard all you said and I can only imagine what you’re feeling right now”.   
“You can?” Waverly arched her eyebrow in disbelief.   
“You’re not a rebellious teenager, you’re a grown woman and you don’t seem to take pleasure in being ruthless, I guess it’s safe to say it hurt you to do that.” Henry said sympathetically. “Wynonna went out with Xavier, well she went out and he followed, so you can rest assured she’s safe”.   
“Thank you” the historian let out a deep breathe.   
“And I have a key of the house so I’ll take care of everything around here” he smiled.   
“Okay” Waverly nodded, suddenly feeling very vulnerable and exposed “I should go”.   
“I have something for you” Henry picked up a piece of paper from his shirt’s pocket “you might wanna read it before you leave”.   
“Okay...” the historian temptingly reached out and took the napkin from him.   
“There’s a spare key inside the mailbox” the man said “and Waverly” his tone a lot more serious “please do not hurt her”. 

The historian simply nodded. The thin piece of paper was burning a hole through her hand, the endless possibilities were making her anxious. So she didn’t open it while they talked, nor did she do it when she opened the Jeep’s door and hit the gas. Waverly, who prided herself in being a collected person only mustered enough courage to unfold the white piece of paper when she was forced to stop the car at a red light. The historian felt one single tear escaping from her right eye. Suddenly Waverly couldn’t hold it any longer, her feet trembled with the need to push the gas pedal. The traffic light slowly changed to green and the historian speeded up towards a new destination. On the sit by her side laid the napkin with hurriedly written, in black ink, all Waverly had been waiting to hear for the past two months since laying her eyes on Nicole Haught. 

“I am ready”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two things, next chapter will put the Mature rating into this story ;)
> 
> And... WE GET A BRAND NEW EPISODE OF WYNONNA EARP TONIGHT!!!!


	16. Ops I Did it Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys remember that this is an M rating story?! ;)

Nicole peeked through the curtains. The street was strangely calm for a Friday night. It looked almost as if everyone was waiting for something to happen.. It was a stupid feeling really, but it helped ease a bit of the tension she felt while she waited for her night to turn around. The detective checked her watch. It had been over an hour since she left the homestead and it was more than enough time for Doc to pass along the message to Waverly. Nicole knew that her friend had done the job, so the only rational reason for the delay was that the historian wasn’t coming at all. The detective knew that it was very plausible that Waverly had simply thrown the napkin away, especially after the reunion. But Nicole thought that maybe, just maybe, after everything that had happened at game night, the historian would finally understand just how much she wanted her and what she was willing to riskfor her. 

Nicole sighed. The more she looked at her watch, the more frustrated she got. She was starting to let her mind wonder and it was taking her to dark places she’d rather not visit at that hour, or ever again. The detective placed both her feet on the floor and opened her hands, letting them rest on top of her thighs. Nathan had taught her that years earlier, the act was supposed to create a better blood flow and consequently help her relax. Breath in for five seconds, hold for six and breathe out for seven. Repeat. Except it didn’t really do the trick. But it kept her mind off the waiting around and it was the best Nicole could wish for at that point. She had taken more deep breaths than she could count and useless meditation skills were the only thing holding her back from finishing the recently opened bottle of wine in on the table. 

The detective had stopped at a liquor store right after leaving her best friend’s house. The cashier knew her from previous expeditions and promptly pulled the whiskey she’d usually buy, realizing it was one of those night. The redhead however had no real intention to drink, she had stopped by only for the comfort of a routine. The cashier shrugged and left the detective to her devices knowing how unlikely it was for her to leave empty handed. She ended up deciding to buy three bottles of wine. Nicole had excused it by saying it would be a nice thing to have around the house if Waverly showed up. But what she really wanted was something to take the edge off, and maybe to numb her mind should the other woman bail on her. The detective looked at the wine on the table, she had no idea when she had started drinking it straight from the bottle but she knew it was more than halfway gone and hadn’t helped at all to take the edge off. In fact, as Eliza had put it, the alcohol was doing nothing other than cloud her judgment and power her insecurities. She sighed once more as she led the bottle to her lips again. 

Nicole nearly missed it. If she hadn’t beenpaying attention to every little thing that happened outside, she wouldn’t have heard the car carefully parking in front of her house. The detective got up from the couch but was too scared to actually walk to her front door. She heard her mailbox opening and closing and she heard the key turning inside the lock. Nicole noticed the doorknob turned and she couldn’t help the pleased surprised as she saw Waverly standing in her doorway. The historian looked at her with an intensity that the detective didn’t remember ever seeing in anyone. There was a fire burning behind her eyes that made the redhead both freeze in place and long to run to her. But they didn’t move a single muscle. They didn’t even close the door that allowed in the chilly air. Nicole shook her head and smiled, Waverly was there and she didn’t want hold back anymore. The detective knew without a shadow of a doubt that what she wanted most in the world, at that moment, was to be with the historian. The redhead went to close the distance between them but Waverly raised her hand, stopping the woman in her tracks. 

“Stop” she said.   
“Waves?” Nicole said confused.   
“Do not take another step” Waverly said.   
“Okay” the detective could only imagine how the other woman was feeling and all that was going through her mind.   
“Okay” the historian took a deep breathe. She closed the door and leaned against it, pulling the napkin out of her bag. “Did you mean this?”  
“What do you think?” Nicole tried.   
“I don’t want to raise my hopes up and have them destroyed into nothing once again” Waverly said, her voice trembling with anxiety “I need to hear you say it, alright?”  
“Since the moment I laid eyes on you, I wanted you” the detective begun “with every kiss and every touch, and with every single second I spent thinking about you I wanted you more” she continued “you took me by surprise and I didn’t know how to react to you, I don’t think I ever will” she laughed lightly “but I know what I want and I’m ready to be with you, if you still want me”.   
“Say it again” the historian asked, her voice dripping with emotions.   
“Waverly Earp” Nicole walked towards her “I want you”.

The distance between the two women was nearly insignificant at that point but no one dared to move any further. The three words lingered heavy in the air and a deafening silence fell upon them. Nicole wondered if there had ever been a quiet like that in the entire world. She had handed her heart to Waverly and the silence was nearly unbearable. The detective couldn’t handle to look at the brunette while she waited for an answer, so she looked at her feet instead. She thought it was a terrible idea to use flip-flops with socks but she was cold and needed the comfort. Nicole looked at the tiny hole that had begun forming near her toe. She really needed new socks, specially if she was going to keep using them with flip flops.

Nicole begun to look little higher. Waverly worn surprisingly high heels which made her about just as tall as the detective. The redhead wondered how hard it had been to walk in snow with those shoes. The historian might have noticed the distant thoughts in Nicole’s mind because she carefully slid one foot closer to the detective. The redhead smiled shyly as their feet met, her fluffy socks and her date’s fancy high heels. A second later and a hand was resting in the nape of her neck. Nicole gaze locked in the proximity between their feet. The detective closed her eyes and lifted her head. She didn’t need to look anywhere else, she didn’t need a visual guide, her body reacted instinctively to the other woman. The redhead wet her lips and with the encouragingly tightening grip on her neck, Nicole closed the small gap, at last, kissing Waverly. 

The historian tasted like beer. That was the first thing Nicole noticed. The unmistakable bitterness of the hops mixed with the useless flavors used to try and mask the original taste of beer was all the detective could feel at first. It was all she could truly do since all of her senses had suddenly been overwhelmed with the breathtaking feeling that was Waverly Earp’s kiss. Nicole raised her hands to the historian’s face. Her thumbs caressing her cheeks with incredible softness for she was too scared that the woman would disappear if she took one wrong turn. The kiss was slowly beginning to take her breath away and the detective didn’t care if she drowned in it. As the air started missing from her lungs, Nicole found it exponentially harder to keep herself under control.

It didn’t take long for the lightness in the room to shift. Nicole’s body moved as if it had a mind of its own. Her hands found their place on the historian’s hair, caressing it lightly. She passed her fingers through it mindlessly until the need for more took over. The detective pulled the brunette’s hair lightly, and Waverly’s entire body trembled. Nicole’s brain couldn’t process anything else. Next thing she knew, the redhead was blindingly leading them across the room. They stumbled upon the coffee table, but not even the loud noise from the empty wine bottle falling into the wooden floor was enough to stop them. Waverly casually bit on Nicole’s lower lip and the detective felt her knees weakening. Memories of the treehouse started filling in every single one of the detective’s neurons and she knew she was at a turning point. Her remaining resolve lessening with every passing second. Struggling, the redhead pulled away. 

“Waves” Nicole said between deep breathes.   
“No” Waverly mumbled, trying to pull the woman back in.   
“Waves, please, can we stop?” She asked even though she hated herself for doing so because it was the last thing she actually wanted to do.   
“Nicole, I swear to fucking God” the historian said frustratedly.  
“What?” The detective was at lost, her brain still struggling to function.   
“If this is you changing your mind about being ready” Waverly begun “you will never hear from me ever again, regardless of how small this fucking town is I’ll make sure our paths never cross again!”  
“That’s not...” Nicole giggled. She kissed the top of the other woman’s head. “I want you so, so bad”.   
“You’ve got a really funny way of showing it” the historian sighed relieved.   
“I know, I know” the redhead smiled “I just wanted to make sure that you’re okay with this, that you really want it” she continued “it’s more than okay if you want to take things slow, we don’t need to do anything, we can just sit and have a glass of wine while we watch something bad on tv”.   
“I know” Waverly smiled back.   
“But Waves” Nicole took the historian’s hands in hers and kissed it lightly “I mean what I said, I’m ready for wherever this takes us”.   
“How about, right now” she begun “you take me to your bed, Detective Haught?”  
“You...” the redhead shook her head amusedly. 

The historian smiled and Nicole wholeheartedly thought there was nothing more beautiful in the entire world. The detective caressed her face slowly, she knew she’d have forever to memorize every inch of her body but even then her finger begged for more contact. Nicole cupped Waverly’s face and the historian closed her eyes. Anticipation weighed heavy in the air but there was an unspoken warmth coming from the acknowledgment that it wouldn’t be their last time. Far from it. Nicole’s thumb traced Waverly’s lower lip. At that point it probably tasted like the cheap wine the detective had been drinking. It surely tasted like home. Nicole tilted her head and kissed Waverly Earp once more. 

Slowly, they started moving towards the bedroom, the kisses getting messier as they went. But it did not matter to any of them if they accidentally bumped noses. They were kissing each other and there was nothing and no one, not even their own selves, holding them back. The detective heard Calamity purring as they walked by her bed. The poor cat was probably extremely surprised at the unexpected turn of event in her owner’s life. Nicole laughed in the middle of the kiss as she heard the light taps of the cat’s steps following the couple. She closed the door behind them once they got to the room knowing well enough that Calamity fully intended on hopping on the bed. The cat, however, would have to wait a long time to take the detective’s attention away from the historian. 

Nicole pulled away so she could look at Waverly. Her mind was running at a thousand miles with all the things she wanted to do to the woman in front of her. But more than anything, Nicole wanted to make Waverly feel just how much she was wanted. The detective knew full well just how hurtful it was to not be wanted and to have it flashed right in front of her eyes. And she was willing to do everything to best of her abilities to make sure the brunette felt the exact opposite, not only through the night but through everything the could ever go through. 

Nicole unzipped the jacket that Waverly wore. She pulled on the sleeves, her fingers lightly tracing a burning path down the historian’s arm. Her favorite jacked looked great on the brunette but it looked even better slowly falling onthe floor. The detective looked at the other woman up and down attentively, unable and unwilling to hide the desire burning inside her eyes. Waverly bit on her lower lip, unable and unwilling to hide just how affected she was by the redhead’s intense gaze. Nicole’s hands resting on the historian’s shoulder effortlessly turned her around. She placed tender kisses on Waverly’s neck, smiling as the woman tilted her head in response, granting her more access. Nicole noticed as the brunette shivered when she bit on her earlobe. It was tempting seeing just how turned on the historian already was. But the detective had plans to take things painfully slow. 

Without taking her lips off of Waverly’s skin, Nicole begun undoing the straps of the historian’s dress. The summer dress would’ve fell off on its own, but the detective hung on to the fabric, controlling its descend so her lips could work on the freshly exposed skin. Nicole kissed every inch of Waverly’s back stopping at the rim of her panties. Kneeling, the detective finished pulling the dress down and helping the brunette out of it. Waverly turned around desperate to have the detective’s lips onhers, but before she could do anything Nicole begun kissing her way up. The sight on its own was enough to make the historian weak to her knees. Devilishly the detective’s lips lingered more and more the closer she was to the top of Waverly’s inner thighs. The historian groaned frustratedly as the redhead pulled away once more. Nicole laughed loudly at the sound. 

“A bit impatient are we?” She laughed.   
“Don’t you think I’ve waited long enough?” Waverly pouted.   
“But this is fun” Nicole teased.   
“C’mon” she tried again.   
“But this...” the detective placed a kiss just above the rim of the black laced fabric “is...” she placed another “so... much...” and another “fun!”  
“Nicole just take me to bed!” Waverly said.   
“Then ask for it” Nicole responded in a serious tone.   
“I...” the historian considered “not happening” she said.   
“I might be the one on my knees” she begun “but I will not be the one begging before the night is over” she said,her tone serious. 

The air in the room shifted with that last sentence. There was a heavy promise in the air and it was electrifying. Nicole got up in one quick move and started kissing Waverly passionately. Her tongue slipped into the historian’s mouth and she felt the woman pulling closer. The detective smoothly pushed the brunette towards the bed. Their lips not disconnecting even when they fell together. Nicole used her privileged position to better control the rhythm of the kiss. It was no longer as fast paced as before, it was slower and deeper and it awakened everything inside of them. Desire was pulsing through their veins and the kiss did nothing to quell it. Nicole knew damn well how bothered Waverly was because the second she raised her knee, she heard the historian hissing, her breathing picking up. The brunette went to unbutton the detective’s shirt however, before she could do that, Nicole pulled away mercilessly. 

The detective got up from the bed and painfully slowly striped out of her clothes. Making sure to keep her distance so Waverly couldn’t do anything other than watch. The denim shirt and the white pantsuit were pilled up alongside the historian’s dress and the jacket that she had causally stolen. Much like she had done on that night inside the treehouse, Nicole took a second to look at her partner. The brunette looked beautiful, that was something the detective knew for a fact even before she had known her name. But looking at Waverly Earp laying half naked with her unmatching underwear biting on her lower lip as she waited not so patiently to be inside Nicole’s arms once more was something else entirely. The detective couldn’t deny the tingling sensation on her heart. Not that she wanted to. Not that she would. 

Their eyes locked in a mix of soft adoration and burning desire. Nicole coasted her hand up and down Waverly’s inner thigh unhurriedly, her fingertips barely touching the soft skin there. She softly griped the historian’s hips and, without breaking eye contact the detective started placing warm kisses following her fingers path. Her teeth pressing every so slightly at the edge of Waverly’s underwear. So close that Nicole could feel the wetness beginning to form there as a result of her meticulously slow, burning torture that drove the historian crazy without actually giving her anything. The detective’s thumbs traced the rim of the underwear, her fingers deliberately touching everything else on the way. Waverly closed her eyes and moaned in response. Just a quiet and muffled sound she was unable to hold back inside her throat. But enough to sparkle the first fluttering of something inside Nicole’s core. Or better yet, to make her aware of her own dripping desire. 

The longing came quickly. Craving Waverly was becoming second nature to Nicole. From the first night she had laid eyes on her a sense of craving had settled in her bones bringing along an insatiableness the detective had never felt before. Her will to prolong the teasing weakened and Nicole took Waverly’s mouth in hers with hunger. She raised an strategic knee between the historian’s legs and immediately felt her adjusting her body towards it. The friction did all but ease the heat gradually pooling between her legs, instead, the more they kissed and the more Waverly leaned into her knee, the harder it was for both women to keep their bodies in check. Nicole’s hands drifted up, cupping the historian’s breasts and Waverly grabbed onto the detective’s neck pulling her impossibly closer. Against her better judgement the redhead pulled away drawing a small noise of frustration from Waverly. She smirked and, making sure her lips ghosted the historian’s, she whispered in a husky tone. 

“Easy there baby” she smiled.   
“Nicole!!” the historian pouted.   
“What?” The detective arched an eyebrow.   
“Nicole, c’mon!!” the brunette tried, holding on to the last bit of self control she had.   
“Waverly, tell me what you want” she smirked again.   
“Nicole, please, fuck me” she pleaded.   
“All you had to do was ask” the detective winked playfully.   
“Tease” Waverly groaned.   
“Are you sure?” She asked once more.   
“Yes, please!”

Nicole placed a kiss on Waverly’s lips, her tongue slipping with ease. Effortlessly she unhooked her bra, wasting no time to work her fingers across the soft skin, letting the hell of her hands cup her breasts. Nicole grinned proudly as Waverly hissed in pleasure. She played with her nipple, caressing it between her fingers, pinching it ever so lightly. The historian arched her back, allowing for more access, to which the detective promptly obliged. Waverly grabbed a handful of red hair, desperate to have anything holding her and stopping her from completely falling apart. Nicole kept skillfully working her hands, the detective taking pride in eliciting that reaction from the historian. At every muffled sound the brunette tried to hold back, the pull on Nicole’s lower abdomen grew. She had always been a giver, but seeing the woman under her struggling to control her body, her screams and her reactions were proving to be better than anything. 

Waverly half whispered half whined something which the detective simply ignored until the hand that was holding her hair started pulling a bit harder, demanding more attention. Smiling as a thought crossed her mind, Nicole licked her lips, vividly remembering doing just that many moons before on the barely lit treehouse. The detective pecked Waverly’s lips, laughing audibly as the other woman refused to let go. Nicole placed a kiss on the soft skin of her cheek and the firm skin of her clavicle. She kissed the strong muscles of her shoulders and while one hand skimmed over one, her tongue begun working on the historian’s other nipple. Sweeping, tasting and sucking, Nicole noticed Waverly’s chest moving inconsistently, her breathing picking up as the detective worshiped her body. 

“Nicole, please, I need more” Waverly pleaded.   
“What do you need baby?” The detective said, genuinely wanting to please the other woman to the best of her abilities.   
“You” the historian responded “I need to feel you”.   
“Okay” she said in a determined yet soft tone. 

Nicole ran her fingers through Waverly’s belly before stopping on her waist. She started pulling her panties down and soon her lips followed. Waverly arched her body down to meet the detective’s lips, and she let her, unable to deny her anything any longer. The redhead let her tongue explore every corner and taste every bit of Waverly and she let the woman’s tight grip on her hair guide her. Nicole took in the way the historian would moan or hold her breath when she'd bite down a little or when she'd hit a special spot, and with every new reaction, she would go a little further. The detective noticed how effortlessly things were, how she seemed to know exactly what Waverly liked and how she liked it. Although she had the vivid memories from the tree house to help, Nicole knew without a shadow of a doubt that that effortlessness was something unique and special. 

The detective’s fingers begun working alongside her tongue, tracing random patterns through the historian’s folds. Nicole noticed how the once muffled and constrained moans were turning into loud and incoherent cries of pleasure. She glanced up, Waverly had her head firmly pressed against the pillow and she struggled to keep her eyes open because of the waves of pleasure affecting her every nerve. Nicole slipped one finger inside of her and she saw the historian closing her eyes shut and biting down hard on her lower lip. The detective remained still for a couple a seconds, waiting for the brunette to adjust to the new position but quickly she felt Waverly’s hips moving. She did not need another indication to know how to proceed. 

Nicole slid deeper into the historian’s heat, setting a rhythmic pace, slow at first but speeding up following the other woman’s hips. Curling her finger inside of her, the detective felt every muscle on Waverly’s legs clenching, pressing against her and inciting her to continue. The detective knew her partner was close and she was determine to take her over the edge. Simultaneously she inserted another finger and begun sucking on the woman’s clit. Waverly’s cry was probably the loudest yet and Nicole felt the vibrations hitting her own centre increasing the already noticeable pool between her legs. At that point she did not care if her neighbors had been woken up by their sounds. A few more thrusts and Waverly came crashing, shaking from head to toe. The historian’s mouth hands half opened, her body shivering involuntarily and the grip she had on the detective’s hair loosening slowly. 

Nicole smiled at the sight. She wondered how on earth she had taken so long to say yes. Waverly made her heart flutter and the butterflies in her stomach twist excitedly. She made the detective hot and turned on whilst turning her into a bubbly mess of tingly feelings. Nicole smiled again. In her eyes there were lust, hunger, tenderness and something a lot like love. Waverly mumbled something intelligible, unable to make her mind work and the detective couldn’t help but to laugh in response. She eased her fingers out of the historian and careful with the aftershocks, begun kissing her way back up. Kissing the inside of her thighs, her belly button, her chest and her neck, before finally placing a kiss on her lips. Waverly lazily responded to it, her eyes remained closed but her hands moved to wrap around the detective’s neck. The redhead deepened the kiss needing that intimacy. 

“I think I need a couple of seconds before round two” Waverly laughed.   
“It’s alright, you don’t have to” Nicole said softly “are you okay?”  
“I’m more than okay Nic” she smiled “can’t you see what you just did to me?”  
“I had to make sure” the detective confessed.   
“I know you did, now come here” the historian said, opening her arms and inviting the other woman “cuddle with me”.   
“I have wine and not so fancy cheese” the detective said after a few minutes.   
“Thank you” the brunette smiled “but I have everything I need right here”. She begun combing the detective’s hair with her fingers, untangling the knots and massaging her scalp.   
“You’re beautiful” Nicole said.   
“I bet you say that to all the girls” Waverly joked lightly, unaware of the weight of her words.   
“Waves I...” the detective took a deep breath knowing how those words were simply a joke, however the memories of her best friend’s harsh words were still quite fresh “yes there have been many girls” she said in a serious tone “but I’ve never met a girl like you before, hell, I’ve never met anyone like you before!”  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that” the historian apologized.   
“I know, I know” Nicole pecked her lips “but I need you to know that you’re breathtaking and you’re amazing, kind and with a heart of gold” she smiled “and I mean it, there has never been anyone quite like you”. 

Nicole kissed Waverly. She kissed her passionately and honestly, materializing her confession into the kiss. Pouring everything she had into it, with an urgent need to make the historian understand the truths she was confessing and the ones she couldn’t yet put into words. Nicole straddled Waverly, her hands on the historian’s cheek pulling her closer. The detective felt the brunette’s fingers trailing up and down her back a few times before tentatively stopping at the hooks of her bra. Nicole nodded, answering the silent question and next thing she saw was her bra flying across the room and Waverly’s lips all over her breasts. The redhead cursed herself for having spent so many nights alone in her bed overthinking everything when she could have been feeling the brunette smoothly dragging her teeth through the sensitive area. Skillfully toying with the line between pain and pleasure. 

Nicole felt the pull in her lower abdomen tightening. She knew what she needed and she was done wasting time not having it. Emboldened by her realization, the detective took one of Waverly’s hands on hers and let it down her abdomen straight inside her panties. They moaned together as the historian let her fingers explore between the redhead’s leg. The amount of teasing and seeing Waverly falling apart on her fingertips had been more than enough to get Nicole extremely aroused. Despite being constrained by the thin cotton layer, the historian effortlessly managed to slide into the detective. The redhead let out a loud cry, their position allowing for the heel of Waverly’s hand to apply just enough pressure onto her. It was nearly overwhelming for Nicole to feel the historian everywhere, and she couldn’t help but to fear she might disintegrate with her touch.

Waverly curled her fingers and the redhead felt all the air being sucked out of her lungs. She felt her entire body soften, like if every bone in it had been destroyed by the waves of pleasure spreading all over her every muscle. Nicole held on to the historian, simultaneously begging her to continue and desperately needing something to hold on to. She kept a tight grip on Waverly, desperate to grip onto anything to assure her that it was real. Her head rested against Waverly’s shoulder. Her hands gripped on her hair. The detective heard something being whispered in her ear and she let herself go. Her vision blurred and her legs shook out of control. Nicole’s brain had stopped working at some point but her body, moved at the mercy of the aftershocks. Waverly laughed and carefully helped the detective out of her lap. 

Nicole fell onto the bed, exhaustion written all over her face. She pulled Waverly closer to her. Holding the woman between her arms was quite literally all she needed at that moment. The detective kissed the brunette’s forehead, bits of her hair stuck against the sweaty skin. The room smelled of sweat and sex and of the historian’s coconut shampoo. Nicole thought it wouldn’t be a bad thing if her pillow started smelling of Waverly. The detective felt the brunette placing a lazy kiss on her chest, a comforting reminder of her presence. A much needed act of intimacy, innocent and uncomplicated. Nicole heard Waverly’s breathing evening out and slowing down to a calm and natural rhythm. Her heart beat unhurried. Closing her eyes, the detective let exhaustion take over her.


	17. Sleepover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I know I said I'd update faster and I know I failed at this. I just hope you guys haven't given up on me or on this fic yet. Once again I promise to try my hardest to update quick!  
> This chapter will put a lot of things in perspective (hopefully) and I think it will open many possibilities for the future. Cannot wait to see what you guys think!
> 
> As per usual, kudos to my freaking amazing Beta, who's honestly the shit!

Nicole felt her lips on hers. Tentatively. She was certain that time had frozen and she thought she wouldn’t mind living in that moment forever. The redhead knew with every fiber of her being that she was in love with the other girl. She had been since the moment they met. But it hadn’t been easy getting to where they were. Rolling in bed, struggling to navigate this shift in their relationship. Nicole held her close, taking control of the situation, in need to hold onto something in order to keep her hands from shaking. She breathed in the woman under her. She took in the smell of her perfume mixed with the smell of her shampoo and something uniquely hers. Something Nicole knew she could identify anywhere, at any time, something that kept her awake most nights, daring her to take the leap, to be brave. In fact it was one of the many, many things that made the redhead want to push through her insecurities.

Nicole looked at the girl straddling her. She wanted to admire her, to eye her every curve, to run her finger through every inch of her skin, but she knew she couldn’t wait. The redhead helped the girl out of her dress before taking her own clothes off. Her fingers trembled as she unhooked her bra, there wasn’t a newness to that, they had explored each other’s bodies before but never like that, never not wanting to stop. There was no clock ticking, but both girls knew time was of the essence. They neither could nor wanted to wait one more second, not after taking so long to finally allow themselves to be together. Nicole didn’t care if the whole world came crashing down, she knew then that there was no point in denying that the she wanted the other girl as something more than just friends. And clearly neither did she. 

Their lips hungrily connected. The kiss was sloppy, their noses kept bumping into each other and their teeth kept getting in the way. It was a typical first. Confessing their love and giving in to their unexplored desires. But it didn’t matter, not really, not when paradise was at the tip of her tongue and pressed against her body. The redhead slowly took the other girl’s panties off. Nicole smiled, her cheeks turning as red as her hair. The novelty of it all made that moment even more special. The girl shivered visibly and Nicole wondered if the girl was as nervous as she was, as aroused as she was. The redhead knew the answer, she knew the girl like the back of her hand and she knew the feeling to be reciprocated. Nicole took off her own clothes before kissing the girl. Nicole wanted her so badly she could feel it in her bones, she could feel it in her rapid breathing and in the loud beating of her heart. The loudness of her mind prevented her from hearing as steps moved closer and closer.

Nicole’s mind was so overwhelmed by Sara’s mouth exploring her body that she only noticed his arrival when the door harshly slammed against the wall. She instinctively got up, grabbing her shirt and taking a stand between the angry man and her naked best friend who desperately held on to the comforter to cover herself. Sara was scared. Justifiably scared. But Philip didn’t care much about the blonde and without being told twice she was gathering her things and leaving. Leaving Nicole all alone to deal with her father. The teenager saw things unfold in front of her eyes, desperately trying to protect herself from his anger. She dodged just like her dad had taught her during boxing class but his blows were unpredictable and her skin begun to break. The cuts on her cheek burned but it was the breaking of her heart and soul that killed her. The words he uttered in the twenty minutes he had were enough to completely destroy his younger child. She tried to resist it but she lacked the strength to fight back. 

“No one will ever love someone like you” Philip cursed as Nathan pushed him away “you’ll die alone” he yelled “everything you'll touch will crumble cause you’re rotten!” He continued despite Nathan closing the door. “You hear me girl?! You’re rotten!”

-/-

The dream forced Nicole awake. She woke up soaked in sweat, the room unexpectedly cold making her shiver. The redhead felt every inch of her body complexly on edge, fear crept inside her brain and she could, somehow, feel a presence in the room with her. His presence. And it both crept and freaked her out more than she cared to admit. Nicole massaged her neck, the stiffness in there a result of the terrible dream. She still could feel ghost fingers wrapped around her neck. She could still feel a tight grip closing her airways, blurring her vision and making her head spin. She could still feel something that was supposed to be nothing more than a forgotten distant memory. The detective took a deep breath as to remind herself that she was in her room, in her house, in Purgatory, many many miles away from him. Nicole knew that her nightmare was an all too real memory to simply wish away, to simply forget and she had in fact spent years trying to do everything in her power to move past it. Still, every time she woke up sweating cold, with trembling fingers and an uneven breathing, the detective was taken back to her old room in her old house in the town where she grew up, to the exact place where her father broke her. The detective shook her head and dried the stubborn tear that always escaped her eye every time she unconsciously let the ghost of Philip’s action haunt her.

Nicole scanned the room. The entire thing was turned upside down as if a hurricane had passed by. The mess didn’t help with the uneasiness she felt. The first thing Nicole noticed was that, contrary to her normal habits, the curtains were closed shut. Usually the detective would leave them opened in order to wake up with the natural sunlight but this time around the only natural light illuminating the room came from the partially opened door. Nicole noticed that the sheet was untucked, leaving the majority of the mattress uncovered. She also noticed on the floor, by the bed, a pile of discarded pillows, blankets and clothes. That was when Nicole remembered that, for the first time in months, having Waverly in her bed hadn’t been a dream that lasted for a few minutes only to be replaced by her usual terrible nightmares. On the contrary. The sweating, the hard breathing, the rapid heart beating, the unslept night had been a result of a very real Waverly Earp being in her bed instead of in her mind.

However, in the pile of discarded clothes, a floral salmon summer dress was nowhere to be found. Neither the dress, nor the high heels Waverly had worn the night before, nor the jacket the historian has swiftly made her own. Nicole noticed that the only clothes on the hardwood floor were the ones that she had been wearing before giving herself to Waverly. The sight hurt. The realization that her real life dream had lasted just the night hurt more than she would have liked. It gave room and it made loud the little voice inside her head, the one that constantly made her doubt everything and everyone, especially herself and her worth. As she looked at her clothes on the floor, Nicole heard her father’s voice, repeating itself over and over again.

“No one will ever love someone like you” it said. “You’ll die alone”. It laughed. 

The detective fell back onto the pillow, letting her body hit the bed hard as she did. She wanted desperately to pay no mind to the voice and its small words. But a long time ago she had learned that she couldn’t avoid letting his words affect her. Nicole sensed the unavoidable headache starting to form and she rubbed her temples to try and ease it. The combination of her nightmare with a poorly slept night and the cheap bottle of wine she had finished all by herself wasn’t doing the detective any good. She opened the drawer on her bedside table and picked up two aspirins, swallowing it without bothering to drink water. She wanted to prolonge at all coast the inevitable disappointment and pain of seeing her house empty. Nicole was tired, exhausted in fact but she knew trying to sleep again was of no use. Even if she managed to quiet her mind enough to get some shut eye, the detective knew for a fact that it wouldn’t be a peaceful sleep at all. 

Calamity Jane purred from where she had been left the night before and the detective knew there was no avoiding getting up. The redhead considered grabbing the cat’s food and immediately going back to bed, not worrying about picking up anything to cover her naked body during the excursion. However, Nicole knew from experience that far too many people had a key to her house. People also known as her best friends who had no problem with walking in unannounced at the worst times. Dreading having one of them walk-in on her again she picked up the first thing she found inside her closet. An old oversized T-shirt she had bought at a convenience store on the outskirts of Las Vegas after an impromptu couple’s trip to which they hadn’t taken any luggage. It was ugly and made of a terrible fabric and did virtually nothing to highlight the detective’s body but it was enough to do the job.

Calamity purred loudly as her owner stopped by her bed and caressed her fur and Nicole couldn’t help the small smile that formed on her lips at the sight. The smile, however, didn’t last long, being quickly replaced by a tightening in the detective’s heart. Nicole walked into the living room to find it just as messy as her room, just as affected by Waverly’s sleepover. The furniture was out of placed, moved ever so lightly, indicating a path on which the couple had stumbled through while making their way to the bed. There was shattered glass spread around the table and Nicole had to scratch her mind to remember just when the wine bottle had broken. She vaguely remembered the distant sound of it hitting the floor, but the memory of Waverly’s tongue playing with her own was far more important. 

The red wine had dried out throughout the night, leaving an ugly and discolored stain on the hardwood floor. Nicole made a mental list, going over all the alcohol hacks she had learned throughout the years with her friends. But in all honesty the stain didn’t quite matter, not really. She knew that regardless of how hard it was to clear, she could deal with her wine stained hardwood floors way better than she could handle Waverly not being there. It was frustrating to admit it, but Nicole was somewhat thankful for the stain. At least it was proof that the historian had been there. That they had laughed happily as they kissed. That they had effortlessly fit with one another. Nicole thought that at least the damaged hardwood floor would be a physical reminder that it hadn’t all been in her head. 

But the detective knew that, regardless of whether or not her living room seemed untouched by her, her body and her heart knew better. They had felt what it was like to have Waverly claiming every bit of it. The detective remembered as clear as day how it felt to kiss the historian against her front door, her body still a bit cold from the wind. She remembered easily how it felt to run her hands through the woman’s hair, caressing it and grabbing on to it as she begged for more. Nicole knew what it was like to feel Waverly shiver and utter gibberish as she came down from her high. The detective could never forget just how it felt to declare her love through kisses and touches and long sweaty nights and have it be reciprocated. How could she ever forget what it was like to have been loved by Waverly Earp?

The laughing grew louder inside her head. Philip’s voice laughed and reminded her that those feelings had never been spoken out loud, had never been truly validated. And Nicole found it hard not to believe that she had somewhat imagined the love and the want. At the same time she found it easier to believe the belittling and cruel words that her father spoke to her. Nicole had thought that Sara had wanted her too when despite all the whispered gossip about them in every hallway of their high school, the blonde had still chosen to sleep in the same bed as her. Nicole had also though Sara had confessed her love as they explored each other’s bodies. But Sara had still walked away, left the redhead all alone to deal with the consequences of her broken heart. And so did Waverly. It was easy to let herself believe she was unlovable when she woke up alone to an empty house like that.

Nicole shook her head in an empty attempt to get the thoughts out of her head. She knew she was going to a really dark place and she needed something to get her mind out of that downward spiral. She looked at the pieces of glass by the table deciding it was best to start picking it up before either her or Calamity accidentally stepped on it. The detective carefully kneeled and started picking it up piece by piece. She wrapped the broken glass in a sheet of old newspaper before throwing it inside the bin. Nicole picked up a piece of cloth and a mix of baking soda and water and begun trying to clean the dried up wine stain from the hardwood floor. That’s when, out of nowhere, her front door was pushed opened. A petit figure made her way inside the house, carrying far too many shopping bags for that early in the morning. Moving her hips left and right, she animatedly hummed along to the song playing through her earbuds. It took Waverly a few seconds to acknowledge the detective’s presence, but it took Nicole virtually no time at all to feel her scarred heart speeding up at the sight of her. Putting the bags on the floor, Waverly pouted.

“You’re... here” Nicole said, wondering if she were somewhat projecting the presence in front of her.  
“You’re not supposed to be up!” The historian said.  
“What?” The detective asked, lost.  
“I told you I had left to go buy some groceries and that i would make us breakfast in bed!” Waverly said. “Didn’t you see the note I left you?”  
“What note? What are you talking about Waves?” Nicole asked, still completely lost as to what the historian was saying.  
“Under my pillow” the historian begun “I wrote a note and left it there”.  
“Okay... I didn’t see it” the detective pouted “but why did you leave in the first place?”  
“Well, have you seen your fridge?” The brunette asked. “It has a bottle of vodka, a couple of beers, thy food leftovers and a surprisingly old cabbage” she said “I don’t think even I could make some minimally decent meal out of that”.  
“I didn’t have time to go to the market this week” the detective said embarrassed “I was planning on doing that today or tomorrow”.  
“It’s fine, I got us more than enough food for the weekend” Waverly smiled “you can go shopping on Monday”.  
“Okay” Nicole smiled brightly at the historian’s words.  
“Are you alright?” The brunette asked, finally catching on the weird mood in the room.  
“Yes baby” the detective said warmly “I’m just really happy that you’re here”.  
“Well, I’m not going anywhere”.

Nicole’s smile kept growing bigger and bigger as she watched the brunette making her way through the kitchen seemingly effortlessly. It was a welcomed change of events to suddenly have the beating of her heart being louder than the belittling voice inside her head. And it was a good feeling. Waverly was proving to be a strong enough spark to relit Nicole’s faith in herself. It would be rather stupid to say that the omnipresent voice had disappeared, or even stopped being convincing from time to time. But Waverly continuing to fight for her was more than enough to overpower the voices, for at least some time Nicole knew that she had to have something good about herself, grand even, to have such an amazing woman fight for her so fiercely. It was nearly overwhelming to think just how fast her day had turned around, just how fast her life was starting to.

Waverly placed a couple of bacon slices in a fry pan and begun mixing several ingredients in a bowl as she waited to turn the slices. Nicole felt it again, the tingly feelings spreading through all of her limbs, the feeling that was something like love. The historian picked up a few spices from her shopping bag and added it to the mix before pouring all of it into smalls pans, which the detective had never seen before. Nicole felt her fingers longing to touch her, her arms longing to have the woman between them, her lips longing to crush against Waverly’s. The detective placed the cleaning product and the wet cloth on the table and purposefully walked towards the kitchen. Taking the historian by surprise, Nicole pressed her against the countertop and kissed her. Kissed her with want, with desire, with more certainty than she remembered having about anything in a really long time.

“Wow there” Waverly giggled between the passionate kisses “hold on to your horses detective” she said “I’m going to burn the quiche”.  
“I don’t care” Nicole kept kissing her, taking full advantage of their position against the countertop.  
“Well you should, you drained all my energy last night and if I don’t eat I don’t think I can keep up with you” the historian said.  
“Okay...” the detective pouted.  
“Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?” Waverly asked.  
“I just really needed to feel you baby” Nicole confessed.  
“I’m not at all opposed to that” the brunette said.  
“Except when you’re cooking” the detective joked.  
“Except when I’m cooking” she nodded. Waverly started fidgeting with the kitchen tools and the redhead noticed that something wasn’t quite right.  
“Hey” Nicole tugged on her jacket “what’s wrong?”  
“I just...” the historian considered. “I’m not complaining and I’m wholeheartedly not questioning it, but why did you change your mind?” She asked. “Was it to get back at my sister?”  
“What?” The detective asked, shocked to see the sadness inside the other woman’s eyes.  
“She was the reason you were holding back and after what she did it would be understandable if you wanted to get back at her” Waverly said.  
“Baby no” Nicole placed a kiss on her forehead. “I changed my mind at the reunion because seeing you walk away from me broke my heart and made me realize I didn’t...” she began “I don’t” she corrected herself “I don’t want to see you walking out of my life”.  
“Okay” the historian smiled before kissing the detective.  
“Okay.”

Nicole felt Waverly’s arms wrapping around her neck. The kiss started sloppy and light, a delightful combination of giggles and untouched happiness. The messier their kiss got, the more relaxed they got, letting go of all the built up tension caused by several nights of uneasy minds torn by uncertainty and desire. Nicole slipped her tongue with ease, not being denied the intimacy, adding an unexpected intensity to their easy morning kiss. Waverly tighten her grip on the detective’s neck, accidentally pulling up her oversized T-shirt and revealing a small part of her nakedness. The historian couldn’t hold in the soft moan that escaped her throat as the rim of her dress touched the redhead, awakening every single cell in the detective’s body. Nicole skillfully grabbed the brunette’s thighs, lifting her up and sitting her on the countertop.

The redhead stopped. Looking straight into the historian’s eyes, Nicole painfully slowly unzipped her jacket and discarded it on the kitchen floor. Waverly tried to pull her in, but the detective held her ground unhurriedly, unwilling to speed up her time with the woman. Adjusting her body so she was in the middle of the historian’s legs, Nicole pulled her closer. The rough low quality fabric of her convenience store T-shirt rubbing against the softness of Waverly’s dress. The detective kissed her harder. Her hands caressed the historian’s thighs, tracing random patterns up and down, bringing visible shivers down the brunette’s spine. Waverly nibbed on Nicole’s lower lip, expertly sucking on it immediately after. The redhead’s legs trembled, her mind overloaded and the remaining self-control she had disappeared. The detective’s hands flew to the zipper on the brunette’s dress and she hurriedly begun unzipping it. That was when the kitchen timer went off.

“To be continued” the historian pulled away and winked.  
“You are going to drive me crazy, Waverly Earp” Nicole said, placing a last and soft kiss on her lips.  
“Just another one of the many things I’m going to do to you Detective”, the brunette said.  
“I don’t doubt that” the redhead smiled “I’m going to finish cleaning the table so we can eat”.  
“No! Go to bed, it’s supposed to be breakfast in bed” Waverly pouted.  
“Alright alright” Nicole smiled “there’s a bed tray somewhere in the top left cupboard” she said “are you sure you don’t want any help?”  
“Yes it’s fine, I’ve got this” she said. “Don’t forget to give food to your cat!” The historian reminded her.  
“So you’ve been introduced to Calamity already?” The detective asked. “I bet the asshole chased you to get food”.  
“Well... yeah” she laughed “but I didn’t want to pried any harder than I already had” the brunette blushed.  
“It’s on the top shelf in the laundry room” Nicole said as pointed towards the place “you know, for the next time”.  
“Duly noted.”.

Nicole shook her head amused. The shift in her mood and in the room’s air was visible and the detective was quite certain even the world shone a bit brighter. She grinned as she walked into her room, suddenly not caring at all about the untucked mattress and about the pile of discarded clothes on the floor. Nicole didn’t care at all because she knew the bed would still be messy the next day and even more clothes would be added to the pile before they fell asleep that night. In fact, the thought of having Waverly for another night was enough to make everything else seem small and unimportant. It felt good to have someone in her house that made her heart skip a beat. Someone that wanted to care for her, to laugh with her, to experience the good, to navigate through the bad and to come back again. Someone who wanted to stay.

The detective still fixed the bed. She took off the dirty sheets and replaced them with fresh clean ones making a mental note to put the old ones in the washing machine. She had a feeling she’d be needing clean sheets more frequently. The redhead then placed the comforter on top of the bed, smoothing it in order to get rid of any wrinkles and lastly she fluffed the pillows. Waverly’s note was indeed where she said it would be, under the left side pillow. Nicole smiled at the smooth handwriting and smiled even more at the little doddle at the end. A small heart placed at the end of a sentence. Placed right after the historian’s promise to be right back. Waverly walked in to that scene, Nicole standing in the middle of the room, an idiotic smile placed on her lips. The detective could feel the historian’s eyes on her and she didn’t have to turn around in order to know that she was smiling. The redhead started noticing that whenever Waverly smiled, the whole world truly felt a lot less heavy and lot brighter.

Nicole took the tray from the brunette’s hand, waiting for her to make herself comfortable in bed, before she placed it between the two of them. The detective picked a movie for them to watch while they ate, a documentary about Old Western North America, something that had been on her “to watch list” for nearly two months. They ate in a comfortable silence, focusing on the heavenly taste of Waverly’s carefully prepared breakfast. The spinach quiche on its own was already heavenly, but with the egg poached, the fried bacon, the fresh coffee and the fruit salad, it was damn well the best thing Nicole had ever eaten. The detective knew she’d have to step up her grocery shopping if she was to have Waverly around more often. The redhead was nearly falling asleep when she heard the historian’s soft voice calling her. 

“Nicky?” She asked.  
“Yeah...” the detective responded, sensing a bit of uncertainty in her voice.  
“Can I ask you something?” The historian said.  
“Of course” Nicole smiled “you can ask me anything”.  
“Yesterday, why did you let Wynonna belittle you like that?” The brunette begun. “Why didn’t you defend yourself?”  
“Look, I’ve known your sister for years and as much as we get on each other’s nerves, I know she’ll always be there for me” Nicole begun “all the things she said I don’t deny any of them and I know she didn’t mean to offend or to hurt me” she continued “your sister was simply drunk”.  
“Being drunk doesn’t excuse being a dick” the historian pointed out.  
“True” the redhead said “but your sister always does that, you can ask anyone, especially the boys.”  
“Wait!” Waverly sat straight in one swift move. “Are you telling me this is normal behavior for Wynonna?” She asked. “That’s just great.”  
“That’s not what I meant.” Nicole kissed her forehead. “With time you come to learn that Wynonna Earp is not good with feelings, she’s not good at talking about them or acting on them properly and so she lashes out” she begun “it’s her way of protecting herself, by pushing people away” she continued “by trying really hard to hurt them before they can hurt her.”  
“So wait, what you’re telling me is that everyone simply excuses this?” Waverly asked shocked. “You entertain her whimps just because?”  
“We don’t, I didn’t” the detective said “I know I’m not good at all at standing up for myself and for the things I want” she continued “but I’ve been through so much shit with your sister and I know what’s in her heart even when she does everything to show the exact opposite” she gave the other woman a small smile “god I know she’s probably gonna be all apologetic on Monday because she’s probably feeling extremely guilty right now”. Nicole sighed. “Wynonna only looks like an asshole but she’s in fact everyone’s rock”.  
“Okay... if you say so” the historian laid back on bed “I just don’t want to see you getting hurt at all”. 

Nicole smiled at the words. Waverly was slowly succumbing to her tiredness and her closing eyes stopped her from seeing the passionate smile directed to her. The detective had noticed her choice of words through their morning. Intentionally or not the historian had implicated that she truly thought their relationship would last longer than a night. And Nicole knew , in her bones, that Waverly wasn’t going to be just a one night stand. She had never been just that. From their first kiss in the treehouse, to their close call on the dinner’s bathroom, to all the times the historian had put her against the wall. Metaphorically and literally. Moving away from the brunette had started to become more and more of an inevitability and the more she tried, the more Nicole realized that it was nearly impossible to do that. 

The detective slowly got out of bed. Being careful not to disturb the petit woman’s easy sleep. Nicole picked up the abandoned tray and took it to the kitchen, putting the dirty dishes on the dishwasher and the leftovers in the fridge. She shook her head noticing how right Waverly was about the emptiness of it. The detective picked up a notepad and begun writing down a grocery list, making sure to add diverse and healthy products to accommodate Waverly’s preferences. Nicole felt her muscles aching lightly from the non stop night of exercises and decided to take a quick shower before rejoining the historian in bed. She took a deep, relaxing breath and smiled brightly before pulling the folded piece of paper from her pocket and adding a new item to it. 

“Get a toothbrush for Waverly”.


	18. Fist fight a thunderstorm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter will discuss a lot of things you guys have been asking and commenting about. Writing this took a completely different direction than initially planned, which, in time, will change a bit of the story I had initially planned. For the better though.  
> The next two or three chapters will be very heavy so buckle up Earpers!  
> Also, thank you guys for being absolutely fantastic and understanding and for keep coming back to this story even though I'm taking forever to upload (I try to be better, I promise).  
> How often do I have to thank my amazing beta? You guessed it, ten thousand times to infinity cause she rocks!

Nicole parked her car at her usual spot in front of the precinct. She was early by the looks of the parking lot. The only other car she could see, aside from the usual police ones and the visitors’ was Dolls’, which made total sense since he was always the first one in and last one out. She picked her bag from the back sit, careful not to accidentally destruct the salmon and cream cheese sandwich that Waverly had prepared before they left the house. Nicole stopped by the coffee truck outside and got herself two cups of black coffee to help ease a bit of her tiredness. Entering the building, the detective tilted her hat, greeting everyone inside the lobby. People looked at her annoyedly but she didn’t really care. It was justifiable to see the eye rolls and hear the quiet huffs, the detective was the only person with a bright smile on a Monday at seven in the morning. Little did they know that that smile had been planted on her face throughout the entire weekend.

The detective had spent the last two days in bed with Waverly. The sleeping turned to light kisses that developed to hungry eyes, loud moans and scratches down her back. The sex led to tired limbs entangled around each other’s. Sleeping with the smell of Waverly’s shampoo and waking up to it was something that dreams are made of. The remaining time was spent laughing in the kitchen while in their underwear and wrapper around a blanket in the living room binge watching an entire season of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Nicole had woken up, that Monday morning, just before her alarm clock went off. She got to admire the historian for a little while before she woke up. Completely asleep, Waverly looked even more beautiful than usual. Her relaxed figure brought peace to the detective’s heart along with its usual fluttering. The historian woke up about half an hour later, surprised by the late hour.

“Oh my god!” She said. “Look at the time!”  
“Don’t worry, it’s fine” Nicole calmed her down “you’re not late”.  
“Nearly” Waverly protested “why didn’t you wake me?”  
“If I had woken you up, you would have left and that’s the last thing I wanted you to do” the detective confessed “so I chose to let you sleep for a little longer so I could enjoy you a little more”.  
“It’s six am and you’re being adorable” the historian smiled “but I’m afraid if I don’t go to class, I’m going to get fired and that’s the last thing I want”.  
“Probably not” Nicole giggled “I don’t think I could transfer to London” she said “you guys eat beans for breakfast”.  
“Offensive” Waverly tried not to laugh “take that back”.  
“Nop” the detective stood her ground.  
“Take it...” the historian pressed the redhead on the bed “back”.  
“Make me” Nicole smiled defiantly.

The memory of them rolling in bed, for what seemed like the tenth time that weekend, brought a smile to her lips. Nicole could clearly picture Waverly’s face as they rushed out of the house, clothes disheveled and running against the clock. Her cheeks were red from the sudden exposure to the cold weather, her eyes shining with happiness and her hand wrapped around the detective’s. Nicole drove her to the university, the brunette wore clothes one size too large that she had casually borrowed from the redhead’s closet. When the detective dropped her off, the goodbye lasted for a little longer than necessary neither of them longing to spend the day apart, to leave their happy bubble and the world they had built up during the weekend. Nicole kissed Waverly in front of the university nonchalantly, caring very little about anything else other than having the historian’s lips on hers as much as possible.

The detective saw Sergeant Dolls at his desk, a preoccupied frown on his face as he worked on a few papers. Nicole noticed his small nod, his way of acknowledging her presence without having to stop whatever he was doing. Her mood shifted significantly for his usual blasé behavior reminded her of how he, and all of her friends, had gone completely silent on Friday night. It was the first time since then that the redhead had truly allowed herself to think back to it. Regardless of how expected and normalized Wynonna’s behavior was, it still stung to not have any of her friends standing up for her. Jeremy and Eliza had started the game knowing it would lead to nowhere good and yet they were the firsts to go silent. Doc and Dolls were quiet as they always were when Wynonna was being Wynonna. And Waverly, well the poor girl had been just as shocked as the detective. It didn’t really matter the reasons they had for not doing anything and it surely didn’t matter that it wasn’t the first time that it happened. It still stung to feel exposed, unprotected and all alone. 

Nicole shook her head, willing the anger growing inside of her to subside. She had no intention of being a pushover or to let anyone walk over her, but it was seven in the morning, on a Monday, after having one of the best weekends of her life and Nicole had no intention at all to get worked up. She walked past the Sergeant and went straight to her desk. The redhead sipped on her coffee and took a generous bite of her breakfast. The spinach quiche, once more, bringing back the cherished memories. Nicole chuckled lightly as she remembered Waverly kicking her out of the kitchen for, as the historian had casually put, the redhead could burn water. The detective loved having the brunette care for her so badly that she didn’t have the guts to tell Waverly that she actually knew how to cook. An ability she had had to learn once she left home. Completely absorbed in her own thoughts, Nicole only noticed her friend’s presence when a pair of boxing gloves fell onto her desk.

“What the fuck?!” The redhead snorted.  
“You and me” The brunette signaled between them “we are hitting the gym right now”.  
“Wynonna, it’s seven in the morning” Nicole pointed out “I’m not going to spare with you”.  
“Yes you will” she said “I did not wake up this early for you to refuse” she continued “plus, I know you’ll never pass an opportunity to hit the gym”.  
“I’ve already worked out today” the redhead lied.  
“Bullshit” Wynonna called her bluff “whenever you exercise you get this wave of energy and right now” she said “you look like you did not want to leave your bed”.  
“Fine” Nicole sighed “but I’m not going to work out with you”.  
“Oh for fucks sake, just get your ass to the gym so you can try to beat me up and we can move on from the things I said” Wynonna said frustratedly.  
“This isn’t an apology Wyn” the redhead said “and it surely isn’t a healthy way to deal with things”.  
“Since when do we respond to things in a healthy way?” The brunette said “just... just come with me okay?”  
“… Uh, fine, let’s go”.

The redhead huffed annoyedly but her friend was already too far to hear her protests. Nicole knew that that wasn’t a good (you’ve already said it) way of dealing with things, that that was exactly the opposite of both healthy and dealing. But she didn’t say anything, not really, not when that was something they’d grown used to doing whenever they needed to verbalize something they weren’t ready to speak about outloud. Both women would spend hours at the dojo perfecting their techniques and sparring until they felt their limbs giving up due to exhaustion. Nicole liked to work out with Wynonna until she was too tired to think about anything else and she knew her best friend felt the same. But they also knew that wasn’t healthy at all, it was simply a fleeting solution for deep rooted issues. Nevertheless it was still, somewhat, a solution and most of the time it was the only one they dared to consider. 

Nicole changed in the dressing room. Thankfully, she always kept a bag with extra clothes and sportswear in her locker for rainy days. Should she hadn’t been always prepared, the redhead would’ve been caught shorthand since, when leaving the house in the morning, she had been so distracted that she had barely remembered to pick up her car keys. The detective sighed at the thought. She knew that Wynonna was going to use the sparring as an apology but Nicole wanted them to sit and talk for once about all the things that had been said and all the things that hadn’t. The redhead didn’t fancy the thought of acting behind her best friend’s back and more, she didn’t enjoy the guilt that came with doing just that. However, the detective knew it was neither the time nor the place to have that kind of conversation. For that they would need to actually communicate, with words, as responsible mature women do.

When the redhead finally reached the dojo, Wynonna was already warmed up. The thin layer of sweat on her forehead indicated that she had been preparing for her friend’s arrival. Nicole figured she had been working on BOB since the woman’s favorite warm up for a fight was, well, fighting. The redhead on the other hand picked up a rope and started skipping. Slow at first but growing in speed as her body welcomed the exercise. The act, alongside the short set of push-ups and sit ups had been enough to ease her stiffened muscles. Nicole’s weekend long work out, as pleasant as it had been, had worn her out more than she’d liked to admit. After a little while, Wynonna coughed impatiently in order to get her friend’s attention.

“Are you all set?” she asked.  
“Yep” Nicole nodded.  
“Can we get to the actual sparring then?” Wynonna asked.  
“Are you sure you want to?” The redhead cautioned.  
“Yes” the brunette begun “do you remember the ground rules or should we go over them?”  
“The first rule of Fight club is...” Nicole started but was quickly interrupted by an eye roll “fine, I’m kidding”.  
“If you tap out, we restart” Wynonna said “but we keep going until someone really wants to stop”.  
“Let’s go”.

Both women made their way to an opposite corner of the improvised ring. Nicole noticed the several marks on the mat, a result of years of enduring fight after fight after fight. There were scratched bits where people had struggled to free themselves from their opponent’s joint locks or chokeholds. There were dried out stains from where bleached blood mixed with sweat and tears. Butthere were also great things inside the dojo that reminded her of just how amazing being there was. On the opposite wall, there was a trophy and a handful of pictures from last year’s state convention. The trophy crowned Purgatory Police Department the winners of that year’s state sparring competition. Nicole could still vividly remember her final blow on a firefighter from a neighbor county.

The redhead nodded to herself. As much as she didn’t want to spar that early in the week, the memories of her victory lit the competitive fire inside of her. Focusing once more on her best friend and current opponent, Nicole begun the last minute preparations. She double checked her handwrap, making sure that it gave her wrist enough stability and her knuckles protection. The last thing the detective wanted was to hurt her fingers. She then put on the gloves, pulling the velcro as tightly as possible to, once again, avoid any fracture in her hands. Wynonna made her way to the center of the mat and the redhead quickly followed. They nodded, signaling that they were all set, and touched gloves.

Nicole pulled away from Wynonna, taking advantage of the entire ring and adjusting their distance so she was in advantage. Her footwork was consistent. The redhead took small steps and kept her stance narrow. She balanced her weight as she walked, making sure to keep a stable footing. Nicole threw a few lazy jabs to measure the distance. She didn’t want to be too far so she couldn’t reach her opponent with swift moves and she didn’t want to be too close so the brunette could have a close fight. The redhead knew that Wynonna’s shorter height meant that the woman would either go for the kicks or she’d draw her in and try to take the fight to the floor. They studied themselves for a few moments, circling each other and calculating the best time to make their move. Accustomed as they were to the sparring, both detectives knew they still had a lot to learn about each other, their styles and about the fighting itself.

Wynonna threw the first blow. She took a step back and raised her rear leg up, feigning a kick, only to snap the leg back while throwing a cross. But Nicole was faster than the upcoming blow. The redhead slapped her hand down, guiding it away from its intended target and messing up with her balance. The redhead immediately countered it with a right hook that hit Wynonna’s shoulder. Nicole adjusted her footing before throwing a high kick that her best friend couldn’t dodge in time. Wynonna shook her head to alleviate the blow and winked, causing the redhead to grin proudly. Nicole had established that she wasn’t going to play around and they were both unabashedly excited to push themselves and each other to deliver better, stronger and more effective blows.

The redhead made the next move and so they began trading kicks, punches and throws. Both women used techniques from different fighting styles. Things they had picked up here and there through their lives and careers. Wynonna threw a punch combination that she had learned from Doc a few months earlier. Nicole used wrestling throws to slam her best friend down. As they moved around the mat, successfully landing their attacks, Nicole begun getting heated and subsequently her moves were no longer technique driven. The redhead slowly lost control of her mind, allowing it to drift to the events of Friday night and how small and helpless she had felt. The anger pushed her forward despite the tiredness of her body and with a deadly combination, Nicole knocked the brunette down.

“I’m done. I’m done” Wynonna said from where she laid on the floor “KO.”  
“Are you sure?” The redhead asked.  
“Nicole, you just landed a right hook straight to my face and then proceeded to throw my body over your shoulder” the brunette begun “I think I’m quite done”.  
“I’m sorry” she apologized, suddenly feeling very guilty for letting anger get the best of her.  
“Don’t, it’s fine. It was a great fight” Wynonna reassured her “Plus, like I said earlier, you needed to hurt me back”.  
“Wyn...” the redhead tried to speak.  
“No, it’s fine, I deserve it” Wynonna sighed “I’m sorry for everything I did and said on Friday” she begun “all of that was completely uncalled for”.  
“That’s true” Nicole agreed.  
“I had literally no right to say any of the things I did, not that anyone would have, but I definitely don’t” the brunette laughed “and if we're being honest, I’m responsible for most of your adventures”.  
“For better or for worse” the redhead pointed out.  
“My point is, I owe you an apology and I need you to know that I didn’t mean any of the things I said” Wynonna took a breath before continuing “I was wrong and I am sorry”.

Nicole was taken completely aback. She had known Wynonna for over five years, but never, not once, not about anything, had she heard the woman both apologize and admit that she was wrong in one single sentence. The brunette wasn’t joking and wasn’t pretending. There was only truth in her words and that was the strangest of all. Wynonna always used every single trick in the book to avoid being emotionally honest. She used jokes and irony to actively push away and hurt the people that loved her the most. Nicole couldn’t really understand why this had changed all of a sudden. They had had worst fights before, in fact, once, soon after they had became friends, there was a fight in Shorty’s that involved beer being thrown and several broken chairs. But something was indisputably changed and, as unfamiliar and weird as it was, it was for the better.

The redhead laid on the floor with her best friend. Both women stayed silent, taking in the weight of those words. Nicole looked at the ceiling to the fan, trying to focus on something other than the awkwardness between them, and allowing her mind to drift. She didn’t have to ask the question because she knew who had made the brunette apologize. Amongst their friend group, the brunette’s had never found anyone willing to hold her back, instead, as Waverly had casually put, they all simply went along with whatever Wynonna said and did. It had started as a way to keep the peace within the group, whenever Wynonna would lash out, they’d just let her and then they’d move on knowing she’d eventually come around. But at some point, they had begun abiding by her wishes, wills and whimps. The Scooby gang was to blame for her behavior getting so rash and unpredictable. 

Nicole sighed. There she was once again going out of her way to excuse people’s unjustifiable behavior towards her. She always did that, tried to find some good in people or at least some obscure reason for them being assholes. Sometimes she hated that. Nicole wanted to be mad at Wynonna for all the things she had said, for openly judging her for things the redhead had done in the past, for humiliating her in front of the woman she was starting to love and for making everyone, the redhead included, think she wasn’t good enough. And there she was, genuinely acknowledging her behavior and offering an actual apology. Nicole closed her eyes and massaged her temple trying to undo some of tension. She was torn between her anger and her empathy. The redhead had every right to be beyond pissed off, but as she had told Waverly, she knew what truly lived inside her best friend’s heart, and that it was something good. 

“I accept your apology, but Wyn, I just don’t understand one thing” she said.   
“And what is it?” Wynonna answered.  
“You said you didn’t mean any of the things you said and I believe you, so why did you say them?” The redhead asked.   
“I was drunk and acting stupid and in that moment I lashed out on you” the brunette said “you were the easiest target and I just couldn’t help myself, that’s all”.   
“I was the easiest target, of course” Nicole sighed. She looked at the fan, took a deep breath and continued pushing. “Am I the weakest of us because you know I won’t stand up for myself or because I’m already so broken that it is incredibly easy to take me down?” She continued. “Actually, don’t answer that. Tell me, were you just spitting hateful words or do you actually believe I’m that terrible that I could never be worth of someone like your sister?”  
“No, no, God no” the brunette shook her head “you are far from being weak, you are one of the strongest people I know and you’re good” her tone was calm “to be completely honest you probably are the only truly good person in this godforsaken town” she considered her words “well, you and Chetri”.   
“But you don’t thinkt I am actually good enough for your sister, that’s it right?” Nicole pushed.  
“For fucks sake Nicole, stop it!” She yelled. “Haught, you’re good, like annoyingly good, you care for everyone in Purgatory, even those who have wronged you” she continued, trying very hard to regain her composure “god, you even moved heaven and earth to rescue Bunny Loblaw when leaving her in that biker’s bar would’ve made your life much easier” she rolled her eyes “and that’s only one example of you being outstandingly good for people you don’t even know. Do I really need to say just how lucky my sister would be to have someone like you?”  
“Then I really don’t get it” the redhead said, letting her anger out “if I am so good and kind and whatever, and if I’m relationship goals, then why would you so fiercely and cruelly use the dirties cards you had just to humiliate me in front of our friends and Waverly?”  
“Because...” Wynonna tried to keep calm.   
“What?” Nicole yelled.   
“Because I don’t want Waverly to stay here forever” she yelled back “she has grown up and has become such an amazing woman! I don’t want her to get stuck on this shit show excuse of a town that has brought us nothing other than loss and pain” she said.   
“What?” The redhead asked surprised. “I thought you wanted Waverly to stay”.   
“And I do. But I want her to stay because she’s finally able to see Purgatory as her home again” Wynonna shook her head “I want my sister to stay because I have been able to give her back the home I took from her” her voice trembled “for once I don’t want to be a deadbeat piece of shit that broke her, I need to prove that I have changed and that I’m worthy of her respect”.   
“Wyn, it’s clear all that you’ve done for this town and you’re a key part of it being less of a hellish place” Nicole argued.   
“You just don’t get it, I’m sorry” the brunette said.   
“Okay, then” the redhead sighed “but I still don’t understand where I fit in this story”.   
“You’re light and you make everything and everyone around you better. I’m certain you could get Waves to turn a blind eye for all that she once had to endure in this town and I don’t want her to stay because she can overlook the bad”.  
“That’s...” Nicole went to say, but she was cut before she could continue.  
“Selfish, I know” the brunette shook her head.

Nicole noticed how heavy the air in the room was. It was obvious that after a conversation like that the room would be tense. But the redhead noticed something as well. She noticed how strangely at ease Wynonna was. Usually, whenever she was forced to talk about her emotions the woman would be either extremely angry or incredibly distant. But that wasn’t the case that time around. Instead, Wynonna remained laid on the floor, taking deep breaths that felt a lot like relief and Nicole understood where that came from. Their shoulders weighed way too much because of all the feelings they tried so hard to burry out of sight and out of mind. Nicole shook her head and her attention turned to the woman by her side. 

After a little while, Wynonna got up from her place on the mat and begun walking away from her friend. The brunette walked all the way over to the biggest punching bag in the dojo and begun analyzing it. Wynonna threw one punch at it, knocking out her imaginary adversary. And then she threw another and another and another. The woman delivered consistently paced hits until her rapid breathing prevented her from going any further. And Nicole observed her in complete silence, knowing that, regardless of how relieved she was with the things she had said, the words had not been easy at all to speak. But as the redhead watched her friend, she realized that something about her was different. For once, the woman wasn’t using aggression as a form of avoiding thinking about something, instead, the redhead knew that every time her friend hit her imaginary mark, she dived in deeper and deeper into her thoughts. 

Wynonna delivered one last punch before collapsing into the nearest chair. She took long, deep breaths to recompose herself while whipping the sweat of her face with her own sweaty T-shirt. Slowly the brunette begun unwrapping her handwrap, the bruises on her knuckles already beginning to turn purple. Once again, there was a shift in the room, a change in the atmosphere that Nicole could feel in her bones. The quiet made her anxious like somehow she knew the worst hadn’t passed and she begun overthinking and overanalyzing things. At some point throughout her best friend’s words, Nicole’s anger had dissolved into understanding that had then turned to guilt. The redhead knew that their fight had been the last straw for what Wynonna had been hiding and she felt guilty because of it. Because maybe, just maybe, even though the brunette needed to get those things off her chest, she wasn’t ready to do that. 

The silence started to grow. It shadowed every corner of the room, creeping everywhere. It was no longer simply awkward and anxiety inducing, it wasn’t even just an omen of bad winds. The silence made her skin crawl and, to Nicole, it was nearly unbearable. The redhead opened her mouth a couple of times, trying, to no avail, to find words to fill in the void. Wynonna massaged her knuckles to ease some of the soreness in there, seemingly unaware of the weight of her silence. She drank her whole bottle of water and only then she looked at her best friend again. Nicole wanted to say something, but something made her stay quiet. She knew it wasn’t her time to say anything. Wynonna took the opening and, after adjusting her position on the chair, begun talking. 

“When I was an early teen I killed my dad and my older sister” Wynonna confessed point blank.  
“What?” Was all the redhead managed to say.  
“Bobo and his gang raided the house and took Willa” she begun “Daddy went to save her but he forgot his gun, I think he was too drunk to remember” she continued “Waverly woke up before I did and she started desperately running after them only to have herself taken as well” she took a deep breath “I heard the screaming, grabbed peacemaker and started shooting at any and everything that moved”.  
“Wyn...” Nicole tried.  
“Waverly was barely a child and the only reason she was able to escape was because she was too small and she could escape the bullets” Wynonna said “Daddy and Willa weren’t so lucky”.  
“You were a child, trying to protect your family” the redhead argued but her friend brushed her off.   
“I went to police custody for a few nights and Waverly was temporarily allocated into foster care. Somehow Nedley managed to get both of us to London to live with our aunt but by then I was too damaged to do anything” the brunette confessed “I ran away from home a couple of weeks after and I never really came back” she continued “I left Waverly all alone because I just couldn’t get over myself and be there for my baby sister”.  
“Wynonna, you were a child yourself and you were traumatized” Nicole said.  
“And so was she!” Wynonna yelled “I left my eight year old sister to be taken care off by an aunt she didn’t know right after having her dad and her older sister killed right in front of her eyes” the yelling turned into a sad and gruesome laughter “when I ran away she would call me every single day asking when I was coming back and I kept lying to her, saying it would be soon but it never happened, I never got back”.  
“Okay” the redhead said, deciding her friend didn’t need comforting at that moment, instead she simply needed someone to listen.  
“She kept calling until one day she stopped and we became strangers” the brunette breathed deeply “I knew she hated me for leaving and for lying and she hated me even more when I moved back to Purgatory to chase the criminals that raided our house” she continued “she didn’t need me to avenge our family, she had never needed me to do anything other than be there, and I couldn’t even do that one simple thing”. Wynonna sighed. “I was a terrible sister and a shitty person all around to her and for once in our lives I want to make all the necessary effort because I want my sister back” she stopped “I need my sister back”.  
“And you think you’ll get that by trying to micromanage every single aspect of her life?” Nicole asked. “Her dating life, her friends and even her job?”  
“Whaaat?” Wynonna stammered.  
“I know you talked to Chrissy and the girls and I know you practically shoved Waverly’s resume down the Dean’s throat to get her an interview” the redhead said  
“Oh, you know about that?” She blushed.  
“And do I need to mention how you literally threatened everyone at the precinct and bullied half the town in order to, and I quote, protect her heart?” The redhead asked. “That’s not caring”.  
“That’s manipulating, I know, Waves said the exact same thing last Friday while she was making sure I understood how much of a self-absorbed asshole I was being to the both of you” Wynonna sighed “I know all of that and I’ll try to adjust my behavior, I guess I’ll have to trust that I can make her stay for me because at the end of the day that’s all I can do”. 

Nicole looked at her friend. For the first time ever she truly understood Wynonna Earp. The woman was indisputably a mess. She opened up too little, drank too much, screw up too often and never stopped to consider the consequences of it all. Nicole had always thought that Wynonna’s inconsequential behavior had roots in her childhood trauma, but she had never imagined the extent of it. The woman didn’t push people away only to protect herself. What the redhead had learned with that conversation was that, Wynonna was, in fact, terrified that she would eventually hurt the people she loved. In her mind, in her own deranged way, hurting people was inevitable, it was all she ever did, it was all she had ever done. She had killed her father and older sister, and had abandoned her baby sister before she had even turned into a teen. It made sense that Wynonna would push people away in order to diminish the inescapable pain and suffering that came with being around her.

The redhead thought back to when she used to do the exact same thing. Nicole would skip classes and hang out in the park every other day until late at night. She would either just walk around with no purpose whatsoever or she’d find her way into an underground fight. Then she’s stumble home, too exhausted to face her brother. At first Nathan hadn’t said anything. On the many books he had read on teenage trauma and ptsd he had learned that the best action was to give people their space, to heal at their own time. He would patiently clean her bruises and make sure her bed was always made for when she got home. Nathan felt like he should let her be, but then the teenage drinking started and everything went downhill from there. The young adult then would pick Nicole up from school everyday, and work out with her until she couldn’t think about anything. He taught her how to channel the anger and the pain and how to never let it take her down. 

Nicole sympathized with Wynonna then. They both had dark pasts and things that haunted them. But the redhead had never really been alone, she had always had Nathan to make sure she didn’t slipped too far down the rabbit hole. He was her light. Meanwhile, Wynonna had isolated herself and shielded her heart with snarky comments and sarcasm. But Nicole realized something her best friend might have never considered. Despite the inconsequential environment that had set around her, Wynonna had never done anything spectacularly messed up. The brunette wasn’t alone, regardless of how strongly she thought she was, she had always had Waverly to guide her. A little voice inside her heart that had prevented her from giving in to her pain and guilt. Waverly was her light, she was her moral compass and her lighthouse. Seeing how righteous Waverly was, it made sense to assume that her sister had always been terrified of letting her down, even when she wasn’t around to see it.

“I know you slept with Waverly” the brunette stated simply, pulling her friend out of her thoughts.   
“What?” Nicole asked shocked.   
“I told you Nicole, I’d have to be a terrible detective not to know” Wynonna shook her head.  
“Uhm...” the redhead mumbled “how?”  
“Whenever you look at Waves you have that thing you do” she begun “you look at her with those ‘I have seen you naked before’ eyes” she remarked “plus, I know that there was no way that kiss at the reunion had been your first”.   
“Look, I’m sorry” Nicole begun spitting her words “I didn’t know she was your sister when it happened, it was an accident and it di..”   
“Please stop” Wynonna interrupted her “I really don’t wanna know” she said “I’m not entitled to meddling with either of your lives and to tell you who you should and who you shouldn’t date” she continued “I don’t wanna know if she was a one night stand, if you guys are just having fun or whatever. I have no right to demand this information”.   
“I don’t get it” Nicole hesitated “you don’t want to know?”  
“Well, of course I don’t want to know how you did the dirt with my baby sister” Wynonna stated “but I also don’t want to push anything, you don’t have to tell me anything, not until you guys decide there’s something worth telling” she shrugged “but I have to ask you something”.   
“Ask away” the redhead signaled for her to continue.   
“Please, do not hurt my sister” the brunette pleaded.   
“I would never” Nicole said firmly.   
“Good” Wynonna nodded happily “I think you guys can be good for one another but if you hurt her I will take her side”.   
“Okay” the redhead agreed.   
“Purgatory has taken too much from her already, the last thing I want is for her to continue suffering in this town” Wynonna said “and I’d hate to have to pick between my best friend and my baby sister, it’s too much of a Sophie’s choice” she said, earning an eye roll from her friend “Xavier was watching the movie last night”. 

Nicole shook her head and smiled shyly. The woman had clearly dropped that last sentence on purpose, knowing that it would inevitably ease a bit of the tension in the room. Casual comedy was one of Wynonna’s most significant personality traits and it was something the redhead loved dearly. That time around, however, comedy didn’t work as a shield, instead, it had worked as the exact opposite. Wynonna’s joke had allowed everything to sink in with ease, reducing the tension had allowed them to actually embrace all that had been said. Wynonna gathered her belongings and started making her way out of the dojo, not bothering to look back at her friend who sat at the rubber mat. The redhead watched her go without saying anything. 

Nicole let her body fall back to the floor and begun looking at the ceiling once more. At that point she should’ve gotten used to the unpredictableness of her days, but the more she told herself that, the more life managed to surprise her. The redhead could’ve never imagined that their anger driven sparring would turn into an honest heartfelt confession. In fact, never in a million years Nicole would have thought possible for Wynonna to sit and actually talk about her feelings, her guilt and all the things that had made her into who she was. But it had happened and it had meant the world for her. Nicole had felt her best friend’s vulnerability and she had willingly embraced yet another version of the woman. 

But out of everything that had happened unexpectedly on a Monday morning, having her fresh relationship with Waverly being openly discussed was at the top of the list. Wynonna had made a fair point when she pointed out how unlikely it was for her to not know about it. Nevertheless it was still a shock to learn that she hadn’t been as subtle as she had imagined. The redhead was partially thankful for being out of the woods, but if she was being completely honest, it scared her way more than it relieved her. Nicole was falling in love with Waverly faster than she could wrap her head around, that much was undeniable. But having one of the most important people in her life knowing about it made it all too real. All too scary. 

-/-

“I’m so glad you agreed to come back tonight” the detective smiled “I had a really weird day today”.   
“I’m glad you called” Waverly smiled “part of me believed you’d ghost me”.   
“And why would I do that?” Nicole asked curiously.   
“I don’t know” the historian said “but I’m glad you did” she continued “if I’m being honest, I really missed you today”.   
“I missed you too” the redhead blushed.   
“Tell me, why was your day weird?” Waverly asked, changing the subject.   
“I will, but after we eat?” Nicole said.   
“I knew you only wanted me for my food!” The historian laughed loudly.   
“Damn, you got me!”

Both woman laughed as they drove through the streets of Purgatory. Nicole had called her while at the dojo, still recovering from her eventful morning, and invited her to stay yet another night. The excuse was that she didn’t want to spend the night alone after everything and that she needed the historian. But in reality, Nicole knew very well that she just needed to feel Waverly soft snoring as they laid in bed wrapped around each other. The detective didn’t need to try it to know that her bed would feel very lonely without her in it. The redhead had been a bit hesitant to call, her recent conversation with Wynonna had made her slightly uncertain of things, and the last thing she wanted was to seem too pushy, too needy, too much. But the detective took a leap of faith and mechanically typed the numbers she knew by heart. Nicole had stopped by the university for the second time that day and picked up a visibly tired Waverly before driving home. The detective enlaced the fingers of her free hand with the historian’s and the whole world melted with that simple touch. 

They arrived at the detective’s house a little later than anticipated. The traffic on the way was terrible. Earlier that afternoon the Revenants had hijacked a military convoy of all its content before setting it on fire. Wynonna and Nicole had been the first to arrive and the sight was terrible. The crime had been sloppy and clearly rushed, they had taken all the high end technology but had left behind most of the simple weaponry. The choice in target still puzzled the detective as she drove past the place for the second time that day. But while she drove home with Waverly, it didn’t matter what Bobo had planned for the precious cargo he had stolen. On the contrary, Nicole parked her car in her driveway and made her way inside the house without even considering it. But her peace of mind was quickly disturbed. 

“Hello” the male voice said in a dark tone “just do what I say and no one needs to get hurt” he continued “the detective knows what I want and as long as you abide, we shouldn’t have any problems”.


	19. Family Portrait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this took a while. I apologize for that, but I hope this chapter makes up for the long wait, that is, if any of you are still hanging around to read it.  
> This chapter is important because it opens the door for a very important development in the story and you'll see that moving forwards.  
> Cannot wait to hear your thoughts, opinions, critics and hopes for the future.
> 
> As per usual, my Beta is amazing and she deserves all the kudos ever.

Nicole slowly pushed her foot against the break, making the car smoothly stop in her driveway. She noticed that the snow piled up in there had been diminishing consistently for the past week, a clear indication that winter was behind them and that brighter days were on the horizon. The detective rested her head against the steering wheel. Taking the first few seconds of her very long day to take a relaxing breath. She saw that her uniform’s sleeve was soot stained and a bit burned from the incident earlier that day. The most recent Revenant attack had weirded Nicole out more than she cared to admit. It was too close to home, it was too sloppy for Bobo’s high criminal standards and something didn’t feel quite right about it. The oddness and the violence of that crime lingered in the detective’s bones and the damaged uniform was just another reminder of her terrible day.

The redhead felt a hand in the nape of her neck. The touch, nice and warm brought peace to her tired body. Nicole smiled as Waverly begun massaging the tense muscles there, working her fingers in a paced circular motion. The contact made the detective feel all hot and tingly inside and the already familiar touch calmed and comforted the redhead. The historian smiled at her and Nicole wanted to live in that moment forever. The detective knew she had never felt that way before, especially not that quickly. She had learned to avoid letting other people become the centre of her universe and not to give them power over her feelings. But then she drunkenly stumbled upon Waverly. A petite brunette recently transferred from London with her quirks, her ways, her radiant happiness and her unwavering commitment to what she wanted. Nicole found Waverly and everything begun to change.

The detective took the brunette’s hands in hers and brought them to her lips. She took their intertwined fingers and kissed each one of them longly before moving to unlock the car. Nicole smiled as the historian didn’t hang back, somewhat reluctant to be back at the house so soon. But instead, she jumped excitedly out of the car and immediately made her way back to the detective’s embrace. Together they walked the short path from the driveway to the redhead’s front door. Waverly rested her chin on the detective’s should as the taller woman fumbled to find her keys inside her pocket. As Nicole put her keys inside the lock she noticed that something was off. The door was already opened. The redhead tried to remain calm as she pushed the door opened while casually reaching for her gun strapped on her belt. Waverly’s chin rested peacefully on her shoulders and the detective did not wish to disturb her at all.

“Hello” a male voice echoed from inside the house carrying an icing dark tone “just do what I say and no one needs to get hurt “he continued “the detective knows what I want and as long as you abide, we shouldn’t have any problems” a small laughter escaped his lips.

What followed that sentence happened way too fast for Nicole to intervene. Waverly quickly went from adorably sleepy to highly skilled. The petite brunette jumped in front of the detective. With one strong hold the historian kept Nicole firmly behind her. The serious expression on her face made it clear that she was ready to kill a man should that be necessary. Waverly’s hand on the detective’s hips was firm yet smooth, almost as if she tried to make sure the woman, the long term law reinforcer, was not too frightened by the intruder. Nicole noticed the brunette slowly reaching for her gun, clearly careful not to make any sudden movement. The redhead felt the warmth inside her heart growing exponentially at the sight. The laughter echoing from the other side of the room pulled her back to reality and the detective quickly walked towards the man.

“You idiot!” Nicole yelled “You scared me!”  
“C’mon now, don’t be dramatic” the man laughed “thought you’d appreciate the surprise”. He opened his arms wide for the woman.  
“I do. But when you live in Purgatory, a little heads up is always appreciated” the detective pointed out.  
“Well I thought the whole point of me having a key was to come and go as I please, no?” He asked.  
“Lots of people have the key to my house, you really aren’t that special “Nicole teased.  
“Rude!” The man lightly punched the woman’s shoulder. “But you’re right”.  
“Wait, what? The detective asked, shocked.  
“I should’ve warned you I was coming over” he began “it looks as though you already have some company” he said casually pointing towards the petite woman uncomfortably standing on the other side of the room.  
“Oh my god!” Nicole yelled. The detective hurriedly walked back to towards the brunette, pulling the man by his arm. “I’m so sorry! This is...”  
“Hello, I’m Haught. Nathan Haught” He said “I am Nicky’s older brother” he smiled “it’s a pleasure to meet you”.  
“That explains the resemblance” The historian said “it’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Haught”.  
“Ugh, Nate, please” he asked “I’m going on a wild guess here, but I take it that you must be miss Waverly Earp”.  
“That would be me” the brunette nodded.  
“I’ve heard a great deal about you Miss Earp” Nathan said.  
“I hope good things” the historian blushed.  
“Was there anything bad I should have heard?” He asked.  
“Okay” Nicole intervened “that’s enough” she pleaded “why don’t I put our things away in my room and we can go out to have some dinner?”  
“I was making pizza before you girls arrived, does that sound like a good plan?” Nathan asked, smiling happily at the positive response.  
“Good! Now why don’t you go take a shower and get into blood stained free clothes?” He suggested “Waverly can help me out with dinner, right?”  
“Absolutely!” The historian said happily.  
“Do you promise to behave?” Nicole asked uncertain.  
“I’m appalled by the implication that I don’t always!” He said in a fake offended tone.  
“I hate you” the detective rolled her eyes and started walking away from the kitchen.  
“I love you” Nathan yelled.

Nicole laughed. It wasn’t really a surprise to see the man in there supposedly out of nowhere. He was Nathan after all. The very same person who moved across the country for her without a second thought. The man in her kitchen was a dork, quick witted, funny, loving and protective brother amongst the many many other things he was. But more than anything, he was, indisputably, the most caring brother in the world. It wasn’t a stretch to imagine that, knowing the detective like he did, he’d jump on the first plane to Purgatory to take care of a broken hearted Nicole. In fact, the redhead expected to see him standing in the middle of her living room after she drunkenly called him, crying, after the reunion. So it was a good thing to have him there with her. It eased the air around her.

The redhead picked up a few pieces of clean clothes from her closet and got into the shower. Allowing the hot water to wash away every bad feeling that had stuck throughout the day. As she did so, the detective begun recollecting everything that had happened, from waking up with Waverly wrapped around her, to the intense conversation with Wynonna to the roughness of the crime scene. As per usual, so much had happened and she hadn’t had time to fully process anything. Automatically going through the motions. Having her day end with a surprise visit of her brother was the calm she needed to quiet the storm for a little while. When she was done with her shower, Nicole already felt the muscles on her shoulder way more relaxed than they had been in a while.

Nicole stopped at the second room, Nathan’s room, and carefully picked up clean sheets and the least fluffy pillow she had. Nathan didn’t care much for bedding, in fact he’d be pleased to sleep on the couch. The military had trained him to adapt to simple things and that had only added to his already practical view of the world. He believed that, on the grand schemes of things, whether or not his pillow was made of geese feathers didn’t matter at all. But the detective would be damned if her only family wasn’t going to have comfort while in her house. In fact, the sole reason why she had a two bedroom house in the first place was for occasions such as those. Whenever Nathan would stop by Purgatory, she’d make sure he had a comfortable place to sleep, nice food and a peaceful environment to let go of all his worries.

As she made his bed, Nicole noticed his bag in the corner of the room. Sadly enough, the bag was small, indicating that he didn’t plan on staying for more than a couple of days or so. The detective made a note to call Nedley and request a few personal days to spend with her brother. She figured the captain wouldn’t oppose to that. Nicole picked the bag up and started putting his things away in the dresser. She put his clothes in the second drawer, the hygiene products in the first one and his badge and gun in the safe under the bed. The redhead was about done with his bag when an envelope fell onto the floor. An envelope addressed to her. From one Nicholas Haught. Against her better judgment the detective opened it and read the letter inside, taking her time to look at the three pictures and to absorb everything in it. Her mood changing drastically as she did. Nicole had thought that Nathan had travelled all the way to Purgatory for her but he had seemingly done it for another sibling instead.

The detective put the pictures and the letter back inside the envelope and angrily finished fixing his room. It was somewhat irrational, but even after years, she couldn’t control her feelings when it came to her family. With her letter in hand, Nicole made her way back to the kitchen, decided to confront her brother about it, to demand all the reasons why he had thought it was a good idea to bring that letter with him. The redhead closed the bedroom door and started making her way to the kitchen when she heard Waverly’s voice, the only one capable of calming her at that moment. The historian laughed from where she was and, despite her anger, Nicole smiled at the sound. As the wholehearted laughter continued, the detective decided to postpone her confrontation with her brother. That’s when she heard his voice.

“And that, Miss Earp, is how you make pizza Italian style” he said.  
“Not that I don’t believe you, but I strongly believe they don’t let the dough fall while twirling it” She laughed.  
“It’s vitamin D, don’t worry about it” Nathan said.  
“Vitamin D as in the one catalyzed by the sun?” She asked uncertain.  
“Nah” Nathan dismissed her “as in vitamin Dirt” he laughed “don’t worry it was the five second rule, it’s cool, no one is dying tonight. Just maybe don’t tell my sister”.  
“Don’t be mean to her, she’s nice” Waverly protested, causing the detective to smile from where she stood.  
“She is, isn’t she?” The Marshall said proudly. “Despite everything, she turned out great and I’m proud of her for it”.  
“Your parents did a good job” the historian pointed out.  
“Yeah... let’s just say they didn’t have much to do with that” Nathan said.

Nicole swallowed hard. An unexpected lump stuck in her throat at the historian’s words. She had no way of knowing the truth, not without the detective directly addressing it, but it still hurt. Nothing would ever ease the discomfort in her stomach when family, specifically her parents, would be the theme of a conversation. Nicole sighed frustrated. In a span of thirty minutes she had accidentally heard and seen more about the Haughts than she had in a long time. She put the letter inside her back pocket and started walking towards the pair. Nathan, however, broke the silence in the room before she could make herself noticed.

“My sister was always amazing” he said “since she was a baby” he smiled “out of the four of us, she was the quickest one to start walking, talking and even reading” he continued “as she grew up she added an amazing heart and an unbreakable soul to that. I wasn’t being trivial about it”.  
“Oh, I know” Waverly argued “neither was I”.  
“Good” he nodded. “When I was about eighteen we moved across the country and she became my best friend and my moral compass of sorts” he continued “there’s virtually nothing that I wouldn’t do for my sister”.  
“You moved for work?” The historian asked.  
“Something like that” Nathan said.  
“You’re CIA, right?” Waverly asked. “Or is it FBI?”  
“US Marshal actually” the man corrected “but no biggie, the scope of our work is different but we all have the same training”.  
“How so?” The brunette asked curious.  
“Well, as Marshals we work to guarantee that justice is made” he began “we need short and long range gun training, fighting and questioning skills and” he continued “since we also do the occasional investigating we also need to learn harsh interrogation techniques, which we do alongside the infamous CIA trainees” he said “but then again, you’re my baby sister’s, my only sister’s, girl, there’s no need for you to know that throughout my military training I’ve learned to properly disappear with a body”.  
“As someone who’s worried with your sister’s safety and well-being” Waverly responded without stuttering “I think those are very important skills”.  
“I’m glad we’re on the same page about this” Nathan nodded “I like you Miss Earp”.  
“I believe pizza was promised to me” Nicole spoke from across the room, finally interrupting the conversation.  
“And you shall have it sis” the man said “Waverly and I were sharing some personal fun facts while we waited for you” he winked “now shall we finish the prepping together?”  
“Yup”.

Nicole looked at the two of them and smiled brightly. Even though she had walked in on Nathan casually and smoothly playing the protective older brother, the mood was light. The detective’s heart warmed up knowing that they had gotten along so well, so fast. She obviously knew that her brother loved her and, although jokingly stated, wouldn’t think twice about doing whatever it took to protect her. But it felt really good to know he wasn’t the only one. Waverly had told her time and time again, but it was different hearing her say that to someone else. Nicole’s heart grew twice its side at the thought that, right there, were two of the people she loved the most in the world. Unexpectedly, admitting that to herself wasn’t scary at all, instead, it felt simply right.

The sound of her fridge’s door being slammed pulled the detective’s attention back to the kitchen. Nathan picked up a large block of mozzarella and begun chopping it while Waverly finished working on the dough before putting it inside the oven. Although the pair had apparently worked in harmony, the room was a mess. There was flour spread everywhere, from the countertops to the walls. Knives, spoons and pans were piled up in the sink in a seemingly Jenga style. In a forgotten corner of the kitchen was a huge bag with multiple still untouched topping options. Nicole picked it up alongside a good knife and a cutting board and begun prepping the ingredients. By the time the three were done with their respective chores they had enough pizza to feed the entire Scooby gang and a few others. Waverly set the oven timer for fifteen minutes and Nathan excused himself to change into non floury clothes.

“So...” the historian began “your brother is fun”.  
“He’s annoying, that’s what he is” Nicole rolled her eyes. She wrapped her arms around the brunette, welcoming the feeling of her body against hers.  
“Don’t lie” Waverly laughed “you’ve been glowing since you saw him”.  
“He’s... alright I supposed” the detective joked “so I take it that he wasn’t too mean to you while I was away?”  
“Nathan was nice, very polite and incredibly charming” she smiled.  
“Ughhhh” the redhead huffed ironically “wanna get a room?”  
“No need to be jealous babe” Waverly winked “he’s not really my type” she said “plus I’m pretty sure he casually threatened to kill me and disappear with my body and that’s not very appealing” she shrugged.  
“So he was mean!” Nicole said.  
“Like you weren’t listening to the entire conversation” the historian pushed “please.”  
“I thought I was being smooth, but I guess not” the redhead shook her head.  
“It’s fine, you didn’t suddenly lost your groove” Waverly said “I guess I’m able to sense your presence” she closed her eyes embarrassedly “oh God, I’m too corny”.  
“Yes” the detective joked “but you’re also incredibly amazing”.  
“You like me” the brunette giggled.

Nicole threw her head back laughing. Amused and amazed by their teenage like happiness. Effortlessly, she turned Waverly around in order to look at her properly. On the brunette’s features the detective saw a mirror of hers. The historian smiled so brightly that she had wrinkles on the outer edge of her barely opened eyes. And she glowed with something so pure and honest, something that transcended their untouched bubble of happiness. Nicole kissed the top of her head, then the tip of her nose before pecking the historian’s lips. With her arms tightly wrapped around the woman’s body, the detective picked her up and spun her around the room. Both woman laughing even harder as her knees gave in and they fell onto the floor. Waverly rested her head on the cool hardwood floor and Nicole let her body settle on top of hers. The detective thought that “liking” the brunette was an offensive understatement. 

The redhead kissed the woman under her. Her breathing picking up with every passing second that their lips touched. Unhurriedly Nicole kept kissing her. The detective laid soft, slow kisses on Waverly’s lipstick colored lips, stopping every now and then to look at her. To admire her. The historian unhurried caresses on the woman’s back inevitably changed as intensity rose. Nicole knew she should pull back but her body caved in more and more as the brunette’s light touch developed into wanting fingers that travelled inside her shirt and begun digging into the skin of her bare back. Waverly knew she should get a grip of her desire but she was having a hard time remembering why as the redhead’s body adjusted to hers, delightfully pinning her down and skillfully touching her everywhere. A light muffled moan escaped the historian’s lips and the redhead felt her arms weakening. The sound resonated with every cell of her body catalyzing Nicole’s never ending need for the other woman. Most definitely, liking was not nearly enough to define what Nicole felt for Waverly.

The kitchen buzzer went off and both women knew they should stop right there otherwise they wouldn’t be able to. The detective took a deep breath and lazily pulled the brunette’s hands out of her shirt. Waverly cupped her face and Nicole kissed the palm of both of her hands. Her lips already tingling from the absence of the historian’s. Reluctantly, the redhead got up, lacing her fingers with the historian’s she helped the other woman up. Nicole saw Nathan casually approaching the kitchen, a grin on his face as he did. He silently teased his little sister knowingly but she didn’t mind it one bit. It wasn’t as though she was being discreet. On the contrary. Her swollen lips, tangled hair and her uneven flour stained shirt gave out what had happened during his absence. The man winked at both women as he passed by them carrying two fresh out of the oven pizzas and placing them on the table and they blushed heavily as they joined him.

Dinner lasted for a while. Not only because there was way more food than they could handle and they had to take long breaks before devouring yet another pizza. Nor was it because Nathan insisted on telling embarrassing tales about his baby sister that unequivocally led Nicole to jump across the table more than a handful of time. It didn’t last till late at night because the detective struggled to keep herself in check every time Waverly looked at her, or because Nathan had to bite his tongue every other second not to tease his sister too much. Pizza night nearly became pizza dawn because the three of them shared the blissful feeling of being surrounded by loved ones. Because they all embraced their newly established family and let it embrace them back. And so they heated up another pizza, and another and another even though they were way passed satisfied, just to have dinner last a little longer. And Nathan told tales of the Haught siblings’ childhood as a way to include Waverly on their cherished memories. Nicole held back from pulling the historian into her bedroom because she knew she didn’t have to run against the clock with her. And the Marshall didn’t mock the couple because their happiness made him happy. And the mockery could be postponed for the many future family events they would have.

Nevertheless as the pizzas became nothing more than dirty dishes added to the already unorganized pile on the sink and the fond memories approached the detective’s early teenage years, Nicole begun feeling a weighing in her chest that she couldn’t avoid. The letter on her back pocket was burning her skin, daring her to ignore it any further and Nicholas words kept replaying inside her head.

_“Nicole,_

_I am sorry._

_I’m writing that as the very first sentence of this because I know it’s the only way you’ll read it. Or maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll rip this page and these photographs as soon as you read my name and I’ll understand if you do. You don’t owe me anything and you don’t have to do anything for me just because I’m your family. You don’t ever need to read this letter or to reply to it or to forgive me. But I will never stop trying to be deserving of it. You hate me and that’s alright. I wish you didn’t though. Not because I want you to pick up the phone when I call or answer my emails or respond to any of the many attempts I did to contact you through the years. Not that I don’t. I wish you didn’t hate me because I don’t want to be an impediment, hate holds people back and you deserve a full and happy life._

_It’s ironic to think now how alike we were as kids. Mom even used to joke that if we were someone else’s kids she’d never believe we weren’t twins. I’m glad the resemblance stopped on the way we looked alike. You’re much stronger and more resilient than I’ve ever been. In fact, if I had one tenth of your will and determination I wouldn’t have broken after what dad did to me, I would have endured like you did. I would have been brave enough to stand up for the both of us at home, at school, at church. But I was scared then, I was terrified that if he could do all those things to you, his favorite child, I couldn’t bare imagining what he could do to me if I crossed him again. And so I never did. And you got hurt because of it and so did I. Thankfully Nathan didn’t have to double think anything before making his decision. In case you’re wondering Noah moved out as soon as he turned eighteen and never looked back. I was the only one who stayed behind to take care of our parents as they grew old._

_Nicole I’m truly sorry. I know you trusted me and I betrayed your trust. But it gives me some peace of mind to know that you’ve grown up to be such an outstanding woman because of it. It fills my heart to see that you made it. I’ve been keeping up with your accomplishments through the years and they’re no short of impressive. I’m glad to see that you’ve managed to make it through this whole thing and came out stronger because of it. You’re smart, kind, compassionate, talented, sweet and incredibly good at your job. And you’re strong. God in all His glory blessed you with a lot of strength to make it because I know the hate, the name calling and the violence didn’t end the moment Nate took you away from our little town. But He knows what He’s doing and He wouldn’t have given you a challenge you couldn’t face.”_

Nicole felt it again. The hurt. She expected it to come as soon as she read her brother’s name signed on the letter and she still read it anyway. The pain had turned into anger and the redhead felt herself taking a thousand steps backwards on her recovery. Nicole tried looking at the other two people in her kitchen in hopes that they would bring peace back to her heart but unsurprisingly found none. That was ironically a very honest representation of her life and it was frustrating, to say the least. It killed her again and again to know that for every two steps forwards she took by pure will she felt herself taking three backwards every time the Haughts made an unwanted appearance. And she hated them for it.

Annoyed and angry, Nicole sighed. A simple letter, written on a yellow pad, and three photos had been enough to end her bliss, to burst her bubble of happiness. The detective wanted to scream, cry and punch the wall to end the burning feeling in her gut. Nicole hated the fact that she was in a giddy mood, joking around with the woman she was falling for and her favorite person in the world and then Nicholas’ six paragraphs letter had been enough to destroy it. And just like that it was over. The happiness was replaced by an empty feeling in her chest. The taste of their amazing dinner had given place to a nauseating feeling in her stomach. Her smile changed into a disgruntled frown. And the detective’s bright hopes for the future had dissolved into nothing. As Nicole remembered her brother’s attempt at an apology, she was overcome with a desperation to run and hide, to drink herself into oblivion, to sleep and never wake up again, to have her world crumble on top of her.

Waverly enlaced their fingers together pulling Nicole’s attention out of the turmoil inside of her. The historian looked at her worriedly and the redhead did her best to offer her a sincere smile to ease her worries. To no avail. Like an expectator of her own life, the detective watched as Waverly and Nathan exchanged worried looks, both having a silent conversation to which she hadn’t been invited. After a few seconds the man nodded and Waverly placed a long kiss on top of Nicole’s head before excusing herself to let the siblings catch up. Silence took over the room for a few moments until Nathan spoke.

“You saw the letter.” He stated factually. “I received it a couple of months ago and wasn’t sure whether or not to give it to you” he continued “but it had been on my bag ever since, just in case I made a decision”.  
“Did you read it?” Nicole asked.  
“It wasn’t my place to read it” he said “but I’m fairly certain I know what’s in it”.  
“Do tell me then, let me hear what you think was so important that it was worth putting me back in hell” the detective barked.  
“Nicky...” Nathan begun “he’s going through recovery right now, he’s making amends and he truly regrets everything that happened” he said “you have to understand...”  
“I don’t have to understand anything Nate” the detective said, barely keeping her anger contained “I trusted him and he betrayed me in the worst way possible” she continued “he’s being cruel by asking me to listen and by playing his same old guilt tripping, so no, I don’t have to understand him at all”.  
“Okay” the Marshal said. He walked towards his sister and tried to hug her.  
“Don’t” Nicole sighed and pushed him away “Nicholas is being cruel but you’re being crueler because he doesn’t know me, he doesn’t know all the shit I had to go through to get here, but you do!”  
“You’re being unfair to me Nicky, I’ve always had your best interest in mind” Nathan’s calm demeanor faltered “if I thought you should read what our brother had to say it’s because I thought it would be good for you” he cautioned “it’s exactly because I know all about your nightmares, your trust issue, your drinking and self-medicating” he went on “that’s why I considered giving you the letter”.  
“They broke me when I was barely a teenager!” Nicole snapped. “They broke me and it had its consequences” she continued “Dad, Nicholas, Noah, mom, they turned me into a bunch of nothing, a pitiful resemblance of a person, someone living in perpetual fear of standing up for herself and of believing in others” she yelled “so no, listening to what any of them have to say does not help me deal with the consequences of what they did”.  
“That’s not what I meant and you know it” he struggled to regain his composure “you need closure Nicole, you need to move past them so you can move on with your life” Nathan said. “You’re such an amazing person and I’m so proud of you for making it through the other side, I just can’t watch as you let happiness pass by you time and time again because of the ghosts of them”.  
“They have a kid” the detective said “did you know it?”  
“Sis...” the man shook his head defeated.  
“I trusted them, Nate” Nicole wiped the tear that escaped her eye “I trusted them and they named their kid Philip!” She stated sadly. “Did you know it?”  
“I didn’t know they had named the boy after dad” he confessed.  
“But you knew about Sara” the detective said hurt. Her brother nodded and that was all it took for her to start walking away towards her front door.  
“Nicole, c’mon, don’t do this, don’t leave me talking to the wall” Nathan begged “what did you expect me to do Nicole? Did you want me to call you saying your estranged brother married and had a baby with your ex-girlfriend? The same ex-girlfriend that fucking abandoned you when you needed her the most? When you were nearly dead on your own bedroom floor?” He yelled from where he stood.  
“I don’t know Nate, I don’t know” she said before walking out the door.

Nicole felt the night wind hitting her face. The unexpected cold air sent shiver down her spine and she regretted her sudden anger induced decision to walk out of her house. Specially without grabbing a coat. The last thing she wanted was to catch a cold or worse because of Nicholas and Sara. But there was no way she would go back to the house, to Nathan, not yet at least. Nicole knew she had no reason for being mad at him, he hadn’t given her the letter, he hadn’t told her information that she didn’t want nor needed to know and he, as always, had placed her safety and well-being before anything and anyone else. But it still hurt. And so there she was, like a teenager, sitting on her doorstep with no plan other than postponing having to face her problems. Even if it meant having to call in sick for a couple of days.

The detective sighed. The weight on her back pocket was getting heavier by the second. She didn’t want to read it again or even think about it, but the damage was done. Nicole remembered every word written in the letter. Every sentence in which Nicholas pretended to care, pretended to be sorry for what he had done. He might’ve turned into a new and better person, as he had said on his letter, but he was very much the same manipulative little boy she remembered. For every apology he wrote, there was a guilt trip or a mental torture of sorts. Nicholas knew very well which cards to play to mess with her. He knew that bringing up his drinking problem, his own daddy issues, his unhappy marriage and overall insignificant life would strike a chord within his sister. Nicole had always been the kind of person who was hypersensitive to other people’s emotions and problems, even to the point of neglecting her own boundaries, comfort and personal issues. Nicholas knew her abuse had only heightened it.

Nicole huffed angrily. Despite her better judgment and knowing that it would only make her angrier, the detective picked up the envelope and looked at the three photos. The first one had Nicholas smiling proudly as he held his sobriety badge. His curly red hair was longer than the last time she had seen him. The curls were combed in an apparent careless way, like he was too cool to bother with combing his hair. His face was thin and her bright blue eyes immediately caught her attention. He looked tired, worn out, as if life had taken its toll on him, but his smile as he held his gold chip was genuine. This was the only one that brought something resembling happiness to her heart. The other two, despite how joyful they seemed to make Nicholas, caused only pain to the detective.

The redhead’s attention was pulled back from the envelope in her hand when a most welcome coat was gently placed on her shoulders. She looked up to see Waverly. The historian smiled warmly at her and extended her hand so she could get the detective back on her feet. Nicole let the brunette hold her close while she struggled to keep her tears from falling. She let Waverly take the letter out of her hand and help her into the coat. The detective let the other woman slowly drag her towards her parked car. Nicole didn’t find it in her to protest anything, she was too hollow to care about anything and anyone else in that moment. She knew right there that Nathan was right to want to push her to talk about it, but she didn’t think she was ready to talk to Waverly about everything that had happened to her as a child. Nicole was terrified to let her see that part of her and have the brunette respond like everyone else did. With a silent pity.

“I heard you and your brother talking” Waverly said.  
“I don’t think there was much talking there” the redhead sighed.  
“True...” the historian confessed.  
“But you’re too kind to say you heard me and my brother shouting at each other” Nicole smiled sadly.  
“Also true” Waverly blushed “but I also didn’t want to interrupt, it seemed like you had a lot you needed to get off your chest”.  
“You sound like Nate” the detective let her forehead rest against the steering wheel.  
“I’m sorry” the historian said.  
“How much did you hear?” Nicole asked.  
“Enough to worry” the brunette said. Her tone showed exactly what she felt.  
“You don’t need to worry about me baby” the redhead lied.  
“I grew up with an alcoholic father and, from a distance, I saw Wynonna turn into one as well” Waverly started “so please don’t lie to me”.  
“I’m not an alcoholic” the detective stated.  
“That’s not what I heard” the brunette stood her ground.  
“Look” Nicole looked at the woman “I’m not gonna lie, I don’t have the healthiest coping mechanism but I’m not an alcoholic, nor do I have a self-medicating problem” she said “I do have my problems and I’m working on them daily, but Nathan has seen me at my worse and he’s terrified of that ever happening again”.  
“Does he have a reason to?” Waverly pushed.  
“I can’t say he does” the detective said “but I can’t say he doesn’t” she laughed.  
“That’s comforting” the historian laughed along.  
“I haven’t had the easiest path growing up, and I guess you can presume by now that my family wasn’t very good” Nicole confessed “and I guess I haven’t dealt with that one hundred percent even with professional help throughout the years” she continued “so every now and then I have step backs and he worries”.  
“You know you can talk to me right?” Waverly asked.  
“I don’t want to see you walking on eggshells around me or looking at me with pity in your eyes” she said “I couldn’t bare it”.  
“Baby, no” the historian said, taking the woman’s hands on hers “I’m here for you, I’m in this for all of you Nicky” she continued “and I’m certain that whatever happened to you only proves how amazing you are”.  
“Please don’t” the redhead said, already remembering her brother’s words “not you too saying that they made me stronger”.  
“You’re strong for remaining kind, understanding, respectful, sweet and loving after what happened to you” Waverly smiled.  
“How would you know that?” Nicole tried even though she felt the honesty on the other woman’s words.  
“Violence has never made anyone better, on the contrary, people remain good despite that” the historian said “now, do you want to tell me about it?”

Nicole saw the woman waving the envelope and she knew she wanted to give the brunette a chance to stay true to her words. The detective felt in her guts that she wouldn’t lose her Waverly by telling her everything from the start. Nicole wasn’t afraid to give her everything to the woman. And so with a deep breath, she picked up the envelope and opened it. Taking another look at the photos and quickly skimming the letter, the redhead gave it to the brunette. She watched as Waverly carefully inspected the photographs and the detective didn’t bother hiding her feelings towards them. The historian looked at a young Nicholas in a shining suit smiling brightly as he walked out of a church hand in hand with his Mrs. Haught. She looked at a bit older Sara in a hospital gown that did very little to cover her body holding their newborn with the purest love in her eyes. And she looked at the AA picture before moving to the letter. Nicole felt the tightening in her chest getting heavier as the historian went on even though she showed no emotion whatsoever as she began reading the letter the detective had already memorized.

_“I know you probably don’t waste one single second thinking about your deadbeat brother but, in case you were wondering, I’ve been going to AA everyday now. Last week I got my eleven month sobriety chip. It hasn’t been easy. I was extremely lucky to have my wife with me through this whole thing, through my ups and downs and through everything in between. You know how important it’s to have loved ones with you when you’re going through recovery. Sobering up has helped me see the world through another light. I can safely say that all the decision I made when I was young, and even until eleven months ago, have all been tainted by my addiction. So being sober has put everything in perspective and now I know that if I wasn’t so sick back then I could’ve interfered on your behalf. It helped me understand that, because I was always so drunk and so high and because I never admitted that I had a problem and that I needed help, I failed to be the family that you needed._

_You probably don’t know this but once you left, Sara and I got very close. I guess our fathers wanted to mend the family and we realized that we actually worked together. My wife, she’s amazing, but then again you already know that. She’s funny, smart, kind, understanding and she never failed to walk besides me. This probably doesn’t sound so good for you thought. Your brother married your first girlfriend. I’m sorry about that. I’m certain you’d be a much better partner for her and for everyone else and that you’d never have put her through all I have with my heavy drinking, endless late nights at work, reckless behavior and drug problem. You always were better than me at everything, this would just be one more. But I try every day to make her happy, to make sure that she knows she’s loved, that she’s safe and that I will never let her hurt because of me or because of anyone else in this world. I don’t deserve Sara, that’s true, but if God intertwined our lives and if He thinks I’m the person she’s supposed to be with for the rest of her life, than I like to think I’ve been blessed._

_Six months ago our first child was born, a new light and a new chance for our family. Sara and I named him Phillip after our dad, which probably won’t make you very happy. But we named him that in hopes that he can rewrite our family’s history, for the better. That he grows up to be the person dad was before our family was torn apart that summer afternoon. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. To be able to move forward, mend the wounds and to see our family rekindling. Mom still asks about you and it still breaks her heart to not know how her child is doing. I always tell her you’re doing tremendously well for yourself, a steady job in which you’re really good at, friends that cherish you, a loving partner and the perfect picket fence house. She misses you and so does Sara. But I won’t take too much of your time anymore. I hope you can find it within yourself to forgive and forget and to bring our family together again. I’m certain that if one day you decide to move on from what happened we can be a family again._

_Looking forwards to that day._

_Love,_

_Nicholas Haught”_

“If you want to listen” Nicole blinked heavily trying to stop the tears from falling “I’d like to tell you my story”.  
“No more running away baby” Waverly encouraged.  
“No more running” the detective nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can imagine by now, the next chapter will be Nicole's backstory. I've wrote this story so if one doesn't feel comfortable reading it, they won't miss the gross of her story. Plus, I'll add by the end, on the notes, a small summary of what happened. I'll also try to upload Chapter 20 and 21 very quickly so who don’t read 20 won’t have to wait for too long.  
> I'm saying this because this chapter might be triggering for some but it's important for me to write this (personally) and for the story.  
> So yeah, look forward to uploading Chapter 20. It will be called "The Village", which is a song by Wrabel and you should check him out if you haven't yet.


	20. The Village - Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this took a while... but I didn't give it up and I won't give this story up.  
> Sorry. I had a lot happening to me while I was "away" and i had a really hard time writing this chapter. But in the plus side, when I actually got to it, it turned out to be much bigger than I had initially planned. That's why I had to split it. And that was a good thing because i got to separate the "good" part of Nicole's backstory and the "bad" part of it, which will be on chapter 21.  
> That being said, I cannot wait to see what you guys think of this chapter (that is, if you can still remember how we got here, I mean, it's been a while since this lousy writer posted something).  
> As per usual, a shout out to my amazing beta, who keeps pushing me to write more and to dig deeper.

The redhead took off her helmet and used the rim of her shirt to dry of the sweat drops that were beginning to fall into her eyes. She repositioned it and picked up her bat before walking back towards the plate. She adjusted her stance, making sure to bend her knees and to lay on her back leg. She tightened her grip on the bat and raised her arms. Nicole took in a deep breath. She felt the air filling her lungs and traveling all the way through her body. With every new intake of air, with every inflation and deflation of her lungs the redhead felt her strength renewing. She took another breath. Nicole knew she needed every bit of energy she could muster if she was to hit the perfect ball. 

The teenager looked upfront at the pitcher who in return, looked at her with the worst poker face ever seen in history. Justifiably. The game was tight and both girls were indisputably the best players of their teams. The redhead knew that the pitcher strategy was to throw curved fast pitched balls, and the brunette knew that the batter would try to hit the softball as fast as she could. They had studied each other. And that was why Nicole had two strikes against her already at the very last inning. From halfway across the field, the pitcher hid the softball between her hands. She raised her knee and perfectly threw the ball. There was a moment of complete silence. Nicole could see the softball approaching in slow motion. The curve was much sharper than she had initially prepared for, but after a few uncertain milliseconds, the redhead hit the ball hard. The silence was replaced by the sound of the wooden bat hitting the bright green softball and then, by the euphorical cheers coming from the bleachers. 

Nicole didn’t remember running through the field getting to each base without breaking a sweat. She didn’t remember being held up in glory by her teammates. She didn’t remember the marvelous feeling of being awarded MVP of that year’s championship. All Nicole could remember was the way her softball flew through the air victoriously. The redhead got in line and complimented her opponents for a game well played. The pitcher, a small girl named Dinah, reluctantly congratulated the redhead’s strategy and talent before promising a rematch in the next year. Nicole let her teammates, her friends, hug her one by one. Sara’s hug lasted longer than the other’s and it lingered like no other did. The coach told her a couple of things before sending the redhead away to celebrate with her family. Nicole didn’t need to look to know where to find Nathan. He was standing in his regular spot, with a large bag of popcorn and an even larger cup of coke and arms wide open to embrace his sister. 

“Ladies and gents, make way for the fucking MVP” he yelled as the girl made her way to him.   
“Shhh” Nicole smiled “shut up”.   
“Heavens High” Nathan yelled even louder “give it up for my baby sister, the 2004 MVP!” A handful of people applauded the young redhead as per her brother’s command.   
“Thank you guys” she smiled at her friend’s families “and you suck Nate”.   
“C’mon now peekaboo, can’t a guy be proud of his little sister?” He said excitedly. “You’re a high school junior and already led the school team to our first ever state win and, on top of that, was elected by unanimity the most valuable player of the entire championship!”  
“That’s pretty cool alright” the girl smiled proudly.   
“You’re damn right it is!” He responded in the same manner. “For real now, I’m super proud of you, you did great sis”.   
“Coach said that one of the college scouts she invited liked me very much” Nicole confessed “and she said that if I keep this momentum up I might have more than a handful of college invitations before I’m a senior”.   
“Now you’re just showing off” Nathan pretended to roll his eyes.   
“Maybe a little” the girl said “who knows, maybe I’ll be your roomie at UCLA in three years”.   
“Okay, let’s calm down now” the man said “how about I just take you to the arcade and the dinner?”  
“If I didn’t know why you liked that place so much I’d be annoyed by how often you take me there” Nicole stayed.   
“I’m an eighteen year old man, I like going to the dinner because I’m always hungry and they have great food there” he lied.   
“Sure” the young girl raised an eyebrow provocatively “it’s not because miss Natalie Duncan works there every Thursday and Sunday nights”.   
“Stop it” he blushed “she’s just my friend”.   
“Sure, if that’s how you want to call it” Nicole shrugged.   
“It is” Nate confirmed “and on that note, aren’t you going to talk to Sara?”  
“Why?” The young redhead asked.   
“She hit the batter on her first pitch” he said “that mistake could’ve costed you guys the game and the championship, wasn’t for you” he continued “she left the field holding back her tears”.   
“Wait, Sara was crying?” Nicole asked shocked.   
“Yes, and you know how rare it is for her to show any emotion other than her usual sassiness event to you, now imagine in the middle of the field” Nathan said “so why don’t you go talk to her and try to get her to join us tonight?” He suggested. “I’ll wait in the car”.   
“Thanks Nate”

The girl smiled at her brother. Having him accompany her to pretty much all of her games was something that had become her favorite tradition. Before Nathan started going, Nicole was one of the two only girls without a family to support them and cheer them on. It was unsurprising though. Philip Haught was the town’s sheriff and between dealing with matters of law and his long lasting campaign for the mayoral position, he barely had time with his family. Meanwhile her mom had to tend to everything related to their house and their four kids in addition to playing the part of the perfect wife. The empty space on the bleachers was minimized only by Sara, who’s mom had passed away when she was an infant and who’s dad trailed the very same path as Philip as his running mate. And so for a long time, they had cheered each other in the locking room before the game, from the bench and across the field during the match. 

But then Nathan started showing up. He’d sit shyly in the corner and would keep mostly to himself, quietly celebrating the team’s wins and mourning their losses. Nicole figured that it was his way of spending time with her before he moved to California to begin his medical degree. Nathan kept coming back whenever she had a home game and throughout the year his attitude changed from restrained to nearly the cheer captain. Before anyone could’ve realized he had befriended all of the moms and dads and thus becoming an honorary member of the PTA. He had earned his spot in the bleachers and had effortlessly turned the sibling bonding time into an actually fun activity. Needless to say that Nicole loved him for it. His presence relaxed her and undoubtedly contributed to her improvement. But what she most thankful for was how he did the very same thing for Sara as well. So the girl smiled at her brother. An honest smile full of love and adoration. 

“Nate..” Nicole asked hesitantly.  
“Yeah?” The boy responded, pulling his attention away from his cup of soda.  
“Do you think that’s really why Sara was crying?” The girl asked “the game I mean”.  
“Are you really asking me for advice about your best friend?” He said, clearly shocked by the unexpected turn of events “if there’s one person that truly knows the girl, it’s you”.  
“I know” she nodded.  
“You’re Sara’s other half, the better one if I’m being honest, although I think I’m a bit suspicious to talk about it” Nathan joked “but even if it’s something else, I don’t think there’s anything that you couldn’t help her by just being you and being there”.  
“Damn, who would’ve known you were deep” Nicole teased.  
“You know, I was trying to be nice, you asshole” he rolled his eyes.  
“Sorry, i had to” the girl winked.  
“Just… ugh” Nathan accepted his defeat “that girl is crazy for you and if there’s anyone that can get her to open up about whatever it is that is upsetting her, whether it’s the game or something else, it’s you”.  
“You’re probably right” Nicole nodded “I guess the idea of Sara crying was so unexpected that I got a bit too shocked and lost for a second here, but I’ve got this”.  
“Yeah you do!” He agreed enthusiastically. “And if you don’t, you can always give her back to Nick, although never in the history of society a man has been able to help more than a girl, in anything really”.  
“See?” The girl said, “Depth” she laughed.

Nathan smiled back and Nicole stole his gigantic cup of coke before running away from him. The girl heard him cursing behind her but she brushed it away with a laugh before walking into the locking room. The air conditioning was a huge relief after having spent the entire afternoon in the bright summer sun of Heavens County. Nicole noticed how the room was mostly clean and empty. Usually, after the games and practice, the team would hang out in the locker room for a little while, gossiping about this and that and overall enjoying the company of their teammates, their friends. The redhead figured that the abrupt change had been caused by the approaching year’s end party, two weeks after the beginning of their summer vacations.. No junior could keep their mouths shut about the big event hosted by the principal’s son while his mom was away. It wasn’t too shocking to imagine that all the girls, much like everyone else, would use their Saturday night to go shopping. 

On the other side of the lockers, Nicole saw the first indications that the place wasn’t completely deserted. A yellow gym bag was on one of the benches. There were several things scattered on the floor beneath it, as if the bag had been dropped there carelessly, almost angrily. Across the room, close to the wall that held the team’s rather gigantic poster, the redhead found her best friend’s mostly destroyed glove. Nicole knew Sara well enough to understand what had happened in there. That was usually how the blonde dealt with her frustrations, by lashing out, by getting pissed off at the smallest of things. Like a softball glove. The only thing that surprised the redhead was not finding more destructed equipment. 

Nicole heard a loud noise coming from one of the shower stall immediately followed by an even louder curse. Sara’s voice was raspier than usual and it was only then that the redhead realized that Nathan was right. Sara was indeed crying. The sound broke her heart. Without thinking, Nicole pushed open the aluminum door to find the blonde sitting on the floor, defeated. Sara still wore her uniform despite the shower being on. The white jersey stuck tightly to her body making her look small. She looked up at the unexpected intruder and Nicole saw her red puffy eyes and it broke her heart even further. The redhead wanted to beat herself up for being so wrapped up in her happiness and her win that she hadn’t noticed how unhappy and crushed her best friend was. 

“Hey” Nicole said, the ache in her chest making her voice shaky.   
“Hey” Sara said after a little while “what are you doing here still?”  
“I came to see how you were doing” the redhead smiled sadly.   
“Peachy” the blonde sighed. “I thought I was alone, I didn’t think anyone else was here” she said “I’m sorry about the mess”.   
“Sara, no” Nicole said. “Do you honestly believe I’d ever leave you behind?” She sat on the shower floor by her best friend’s side “Or care about any mess you could ever make?”  
“What are you doing?” the blonde asked shocked. “You’re gonna get soaking wet!   
“I don’t mind getting all wet for you” Nicole responded immediately. “If you want to have a pity party in the shower, then I’ll join you”.   
“For fucks sake Nicky!” Sara raised her hand and turned off water.   
“Better” the redhead nodded.   
“I’m entitled to this you know?” The blonde sighed. “I’m entitled to feeling sad, to having a feeling pity party”.   
“Of course you are” Nicole said “when you have a reason to” she continued “but that’s not the case now, we won and that’s all that matters right now”.  
“Not thanks to me” Sara said sadly, her eyes dropping to the floor as she did.   
“Is that what you think?” The redhead asked.   
“I hit the batter Nicky, on my first pitch” the blonde argued “I tied the game for the other team on the last inning” she continued “if it wasn’t for you and your skills I would’ve costed us the championship we all worked so hard to get”.   
“Well, yeah” Nicole said “but I wouldn’t even be on the team if it wasn’t for you”.   
“What?” The girl asked confused.   
“I would have flunked basic physics if you hadn’t tutored me through all those weekends when you could’ve been out having fun” the redhead noted.   
“Well yeah, but you’re my best friend, I wouldn’t let you flunk in school” Sara said.   
“And Taylor wouldn’t have been able to get to fourth base if you hadn’t accompanied her on her running every morning” Nicole pointed out “and Kate wouldn’t have thrown that sick curveball if you hadn’t stayed over after practice to help her learn that move” she continued “my point is, yes you made a mistake there, but we wouldn’t have made it through the qualifiers if it wasn’t for you and everyone knows that”.   
“Thank you” the blonde said after a moment.  
“You really don’t have to thank me” the redhead smiled “now why don’t we get out of these wet clothes and into dry ones and join Nathan in the car so we can go celebrate our win?”  
“No Nicky, I really have to ...I really have to thank you for being the only person who’s always there for me and who always will” she admitted “I have no idea how my life would be without you in it and I don’t even want to imagine it”.   
“You don’t have to, I’m not going anywhere without you” she said. 

Nicole looked at her best friend. Her face was a cryptic puzzle that the redhead couldn’t quite decipher. A whirlwind of emotions was visible on her features and the redhead didn’t know what to make of it. Sara’s eyes begun watering again and she had to take deep breaths to keep the tears at bay. Instinctively, Nicole’s thumb went to her cheek to wipe those stubborn tears that fell despite the girl’s attempts at preventing just that. And that was when, completely unexpectedly, Sara pulled her in for a kiss. Their lips met and Nicole’s mind went completely quiet. There were no thoughts crossing her mind, there was no overthinking, no doubts, no uncertainty. All there was in that moment was the feeling of Sara’s soft tear stained lips carefully pushing against hers. And surprisingly enough, that didn’t scare the redhead. 

Nicole closed her eyes and let Sara pull her closer. The blonde had one of her hands on the nape of her best friend’s neck, toying with the baby hair that had escaped her ponytail throughout the game. The redhead let herself be guided by what she felt. By how the way her best friend’s soft accidental pulling of her hair made her lightheaded. By how Sara’s tentative tongue shyly pushed her lips open. By how the pull in her lower abdomen became more and more intense as their kiss deepened. By how the rim of Sara’s wet jersey felt against her skin. Nicole stopped only when she didn’t feel like stopping at all. She reluctantly pulled back and away from her best friend despite her body’s wishes. The redhead looked at the other girl and blushed as she noticed the swallowing of her lips. The first thought to cross Nicole’s mind was that she had just kissed her best friend. She had just kissed a girl. And for the first time, she had finally understood how a kiss should feel. Just right. 

“Sara” Nicole panted.   
“Nicky” The blonde’s tone was shaky. Her fast breathing was clear by the way her chest moved up and down rapidly.  
“Wh… what was that?” Was the first thing the redhead could managed to say, still unable to form full sentences.  
“I… I’m” Sarah spoke in tongues “I don’t know, I’m sorry” she bit on her lip, clearly anxious “maybe we should get going”.  
“No, just no” Nicole said firmly “you kissed me”.  
“I’m sorry, I guess my emotions are just everywhere and I didn’t think” the blonde said. the lack of eye contact weirded the redhead out.  
“You sure did not” the girl said “I mean, we didn’t”.  
“Look, it happened, let’s not make a big deal out of it okay?” Sara said, already putting herself together.  
“Wait, Sar, just wait” the redhead pleaded “give me a second to fucking thing okay?”  
“You don’t have to” the blonde pleaded “like I said, we don’t need to make a big deal out of it, you don’t need to run out of your mind with trying to rationalize this like you do everything else in your life”.  
“Woah there” Nicole said offended.  
“Look, I’m sorry” Sara sighed “I kissed you, I did” she said “you’re my best friend and I love you more than anyone else and I got carried out by the overwhelming emotions” she continued “I did kiss you and I’m sorry for that, can we just move on with our lives like nothing happened?” She asked. “Please?”  
“But it did happen and we do need to talk about it” the redhead pushed.  
“Stop overthinking! Fuck” the blonde yelled. “I can’t risk losing you specially because of an impulsive move, so please, do this one thing for me and just let it go”.  
“Okay… I suppose” the girl said, surprisingly hurt by the outburst of her best friend.  
“Okay”.

Nicole nodded. There was a lump in her throat for every word that she didn’t get to speak. The redhead didn’t want to understand why, all of the sudden, there was a hole in the place where her heart used to be. And she certainly didn’t want to understand the clear correlation between the burning of her lips and the painful sentiment of having a precious thing slip through her hands. Nicole didn’t want to understand but deep down she knew all the reasons why she was hurting right there in the middle of the locker room after an historic championship win. Lines had been blurred with that kiss and long forgotten and deep hidden feelings had begun flourishing once more. Only to get shut down immediately. The redhead looked at her best friend picking up her mess on the floor and changing into dry clothes and the place in her heart where the flame of hope had been momentarily lit burned with the cold phantom light. 

The redhead shook her head knowing there was no point in dwelling on the topic since Sara wouldn’t change her mind, she never did. When the blonde set her mind on something, there was virtually nothing anyone could do, not even her best friend. Nicole had grown accustomed to her stubbornness. She opened her locker and picked up a towel and a bag of clean clothes that she always kept there in case of unforeseen events. Nicole unbuttoned her jersey and took out her wet pants before quickly drying herself up. She heard the locker room’s door closing and noticed that her best friend had walked away, leaving her all alone. The redhead didn’t cry despite the few unavoidable tears that she shed before swallowing the lump in her throat. Nicole took a deep breaths to calm her racing mind and finished getting ready. She realized that her helplessness came from her complete lack of preparation for all of that and not just the kiss and the confusing feelings that took over her body as Sara’s hand explored her wet skin. The redhead was confused with everything, hurt by her friend’s explosion, mad for being left without a chance t go over everything and just, overall, overwhelmed with not knowing what it all meant to Sara, to her and to their friendship.

-/-

Nathan parked his car in the farthest possible spot in the parking lot. His car, a mud green 1960 Chevy truck, had been a gift from their grandpa for his university acceptance letter, a tradition from the Haught family to award their kids’ wins. He had spent a good part of his senior year in the garage fixing the engine and reassembling its exterior until it became a completely refurbished classic. Nathan was extremely careful and protective of it, doing everything he possibly could to protect the car, including avoiding long drives, not to strain too much the engine, and never parking it too close to large groups of people. Nicole understood his precautions. She was the only sibling he had allowed anywhere near the truck while he was working on it and she had even been given a chance to drive it once around the block. Annoying as he was when it came to his car, Nicole still understood and appreciated his dedication to keeping it unharmed. 

“Alright everyone” Nathan said as soon as he turned off the engine “the dinner seems to be a bit crowded so why don’t the two of you go have fun at the arcade while I stay in line and grab us a table?”  
“That’s the excuse you’re going for?” Nicole teased.  
“Shut up” he rolled his eyes “can we meet up at around seven to eat?”  
“Is anyone else joining us?” The girl asked.   
“I texted our siblings but go figure if any of them will actually show up” Nathan said “and I’ve also invited Natalie, I hope you don’t mind”.   
“Of course you did” Nicole winked amused.   
“This sounds great Nate” Sara finally spoke “I’ll get going now but I’ll see you in a few”.   
“Okay...” the boy replied as she closed the door behind her “is everything alright with her? She seems a bit odd”.   
“I guess” Nicole shrugged “she’s probably still upset over the game”.   
“Didn’t you two talk?” Nathan asked. “You were in that locker room for a little while”.   
“We did talk, but you know Sara, she’s got a mind of her own and no one can change it” the girl pointed out “she’s stubborn like that”  
“Okay, now you’re the one who’s acting weird” he said “what happened with you two?”  
“Nothing happened for god's sake” Nicole barked “why do you always assume that my moods have anything to do with Sara?” She asked angrily   
“I don...” Nate tried to say.   
“There’s more to my life than Sara, my world does not revolve around her” she said “it’s not like she’s anything more than a friend to me”.  
“Okay now, hot headed, chill alright?” Nathan said, putting his hands up apologetically. “I was just asking cause you just won a championship, I was sort of hoping to see more smiles and less angry remarks”.   
“I know, I’m sorry” Nicole apologized, suddenly feeling very guilt for lashing out on him.   
“I know it’s hard to be happy when someone you love that much isn't” he said “but you just did something amazing that you should be proud of and if someone, anyone, even your best friend, is unable to be happy for you, then fuck them” he continued “go celebrate, go be happy with or without them”.   
“Thanks Nate, I will” she jumped out of the car.   
“And Nicky” Nathan yelled from where he stood “I’m always here for you”. 

Nicole smiled and nodded. She had always known that Nathan liked and cared about her the most, it was clear by pretty much everything he did. From the small things such as saving for her the ice cream bowl with more sprinkles, to becoming an honorary member of the PTA. And she had noticed that his carring side was appearing more and more as he prepared to move to California. But Nicole also knew that he didn’t think she regarded him the most amongst the Haught siblings. Justifiably. Given the short age gap between she and Nicholas and the fact that he was in the same class as her, it was only natural that the two would be close. And Nicole did adore Nick. He was funny, understanding, sweet, an overall life of the party and always made her look good by association. But Nicholas was just a great buddy whereas Nathan was much more than that, he was the brother Nicole looked up to. 

As the redhead made her way to the arcade, a group of senior boys stopped her in her tracks. The boys, which she had seen around the school a couple of times, emphatically congratulated her on leading the team to victory. Apparently, as she was informed, the unprecedented and overall unexpected championship win was the talk of the town and Nicole’s amazing final play had everyone gushing. The boys’ fuss was controlled by one particularly tall blonde boy. Oliver, as he introduced himself, was the current captain of the lacrosse team, and spared no compliments to the redhead. Nicole smiled politely at his words, allowing her pride to be pampered. The blonde boy pushed away one of his teammates that had tried to join the both of them and the redhead wondered if his niceness was his way of flirting with her. Which was the last thing she wanted. But it felt good to have someone other than her brother actively acknowledge her and her win. 

Oliver excused himself for a couple of seconds before returning with two cold coors light. Nicole hesitantly picked up one and politely sipped on it, having to fake her absolute hatred for the drink. The boy kept making easy conversation, making sure to throw in compliments every now and again and, regardless of how unusual and typically annoying it was, the redhead enjoyed his company. Nicole noticed the boy slowly approaching, gently placing a hand on her hip, and she didn’t move away. Instead, she welcomed the foreign feeling. The redhead saw Oliver’s golden eyes close as he moved to kiss her and, wasn’t for the brief sight of Sara in front of the arcade watching the entire ordeal unfold, she wouldn’t have slightly turned her face so his lips would rest on her cheek. Surprisingly, the blonde boy simply smiled at the action, asking only for the girl’s number before she ran off to the arcade. 

Nicole was still taken aback by Oliver when she pushed open the doors to the old arcade. From all the boys in Heavens, Oliver was one from whom she would never have expected such niceness. But despite all of it, all of the heartwarming unexpectedness of his actions, the redhead was still forced to admit that seeing the look on Sara’s face, even from across the parking lot, moved her more than anything Oliver could have ever done. And so Nicole walked in the Arcade with the mission to find her best friend and try to understand why, after nearly ten years of friendship, feelings much stronger and confusing than those of sisterhood had begun sparking between them. The redhead needed to understand what had gotten into Sara to kiss her out of nowhere. She needed to understand those things if she was to label exactly what she was feeling. 

The first place the redhead checked was the World Combat stand. Sara would usually spend a great part of her chips in there trying to regain the high score she had lost to her best friend a few months earlier. Competing was their thing, especially on video games, it was a way they found of both having fun and to improve several abilities. But Sara was nowhere near the shooting games, nor was she in the classics area. Nicole was about done with her search when she spot her best friend in a dark corner of the arcade, playing an impressively old and completely analog pinball. The redhead looked at the blonde. Her hair, still up in a ponytail, hadn’t fully dried yet despite the fast approaching summer. Her shoulders were tense and that tension went all the way through her hands and fingers violently pressing the buttons on the purple machine. Nicole had to actively fight the desire to massage the area, in circular motion to relieve the pressure in the muscles in there. To climb all the way to her clavicle and neck. To place open mouth kisses in the exposed area... 

“Sara” Nicole said, swallowing hard to push down the feelings that suddenly overpowered her brain.   
“Oh, hey” the girl jumped slightly, taken aback by the unexpected company “I didn’t think I’d see you anytime soon”.   
“And why is that?” The redhead asked.   
“Well, you were taking a little while to get here” Sara begun.   
“That’s because you ran off and did not wait for me” Nicole noted.   
“And when I went to get you” the blonde continued, rolling her eyes at the intromission “you were already pretty... comfortable with someone else”.   
“Oliver was being nice, a gentleman” the redhead protested “he was congratulating me on being the MVP and on our win”.   
“With his tongue inside your mouth?” Sara hissed.   
“Maybe” she shrugged. “He seems to be a nice and decent boy... man”.   
“A boy man, how appropriate” the blonde laughed lightly.   
“Oliver is sweet, kind and respectful” Nicole said “and for your information I didn’t kiss him” she continued “but I really, really thought that you, my best friend, would be happy that I had finally found someone that may like me”.   
“You finally foun...” Sara quietly repeated the sentence shaking her head “of course”.  
“Aren’t you happy for me?” The redhead pushed.   
“I’m ecstatic” she lied.   
“Oh fuck you Sara, really” Nicole said angrily “you’re incapable of being happy for me” she continued “for leading our team to the win, for being awarded the most valuable player of the entire championship, for meeting a nice family boy” the girl tried to control her tone “it’s just you and your wishes and whims”.  
“Where are you going?” Sara asked, finally turning away from the game and towards the other girl that had started walking away.   
“To the dinner, home, back to the parking lot, anywhere but here really” the redhead shrugged. 

Nicole took a deep breathe as she continued walking away from her best friend. She felt the air traveling through her body and feeling in her lungs, forcing the tsunami of feelings from drowning her. With every new intake of air, with every inflation and deflation of her lungs the redhead felt the chocked up tears closer and closer to falling from her eyes. She took another breathe. Nicole was physically tired from the game and mentally exhausted from all the new and complicated friction with her best friend. She knew she needed every help she could get to avoid bawling in the middle of the arcade. Much as she wanted, she didn’t look back even though she knew Sara had her solo focus on her. It was clear by the hole burning in her back. Nicole could clearly feel the girl’s mind twisting and turning with each new step she took but she kept moving anyway. 

The redhead was mad at her friend. She was mad at Sara for a whole lot of confusing feelings. For making her accomplishments seem like nothing because she was butthurt about her failure. For, not only blatantly ignoring the fact that a nice and handsome boy had shown interest in her, but actively belittling it. But what Nicole was the maddest about, was the way her best friend had kissed her as if nothing and no one else mattered in the entire world, only to turn around and pretend to erase it from her memory. The redhead sighed, frustrated. She was supposed to be enjoying a celebratory night out with two of her absolute favorite people, but instead, she was walking away from one of them. Nicole’s overthinking was overcome with surprise as swift hands pushed her inside an old photo booth. 

“I’m” the girl tried to say “stop squirming, it’s just me” she rolled her eyes.  
“You can’t just grab people by the shoulder Sara!” The redhead yelled. “You scared me!”  
“You’re more than perfectly capable of putting anyone on the floor” the blonde said “but that’s not the point” she continued “I am happy for you and I’m so fucking proud of you”.  
“Oh really?” Nicole rolled her eyes.   
“Yes really” Sara ignored her “I’m really fucking proud of my best friend who single handedly won a very hard match and led our team to winning its first championship ever” she said “and I’m happy that this entire town knows just how amazing you are”.   
“You have a weird way of showing that” the redhead shrugged.   
“I know, I’m sorry, but you know me, I don’t really know what to do with overwhelming feelings, I didn’t have anyone around to teach me” the blonde noted.   
“I know” Nicole sat on the small bench, petting the space besides her “but you can’t do that, you can’t act out because you don’t know how to reconcile your thoughts and emotions, you hurt me”.   
“Because of what i said about Romeo over there?” Sara asked.   
“No” the redhead responded “yes” she shook her head “he seems like a really nice guy, he knows Nate and he’s the lacrosse team captain” she continued “shouldn’t you at least be happy for me?”  
“Did almost kissing the boy-man made you happy?” The blonde questioned.   
“That’s besides the point” Nicole dodged “I have to start somewhere, or do you expect me to keep third wheeling you and Nick every time you two go on dates?”  
“For the last time, those weren’t dates!” Sara hissed angrily.   
“He’s your boyfriend” the redhead responded with the same tone.   
“Much as our parents wanted, i'm not dating your brother” the blonde groaned “I’m not Nicholas anything”.   
“That’s not what everyone thinks” Nicole reminded her.   
“When he’s not high or drunk, Nick is fine and it does make sense that our fathers, who are work partners and childhood friends, would want to see us being a couple and getting married and having many redhead children we could name after them” Sara begun “after all, Nate has been head over heels in love with Natalie since forever and Noah will never miss his D&D sessions for anyone” she said “so it does make sense that our dads would want me to fall in love with the remaining Haught son”.   
“Hey, watch the criticism, those are my brothers!” The redhead protested.  
“But I couldn’t ever give him a piece of my heart” the blonde said “not when it belongs to someone else”.   
“Sara...” Nicole advised.   
“I can’t fall in love with Nicholas because I am and I have always been, ever since the first day, in love with you” she confessed.   
“Sa...” the redhead tried to say before getting interrupted.   
“Girls, if you’re not gonna use the booth you gotta leave it vacant for those who actually want to use it” a sharp voice said, followed by a loud thud in the wooden outside of the booth.   
“We’ll be right out sir” Sara yelled, already making her way out of it. 

Nicole stood there, frozen. She couldn’t exactly wrap her head around what Sara had just confessed. It was surreal to think that after all those years of friendship, one day had been enough to turn everything upside down. To get the blonde to confess her love. Nicole closed her eyes and let her mind drift through her childhood and early teenage years. She remembered a young Sara sleeping in the redhead’s room for three months after her mom passed away. She remembered all those times that she, barely a child, had woken up to comfort the petite blonde as she cried herself to sleep. Nicole remembered the victorious feeling that filled her chest every time she would make her friend smile. The redhead thought about them growing up, going to the same classes, playing on the same teams, liking the same things. Nicole thought back to all those things, realizing that it hadn’t actually been one day that changed their dynamic. It had been one moment to ignite something that had been dormant for as long as she could remember. Unbeknownst to the both of them it had taken the girls one moment to ignite a spark of something brighter and more intense than a friendship. 

The redhead pulled the curtain to find a fearful Sara waiting for her. Nicole took her hand in hers and allowed the blonde girl to pull her towards the back of the arcade. They pushed open a door that led them to the oldest room in the building, a place that had been under renovation for as long as the both of them could remember. Sara was nervous. She fidgeted with her shirt, wrapping and unwrapping it around her fingers, focusing all of her attention on it rather than on anything else. Nicole wasn’t so different, except that her nerves also came with uncertainty, doubting and wanting. The redhead used her free hand to tilt her friend’s head up so they could look eye to eye. 

“You’re in love with me?” She asked.   
“Yes” the blonde girl asked without hesitating.   
“How?” Nicole asked.   
“How, what?” Sara asked unsure. “How am I in love with you?”  
“No, not... not that” the redhead shook her head “I’ve known you for years, you’re my best friend and my favorite person and I love you but” she tried.   
“How do I know I’m in love with you” Sara said.   
“Yes” Nicole nodded.   
“That’s a good question I suppose” the blonde pondered “but I guess deep down I’ve always been and just denied it, hid it deep down” she continued “and there were so many impediments to this... You’re a girl and my best friend, our families are practically one and our dads basically run this town. I guess that it was just easier to bury it than to try and understand it”.   
“What changed?” The redhead asked. “Because you kissed me”.   
“Lately you’ve been talking about universities and the future and I can’t fathom not being with you” Sara confessed “not holding your hand, not cheering you on, not seeing you everyday, not coming home to find you there. I couldn’t fathom that”.   
“And you kissed me to prove a point to yourself” Nicole nodded.   
“Yes” the blonde smiled “but also because I had to do that at least once, even if it meant ruining our friendship, I had to” she continued “I’ve always known you were amazing but now everyone else knows it too and you can already see the result of that by Oliver” she shook her head “anyway, that’s that and I’m sorry if I stepped over all the lines”.   
“Sar, I kissed you back” the redhead said simply. 

Swiftly, Nicole shifted her hand from her friend’s chin to the nape of her neck, pulling her closer so their lips could meet once more. Sara stumbled back with the unexpected movement and the redhead had to work to the best of her skills to hold the both of them upwards. The blonde gripped on her hips, tightly holding on to her waistband to get her best friend as close as possible. Nicole let go of the blonde’s hand and allowed her own to explore her body. Navigating her curves and her muscles, taking in every single inch of the girl, memorizing the feel of her thumb barely grazing her skin. The light touch were electric and warmed up the redhead. Embolden by the responses she was getting, Nicole slipped her tongue in with an ease she didn’t know she had and the blonde’s muffled moan echoed through her entire body. Shivers went down her back. The baby hair on the back of her neck stood up. Every cell in her body burned as if the simplest of touches could set it ablaze. The pull in lower abdomen demanded attention, begged to answered. Begged for more. 

Nicole pushed forward, blindingly guiding the both of them through the messy room. Hesitant small steps led them to a pile of pallets in a dark corner of the room. The redhead gently lifted her friend up and helped her sit on it, finally pulling away from the kiss. Their breathing were heavy. Both girl panted as they opened their eyes and locked them on each other. Nicole’s mind overloaded with thoughts about what she was doing. She was kissing a girl, her best friend of all people. But there was no time for uncertainty. The air in the room weighted with too much desire to be avoided. Nothing else mattered in the entire world. Not in that moment. Not with Sara biting on her lower lip expectantly. Even if she had had the time to contemplate it all, the newness of that would’ve been insignificant over the amazingness of it. 

And so Nicole dove into the kiss. Gently placing her body on top of Sara’s, careful not to put too much weight on top of the girl. The redhead didn’t know exactly what to do next, all she knew was how to navigate, guided by her feelings. When Nicole placed lazy light kisses on her best friend’s lips, Sara would’ve tighten the grip on her hair, pulling her closer. When she would kiss harder, the blonde would moan in a husky tone and when Nicole would allow her hands to travel through the other girl’s body, she would shiver from head to toe. The redhead allowed Sara’s reactions to embolden her actions, to explore into delighting new territory. Temptingly, Nicole begun trailing kisses down her best friend’s neck, her hand lifting the girl’s chin up to allow more access. She would replace light kisses by soft bites and open mouthed kisses. She dared to go lower, kissing the blonde’s collarbone. Sara threw her head back, her breathing picking up as she struggled to remain composed. The girls pulled back scared when the sound of a door being slammed shut caught their attention. 

“Sar, we have to go” Nicole said, already jumping off the pallet.   
“Nicky...” the blonde trailed off.   
“It’s alright, I promise” the redhead smiled “this just isn’t the time nor the place”.   
“Can we pick this up later?” Sara asked curiously.   
“Sweetie” Nicole said in a husky and provocative tone “we’ll be doing this for a long time” she raised an eyebrow and smirked.   
“You’re an idiot” the blonde rolled her eyes amused.   
“Well, you’re in love with me so there’s that” she teased.   
“Ugh, I hate you so much” Sara laughed.   
“Sure you do” Nicole said “I’m just kidding” she gave the girl a peck on her lips “we should go to the dinner”.   
“I’ll go anywhere with you” Sara said, offering her hand so the other girl could take it. 

Nicole took her best friend’s hand and laced their fingers together. There was a relaxing familiarity to that act and yet it felt completely new. Holding hands with her girl friend was something she’d always done. It was almost second nature to them. There was an inexplicable comfort to having Sara’s fingers laced with her own. It was warm, soft, easy, welcoming and assuring. One could find the two girls holding hands wherever they went together, either it was on their way to and from classes, while walking to practice with her other teammates or simply as they sat side by side watching a lame horror film. It was automatic and they did it without even realizing what they were doing. Holding hands was a way for them to be closer to one another and to reaffirm their presence in each other’s lives, and Nicole had never paid much attention to it. That was until they started walking out of the renovating room, fingers laced together and butterflies twisting and turning agitatedly in her stomach. 

The redhead noticed how bright Sara’s smile was. That wasn’t frequent for the blonde, in fact, she was so serious that any smile was a rarity on its own. But it hadn’t always been the case. Nicole remembered very well how much the blonde would smile as a child. Her laughters could be heard through the neighborhood as her dad spun her around the kitchen. However, as she grew up and started to understand what had really happened to her mother, the sound was reserved for extremely special people and situations. But Sara’s smile had always been something that caught the redhead’s eye. It was beautiful and it infected everyone around her. It warmed her heart to know that she was worthy of the blonde’s brightest smile. And so Nicole mimicked her action naturally, realizing that her heart skipped a beat at the sight. 

They walked into the classic looking dinner at a quarter past seven, not having realized that so much time had passed since they had arrived at the arcade. They easily spotted Nathan sitting in a corner booth talking animatedly with his non-girlfriend. Natalie threw her head back, laughing at something the man had said, making Nate smile proudly at his accomplishment. On the opposite corner, Nicole noticed another redhead casually dipping his french fries in a small bowl of ketchup. His curly red hair were shorter but still unmistakable to the girl. Still hand in hand with her best friend, Nicole jogged animatedly towards her siblings. She threw her free arm around Nick’s shoulder and hugged him from behind. The boy jumped slightly, visibly taken by surprise by the act. 

“You really need to work on your side eye view Nick” Nicole said “you didn’t even see me approaching” she explained “you’ll never win your fights otherwise”.   
“My peripheral vision is great, I was just a bit absent minded, that’s all” he shrugged.  
“I thought you had to study for your upcoming tests” the girl said “don’t you have to like ace them to avoid summer school?”  
“Yes dad” Nicholas said “enough with the nagging alright?”  
“Okay you two, we’re here to eat and celebrate” Nathan intervened.  
“I do have to study Sis and I’ll get to it as soon as we get home” Nicholas said “but I thought I’d surprise my two favorite girls and celebrate their amazing win first”.   
“I didn’t really think any of our siblings would come, and when Nick here showed up we decided to surprise you two after you got here” Nathan confessed “but you are unusually late so he had to wait around for you girls”.   
“Sorry, we lost track of time” Sara apologized.   
“I figured you were probably off doing girl stuff and forgot to check your watches” Nicholas said “I even went looking for you”.   
“You did?” Nicole asked surprised.   
“Oh yes, you know me, I was hungry and didn’t want to wait much longer” Nicholas joked “so I looked everywhere in the arcade, from the shooting games to the old analogs” he continued “I even looked at the children’s game section and that forever renovating room”.   
“You... did?” Nicole felt the air being pulled out of her lungs.   
“Oh yes I did little sister” he nodded, knowing very well they were both in the same page “I guess the two of you were getting busy at some hidden corner”.   
“Anyway, then he came back and we’ve been waiting for you girls for like ten minutes” Nathan interrupted “you guys always give too much information when telling stories, Jesus”.   
“Well you know me, I like to paint a clear picture of things” Nicholas said.   
“Yeah, yeah , yeah, whatever, I really don’t want to hear all about what lies in the dark corners of the town’s arcade” Nathan rolled his eyes “can we please order now?”  
“Yes” the other four people answered in unison. 

Nicole slowly let go of her best friend’s hand, the tightening in her chest growing more painful as she felt Sara’s fingers slid away from hers. She closed her eyes. A small seed of panic had been planted in her heart as she heard Nicholas subtle confession and it spread through her veins, her muscles and her bones as she stared at him. The panic lingering in every cell in her body was a new thing, it wasn’t the usual discomfort of having her secrets exposed. It was something else entirely. The redhead felt as if every single cell terrified over an invisible yet seemingly imminent threat. In a split second she had gone through everything she had ever felt in her entire live, looking for any pat situations in which she could’ve exposed herself. She felt naked, as if everyone in that place could see every inch of her soul, every small fracture and flaw. Nicole’s fear was raw, indisputable and it left her bare. For the first time, Nicole started caring that she had kissed a girl, her childhood best friend of all people. Suddenly all she could do was doubt everything. Her mind started filing itself with uncertainty and her mouth tasting something bitter. Something a lot like regret and shame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know i said chapter 20 would be the painful one, but with the split i pushed it to chapter 21.  
> Next chapter will be very personal to me, and like i said before, it won't be very easy to read (it hasn't been easy to write) but I guess you can imagine how it'll go by the way this chapter ended and by the breadcrumbs I've been leaving throughout this story. So I just wanted to say once again that if someone think it's a bit triggering, there's no need to read the chapter cause the story will still make sense without it.


End file.
